“I’ll try to make it up there in the next couple of weeks, okay?”
She gave her mom a few more pleasantries before hanging up with a huff. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, my stomach clenching at the look on her face. It seemed lost, or lonely, or maybe just hollow. Whatever it was, I wanted to erase it.
I cleared my throat. “Wanna talk about it?”
She sighed. “Not really.”
I pressed my lips together to keep the words from falling out. From pushing her when I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. Instead, I just said, “Okay. I’m here when you feel like talking.”
She reached out and squeezed my forearm once. “I know, Rem. Thanks.”
***
“Can you quit pacing? You’re making me dizzy.”
I pulled out my phone to check the time again. “They’re late.” It was the Sunday Ryder promised to stop by Gramps’, and with each minute that passed, I worried more that he wouldn’t show.
Belle snorted and I turned to her. “I’m sure it’s Bailey’s fault. That girl is incapable of being on time to anything. Besides, it’s only ten minutes. I’m sure they’re on their way.”
I blew out a deep breath and started to pace again. “What if he doesn’t come?”
“He’ll come. You know Ryder. He’s a pain in the ass, but he always keeps his word.”
She was right. My younger brother was a lot of things, but a liar wasn’t one of them. I ran a hand through my hair and stopped by the front windows to check the still-empty street. When I turned away to start pacing again, I heard the rumble of a truck turning onto the street and whipped back around again. Ryder’s black pick-up roared into view and I released a sigh of relief.
“That’s them.”
“Told you.”
I ignored her and walked to the front door to open it for them. Ryder looked reluctant as he made his way up the front path, Bailey’s hand gripped in his.
“Hey, Ry. I’m glad you came.”
Ryder shrugged. “I said I would.”
I turned to Bailey and gave her a small smile as I ushered them inside. “Gramps is in the living room.”
“He still got that old-ass chair of his?”
I chuckled. “Of course. Sometimes I think he loves that thing more than us.”
Ryder laughed too but it was short and strained and I knew he didn’t really mean it. I also knew how much this was costing him and appreciated my brother more than ever.
We walked through Gramps’ house, Belle falling in line behind us. When we made it to the living room, the old man’s eyes were fixed on the TV as usual. I gave Ryder a nudge from behind and he let out a deep breath before stepping through the doorway.
Gramps looked up, his eyes widening when he caught sight of Ryder. “Hey there, Son,” he called as he struggled to stand from his recliner.
Ryder’s hands reached out as if to help him, but he pulled them back just as quickly “Hey, Gramps. How ya doin’?”
“I’m old, but I can’t complain.”
“Can’t remember a time when you weren’t old.”
Gramps’ lips twitched as he narrowed his eyes. “Still a smart ass, I see. Good to know some things never change.”
Ryder laughed softly before crossing the distance between them. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Gramps’ shoulders. The old man’s eyes widened again for a second before he embraced him as well. They slapped each other’s backs briefly before pulling apart and I knew things were going to be okay.
And that we’d seen enough.
I grabbed Bailey and Belle by their elbows and tugged them backward with me. “Come on, girls. Let’s give them some privacy.”
The three of us retreated to the kitchen and I enlisted their help with cooking dinner. Gramps and Ryder spent a long time in there alone, but when they finally resurfaced, I could tell a weight had been lifted from both their shoulders.
That day, I got a piece of my family back and I’d never been more grateful.
Chapter 33
Belle
“This is great, Belle. Just like old times.”
I caught Bailey’s eye in the mirror of my vanity and smiled. “Yeah, they’re only old times because one of us decided to get herself wifed up.”
Bailey arched a blonde brow. “Oh? So, I’m the only one of us in a relationship?”
I pursed my lips and looked away. “Yep.”
She sighed and turned to me. “Belle, we both know that’s not true. I see the way you two are at Gramps’. There’s no hiding it.”
I looked down at the eyeshadow pallet in front of me and cursed my best friend in my head.
Ever since Ryder and Gramps reconciled a couple weeks ago, he and Bailey had been coming to dinner there every Sunday. It’d been really nice getting all of us together and I could see how happy it made Gramps, but it also put me and Remy under a microscope. Which made all the cracks in our story much easier to see.
“There’s nothing between me and Remy. We’re just friends.”
Bailey snorted. “So, you never wind up in his bed?”
My belly flipped. “Nope. I sleep in my bed every night.”
“That’s because you haven’t slept a whole night with a guy in your life. What happens before you get to your bed?”
I shot her a glare through the mirror, but she just smiled at me. “Okay, so we’re also having sex. Is it really that big of a deal?”
She nodded slowly like I was an idiot. Maybe she wasn’t wrong. “Yes. It’s a huge deal, Belle. You can’t tell me you don’t have feelings for him. I won’t believe you.”
I shrugged and dipped my make-up brush into a smoky brown color before bringing it to my eyelid. “He’s my friend. Of course I have feelings for him. Just like I have feelings for you even though you’re a pain in my ass.”
She chuckled, but I knew that little quip wouldn’t deter her. When Bailey was onto something like this, she was like a dog with a bone. You’d have to pry it from her mouth or she’d never let go.
“I think you two are a lot more than friends and you just don’t want to admit it.”
I sighed and picked up my glass of white wine, downing the rest of the contents in one gulp. “You’re wrong.”
She huffed next to me and picked up a tube of mascara. “He won’t wait forever for you to get your head out of your ass and see what you’ve got right in front of you.”
I filled up my glass with the bottle we’d brought into my room and took my time with another long sip before answering. “I’m not asking him to wait for me. I’m not asking him for anything.”
She sighed and took a sip from her own glass. I could still feel her hazel eyes locked on me, despite my effort to ignore them.
The worst part about this conversation was that I knew she was right. Every word out of her mouth was like it came straight from the darkest corners of my mind and all the fears that lay there.
I knew Remy was going to push for more one day. I knew there’d come a time when he’d get sick of the scraps I was leaving him and want more. But I also knew I couldn’t give him what he wanted. That I wasn’t capable of losing myself in this relationship like I was supposed to. That I couldn’t let myself fall into whatever this was between us.
Worst of all, I knew when he realized I’d never come around, he’d leave.
I took another long sip of wine and tried to get those thoughts out of my head. Or at least out of the foreground. There was no erasing them completely, of course. They were my constant companions.
“I just hope you know what you’re doing, Belle. I think Remy’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you and I’d hate for you to lose him just because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” I lied.
She shook her head, her blond waves rustling around her shoulders. “Okay, Belle. If you say so.”
To my relief, the conversation was dropped after that, but it didn’t mean her words weren’t reverberating throu
gh my head. There was no getting rid of them, no matter how hard I tried.
That didn’t matter though. Tonight, I was determined to set the issues between Remy and me aside and focus on Bailey and Ryder. We were going out for their bachelor/bachelorette party and I wanted everything to be perfect for them.
We finished our make-up and slipped into the dresses we’d picked out for the night. Bailey was in all white, the top half covered in sequins and the bottom flowing around her knees. I’d opted for a tighter dress with thin straps that crisscrossed over my back. It was a deep red color and only made it halfway down my thighs, which made my legs look longer. At five-two I needed all the help I could get in that department.
Just as I was slipping on a pair of shoes I knew I’d regret by the end of the night, there was a knock on the door. My heart sank a little when there wasn’t the incessant barking I’d grown accustomed to.
About a week ago, Bailey finally got assigned a regular schedule at work and she’d brought Charlotte up there to live with her and Ryder. I was still adjusting to not having my feisty little friend around.
My heels tapped across the hardwood floor on my way to open the door for who I was assuming was Ryder and Remy. The former was the first through the doorway, his eyes already glancing over my shoulder, looking for his fiancée.
When he didn’t find her immediately, he looked back at me and gave me a half smile and a small kiss on the cheek. “You look great, Belle.”
“Thanks, Ry.”
He nodded and looked over my shoulder again, his eyes going wide. “Holy shit, Sunshine.”
Ryder stepped around me, gravitating towards Bailey like she was a planet and he was her moon. When he dipped his head to whisper something in her ear I was sure I didn’t want to hear, I turned around and found Remy in the doorway.
He was in dark jeans and another black t-shirt, but this one was designed to look like a tuxedo. The material was snug across his broad chest and thick biceps and I struggled to keep my eyes on his and not his body. But, damn.
“Hey, beautiful.”
I shot him a warning glare and turned to make sure Bailey and Ryder were still wrapped up in each other. When I turned back around, he had a rueful smile on his face. “Don’t worry, they didn’t hear me. Although I wouldn’t care if they had.”
“Well, I would,” I hissed.
He sighed and shook his head, but his dark gaze was still traveling along the length of my body. “You look amazing,” he said, his voice quiet and somehow more poignant that way.
My cheeks heated as I looked down at my pedicured toes. “Thanks, Rem. You look good too.”
I saw his hands twitch in my direction before he dropped them to his sides again and sighed. “We ready to go?”
I looked up and found his expression bland, but knowing him as well as I did, I could tell there was more beneath the surface. My belly clenched as Bailey’s words ran through my head again.
I think Remy’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you and I’d hate for you to lose him just because you’re scared.
I shook my head and walked back into the kitchen. Tonight was not the night to delve into what was or wasn’t between Remy and me. I’d deal with all that tomorrow. Or maybe next week. Next month if I was lucky.
“If you two are done sucking face, maybe we can get going. The rest of them should already be there waiting for us.”
Ryder looked up at me with a crooked grin and I knew I was going to hate what came out of his mouth next. “You’re welcome to suck Remy’s face while you wait.”
My cheeks heated again as I narrowed my eyes at him. “Some of us know how to keep it in our pants, MacAlister.”
His grin widened. “Maybe if it wasn’t locked up so tightly in your pants, you wouldn’t be so irritable.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Maybe if you weren’t so annoying, I wouldn’t be so irritable.”
He opened his mouth to retort when Bailey held up a hand to interrupt. “Okay, that’s enough out of both of you.”
Ryder pulled Bailey close, a pathetic look on his face. “But she started it.”
If I didn’t already know how in love Bailey was with that idiot, there was no mistaking it when she only smiled and rolled her eyes at his childish antics. “And I’m finishing it.”
My phone chimed, and I swiped at my screen to find our Uber was here. Thank fuck.
“Uber’s out front, let’s go.”
I let everyone leave before me and locked the door behind us. Walking carefully over the uneven ground, I made it to the Uber to find the only remaining seat next to Remy in the back. I smoothed my dress down my legs and slid into the back of the car.
As soon as we pulled away from the curb, Ryder struck up a conversation with our driver, Bailey frequently chiming in. My mind was too focused on trying to ignore all the places Remy’s warm body touched mine to pay attention to what they were talking about.
He leaned closer, bringing a more concentrated whiff of his cologne with him. “You really do look stunning, Belle. I love you in red.” He reached out a single finger to trace the hemline of my dress and I just barely suppressed a shudder.
“Thanks. I like you in t-shirts too.” I almost winced at the stupidity that just slipped past my lips.
He chuckled quietly. “T-shirts, huh? How come?”
I shrugged and tried to put a couple extra inches between us in the hopes I’d be able to think straight. It wasn’t working.
“You’re always dressed up. I’ve only seen you in t-shirts twice and I like it. You seem more human this way.”
His smile only widened. “I’ll have to remember that.”
Please don’t.
Thankfully, the ride was short, and when we made it to our first stop, the rest of our party was already waiting outside. Bailey and Ryder hadn’t wanted to do anything too big or extravagant, so we only invited some of Ryder’s closest friends from work and the farm, along with Bailey’s bridesmaids that were mostly cousins interspersed with a few colleagues. I didn’t know most of them, but I figured I would by the end of the night.
Bailey walked up to me and linked her arm with mine. “So, this shindig is at a hookah lounge?”
We’d kept the details a secret from the couple, so they had no idea what was in store for them.
I shook my head. “This is just the first stop.”
“How many stops are there?”
I shrugged. “Only like five?”
Bailey’s eyes widened. “We’re going to five places?”
“Well, you wouldn’t let me book a strip club, so I thought a bar crawl was the next best thing I could do in Providence.” I scanned her face, worry starting to set in. “Is that okay? We can do something else if you want.”
Bailey’s smile was wide when she turned to me again. “No, this is great! I love it.”
I released a small breath of relief as Ryder walked up and Bailey explained to him what we were doing. When we were sure our whole party was present, we headed inside and over to the table they’d reserved for us.
I’d called ahead to each place we’d be going to and made sure they not only saved us a booth, but that they decorated for the occasion. This stop had a banner above our table that read Soon To Be Mr. & Mrs. and party favors scattered around the space.
I hurried over and grabbed their sashes that read Bride and Groom and slung them over their heads. Ryder didn’t look too happy at first, but when he saw Bailey’s eyes light up, it seemed he resigned himself to his fate.
We sat down and ordered a couple hookahs to share along with our first round of drinks, of which I was sure there’d be plenty. About an hour later, I rounded everyone up to head to the next bar which was thankfully only a couple doors down. On our way there, I’d somehow got pushed to the back of the pack and that was where Remy found me.
“Think they’re having a good time?”
I glanced at him but kept it brief. The longer I looked, the more I found to
admire, and I needed to keep a clear head. “Seems like it.”
He was quiet for a moment, but I could feel his eyes on me as I struggled to catch up to our party and break the moment between us.
“You know, I’m a pretty confident guy, Belle, so I try not to let the little shit get to me, but it seems like you’re avoiding me tonight.”
I shot him another glance and a strained smile. “I’m not avoiding you,” I lied. “I’m just trying to focus on Ryder and Bailey.”
“Seems like they’re doing just fine.”
“Well then, let’s make sure we keep it that way.”
I picked up the pace, but before I could get far, Remy grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. He leaned in close until only I could make out his husky words. “I know you don’t want to make what we have public, but I don’t like feeling like I’m not even your friend, Belle. You’re giving me a complex here.”
I rolled my eyes, my lips curling with a smile. “Of course you’re my friend, Remy.”
He leaned in closer, his lips grazing my ear and making me shiver. “I hope I’m more than that.”
I glanced around to make sure no one else could hear him, but thankfully there wasn’t anyone close by. “Remy,” I warned.
He wrapped a hand around my hip and pulled me closer. “I don’t need a label, beautiful. Just tell me I’m something more and I’ll be happy.”
I leaned away until I could see his chocolate eyes looking down at me. My heart pounded in my throat as I tried to form the words. Finally, I sighed, my shoulders sagging with the weight I’d just shucked off them. “You’re something more, Rem. You know you are.”
His smile was so wide, it made my heart falter. He leaned in and kissed me briefly on the cheek before pulling away completely. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
I rolled my eyes again and shook my head. “Well, glad we got that out of the way. Now keep your hands to yourself the rest of the night.”
He held them both up in surrender. “I’ll do my best.”
With that, I sped ahead and caught up to our party that had just made their way into the second bar. This one was much more crowded, but a table was still reserved for us, complete with more favors and, this time, a crown and a tiara for the couple.
Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2) Page 29
