Was it that floozy bridesmaid? The one who was practically draped across him like a fucking blanket? It had to be.
After my conversation with Remy on the dance floor, I’d ran outside like the place was on fire. My mind had gone completely blank at his confession while my heart raced faster than it ever had before.
He’d said he loved me.
Not liked. Not tolerated. Fucking loved.
What the hell was I supposed to do with that? How was I supposed to respond? What was I supposed to feel when the one guy in the world I couldn’t shake admitted that his feelings ran as deep as that?
Fear was the first emotion that surfaced, and I’d gone with that. It was safer than any other thing I could have possibly felt at that moment.
But once I’d gotten outside, my gut twisted with guilt and I knew I’d done the wrong thing. Remy had laid his heart bare for me and I’d walked away. I’d felt sick with myself and knew I needed to talk to him again. I needed to see him, to look in his eyes and make sure he didn’t hate me. Beyond that, I had no idea what I was going to do.
Telling him I loved him too was completely out of the question. I’d never loved someone besides my friends and family. I didn’t even know if I could love someone like that. But despite my reservations, there was a small, but persistent voice in the back of my head that yelled over and over again that if there was someone I could love, it’d be Remy MacAlister.
I’d gone back in the venue, hoping to smooth things over with him when I found her practically glued to him like a koala in a eucalyptus tree. My heart stopped the second my eyes landed on them. My blood ran cold and my stomach dropped to the soles of my feet as I watched him lean close and speak in her ear.
When he’d looked back up and met my eyes, all I’d seen in his chocolate gaze was acceptance. Like he’d been expecting to see me there. Like he wasn’t surprised at all. Somehow that reaction had been worse than any other he could have given me, and I’d spent the rest of the reception in the bathroom.
I’d spent the whole time reminding the stupid tears gathering in my eyes that this was what I wanted. That I’d broken things off with him. That I’d told him I couldn’t love him. The fact that he’d moved onto someone else so quickly didn’t mean anything. He didn’t mean anything.
I’d laid awake that whole night, listening for him to come home, but he never did. I’d tried not to let my imagination run wild, but there was no stopping it. And worse, there wasn’t anyone to blame but myself.
“Belle?”
I looked up at Sonia again and realized I’d been ignoring her while these thoughts raced through my mind. I shook my head. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
She frowned. “I just said Nick is here to talk about the next installation. Did you want me to send him back?”
My shoulders slumped as I realized a tiny part of me had been hoping she’d come to tell me Remy was in the gallery waiting to have lunch with me. But that was fucking stupid, so I shoved it in the drawer with all my other bullshit fantasies. “You can send him back. Thanks, Sonia.”
Her face still looked worried, but she nodded and disappeared from my doorway. I took a deep breath and rested my head in my hands.
Truthfully, I should have just taken the day off. I was in no condition to be productive and I was just wasting everyone’s time. But I knew if I stayed home, I’d be more likely to run into Remy, and despite what my heart wanted, the rest of me was dead set on avoiding him. Preferably forever.
Thankfully, that hadn’t been too hard since he hadn’t come home in two nights. If he was with that bridesmaid, they must be having a whole fuck ton of fun. Not that I cared.
A knock on my doorframe broke me out of my thoughts again. I looked up to find Nick with a smile on his face. “Hey, Belle. You ready to talk about next week’s installation?”
I held back a sigh and nodded. “Sure. Come have a seat and I’ll show you what I have in mind.”
He walked around my desk and took a seat in the chair Remy always occupied. I stared at Nick for longer than was necessary, remembering all the times Remy sat there keeping me company during my lunch hour. Had it really only been a few days since things were that simple between us?
I shook my head again and pulled up the plans I’d been working on for the next installation. I tried my best, but despite that, only half of my brain was focused on work. The other half continued to obsess about where Remy had been sleeping the past two nights and when I’d see him again. If I’d see him again. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t care, but I did. Desperately.
“I think that seems pretty straightforward,” Nick said as he stood up and stretched next to me. It was probably just to get my attention, but with all I had going through my head at that point, he’d have to try a hell of a lot harder than that.
I printed out the floor plan we’d decided on and logged out of my computer. Once I handed the papers to him, I stood too. “Glad to hear it. I’ll see you in a couple days when you come in to work on it.”
I turned away from him to tidy my desk, but I could still feel his presence behind me. Ignoring him, I kept straightening papers and shoving things in drawers, ready for this day to be over.
“Hey, you look like you could use a drink. Let me buy you one.”
I closed my eyes for a moment as I took a deep breath. “No thanks, Nick.”
He huffed behind me. “Why not? It’s just a drink.”
I shot him a look over my shoulder. “I told you, I don’t date people I work with.”
“And I’ve told you we don’t work together.”
I turned back around and gathered my purse, hoping he’d take the hint and just go. But I wasn’t that lucky.
“Is this because of that asshole in the monkey suit?”
My shoulders tensed as I spun slowly to face him. “What?”
“That dickhead who’s always in here bothering you. Is that why you won’t get a drink with me? Are you two dating or something?”
He said it like it was a bad thing. A disgusting thing. At one point I would have thought it was a bad thing too, but now my stomach twisted for a different reason. Not because of his insinuation that I was dating Remy, but because that was an impossibility now.
“No. I’m not dating him,” I said softly, the words burning on their way out.
Nick smiled wide. “Great. Then you have no reason to not get a drink with me tonight.”
I turned back around, shaking my head while I switched my computer off and let my thoughts run wild. Really, what was I racing toward? Going home to an empty apartment? With no Charlotte and no Remy, it would just be me and my dark thoughts to keep me company.
Even if Remy was there, what would that mean? Would we talk? Would we ignore each other like we had been for the past couple of days? Would it be awkward? Would it be awful?
None of that sounded appealing, and suddenly, going home was the very last thing I wanted to do.
I turned around again. “You know what? Let’s get a drink.”
Nick’s eye’s rounded. “Really?”
That tiny voice that I really should listen to more often, but usually drowned out, was yelling hell no, but I ignored it as usual. “Yeah, sure.”
He clapped once, his smile widening across his face. “Great! I can drive us there.”
I was reluctant to accept a ride from him, but I shoved that thought aside. I normally took Uber’s everywhere I went, never relying on a date to get me anywhere, but this wasn’t a date. Nick was a colleague I was getting a drink with after work. Besides, we were both here already. It would be stupid to watch him drive off and pay an Uber to take me to the exact same place.
I forced a smile on my face. “Okay, sounds good.”
Nick headed out of my office and I followed behind him, turning off lights and closing doors as I went. Sonia had already left for the night, so I locked up behind us and followed Nick to his SUV.
Despite all the reasons I shouldn’t, my mind couldn’t
help but make comparisons between him and Remy at every turn.
First of all, Nick was a talker, but didn’t seem too concerned with getting any feedback. It looked like he was perfectly content to hear his own voice without any input from me.
Remy was never like that. He always listened as much as he talked. He wanted to hear what I had to say. Get my opinion on things. Even though we disagreed about pretty much everything there was to disagree on, he still wanted my point of view.
Next was Nick’s vehicle. It as old, which was fine. I wasn’t raised with a silver spoon in my mouth and I’d had my fair share of clunkers in the past before I was banned from driving, but I always kept them in good condition. I couldn’t say the same for Nick.
Before I could even get in on the passenger side, he had to brush a mountain of debris off the seat. There were fast food wrappers, empty cans of soda, receipts and who knew what else that he just tossed onto the floor. A floor that was already covered in similar garbage.
I forced another smile on my face as I found places to step that hopefully wasn’t on anything important and took a seat, desperately wishing I was in Remy’s clean car instead of this pile of trash.
The next difference, of course, was the music. Nick apparently, was a big fan of heavy metal. The kind where you couldn’t even make out words or melodies. I tried not to judge someone for their personal tastes, but I didn’t want to listen to something I couldn’t sing along to. I just didn’t see the point. That was something Remy and I had in common too.
As Nick drove us through Providence rush hour traffic, I looked out my window and wished again that I was with Remy in his car. Where I could argue with him about his music and take control of the radio like I always did. In fact, I think he kind of enjoyed when I was extra opinionated, as weird as that sounded.
Thankfully, the ride was short, and soon Nick was parking on the street near a cluster of bars and restaurants. I carefully climbed out of his SUV, careful not to drag any of its contents with me. When Nick made it around to my side, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered me toward one of the many pubs. I ducked out of his hold, ignoring the irritated look on his face.
Nick requested a booth for us, raising another small red flag. I’d have much preferred to sit with him out in the open, but it didn’t seem like something I should make a big deal out of. We were in public, what could really happen?
A waitress stopped by shortly after we were seated, and we ordered drinks with her. When she was gone, Nick launched into another story about himself as I waited for the waitress to come back. Eventually, I mastered the art of tuning him out while successfully pretending to give a shit, but around my third drink, he said something that finally caught my attention.
“You know, I really thought you were dating that douche bag for a while there. Glad that’s not the case.”
My fingers clenched around my damp glass. It was one thing for him to mindlessly chatter on about himself or whatever he’d been talking about this whole time, it was another for him to insult Remy. He didn’t even know the guy. He had no clue how amazing of a person he was, how selfless, how funny and kind he could be. And hearing Nick talk bad about him instantly had my hackles up. “How is that any of your business?”
He shrugged and draped an arm over the back of the seat. “I saw you first. If any asshole’s gonna have a shot with you, it should be me.”
I grit my teeth and counted to ten before I responded. If I went with my first reaction, I was afraid it would begin with me throwing my drink in his face and end with me letting loose a string of colorful language. “Nick, let’s get something straight here. Neither you nor anyone else has a say in who I do or don’t date. There is no line, there is no waiting room. I do what I want with who I want.”
He rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his beer. “Yeah, yeah. You’re still here with me and I don’t see that dickhead anywhere, so it looks like I won.”
My jaw was aching from how hard I was grinding my teeth.
This had been a huge fucking mistake. I should have trusted my first instinct and never gone out with this loser. He was everything I despised in a man and I’d given him the last two hours of my life. That ended now.
I scooted to the end of the booth and stood up. Leaning over the table, I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. “Remy is a hundred times the man you are. You can’t hold a fucking candle to him on your best day. I knew it was a mistake to come out with you and all you’ve done is prove me right. I’m leaving now, and when I get in to work tomorrow, I’ll be calling your headquarters and requesting they send someone else. Anyone else besides you.”
With that, I turned around and stormed out of the bar, my phone already in my hand and the Uber app pulled up. I needed to get the hell out of here. Thankfully, there was a driver only a couple minutes away.
I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot while I waited for my car to arrive. When I got home, I was taking the hottest shower I’d ever had and then I was probably going to swallow my pride and call Remy. I owed him an apology, and if everything else was ruined between us, maybe I could at least salvage our friendship.
My phone beeped, and when I swiped at the screen, I found my Uber had cancelled the ride. With a shake of my head, I tapped a few buttons to order a new one, but before I could confirm it, I was grabbed roughly by the arm and spun around.
“Hey! What the hell?!”
I caught a glimpse of Nick’s furious eyes before he turned me around again and wrapped his arm around my neck from behind.
“You think you can just talk to me any way you want?” he growled in my ear, squeezing my neck tighter. “You think you can just prance around in your tight fucking skirts and taunt men like me and there’re no repercussions?”
I struggled to squirm out of his hold, but he was so much bigger than me, I had no shot. “HEL–”
My scream was cut off abruptly by Nick’s beefy hand over my mouth. Dread raced through my veins like ice water as he backed us into an alley next to the bar and tucked us into a dark corner.
“You think you’re gonna call my boss and get me reassigned because you’re an uptight little bitch? That’s not gonna fucking happen.”
I bucked and kicked and scratched at his arm, but nothing I did made any difference. He held me with ease as one of his hands wrapped around my waist, squeezing painfully.
His arm tightened around my neck again, making it more difficult to breathe. My mind went completely blank for a few seconds as fear took over. With a flash of intuition, I remembered I still had my phone in my hand. I held it up and began dialing 9-1-1 when he knocked it out of my grip. My cell went crashing to the ground where I heard it shatter.
“Nice try, bitch.”
His hand around my waist loosened before it began sliding up my body. He yanked at my blouse, and with a series of pops, the front ripped open. I watched as little white buttons went flying everywhere and my heart leapt into my throat.
“Now, you’re gonna pay me back for those drinks I just bought you and maybe a little more on top of that. I think I deserve extra for putting up with your shit for all these months.”
It was then that I realized exactly what he planned to do. I’m not sure why it took me so long, but I guess it was so unbelievable, my mind hadn’t wanted to go there. Nick was about to take something from me that I would never willingly give him.
And that was when I lost my shit.
With nothing left to lose, I began flailing in his arms. Every limb hit and kicked at him, sometimes connecting with his body, sometimes hitting nothing but air, but I didn’t stop. I barely had any oxygen left, but I bucked backward and my head slammed into his face, making him curse loudly in my ear and relax his hold a fraction of an inch.
Seeing an opening, I used my three-inch heel to stomp on the middle of his foot as hard as I could. His arms around me slipped again, and this time it was enough for me to break free. I turned around and kneed him be
tween the legs as hard as I could before stepping back and watching him crumple to the floor as I took deep, ragged breaths.
I only stood there for a moment though, knowing that wouldn’t keep him down for good. I spun around and scooped my wrecked phone off the pavement before running out of the alley and back into the bar we’d just left. Clutching my ripped shirt to my chest, I made my way to the bartender and got her attention.
She must have seen something in my face because she rushed over, concern clouding her gray eyes. “Hey, hun. Are you all right?”
My whole body was shaking now, deep tremors that rocked me to my core. I swallowed harshly and gave her a nod, knowing that if I said any more about my condition right now, I’d lose it in front of all these people. I did have a request though.
“Could I use your phone please?” I asked, my voice raspy and shaking as badly as my body.
She nodded slowly, her eyes still focused on me as she reached under the bar and handed me the cordless receiver. As I took it, someone called for her from the other end of the bar and she walked away, concern still creasing her pretty face.
I stared down at the phone, my mind completely blank. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or who I was supposed to call. The events of the night played on repeat in my head, highlighting every mistake I’d made and every stupid thing I’d done. As I looked at the glowing orange screen of the phone, a single tear escaped my eye and ran down my face.
It was then that I knew exactly what I wanted to do and who I wanted to see. There was really only one option, and as I dialed, I was thankful that I was probably one of the last people with a cell who still memorized phone numbers.
It only rang twice.
“Hello?”
“Remy?” my voice was small and so unlike my own, I wasn’t even sure he’d recognize it. A small sob escaped me before I cleared my throat and tried again. “It’s Belle. Could you please come get me?”
Chapter 39
Remy
“It’s Belle. Could you please come get me?” Her voice was weak and scratchy, like she had a sore throat or had been ill for a while. But I’d just seen her two days ago.
Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2) Page 34
