He looks down at me seriously. “Have I told you yet how amazing you are?”
I laugh softly. “I believe you have.”
“But have I ever told you, you are the one.”
Sitting up completely, I move myself back until I am sitting next to him. I nudge him playfully with my shoulder. “I bet you say that to all the girls. Candice practically beams whenever she talks about you.”
He looks down at me and his eyes pierce mine with unspoken words. I look away uncomfortably. I am not supposed to choose him. I am not supposed to imagine I like him more.
He takes my hand into his, and then he brings it up, level to his chest. With his index finger, he traces the lines in my palm. Softly he says, “Stay with me. Be with me and choose me.”
I try to pull my hand from his, but he holds onto it firmly. He turns toward me abruptly and my eyes fix on his chest. I know when I look up at him, I will want him to kiss me, but I am with Kieran. I am supposed to be with Kieran.
He hisses softly, “What Kieran keeps omitting to tell you, is that there is a possibility the shadows will take you. You will die, and.” He hesitates. “This time you might not come back or if you do, I won’t be here.”
I whisper scared, “I have died each time before my seventeenth birthday, you cannot stop the inevitable. If it is my time to go, then it is my time.”
He folds his hands around my shoulders, gripping them tightly and I feel him want to shake some sense into me, as his fingers push into the flesh around my shoulder bones. He says firmly, through gritted teeth, “Not if you make the right choice.”
I insist angrily, “Stop it with the whole convincing me thing. I have decided.” I make the mistake of looking up at him. He has not shaved and there is a three-day shadow along his strong jaw line. I feel my stomach drop when my eyes come to rest on his lips.
He smiles sardonically. “Do you want me to kiss you, Heather?”
I struggle to breathe and pull away from him roughly. “I think you must go now.”
He is standing by the window so fast I did not see him move. He turns to me and his words dump me into a deep pit of despair. “I’ll pick you up on Monday night, and take you to your mom so you can say your goodbyes. In case, you know, um, you don’t come back.”
ON THE SUNDAY, I SPEND every moment with my dad and Shirley, without telling them I might not be around as a living person for much longer.
When a moment comes when it is just the two of us sitting outside on the deck chairs, while the warm sun shines down on us, I tell him I understand why he and my mom are getting a divorce. He looks at me with a small smile playing on his lips.
Shirley comes back outside and I stop talking uncomfortably, but he gives me a look which makes me realize that even though there were times when I felt he did not love or care about me, he might have stopped calling me Princess, but I have always been his princess, he has always loved me.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
On Monday evening, Jayden comes to pick me up. I do not want to invite him in because I am unsure what impression I will create when I introduce another boy to my dad and Shirley in such a short period of time.
When I hear Jayden’s car stop outside, I tell my dad and Shirley, “I won’t be home late.” When I call his house, home. I can see the relief in his eyes that I have accepted his home as my home as well.
Jayden is busy getting out of his car when I rush out of the door. I pull the door closed behind me and then I hurry to his car.
He stares at me in confusion when I get into his car and he gets back inside. “And now? What’s your hurry?” He asks.
“I thought the quicker we get this over and done with, the better.”
As we leave Slane, I ask curiously, “Where is Kieran, I thought you would bring him with?”
Dismissively, Jayden says brusquely, “He has gone to Newgrange to see how the security is and how we will be able to get close to it in the middle of the night. We’ll have to stay there till dawn.”
Thereafter, we drive in silence and I can feel his brooding radiate from him. I notice him glancing at me every now and again uncertainly. I try to figure out how I am supposed to say goodbye to my mom. One way or another I have accepted my fate. I am going to die anyway, at least now I can say goodbye.
When we get to my home, I am not sure if I want Jayden to go in with me, but he opens his door before I can protest.
Walking into the house, I can hear the sounds from the TV in the lounge.
My mom looks up shocked when she sees me walking into the room. “And now? What’s wrong?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I just wanted to come and see you.” I smile as I lean down and hug her to me.
Jayden remains unsure in the doorway.
She looks past me with an amused smile on her lips. “You are the young man from the other day?”
He smiles and says friendly, “Good evening, Mrs. O’Halloran.”
“Sit.” She waves her hand to point out the chairs.
Jayden sits down in the chair closest to the door, and as I walk past him to the chair I always sit in, I feel his fingers brush across mine.
Impulsively, I decide to sit down next to him because I suddenly need moral support.
We talk for hours and in between, I get up and make us each a cup of tea.
Much, much later, I sigh and stand up from the couch, where I have gradually settled into Jayden. “We better go, I told Dad I won’t be home late.”
My mom and Jayden stand up as well and then my mom walks us to the door. She says, “It was nice to meet you properly, Jayden.”
Jayden laughs self-consciously and he squeezes my hand gently. I did not even realize he is holding my hand.
I rush to my mom and Jayden lets my hand go. I throw my arms around her shoulders and I say, “I love you so very much, Mommy.”
She pulls away from me and takes my face between her hands. There is a deep frown between her eyes as she searches my face. “What’s wrong, Heather?”
I chuckle, trying to dismiss my sudden hysterical display of emotions. “I think it is because I am not used to being away from you for so long.”
“Oh, Heather, I love you too, and the week will go so fast. Before you know it, you will be back at home.”
I smile sadly. “Don’t miss me too much and make sure David is the one before you commit yourself to him.”
My mom glances at Jayden embarrassed. She says to him, rather than to me, “Always so concerned about others, rather than herself.” I cling to her for a moment and then after taking the deepest breath I have ever had to take in my entire life, I say, “See you soon, Mom.”
She laughs. “Enjoy yourself, Heather and stop fretting about me.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
As he turns into the road, I move myself around on the seat and stare across the seat at her receding figure. When I cannot see her anymore, I turn forward despondently and then I cry. It is not silent, discreet tears. It is loud, heart-breaking sobs that shudder through my entire body.
Jayden pulls over onto the sidewalk and then he leans toward me. He wraps his arms around me, and he pulls me into his chest.
Soon I feel his shirt drenched through with my tears. I do not have a tissue and I can feel my nose watering profusely. I wonder if I should sniff loudly. I want to pull away so I can wipe my nose on the sleeve of my jumper.
Embarrassed, I do not even want to consider wiping or even dripping from my nose onto his shirt. I do not want to pull away from him either because I like being in his arms.
He always knows when I need someone desperately. Every time he comes to visit me in my room, it was when I needed to speak to someone, although I never realized it at the time. He has told me everything, whilst Kieran has tried to protect me and keep me safe, by only telling me what he thinks I need to know.
When I no longer have the choice between sniffing loudly and wiping my nose on his shirt, I pull away from him reluctantly.
He reaches across me and pulls open the glove compartment. Smiling sympathetically, he produces a pack of pocket tissues, and I glance at him gratefully.
I am reluctant to look at him because I am not one of those girls who cry prettily, especially after a total expenditure of cropped up emotions. I know my eyes will be red-rimmed, my nose will be twice its normal size and I can easily be a contender to play Rudolph in any Christmas play, without having to wear a red plastic nose.
I cringe as I blow my nose noisily. The sound will forever remain in my memory as the most embarrassing ever. The thought that I do not have a forever crops up in my head, and with a hiccup, I feel a fresh batch of tears shimmy down my cheeks.
Gently he puts his hand against the side of my head, and he pulls me into him.
Throughout my entire display of undiluted hysterics, he remains silent. He does not even make the usual hushing noises people usually make when they do not know what to say.
We sit like this for a very long time, until I can feel the emergency brake lever pushing into my leg painfully.
I pull away from him slowly and his concerned voice is suddenly too loud in the quiet car. “Okay?”
I nod my head and then turn to look out of the window to my side. As he starts the car and starts to drive again, I lean my head against the headrest and with my back turned to him I pull my knees up to my chest.
Close to my dad’s house, I turn to him and I ask softly, “How am I going to explain to my Dad why I have been crying?”
Jokingly Jayden suggests, “Tell them you and Kieran broke up.”
I glare at him disgusted. “Will you stop doing that? I know how this is supposed to end.”
He laughs rudely. “No, actually you don’t.”
I sigh sadly. “Why must we always fight?”
“Because you are a stubborn, silly girl who cannot understand how I feel about you.”
Irate, I turn to him completely, my one leg folded in under me. “Tell me then!”
His fleeting look is filled with shock. I see his eyes go from light to dark. He narrows his eyes as he looks at me uncertainly, and then I can actually see him lose his nerve.
We pull into the driveway in front of my dad’s house. I pull the lever to open the door, and as I get out, I say stubbornly, “Stop telling me I am making the wrong choice, when you cannot even convince me why I am.”
Jayden remains in the car, staring ahead without expression.
I walk away from his car without looking back and I hear him pull away slowly. Five minutes later, I can hear the distant squealing of tires as he accelerates and speeds away.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
Kieran waits until it is dark, and the moon is starting to rise on the horizon. The night before he came to scout the area and to see how many security guards watched over the monument, so now he knows when it is the right time to make his move.
He walks through the spongy grass across the fields toward the structure he can see in the distance. He climbs through the fencing and squirms through the shrub hedges. The moon is bright in the sky when he reaches the white luminous stone structure.
He looks around nervously, but there is not another human being in sight. He levitates up to the top of the monument and then he walks up the slight incline to the top and centre of the structure.
With his black handled knife, he casts a circle. He visualizes a golden chord emanating from the sky and slowly, gradually he draws a line in the air with his knife until he is standing in the middle of the circle, he created around himself.
He walks toward the northern end of the circle and then he consecrates the ground by sprinkling salt on the ground, he moves along to the most eastern point and he lights an incense stick, which he pushes into the ground. The smell of jasmine soon fills the air. When he reaches the southern tip, he lights a silver candle and places it onto the ground and finally, when he reaches the western tip, he sprinkles rose water, letting it rain down onto the earth.
He moves around the circle again, and all the while, he keeps the one thought in his head, the thought that the curse will be broken and the promise of him and Heather being able to be together.
He stands in the southern quadrant of the circle and he rings the brass bell in his hand nine times, signifying the beginning of the ritual—nine being the number of completion and perfection. He walks across the circle and places the brass bell on the ground in the north. He turns and walks to the east. The stick of incense has burned itself out by now, and he pulls it from the ground and places it in the pocket of the long black trench coat he is wearing. He places his black handled knife on the ground, and the moon reflects off the magical engravings covering the blade.
He starts to move toward the southern part of his circle, and here he places his wand, made from the wood of the magical Ash tree.
When he reaches the western point, he places his silver ritual cup, filled with pure water, which he had left for twenty-four hours in a crystal container, letting it stand in the sunlight and the moonlight, which followed thereafter.
He returns to the centre and then standing with his hands outstretched to his side, his head thrown back and his face turned up to the full bursting moon, he starts to murmur a soft, mesmerizing incantation. He ignores the shadows, which have gathered and were now watching him curiously.
Thousands of crows turn the grass around the perimeter of the monument into a shimmering sea of black glimmering feathers. The crows congregate in haphazard groups, but their heads are all directed toward Kieran. Their gleaming, black beady eyes focus on Kieran’s every move.
The moon rises higher and higher into the night sky as he continues to murmur softly, and then with a sudden quiver in the air around him, the crows all fly into the sky as one. The noise is deafening, and they block out the glare of the iridescent moon. The hundreds upon hundreds of black birds flapping in the air around him turn the night dark.
Curiously, his eyes follow the crows and he watches them fly away toward the east. Multitudes of crows fill the horizon.
Then he feels it. There is a shift in the air around him, which knocks him off his feet. He falls onto his hands and knees. Despondently he lowers his head between his arms as he feels rage fill him to the core. He feels his spirit go numb and his soul go cold as hatred fills his heart.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
While Kieran casts the circle and prepares everything for the ritual, I am waiting with Jayden at a hotel not far from the monument.
My stomach grumbles discontentedly, and I hold my hand to it as I feel it spasm. “I am hungry,” I complain.
Jayden says apologetically, “It is because you have not eaten all day.” He shakes his head in disbelieve and mumbles, “I do not know why Kieran insisted on this. Starving yourself does nothing to make your awareness any greater.”
Unsure, I ask hesitantly, “Must I go and have a bath now?”
He nods his head unhappily. “I have added a few drops of ylang-ylang, it will help you to relax.”
I walk into the bathroom, with Jayden following me. I turn to him, frowning and then I smile, trying to lighten the depressing mood, which is threatening to suffocate me. “Excuse me. You can leave now.”
He smiles widely and pulls the door closed behind me. I lock the door.
Dropping my clothes on the floor, I test the water with my toes. It is a perfect temperature and I get in completely. I sit down and then as I lean back, the water rushes over me. The fragrance of the drops of essential oil fills the whole bathroom and I breathe it in deeply.
I feel uncomfortable though, lying in the bath naked with the shadows swirling above my head like a thundercloud ready to burst.
This thought propels me out of the bath, and hurriedly I dry myself and then I pull the long loose cotton dress over my head. I look like a virgin being led to slaughter; I grimace when I see my reflection in the mirror.
When I walk back into the hotel room, Jayden is standing by the window, staring reflec
tively across the green hills, into the distance.
He smiles when he sees me. “You look pretty.”
“No, I don’t. This thing is ridiculous.” I pull it away from my body with both hands. “I look awful.”
“We still have some time before we have to go. I thought you would be in the bath for longer.”
“It’s creepy being in a bath with all those things.” I pull my face sourly and glance up at the ceiling.
He sits down on the bed and smiling invitingly, he pats the mattress next to him.
I walk to him and sit down next to him.
He looks at me with a worried look. “What if this doesn’t work?”
I assure him, although I am feeling unsure myself, “I’ll be okay.”
“He is giving them your soul so that the curse will be broken. If it does not work, you will die.”
My voice wobbles a little. “I’ll be okay.”
“No. It does not help when you keep saying that, what if you are not okay. The curse will be broken, and Kieran and I will grow old and eventually die, but what would life be like without the prospect of you ever coming back? Through all the years, when you have died, I always knew it was temporary and I would see you again. I was prepared to wait through the years until I could sense you again. Now, there is the possibility I will never see you again.” He turns to me, and his eyes are begging me silently. His lips say, “Don’t do it.”
“But I must, there is no choice.”
“Yes, there is.”
“No, Jayden. We need to break the curse. You and Kieran will be free, and if we are lucky, so will I.”
“There is one more thing.”
I look at him inquisitively, waiting for him to speak.
“I love you, Heather.”
I smile sadly. “I know you do. If you didn’t, we wouldn’t be in this dilemma.”
“Even if I said before that I only used to love you.” He takes my hand into his and looks down at our hands nestled in each other. “I was only trying to guard myself against my feelings for you. Every single time you got back, I have loved you more and deeper. After the last time, I just wanted the curse to be broken. I was tired of fighting against Kieran for your love, so I promised him, I would not convince you to love me in return and you would then choose him over me, but now I do not want it to be over anymore. I would rather you came back repeatedly and love me, as you always do.”
Timeless (ForNever) Page 15
