by Natasha West
Izzy smiled. ‘Because when the dust settled, it sort of, a little bit did in fact help. I mean, I wouldn’t recommend it as a method of coming out but it got the job done, I guess.’
Simon moaned. ‘I’ll never forgive myself.’
‘You will’ Izzy said dryly, turning back to the mirror. ‘You did the first time. You don’t even remember you did it, for god’s sakes.’
‘You said it was guilt repression!’ Simon argued.
‘I take it back. You’re probably just an insensitive brute’ Izzy told him with a half-smile.
‘God, though. That Sophie sounded nuts, man’ Simon mused.
Izzy frowned. ‘Did you listen to that story? She wasn’t the bad guy. I was.’
Simon was surprised. ‘Don’t agree. Like you said, she insisted she wouldn’t catch feelings. And then she did. That ain’t on you.’
Izzy shook her head at her brother’s simple way of looking at things. ‘Alicia hurt me and what did I do? I went ahead and took it out on Sophie. She wasn’t nuts, she was just in pain. On some level, I knew she would be when I started it. But I’d decided to be selfish so there you go. Me’ she said with a thumb at herself. ‘Bad guy.’
Simon mused on it as his sister applied mascara. ‘If you say so. What happened to her, anyway?’ he asked.
‘Mmm? Oh, she’s a geology teacher now. Living with a lovely woman who I believe is also a geology teacher. They have three Saint Bernards.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘She friended me on Facebook a few years ago’ Izzy smiled. ‘We even met up once to reminisce about the old days.’
‘That sounds like a shocking time’ Simon said. ‘What the hell were you thinking?’
‘It was nice, actually. I got the chance to apologise, which I’m glad about. She said sorry too.’
Simon tutted. ‘Lesbians. If I did something like that, I wouldn’t even think about doing all that amends stuff. No, better to just leave it.’
Before Izzy could reply, Joanne suddenly burst through the door. She was wearing a fascinator that looked somewhat askew and there was vivid colour in her cheeks. ‘Morning!’ she said, too cheerily.
‘What’s wrong?’ Izzy asked straight away.
Joanne laughed shrilly. ‘Nothing’s wrong! What could be wrong?’
‘Mum, for god’s sakes, just spill it!’ Simon demanded.
Joanne gave a light laugh and said, ‘Oh, it’s really nothing, darling. We just can’t, haha, find the bride, hahaha.’
Simon raised an eyebrow and pointed at Izzy. ‘She’s right there, Mum.’
‘Are you dense?’ Izzy asked him. ‘She means the other bride.’ She rounded on her mother. ‘What do you mean? Where is she?’
‘I don’t know. That’s what I’m telling you’ Joanne said sheepishly.
‘No, but I’m saying…’ Izzy began, her heart pumping with fresh anxiety, her breath quickening. She was officially panicking. ‘Mum, can you just tell me… Are you saying she’s left?’
‘Let’s not jump to conclusions.’
‘You just ran in here like a mad person and told me the woman I’m marrying has fled the scene. That’s not a jump to a conclusion. It’s a small step at best’ Izzy exploded at her mother. Just for once, could she not just be honest?
‘Look, I went to knock on her door and she wasn’t there, that’s all. And then I spoke to her mother who said she hadn’t seen her in half an hour, that’s all. And she’s not picking up her phone, that’s all’ Joanne babbled.
Izzy stood up from the stool. ‘So now we know. I’ve been left at my wedding’ she announced to the room dramatically.
Simon stepped between his mother and his sister, saying, ‘Woah, woah, let’s just take it easy now. The ceremony hasn’t kicked off yet. So at worse, you’ve been left on the morning of your wedding, Iz. That’s nowhere near as bad.’
Izzy was less than comforted by that. ‘Right!’ she said, striding across the room, hiking her long dress up around her calves to allow speed.
‘Where you going?’ Simon asked.
‘To find her’ Izzy told him. ‘I’m not letting her get off that easy. If she’s running out, she’ll have to say it to my face.’
2010:
‘Maybe this is where we turn it around?’
Eighteen
Ding went the bell. Izzy sat down and they were off. ‘Hi, I’m Izzy’ she told the girl sat opposite her. She was a white girl with dreads, which was an immediate red flag. But Izzy tried not to judge.
‘I’m Moon Beam’ the girl said.
‘Sorry, did you say your name was Moon Beam?’ Izzy said. She’d known this was a mistake. This was what came of going back to your home town and trying to speed-date. You got a Moon Beam.
But this wasn’t the worst of her current situation. Izzy hated living with her parents again. Thank Christ it was temporary, just six months while she completed an internship. While she was here, she was giving romance a go again. Because it had been thin times in the l’amour department, ever since Sophie and the non-start with Mia.
Not that she hadn’t tried. Everyone had known Izzy was gay after the news had spread about Sophie, and that meant that girls began to gravitate in her direction. Izzy was pleased at first and had dated several people. But she never really found herself liking anyone that much. There was the girl who insisted that it was still possible that the earth was flat. The girl who ordered a salad and then proceeded to eat more than half of Izzy’s fries. The girl who thought it was funny to key the cars of people who were badly parked. No one was right, no one really made her stomach feel that weird feeling. Izzy started to think she was a no-hoper when it came to love.
So she’d given it up for a while. Remained single and unwilling to mingle. Gun shy as she was, there had only been one thing for it. Treat her degree like it was her girlfriend. Lavish it with attention. Give it all her consideration. Go in for the long-haul. It hadn’t been a waste of time. When an opportunity assisting a producer on a local radio news segment had come up, Izzy’s tutor had thought of her straight away and the chance was hers. She’d made an impression, leading to another internship. And another.
She was happy of the opportunities to learn and make connections, but she couldn’t keep working for free forever. She had to get some paid work soon or she was going to lose her mind. Her parents were still unhappy and still in their holding pattern. Izzy wished they just call it a day for everyone’s sake. But no, they were sticking with it. So Izzy needed to get out of the house. She needed to meet someone. That’s how she’d ended up here, at speed dating, trying. With Moon Beam. ‘What do you do?’ she asked the girl.
‘I’m like, a conceptual artist?’ Moon Beam said.
‘Oh, what kind of thing?’ Izzy asked, almost interested.
‘I, like, paint? But like, I don’t use real paint? I use, like, found objects?’
Izzy tried to push through the ‘Likes’ and statements framed as questions to understand what the hell Moon Beam meant. ‘That sounds… Interesting.’
‘Yeah, cos, like, the world is like my canvas? You know?’
‘Sure’ Izzy said, starting to check out. She couldn’t believe she’d spent half an hour on her hair for this.
Ding!
‘Lovely to meet you Moon Beam’ Izzy said, standing quickly and shuffling to her left. She sat down without a shred of hope and found herself looking at a girl with short dark hair, deep dimples and a tired expression. For a split second, she was reminded of Alicia, something in the eyes. She wasn’t quite as hot as Alicia but then again, who was? Anyway, this girl was acceptably cute. Very acceptably.
Before Izzy could say anything, the girl threw a spanner in the works. ‘OK, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can stay for this’ she said, exhausted.
Izzy was intrigued. ‘You can’t stay three minutes? Am I that much of a car crash?’
‘Don’t take it personally but I just spoke to someone for the entirety of our three minu
tes about her cats and it’s given me deep doubts about this whole thing. At one point she showed me a picture of them having a tea party and I nearly threw my drink in her face. Minky and Ploop, they were called.’
‘Minky and Ploop? Those are some godawful names’ Izzy laughed.
The girl laughed back. ‘Why have people always got to name their pets stupid things? What’s wrong with a solid human name? If I ever get a cat, I’m calling it Steve and that’s that.’
‘Steve? I don’t know, you could go a bit more classic. Reginald, maybe. Much more stately air.’
The girl smiled, wide. ‘I’m sorry, I think I’ve changed my mind.’
‘About Steve?’
‘No, about speed dating. I might just stay the other two minutes if you don’t mind.’
‘I don’t mind at all’ Izzy said, trying not to grin, sticking out her hand. ‘I’m Izzy.’
‘Mackenzie.’
‘What do you do, Mackenzie?’
‘IT. When people get porn viruses in offices, it’s my job to clean them off and not tell anyone what their kink is.’
Izzy laughed, long. It had been a while since she’d laughed like this. When the ding went two minutes later, they had to be forced to move.
Nineteen
Izzy waited in the packed restaurant, sat at the bar. Mackenzie was twenty minutes late. Izzy was now quite certain she’d been stood up.
She was shocked. She’d thought she and Mackenzie had a spark. They’d exchanged texts since that seemed to confirm that Mackenzie was on the same page. But here Izzy was, sitting alone, feeling like a prize wally.
That was it, she swore to herself. In the morning she was going to head straight to the nunnery. This dating thing was not working out, time to throw in the towel. But then again, Izzy mused, she’d probably just fall in love with some nun who’d reject her by saying something to the affect that she liked her as a friend but that she was married to Christ.
Izzy finished her diet coke, picked up her bag and slipped off the stool. She headed for the door, trying not to make eye contact. She knew everyone would know what had happened. People didn’t walk into restaurants to have one drink and leave. The situation was screaming out.
‘Oh!’ cried a voice and Izzy dared to look back up to see Mackenzie fly in, at sixes and sevens. ‘You’re still here! Thank god.’
Izzy wasn’t sure how to react. Yeah, Mackenzie had come after all. But twenty minutes late and no text? What the hell?! ‘Yeah, I’m still here. Just about’ Izzy said snippily.
‘I’m so sorry. You don’t know the day I’ve had. I was mugged.’
‘What?’ Izzy replied. She didn’t remotely believe it.
‘Yep. Two hours ago.’
Izzy narrowed her eyes. ‘OK. That’s awful. If it happened. But why are you late if this mugging occurred two hours ago?’
‘Because I went to the police to file a report for the insurance. And they took forever. I kept saying I had a date to get to but apparently, they felt an arson at an abandoned warehouse took precedence. I didn’t agree’ Mackenzie said, trying to be cute.
Izzy was having none of it. ‘That’s a good one. Because then you couldn’t text me because this mugger took your phone, right?’ Izzy deadpanned.
‘You don’t believe me’ Mackenzie said, her face falling.
‘Nope. Not even a little bit.’ She went to walk past Mackenzie, but she felt a hand on her arm.
‘Hold on a sec’ Mackenzie said, holding her in place as she slipped her other hand into her pocket. She pulled out a folded sheet of paper and handed it to Izzy.
Izzy looked at the sheet. ‘What’s this?’
‘Have a look’ Mackenzie said.
Izzy rolled her eyes but unfolded the sheet to find herself look at the carbon copy of a police report detailing Mackenzie’s mugging.
She looked at Mackenzie, aghast. ‘Oh my god. You got mugged!’
‘That’s what I said, wasn’t it?’ Mackenzie replied, taking the paper back. ‘Right, I need a drink. Are you staying?’
Izzy blushed. ‘Of course. I’m sorry. Are you alright?’
‘I’ll be better after a drink. Hint hint’ Mackenzie said with a cheeky grin. She headed to the bar. Izzy took a moment to let her colour return to normal and then followed, saying to the barman, ‘Please can you give this lady anything she wants.’
He nodded, and Mackenzie ordered whisky neat. ‘And can you give this lady anything she wants? Mackenzie asked. She turned to Izzy. ‘Well, I was late, after all’ she explained.
***
Later, they were seated. Starters were on the table.
‘I’m really very sorry’ Izzy said again.
‘You don’t need to keep saying that’ Mackenzie assured her. ‘But I have to ask, why wouldn’t you just believe me right off the bat?’
‘I don’t know’ Izzy said. ‘I probably should have, shouldn’t I?’
‘What happened to you?’ Mackenzie asked.
‘How do you mean?’ Izzy replied, confused.
‘You don’t trust people’ Mackenzie said plainly.
Izzy felt something tighten inside. Mackenzie didn’t know her. How dare she assume something like that?
But then Izzy started to ask herself, why hadn’t she believed Mackenzie? How had she gotten so jaded? It wasn’t hard to see how it had happened. She’d been done over and she’d been the doer-overer. Had she ever known a real, honest, healthy romantic relationship? No. It was a depressing thing to realise at the beginning of a date.
‘You’re right’ Izzy told Mackenzie. ‘I really don’t trust people.’
Mackenzie picked up a dough ball. ‘That’s alright. We’ve all got our things. Maybe this is where we turn it around?’ she shrugged and smiled.
‘Maybe it is’ Izzy answered shyly. God, wouldn’t it be nice if that were true? To finally let her guard down for once with someone. It was all she wanted. She’d always yearned for romance, love. But maybe what she needed before any of that was just someone she could breathe with.
‘So tell me stuff’ Izzy said, shaking off her earlier paranoia, settling into this date with Mackenzie. Just for once, she needed to take a chance and hope for the best.
‘What do you want to know?’ Mackenzie asked.
Izzy smiled. ‘Everything.’
***
The date finished that night with one kiss. Brief, sweet, nervous. Izzy didn’t try to make it into anything more. There would be time for that. There would be time for everything.
Twenty
‘Easy, easy…’ Izzy said as Mackenzie slid the cork further and further from the champagne bottle. ‘Easy!’ Izzy warned.
‘Christ sakes, it’s not a shotgun’ Mackenzie laughed and finally slid it free with a pop. The cork shot from her fingers and Izzy ducked as it flew right at her. She heard a smash and spun to see a broken window behind her. ‘Shitballs!’ Mackenzie cried.
Izzy clapped her hand to her head. ‘My dad’s gonna go ape!’ she moaned.
The man himself came flying into the kitchen a moment later. ‘What the hell?’ Scott demanded, looking at the hole where the window used to be.
‘Sorry, Dad. We were celebrating’ Izzy said thinly.
‘Yeah, sorry Mr Mortimer’ Mackenzie said. ‘It was my fault. I was just so excited for Izzy getting this job and everything.’
Scott calmed quickly. ‘Oh, don’t worry, Mackenzie’ he said ruefully. ‘Accidents happen.’
Izzy gaped at her dad. He’d never said ‘Accidents happen’ in his life. He said things like, ‘Whose bloody fault is this and how can I punish them?’ But the thing was, he liked Mackenzie. Izzy was amazed but it couldn’t be denied. She’d bought a girlfriend home for the first time in her life and it had been a stonking success with the Mortimers. The best thing about it was that it put her parents on their best behaviour. While Mackenzie was in the house, there was nary a raised word.
But that was only one perk of dating Mackenzie. The main prize w
as that Izzy liked her a lot. They’d been seeing each other for two months now and Izzy was having great fun with Mackenzie. They went to brunch, movies, plays, museums, massages, all the things that seemed reserved for those in a pair. Mackenzie was gorgeous and fun and treated Izzy like she was lucky to have her, when really it was the other way around. Mackenzie was the prize. But Izzy wasn’t about to argue the point on that. If Mackenzie thought she hung the moon, Izzy wouldn’t disabuse her of that notion. She just hoped she could keep being the woman Mackenzie believed her to be. There was something about being around her that brought out the best in Izzy Mortimer. She’d never felt smarter, funnier, sexier.
