by D. R. Grady
Rattling from the bed told Raene her mother had not died. She hurried to the mattress where her mother’s body barely made a dent on the soft surface.
Sinking onto it, she took Margina’s hand in hers. “Mother?”
Her breath caught in her throat when those beloved blue eyes fluttered open. They seared into her. “Raene.” Her name barely made a sound on the chapped lips.
Heaving lungs, and more rattling, were accompanied by what she now identified as a death rattle.
“I love you,” Raene whispered fiercely, her hand gripping her mother’s as if she held tight enough, she could prevent her parent from slipping away into the next life.
“Love you.” Margina’s words were wisps, held together by dreams and a plea.
Her blue eyes lasered Raene with more love than ever, before they shut. The death rattle rose, like a horrific crescendo, clacking out of tune and in discordant tones until her mother took a final breath that ended on a sigh.
Then the fingers gripping hers loosened and Margina’s entire body relaxed.
Raene’s own breath stalled as she choked on the welling sorrow. Tears caught and her limbs shook as denial burst through her.
Strong hands drew her away from her mother. “She is at rest now, Raene.” Ariadne’s firm grip reminded Raene that her mother would never hold her hand again. Never brush hair off her forehead or tell her she loved her.
Sobs butted against each other and she fled from the room as though all the warriors of Montequirst chased her. Her feet flew over the stones as she burst into her bedchamber to hurtle the expanse to the hidden doorway there.
Sprinting faster, lungs heaving as her heart threatened to burst, she flew on feet that barely touched the floor. The corner appeared faster than she expected and she slammed into it before correcting her course, ignoring the pain slashing up her arm to her shoulder.
When she entered the cavern, Vidar turned and it took him one second to realize what had happened.
He opened his arms.
Later, she wasn’t certain how she had gotten there, but when they closed around her, the sobs finally burst free and she collapsed against him. Weeping with all the pain inside her at the unfairness of life and losing her second parent.
Vidar said nothing. There were no words to offer. He held her tightly, not hurting her, but with the security she craved.
Soothing little noises tumbled from his throat.
A scaled head bumped her from behind and Raene reached out to clasp Aern close as well. The two warriors said nothing as she released her sorrow, pain, and fears into Vidar’s absorbent shirt.
Aching from head to foot when her tears finally dried, a curious numbness descended. A sense of peace settled over her, cloaking her in a much needed respite.
A noise from the front of the cavern, from the direction of the main part of the castle, made the three of them spin toward it.
Stefana, tears streaking her face, sprinted toward them, skirts clutched in her hands. Vidar released Raene so she could encompass her best friend in her arms. They clung together, as fresh tears deluged their faces.
They huddled close to Vidar, with him at Raene’s back, as she held tight to Stefana. “I just heard.” Stefana offered the most unladylike sniff Raene had ever heard, and it lightened her heart.
Aern pushed a box of tissues close and they both thanked him as they cleaned up their faces and blew their noses.
“You were with Margina when she died?” Vidar’s calm, rumbling voice further eased the pain still coursing through her.
“Yes.” She lifted teary eyes to his silver ones. “She told me she loved me.”
His face contorted as his arms contracted around her again. “A gift.”
Nodding, because she couldn’t speak, she plucked more tissues from the inlaid wooden chest and leaned on him, thankful for his strength and warmth. Stefana stayed close to Aern whose bulk offered additional reassurance.
“You’re now the queen.” Stefana’s eyes met hers and they both started crying again, squeezing each other.
“I just want my mother back.”
Stefana’s nod was vigorous. Vidar’s grip on her tightened. She held on to him and her best friend, needing the support of both.
“It’s best to get all of this out now,” Aern advised.
She swallowed, because thoughts of the morrow remained darker than the gleaming scales protecting the compassionate dragon.
His heart still hadn’t caught up with itself. Even after Raene stopped shivering against him. Her tears came in bouts, but she was calmer. Vidar felt the deep well of sorrow that continued to flood her.
Although they had been aware they faced this grief, it was impossible to prepare for it. One couldn’t prepare for death. Death was black and white. No gray areas. You were either alive or dead.
With Margina now gone, Raene’s life was forever changed. By the way she clung to him, she feared this. No more interaction with the woman she respected and loved. No hugs, no smiles, no advice.
As of tonight, Margina ceased to exist in their world—she had now been relegated to the realm of memories. Those would console Raene, but they wouldn’t uphold her in this time of dire need.
But he could. He possessed the strength to carry her through. If he was permitted. The rules of conduct between the monarch and the warrior who guarded her treasures had dimmed. He glanced at his companion, but guessed Aern had no better idea than he did on this changing world.
Deciding not to worry about the rules tonight, he basked in the scent of the woman who had sprinted to him.
Warmth swelled. He was alive tonight. Never before had he appreciated what being alive meant. Never before had he experienced it to this extent.
He’d been living in a gray zone for much of his life. Until this woman brought color and purpose to him. He had never lost the ability to see colors, but they’d faded, along with emotions.
While he wasn’t enjoying the deep sorrow he shared with her, he valued it. Because those grim emotions meant he lived. Through her, he experienced something he’d lost and never noticed.
Now alive, he didn’t want to return to that emotionless existence. He wanted to scoop up this woman and keep her for himself.
And therein lay madness.
His arms loosened as she stepped away. Cold swirled around him at the loss of her gentle heat. His heart flapped in protest and he barely resisted clapping his hand against his chest.
Raene laid a hand on Aern, then brushed a tear from Stefana’s face.
The princess’ blue eyes remained overly bright from unshed tears, but Raene settled in the chair he provided. Aern seated Stefana in a second chair, while Vidar dropped into the third.
Aern produced a tea tray and the two women both appeared to appreciate it. Raene poured the tea and handed the sweet brew to each of them. Her hand shook as she raised the delicate teacup. The beverage never made it her lips. She lowered the cup back to the saucer, where it made a small tinkling sound.
“You’ve lost a lot of fluids, drink up,” Aern encouraged.
Stefana managed to take a sip, but Raene’s hand trembled. Vidar laid his over hers and assisted her with taking a sip.
With his help, Raene drank two cups of the tea. Then the emotional storm left behind a blessed weariness. Her eyelids stole down and he whisked her out of her chair and into his lap. She snuggled against him as though this was an everyday occurrence.
His very essence swelled and then sang a little tune. Blinking, he stared into the sleepy face of the woman in his lap and his arms tightened.
Stefana’s teacup clinked a final time as she set it back on the saucer before she stood. “You’ll see that Raene returns to her bed?”
She spoke to him and Vidar nodded, because his throat tightened.
“Thank you.” She laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before offering Aern a hug. Then she padded from the cavern into the tunnel beyond. Aern tracked her progress on the monitors, to m
ake certain she returned safely to her own bedchamber.
When his friend relaxed, Vidar once again savored the feeling of the woman in his arms.
How he wished . . .
But Aasguard warriors weren’t permitted to dream. Their lives consisted of serving others. The lucky ones paired with a dragon for company but they didn’t marry. Didn’t take a spouse to see them through the long, lonely years. It wasn’t done.
His heart rolled over in defeat.
“She needs to be returned to her bed.” Aern nudged him.
Vidar settled the sleeping princess, no queen, in his arms. He stood. She lay curled against him as though she belonged.
“I can’t,” he whispered, his voice strangling in his too tight throat.
“Yes, you can.” Aern’s glowing eyes swirled with all the colors of green. His power encased the room, and especially Vidar and Raene. “You will do what must be done, because that is what you’ve always done.”
Vidar carried Raene out of the cavern he’d called home since before her birth. Down the passage to her bed. Further and further away from where he wished to go.
His stomach muscles tightened to the point of pain. This wasn’t the way of the Aasguard warrior.
A mate wasn’t his lot.
Each step grew heavier and heavier until he stood outside the door of her bedchamber.
To enter and rest her on her bed was the right thing to do.
His arms clenched, drawing her tighter against him.
But . . .
Chapter 15
Sunlight streamed across her face when Raene opened her eyes. She was ensconced in her bed. Sitting up in dismay, her heart thudded until Vidar’s scent circled her and settled her near frantic flight. Glancing around the room, she noted he wasn’t here. But his scent lingered. He had been here with her.
A vague memory swirled of him holding her hand after he laid her on the bed. Emotional exhaustion had kept her from awaking fully, but she remembered clinging to his hand, and him settling beside her, watching over her until he left.
Now as the sunlight dappled the wall beside her, her heart sank, despite Vidar’s reassuring scent. The memory of why he’d been with her last evening toppled her thoughts and emotions into a cauldron of chaos. Sorrow, panic, and fear all grappled with each other for preeminence.
Her maid knocked on the door and entered. Anneke stood uncertainly by the bed. “I heard. . .” Then she swallowed loudly in the roaring quiet.
“Yes, my mother passed away last night.”
A choked noise escaped as Anneke clapped a hand over her mouth. Raene shimmied to the side so Anneke could drop onto the edge while she contained her emotions.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It was a difficult night.” Until she escaped to Vidar and Aern. But Raene didn’t voice that.
“What happens now?”
“I don’t know.” Raene fluffed her hair off her face, and tossed it over her shoulder. The ends bounced on the mattress.
“No one has mentioned this to you?” Anneke sounded horrified.
“No. I’m not certain I would have been of the mind to listen anyway.”
Another knock at the door sent Anneke across the room to open it. Stella and Stefana entered the chamber.
“Raene, I’m so sorry to hear of your mother.” Indeed, tear streaks lined Stella’s face and Raene launched into her arms. They had a nice cry together, with Stefana entering their little huddle.
Once they composed themselves, Anneke helped her dress, at Stella’s direction.
“You know what we’re to do?” Raene gnawed her lower lip.
“Of course. I assisted when Margina was named queen.” Stella handed her a stocking. “She didn’t know what to expect either. It’s fitting that I be with her daughter.” Stella’s throat worked. She blinked rapidly, and Raene understood.
“I don’t want this to be the end.”
“It’s the end of your mother’s life and reign. Today is also the first day of your reign. Therefore we will meet this head-on.”
“What does that mean?” she whispered to Stefana when Stella turned away to say something to Anneke.
“I don’t know.” Stefana shrugged, and her lack of concern helped somehow.
After dressing in one of her most elaborate gowns, one she would have never worn in the morning like this, Raene reached for Driies.
“You can’t wear a sword.” Scandalous notes intertwined Stella’s protest.
Raene didn’t falter in donning the sheath. It felt familiar and this tight waisted gown actually worked well with the sword case. She patted Driies while she looked Stella in the eyes.
“There is unrest all around us. Until such a time as we know we are safe, I shall wear my weapon.”
Stella matched her stare for stare for several heartbeats, and despite her mouth firming, the older woman did relent.
“I didn’t believe you were going to win that one.” Stefana admitted when Stella’s back was turned.
There had been no question in Raene’s mind. She couldn’t face what lay beyond this room without her sword’s solid presence. Its addition seemed to bring with it the strength of her mighty ancestress, Bronwyn.
Raene firmed her spine and squared her shoulders when the time came to leave the chamber. Vidar’s faint scent continued to circulate through the room and it bolstered her confidence.
Today would determine her fate. The choices made this day would also determine the outcome of the people of Montequirst.
She couldn’t mess this up. It was far too important.
Her heart slammed against her ribcage as though it wanted out. Raene concurred.
Upon leaving her bedroom, black flags greeted her. They hung crisp and dark against the intricate woodwork dotting the hallway.
The number of mourning signs grew as they progressed down halls and into the main rotunda of the castle. Here whole tapestries hung in testament to the sorrow of the night. Her heart continued to pound, beating in her ears, so Raene barely heard the murmured remarks and greetings of the staff.
These visible signs increased her urge to race back to her bed and squeeze under it. To flee from her circumstances and hide away.
No one should have to go through the day as though they hadn’t just lost a parent. The last time she faced this, her mother was still with her and had shown her what to do. Now she was alone in the world.
Until Haines, the Duke of Lockwillow, stepped through a door and engulfed her in his tight embrace. She returned the much needed hug, and they wiped tears from the other’s eyes. “You’ve had a difficult night.”
“Yes. Now I have no idea what I’m to do.” She whispered this admission to him.
“Of course you do not. That is one of the reasons why I am here.” He escorted her, Stefana, and Stella to the private dining room she and Stefana had been using. Henry was already there, and he greeted them. Breakfast was a private affair, fortunately, with only the five of them. She couldn’t have endured the formal dining hall.
Haines seated her while Henry seated his wife and daughter. Then they all drank from the steaming mugs in front of them. Raene hadn’t realized how much she needed the stimulant as she took another bracing sip. Then breakfast was served and she ate what little she could manage.
“Today we will mourn your mother. But we must also formally acknowledge you as the queen.”
“It’s too soon.”
“I agree. However, it is a necessity. The sooner you are named the queen, the less likelihood of disruptions.” Haines added jam to his toast, but set the bread down.
“We believe there are factions who intend to...question your ability to lead.” Henry stirred his porridge.
“This happens every time there is a change in monarch. However, we’re hearing more and more rumors, so it’s best to impose this immediately.” Haines shared a look with Henry, before both focused on her.
“I don’t want to be queen.”
Haines grim
aced. “No, but you are the next in line to rule. It is your duty and your honor.” He set his spoon aside. “You have been trained to be the queen since the cradle, Raene.”
She couldn’t dispute this. Her pending reign was simply happening too soon. “I would far rather there be an appropriate time of mourning before this occurs.”
“Of course you do. It would be everyone’s preference. However, if we do this, informally if you will, today, then we can offer a far more formal ceremony in the future.”
Henry leaned forward. “We are hoping if we announce the formal ceremony, we can postpone your need to name a husband today.”
Her heart skipped. “So I won’t need to do so today?”
“Hopefully not.” Henry held up a hand. “Please be aware we aren’t certain of this.”
Haines’ mouth turned grim. “It’s barbaric that you must name one so soon. Your mother was given a year.”
“I want a year.” Whining was fruitless but it made her feel better.
“We hope to buy you a month, on the outside, but it might not work.” Haines’ eyes met hers.
Even though her heart dropped, she nodded. “I appreciate your efforts.”
“What happens today?” Stefana radiated the same amount of tension racking Raene.
“The nation is waiting to say goodbye to their former queen. She will need to be buried with her mothers.” Haines stirred his coffee, but he didn’t drink any of it. “Then they’ll wish to see their new queen.”
Silence engulfed the room.
Raene needed time to say goodbye. But that wasn’t the practice of royalty. At least not here. She would need to formally accept the duties her mother oversaw.
Her eyes met Stefana’s. Understanding gleamed there, as her friend was well aware she would be appointed the princess’s duties. At least until Raene produced a child. Whichever gender her child was, would become the crown princess or prince.
Since Bronwyn, the first child had always been a girl.
Raene shoved her plate away, after barely touching the contents. Her companions seemed of equal mind. They rose with her, and the five of them silently left the breakfast room.
