He's an outsider, she reminded herself. Ezekiel Troyer was the kind of man she should marry. Ezekiel was the sensible choice, but she’d come this far.
As she stared through one of his windows, she knew she had to close the door of her heart once and for all. It would be hard, but then she brought to mind the suffering of her forefathers and what they’d endured in the name of God. Just staying away from a man was no comparison. She wasn't being tortured or killed. She sighed, summoned the courage, and walked away from his house.
Getting to know Ezekiel would keep her mind busy and put a stop to her thinking about Carter.
“Hey.”
Her heart raced when she recognised his voice. She turned around but she couldn't see him.
“Over here,” the voice said. She followed the sound and saw him coming toward the fence from the orchard. “It seems we both had the same idea. I was looking for you.”
She hurried over to him, horrified. “You didn't go to the house?” What would her stepmother think if an Englischer knocked on the door looking for her? Besides that, it would be a dreadful example to her half-sisters. They met as they always seemed to, at the fence.
“I was looking for you.” He gave her a smile, flashing his white teeth. His cheeks were slightly pink blending nicely with the hue of his maroon knitted scarf that hung casually around his neck.
He looked so good. Coming to see him was a huge mistake. They needed more than a wire fence between them. “Look, this is your side of the fence and that is my side. Stay on your own side and everything will be fine.” She pulled up one of the wire strands to slip through and he tried to help her. “I can do it,” she snapped.
He frowned. Now they were both on her side of the fence. “Why the anger?” he asked.
“I can't keep talking to you like this—all friendly like.” Her whole body trembled.
He grinned. “Why?”
“I just can't.”
“You can't be friends with someone of a different faith? Or someone who has no faith at all?”
“No, I mean, that's right.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I see Amish people talking to non-Amish people all the time.”
“Talking yes, but we're not close.”
It annoyed her that she’d never found out more about him, but that might’ve been the attraction. If she knew everything about him maybe he wouldn't seem so interesting. She had to know more, and then she’d finally have the courage to forget him.
He carefully ran his fingers along the top row of barbed wire. “I saw you with a man the other day. You both looked happy.”
“We’re just friends.” That was her chance. She could’ve pretended things were serious between her and Ezekiel. Now was also her chance to know about that woman. “I’ve seen a woman here a few times while I’ve been on my afternoon walks.”
“She’s just a friend.”
“You’re only saying that because I said the man was just a friend.”
“No.” He shook his head. “She’s truly just a friend.”
“I thought you didn’t need friends.”
“More of an acquaintance.” He laughed. “It’s not like that. I know what you’re thinking.”
“I’m not thinking anything.”
“Anyway, all that aside, I’m glad he’s only a friend of yours.”
“Why’s that?” She knew she should walk away, but she couldn’t. Besides, he’d been so good to her when Honor had run off with Jonathon. He’d driven through the night and that was after spending the whole day driving around locally looking for her.
“He doesn’t suit you at all.” He wagged a finger at her. “You're scared of getting to like me too much, aren't you?”
“No!” Her nervous fingers straightened her kapp. “Of course not! I would never—”
He smirked. “But you've thought about it.”
She shook her head and annoyance took over before she got a chance to ask more questions. “It’s best that you stay on your side of the fence and I'll stay on mine.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
“Come on. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”
She walked away leaving him standing there. The only way she could finally end this was to do it this way. If they parted amicably, it would leave the door open.
“Florence.”
She ignored him.
“I’ll be here when you’ve gotten over whatever’s bugging you,” he called after her.
Just put one foot after the other.
Once she was far enough away among the safety of her apple trees, she slowed her pace. As she walked, she looked up through the high branches at the gray sky above. In her youth, she’d expected to grow up and marry. It seemed a simple thing.
It was irritating that love was happening so easily for her sisters. It wasn’t that she was envious, it just left her with so many unanswered questions.
If she could fall in love with Ezekiel Troyer, her life would be wonderful. To have kinner of her own would be a dream come true. She quickened her pace, determined to write another letter to Ezekiel before the evening meal.
Chapter 19
It was months after Honor and Jonathon’s wedding and everything had returned to normal—a new version of normal—in the Baker household. Another apple harvest had come and gone—this time, without three of Florence’s half-sisters. They no longer had the stall at the farmers markets and concentrated their efforts on their shop down by the road. Florence had kept her word and sent regular letters to Ezekiel Troyer, but his letters were fewer than what she would’ve liked. It was hard to develop a meaningful relationship without regular contact. In his letters, he’d asked more than once if she’d come to see him. It would be difficult to leave the orchard, but Florence was starting to realize she had to make some effort.
Her best friend Liza now had her second baby—another boy—a brother for Malachi.
It was the best moment in Florence’s life to witness a baby coming into the world. First off in the labor, came Liza’s suffering leaving Florence utterly helpless, not knowing what to do other than look on. Nothing gave Liza comfort until the hours of those first-stage contractions passed. When the urge came to Liza to bear down, it wasn’t long before the baby boy slithered out. Everyone was in tears. Florence hadn’t been prepared for the miracle to be so impactful. It was a moment she’d remember for ever, and was grateful her very best friend had shared that special moment with her. It was a true gift. She hoped Liza would be at her own baby’s birth—one day.
Florence had some serious catching up to do with Liza, who was two children and one husband ahead of her. But for that to happen, she needed her own man. That was another reason to make the effort to visit Ezekiel.
It was late one night when she was sewing with Mamm that she raised the subject of Cherish. If she’d learned her lesson, there would be another pair of hands to fill in for her when she visited Ezekiel. “When do you think would be a good time for Cherish to come home?”
Mamm jerked her head up from her sewing. “I was thinking about her just now! It's like you heard my thoughts. She hasn't been writing those pleading letters for a while now, and that's making me nervous.”
“Jah, I noticed her letters had stopped.”
“Why don't you call Dagmar and find out how Cherish’s been doing?”
“We can both call her tomorrow and say happy birthday to Cherish. That is, if they hear the phone in the barn from the haus.”
“That’s right. It’ll be her birthday. How could I have lost track of that? I guess because she's not here ...”
“I know Cherish will be upset that she won't make it back for Joy’s birthday and for hers.” Joy’s birthday was the day after Cherish’s. They were one day off being born exactly three years apart.
“She should've thought of that before she started chasing someone far too old for her.”
Florence nodded in agreement as the words brought
the memories back. As they sat quietly by the toasty crackling fire, her thoughts turned to Carter. She hadn’t seen him for months. He still lived there. She knew that because she often saw his car there.
“What are you thinking about with that faraway look in your eyes?”
“Nothing. Well, I was thinking how peaceful it is tonight.”
“I wonder if it will ever be like that again once Cherish returns?”
Florence giggled. “Let’s enjoy it while we can, shall we?”
Mamm smiled and nodded.
They called Aunt Dagmar the next morning, but there was no answer. It wasn’t until the night-time that they spoke to Cherish. Nothing was discussed about when she’d be allowed home. Dagmar had arranged a special birthday dinner and Cherish was only interested in getting back to the guests.
The whole day Florence had waited anxiously for the mail to be delivered. When it finally came, there was only one letter in the box. It had come from one of Favor’s many pen pals. There was nothing from Ezekiel.
* * *
On November 5, the morning of Joy’s seventeenth birthday, Joy stayed in bed tossing and turning. Every night was the same. She couldn't sleep for thinking about Isaac and wondering if they’d ever be back to how they once were. He’d been so easy to get along with, and then he had changed.
In her mind, she’d analyzed every conversation, every glance, every action, wondering what had upset him. She must've done something. She'd written to him and even asked his sister, Christina, many times how he was. All Christina did was give a little smile and then change the subject. And she didn't want to get her half-brother Mark involved. He would be uncomfortable talking about the matter. She tried not to worry about it and to leave it in Gott’s hands, but it wasn't as easy as she thought. Every time she managed to push it out of her head, it was there again five minutes later.
Luke Wilkes, her sort-of brother-in-law hadn’t helped matters with Isaac. Isaac was jealous and for no good reason. She couldn’t help it if Luke had shown her attention at Honor and Jonathon’s wedding. His interest was certainly not returned. He was too immature, not serious about much of anything.
Maybe everyone was right and she would be like Dagmar, and remain a spinster forever. Passed by, overlooked, and forgotten about. At least she’d have memories of Isaac and the times they once shared. If only he’d stayed the confident, carefree man she’d first met.
Then it occurred to her that he might have a girlfriend by now. Her stomach churned. Surely, she would've heard about it if he’d gotten married.
There was nothing she could do but trust Gott that He had a plan for her life. For all her preaching at others over the years, she was failing dreadfully in the trusting department. Why was such a simple thing as trusting so hard to do?
Joy had taken over Mercy’s old bedroom and she just happened to look out the window to see Isaac getting out of Christina and Mark’s buggy. She could barely believe her eyes.
He’s back!
Her heart felt like it had stopped for a moment. She put a hand to her chest and then sat down, as though frozen.
“If he’s here that means he doesn't have a girlfriend and he’s not married. Or is he coming to tell me he is getting married?”
Surely not on my birthday.
No, he was there to make up for lost time. To make amends. Maybe to apologize because he realized she had done nothing wrong.
She already had on her best dress for her birthday and one of Christina’s specially sewn kapps.
She blew out a deep breath and walked down the steps in just enough time to hear Christina say, “We had an unexpected visitor today so we thought we’d bring him along. I hope that's okay.”
“Isaac, it's nice to see you again,” Mamm said.
She paused on the steps and he looked up at her and then everyone else faded into the background. “Joy,” he said as he stood there staring.
“Hello, Isaac.” She continued walking down the steps feeling like she was floating.
“Happy birthday,”
“Denke. You are staying for dinner, aren't you?”
He nodded. “That's why I've come.” He handed her a slip of paper.
“What's this?”
“Read it.” She slowly opened it and read it.
I'm sorry for what I've done and I'm sorry for the time that we’ve been apart.
Her heart melted. In one moment, all the heartache was gone. She folded the note over. “I'm sorry too.”
“Why don't we make a new start of things?” He grinned.
She stared at him. Why was he back now all of a sudden? Had he been dating another girl and she’d rejected him? That would explain Christina’s behavior and the way she always avoided answering questions about him.
“What do you say?”
She realized she hadn’t answered. “Jah, a fresh start.”
“I can’t change my weight. For starters, I’ve got big bones.”
“Why would you want to change your weight?”
“For you.”
“Nee. I l … like you just the way you are.” She nearly said the word love, but wasn’t prepared to say that word unless he said it first. She’d been disappointed by him once and didn’t want a repeat.
“I’ve been miserable for months. Just ask my whole family.”
She was pleased to hear it. “Are you feeling better now?”
When Isaac smiled at her, she knew everything would be okay.
“I'm fine. I just feel funny sometimes because I'm so overweight.”
“You're not overweight, you're just perfect. I keep saying the same thing. Please, let’s stop talking about it.”
“I'm sorry for before.”
“That's fine, forgiven, and there's no need to ever feel anything like that. To me, you're perfect just the way you are.”
“I don't know about that, but thanks for saying so.”
“Good. Now we can forget about all that and go back to how things were.”
“Sure. I came to the conclusion it was all in my head.” He held out his hand and she put her hand in his. “You'll have to catch me up with what you've been doing.”
“I will, and it’ll take all of five minutes because I've just been doing the same old thing over and over again.”
Joy was relieved he was back. If he had been dating another girl, he wouldn't have said what he just had. Even though they’d never made promises to one another, it would've been awful if she had lost him. She couldn't imagine herself with anyone else and she wanted him to feel that way too.
“I remember when I reached seventeen. Do you feel any older?”
“Not a bit.”
They walked into the dining room where they found everyone had gathered. Ada and Samuel, Mamm’s close friends were there. They came to all the birthday dinners and family celebrations.
Florence was fearful now that Isaac was back. Would Joy think she could also get married at seventeen just because her older sister had?
Half of her was worried, the other half really liked Isaac. And he was Christina’s brother, and they’d known him for a long time. It was nice how he had surprised Joy by coming to her birthday dinner.
Once dinner was over and everyone was in the living room, Ada and Florence went into the kitchen to make coffee.
“Now come here and talk to your Aunt Ada.”
Florence laughed. She wasn't her aunt, but her stepmother and Ada were so close she felt like her aunt. “All right. I’ll just light the stove.” When she had put the kettle to heat on the gas flame she sat down next to Ada.
“I think we should have a talk about something.”
“What is it?”
“It's about Ezekiel.”
“He's alright isn't he?”
“He’s fine. But … I asked him how things were going with both of you and he said you were still writing.”
“Jah, we are.”
“I haven't finished yet.”
“Oh, I'm sorr
y. Go on.”
“He said he has invited you to the farm several times and you find a reason why you can't go.”
“And the reasons are real. I'm not making them up. I’m thinking of going soon. Really I am.”
“You should. He’s a good man and you don’t want to let him get away.”
I know.”
“Wilma tells me our Cherish might be coming back.”
Florence nodded. “We have talked about that.”
“That will give you more free time.”
“No, it won't because I will have to keep an eye on her. Nothing ever runs smoothly when she’s around. I first thought it would be good to get her back before I go away, but I just don’t know.”
“That's only because everyone is reliant on you now. If you didn't check on everything people would check on themselves.” She leaned closer and whispered, “even Wilma has become too reliant on you. Once you’re gone, they’ll realize exactly how much you do.”
“I will go to visit him, Ada. Denke for prompting me. I think I just needed a little push.”
Ada put her arm around Florence’s shoulder. “You deserve a lot of happiness, Florence. Your father and your mother would be pleased to see how lovely you've grown up to be.”
She stared at Ada. Her mother was so rarely mentioned by anyone. “Were you close with my mudder?”
Right at that moment, the kettle boiled and Wilma walked into the room. “Florence, why don’t you talk to our guests while I help Ada in here.”
“Nee, Mamm. That’s fine.”
“I insist.”
“Okay.” Florence left the kitchen and headed to the living room. It felt strange having someone else do the work in the kitchen. The only seat left was one next to Christina, so she sat down next to her. There was no reason why they couldn’t get along together and Florence was determined to make a special effort. Talking to Christina would also take her mind off what happened in the kitchen just now. Obviously, Mamm had overheard them talking about her birthmother. Was she jealous of even the memory of Dat’s first wife?
A Simple Kiss (The Amish Bonnet Sisters Book 3) Page 10
