by Roma James
I really needed to get myself together, but knowing that and actually doing it were two very different things.
Moving quickly in the small space, I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it and took a moment to breathe in the steam that was already starting to billow out over the top of the shower curtain.
Just get in and clear your head.
Don’t think about you-know-who.
Either of them.
But trying not to think about them only seemed to make things worse, because the moment I stepped under the hot shower and let the water hit me, it was even easier to close my eyes and imagine Cade and Boone right there with me.
I’d obviously never been with two guys at the same time before—had never even come close, honestly—but as long as I kept my eyes closed, I could let my imagination run wild and fantasize about all the things I wanted them to do.
I reached back to brace myself against the cool tile as my free hand reached up to massage my shoulders and neck. I knew just from looking at their hands—and from spending my whole life on a ranch—that their touch wouldn’t be like my own. Their calloused fingers and palms would feel rough as they moved across my skin, from my shoulders down to my breasts, gently squeezing and cupping each one before moving to tease each pebbled, sensitive nipple.
“Yes,” I panted, getting lost in the fantasy. “Feels so good…”
My body rocked against the tile as a wave of heat began spreading inside me, radiating from my core. The air was thick with steam, and I was already feeling a little lightheaded from the quick, shallow breaths I’d been taking even before my hand moved lower, down past my stomach until my fingers found my most sensitive spot.
I gasped as I teased myself, letting a single finger part my slick folds and dip inside before bringing it back out again. God, I wished it was Cade’s finger instead. Or Boone’s tongue.
My hips bucked again and a finger slid back inside me. I had to turn my head and grind my teeth to keep from crying out, but I didn’t stop. I felt my muscles tighten around my finger, gripping it as I slid it in and out, deeper and faster as I lost myself in the fantasy.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
A muffled moan escaped my lips as my whole body started to tremble. I could feel my orgasm rushing through me like a tidal wave, lifting me and carrying me until it felt as though I might have floated away if I hadn’t still been bracing myself against the cool tiles behind me.
It took a few moments for me to open my eyes and even longer before I could trust my trembling legs to support my weight while I finished showering. God, it was hard to believe that crazy, intense climax had been the result of a fantasy. How would my body have reacted if Cade and Boone had really been in here with me?
I definitely would have passed out. No question about it.
And it definitely would have been worth it.
I took a little extra time getting ready after I got out of the shower and back to my room. No matter how many deep breaths I took or how many times I told my brain to think of something—anything—else, my traitorous mind and body seemed to have other ideas. I didn’t know how I was going to face Cade and Boone after this without accidentally fantasizing about them, and I honestly felt a little embarrassed by the way my body was reacting—especially since it had been such a dark, frightening morning on the ranch.
But again, my body wouldn’t listen to reason. It wanted what it wanted.
And what it wanted most was to be alone with the two men who were probably waiting for me downstairs right this minute.
I walked down the stairs slowly and deliberately, reminding myself that I couldn’t just throw myself at Cade and Boone once I was finally in the same room with them again. I stopped to listen for a moment at the foot of the stairs, surprised I couldn’t already hear the low rumble of Boone’s voice or Cade’s easy laughter from where I was standing. Then again, there hadn’t been much to laugh about so far today. They were probably huddled in the kitchen with my uncle talking about everything that had happened and what we were all going to do about it.
Except when I walked down the hallway and stepped into the kitchen, I saw that my uncle was sitting at the table by himself, just silently staring out the kitchen window toward the stables.
“Did they go back out there without you?” I asked, craning my neck to see what my uncle was so focused on outside.
“They went home,” he answered without looking away from the window.
It felt as if the floor had dropped out from under me and my stomach was in my throat. I knew they weren’t planning on staying all day, of course, but… I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. Didn’t they care? Wasn’t it at least common courtesy to say goodbye?
“They’ll be back,” he said, finally looking over and giving me a tired look. Not even disapproving this time, just… tired. “They had to go check on things at their ranch and gather some clothes. We all thought it might be a good idea if they came back and stayed for little while—at least until we can make sure what happened last night was just a random, senseless thing.”
I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again before any words had come out. My brain was still shifting gears from being upset that they’d left to being excited that they were coming back. And I had more questions than Uncle Justin had patience to answer, judging from the look he was still giving me.
For starters, I wondered whose idea it had been for them to come back at all. Uncle Justin hadn’t even been thrilled that they’d come over for dinner last night. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that he’d invite them to stay even longer. For days at a time.
But I wasn’t going to bring that up right now, in case he might have second thoughts before they had a chance to get back here.
“Do you think it was random?” I asked, choosing what was probably the most important question I had, even if it wasn’t the most exciting one.
For a moment he simply stared, then shook his head. “No. But I haven’t come up with an explanation for it, either. So, for now, I’m hoping I’m wrong.”
“I hope you are, too,” I said, quietly.
We both knew that he probably wasn’t wrong, though. It felt like we’d been targeted for some reason. It felt like someone was sending us a message. And I felt like it was probably going to happen again.
I shivered at the thought, then moved to sit down next to my uncle at the kitchen table.
“You know they’re too old for you, Janessa,” he said, sighing.
I blinked, startled by the sudden chance of topic. And God, this really was the last thing I wanted to talk to my uncle about.
“I don’t know what you—” I started to say but cut myself off when he shook his head.
“I’ve seen the way you look at them, sweetie. And the way they look at you. I might be old, but I’m not blind.” He paused, and I could feel myself starting to blush. Had I really been that transparent? Well… yeah, I probably had. It wasn’t like I’d gone to any great lengths to hide my feelings for them. Still, I hadn’t expected Uncle Justin to bring it up first. Or at all. “I know that you probably won’t care what I have to say about them,” he said. “But I feel like it needs to be said anyway. It’s my responsibility as your uncle to try and steer you clear of trouble when I see it coming.”
“They’re not trouble,” I said, bristling a little at the way he was suggesting that Cade and Boone might not be good guys. “And if you really thought they were, I can’t imagine you’d let them come back here to stay for a few days.”
He sighed again as a small, tired smile crossed his lips. “You’re right. I wouldn’t let them come back if I thought they were bad guys. But even the best guys can be trouble when it comes to, ah… relationships.”
Now I really was blushing. And I was pretty sure Uncle Justin’s cheeks were turning a light shade of pink as well. I really hoped he wasn’t going to try and give me the birds and bees talk, because… ugh. No.
/> Besides, I was already twenty years old. He was a little late with the information—not that it would be any less embarrassing coming from him now than it had been with my own parents back when they’d fumbled through the very basic description of where babies came from.
“I don’t think they want a relationship with me,” I said, hoping to set his mind at ease and move on to a different conversation.
But he just leaned in and nodded, as if I’d said something important. “That’s my point, Janessa. Those guys have a reputation around here—and it isn’t the kind of reputation you get from being a saint.”
I wanted to argue that none of us were saints, but I didn’t think it would make a difference. He wasn’t going to change his mind about Cade and Boone, and I wasn’t going to change my opinion, either. I didn’t care about the gossip people spread about them. I knew them. I felt safe around them. And even though I knew Uncle Justin really was trying to look out for me, I was going to trust my own instincts this time.
So instead of arguing, I stood up and walked over to him. “Thank you for always worrying way too much about me,” I said, only sort of joking as I leaned in to give him a hug. “I really do appreciate it, even if I might not always agree with you.”
He snorted. “I take it this is one of those times when you disagree?”
“I didn’t say I disagree…” Even though I do. I smiled. “I just think you worry too much.”
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said, shaking his head again as I turned to walk back out of the kitchen. “And that includes getting your heart broken.”
“You can’t save me from the world, Uncle Justin,” I called back over my shoulder. I had intended to walk back upstairs without another word about Cade and Boone, but I didn’t want him to think I was completely dismissing everything he’d said. I wasn’t. And I respected his opinion, even if I felt like I might know my heart better than he did this time. “But I love you for trying. And please don’t worry. I won’t let anyone break my heart. I promise.”
I could tell from the look he was giving me that he didn’t believe me.
I’d just have to prove him wrong.
Chapter 8
Cade
I’ve never been good at acting. My line of work and the realities of raising cattle and crops in Montana have taught me to trust my instincts and know my surroundings. I don’t live in a fantasy land, and I don’t pretend to be something I’m not.
So, acting like I was not one hundred percent attracted to the smart, sexy woman sitting next to me was difficult, to say the least.
Worse? I could tell that she wasn't buying my bullshit, either.
Janessa knew that I wanted her. It was why she’d been out here with me in the dark, sitting on the front porch and watching the road for the past two hours. It was why she kept dropping hints and flashing that little smile that’s the perfect combination of innocent and seductive.
Yeah, she knew I wanted her. She just didn't know why I wasn't letting myself admit it. And to be honest, I wasn't even sure why I shouldn’t anymore.
Sure, Boone thought it was a bad idea. He didn't want to get tangled up in something that might turn out to be complicated. I got that. And that was nothing new for him—that had basically been the story of our entire friendship. I would want to do something and Boone would give me a dozen good reasons why I shouldn’t.
She’s young.
She’s inexperienced.
Her uncle might kill us.
All valid points. I couldn’t and wouldn’t argue with any of them, especially if it might fuck up my friendship with Boone. But… would it? Did it have to?
The more I thought about it, the less certain I was. Why did the prospect of having a little fun with Janessa have to mean anything beyond that? We were all adults here, after all. Couldn’t we all make our own decisions about what—and who—we wanted?
I looked over at her, and I could see her looking back at me through the darkness. I wondered what she was thinking. If all she wanted was a little fun, I could definitely give her that. No problem. I could give it to her as often as she wanted it.
But what if she wanted more? What if I wanted more? I just didn’t know.
Boone had been married before, and I’d watched his whole life come crashing down when cancer took his wife, Maria, away from him. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever get over losing her, but I’d watched him slowly pick up the pieces over the past five years.
At least his reasons for not wanting to jump into something new and potentially complicated made sense. But did I have to abide by his reasons?
That didn’t make much sense to me, but then again, I did things that didn’t make a damn bit of sense on a regular basis.
“What are you thinking about?” Janessa asked, pulling me from my thoughts as I belatedly realized I’d been staring at her for God only knew how long. “I can tell there’s something on your mind.”
I snorted. Man, I wished I could have told her everything that was on my mind. But I wouldn’t have even known where to begin.
“I’m wondering if that bastard is going to try showing up again tonight,” I said. It wasn’t a lie—worrying about the Thoresons' ranch had been taking up a lot of my time over the past twenty-four hours.
But it obviously wasn’t the only thing on my mind, and I was pretty sure Janessa had picked up on that fact.
“What will we do if he does come back?” she asked. She didn’t sound worried, though. Not that she should be. Whoever it was would have to get through me, Boone, and Justin Thoreson before they could even think about hurting Janessa. And even then, my money was on her.
“You will go back inside where it’s safe,” I answered. “And I’ll show him what we do to people who like to hurt animals and stir up trouble around here.”
“Oh, right,” she said, drawing out the words in a tone that was already dripping with sarcasm. I might not have been able to see her expression very well in the darkness, but I still had a pretty good idea of the look she was giving me. And whatever she was about to say probably wasn’t going to be good. “I almost forgot that everyone around here thinks I’m completely incapable of doing anything but cooking and cleaning. God forbid I might be able to take care of myself if I needed to.”
“I think we might have our wires crossed a little,” I said, trying to choose my words carefully. “Just for the record, I never said any of those things. And I wasn’t thinking them, either.”
“But you’d still have me go back inside until you decided it was safe,” she said. It wasn’t a question. More of a challenge, really. And it also happened to be the absolute truth.
“I won’t apologize for trying to keep you out of harm’s way,” I said. “But the reason I’m here has nothing to do with whether or not I think you can take care of yourself.”
She was quiet for a moment, and I wasn’t sure if I’d calmed her down or just pissed her off even more. “Why are you here, then?” she asked, finally.
Shit.
Now what was I supposed to say? I wasn’t going to lie to her, but it didn’t really seem like the right time to tell her how sexy she was, either.
“I came here last night because you invited me,” I answered, throwing in a smile even though I was pretty sure it wouldn’t have mattered even if she’d been able to see it.
“Fair enough.” She was starting to sound a little annoyed. “So, what made you come back tonight?”
“Is it too hard to believe that I just want to make sure you’re okay?” I asked, feeling a little irritated myself that I had to dance around the issue like this. I didn’t want to talk in circles, and I damn sure wasn’t going to say something I didn’t mean, but I was running out of ways to avoid the simple truth without being rude.
I wasn’t sure which would be worse, though—getting the third degree from Janessa and pissing her off in the process or dealing with her uncle and Boone if I fucked up and told her how I really felt.
&nbs
p; At least I knew where I stood with the other guys, though.
“I believe you,” she said, standing up from the chair where she’d been sitting next to me. “I just don’t know why you care.”
She started to walk past me to go inside, but I stopped her. I was on my feet and had stepped in front of her before I’d even made the conscious decision to move. I couldn’t let our conversation end like this—not with all of this awkward tension and uncertainty.
“I care because…” My voice trailed off and I swallowed hard. Damn, I’d made a mess of this situation. Boone and I had agreed to one simple rule—hands off Janessa.
One rule.
“Because?” she prompted, sounding breathless as she moved in even closer.
Oh, fuck.
There were only a couple of inches separating our bodies now, and I could clearly see her beautiful face when she looked up at me.
One rule.
But I’d never been good at following rules. This seemed like a lousy time to try and start.
I’d also never been very good with words. I liked action. And since I couldn’t seem to find the words to describe how I was feeling, I went with the next best thing. I showed her.
I leaned in, closing the small gap of space that was left between us until our lips finally met. She went completely still for about point-five seconds and then melted against me, opening her mouth and making a needy little sound that made me realize right then and there that I would do anything—anything—to keep her safe.
Her hands moved across my chest as I kissed her deeper, and my hard cock strained between us as she rolled her hips against mine. Fuck, I should have done this a long time ago. What had I been depriving myself for, anyway?
The sound of the front door creaking as it opened snapped both of us back to reality. She gasped and took a step back as I did the same. I was thankful for the cover of darkness as I turned away to adjust my insistent erection.
“Time for a shift change.” Boone’s voice was quiet as he stepped out onto the porch. I didn’t meet his gaze at first, but I could feel his eyes on me for several long seconds before he spoke again. “Hope I’m not… interrupting anything.”
