by Dylann Crush
“You don’t happen to have a copy of that article, do you?” Alex asked.
“Sure. I’m finished with the paper if you want to hang on to it.” The man reached into the seat pocket in front of him.
“Thanks.” Alex flipped through it until he came to the article about Ido and the high-profile wedding they were hosting at the Phillips House. The reporter didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. The article mentioned the penguins, then went on to talk about the wedding planner flying all the way in from LA. At the bottom it said something about how the penguins were being housed with dogs from For Pitties’ Sake. That part was true, but not the paragraph that followed. Alex read the short bit twice. According to the reporter, the original shelter had been condemned and was going to be torn down. It went on to say the director of the rescue was unavailable for comment but that they’d be following up to make sure visitors to the Phillips House weren’t at risk.
At risk of what?
Alex had heard Zina talk about how the dogs at the rescue were misunderstood. He’d been around them for weeks and hadn’t seen a single reason to be wary of the breed. What was she going to do without the shelter? She couldn’t keep the rescue dogs at the warehouse forever. With everything else going on, did she even know about not being able to move back to the shelter yet?
His heart thudded, a deep, hollow pounding in his chest. She’d be devastated when she found out. He needed to be there for her. Thoughts of hiding away in the Caymans dissipated. He needed to get back to Ido, and the sooner the better.
“You okay?” The older man glanced over, probably wondering what had gotten into Alex in the past couple of minutes.
“I will be.” Alex took in a shaky breath. He’d never been so certain of anything. “Once I get back to Ido and prevent myself from making the biggest mistake of my life.”
thirty-three
Alex hadn’t slept in over thirty hours. As soon as he’d landed in Miami, he tried to get the next flight back to Houston. Everything was full, which meant he had to wait until the next day to try again.
Zina must have turned off her phone because every time he called, it went straight to voice mail. He’d screwed up. Big-time. He’d been so afraid of getting stuck and feeling trapped that he’d let it get in the way of enjoying what they’d been building together. When he heard about the shelter being condemned all he wanted to do was go to her, offer some comfort, and figure out a way to help.
Spending twenty-four hours bouncing around airports had given him plenty of time to think. He’d never wanted to turn out like his dad. His parents hadn’t been together very long when his mom got pregnant with Char. He’d always figured his dad felt trapped into marriage and given up his dream of traveling the world to get a job and support his unexpected family. Hearing his dad talk about the places he’d always wanted to visit, with that wistful tone in his voice, made Alex vow that he’d never let his dreams get derailed by a moment of emotion.
But now, he realized what he didn’t know way back then. It didn’t have to be an all-or-nothing choice. He could have both. Alex realized he didn’t have to push Zina away. She wasn’t the one trying to trap him. He’d done that to himself by being so shortsighted he couldn’t see what a good thing they had going between them.
That’s why he had to get back to her. He had to tell her how he felt. Before it was too late.
The truck he’d retrieved at the airport bounced over the dips and divots in the gravel drive leading up to the Phillips House. The garland he’d spray-painted still graced the front fence line. Had that just been a couple of days ago when he and Zina were working together?
He pulled into the lot and headed toward the Phillips House. With any luck Zina would be cleaning up after the wedding and he’d find her inside. If not, he had no idea what he’d do next.
The front door opened and he made his way to the kitchen. Gramps stood at the sink with Herbie on the rug next to him.
“Hey.” Alex set his keys down on the counter and Gramps turned to face him. Suds covered his lower arms, up to his elbows.
“Well, I’ll be.”
“Zina around?” Alex asked. He could catch up with Gramps later. Right now there was only one person he needed to see.
Gramps shook his head. “Not that I know of. I haven’t seen her since yesterday.”
“She hasn’t been in to check on the dogs?” Alex asked.
“No. I told her she deserved a few days off and that I’d keep an eye on them. If she’s not at home, I don’t know where she’d be. Speaking of, where the hell have you been?”
“It’s a long story, Gramps.” Alex reached down and ran a hand over Herbie’s head. “Can we catch up later?”
“I suppose. Your sister’s coming day after tomorrow to check me in to that jail for old people. Said no way would she honor a promise you made.” Gramps turned around and muttered, “Figures.”
Alex shook his head. “Everything’s going to change.”
“What do you mean?”
“No Water’s Edge for you. We’ll move out to the ranch, just like you wanted.”
Gramps turned, his pale blue eyes starting to water. “Herbie, too?” The dog returned to his side, tail wagging.
Alex swallowed the lump in his throat. “Herbie and the damn bird can come as well. Zeb, too, if he wants.”
“Damn bird, damn bird,” the annoying parrot said.
Alex glanced over to where Shiner Bock perched on the swing hanging from the middle of his wire cage.
“Well it’s about time you got your head out of your ass.” Gramps dropped the pan he’d been scrubbing into the soapy water. A deluge of suds flew up and covered him in bubbles. “Give me a hug.”
Alex fought back a rise of emotion as Gramps came at him covered in suds. He wrapped his arms around the older man’s shoulders and held him close for a beat. This was what it meant to be there for family . . . to hold tight, even when it meant letting go of things that didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. “Now I’ve got to go find Zina. If all goes well, Herbie will have a lot of company out at the ranch.”
“What are you waiting for? Go.” Gramps flung a hand toward the door, sending bubbles everywhere.
Alex grinned, happy to be back in the good graces of his grandfather. That had gone better than he expected. One down, one to go. He feared sucking up to Zina would require quite a bit more effort.
After checking the warehouse and driving by her place, he had no idea where to go next. It was getting late. She had to be somewhere close. Unless she’d pulled a move like he had and tried to run away at the first sign of trouble. Zina wasn’t like him though. That’s what he loved most about her.
He hadn’t wanted to open himself up to major criticism yet, but with no other choice, he pulled up Lacey’s number. If anyone knew what was going on with Zina, it would have to be her best friend.
“What do you want?” Lacey’s tone didn’t just hold an edge of a chill. He felt like the tip of his ear might actually suffer from frostbite, just from hearing her speak.
“I’m looking for Zina. Do you know where she is?”
“No. But even if I did, why would I tell you?”
He sighed. “I messed up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“But I’m back and I want to fix things.”
“You’re back in town? I thought you took off. Your sister said you were headed to Cuba or something.”
“Grand Cayman. But then I came to my senses and hopped the next flight back. Now I need to find Zina and apologize.”
“You hurt her, asshole. She’s better off without you.”
“I know.” Lacey spoke the truth on both counts. He’d been a giant dick and he didn’t deserve her. But he had to try.
His agreement must have caught Lacey a bit off guard. Her voice wasn’t quite so frosty wh
en she asked, “So, if you know, why do you want to find her?”
“Because I need to apologize and see if she’ll give me another chance.” He was wasting time. “Do you know where she is or not? I’ve checked the house and she’s not at the warehouse. It’s late and I’m worried.”
Lacey let out a huff. “Don’t make me regret telling you. If you hurt her again, I’ll hunt you down. I’ll rip out your heart and feed it to the penguins for breakfast.”
Alex chuckled. “Aren’t you on strict bed rest?”
“I’ll send Bodie. If you’re not scared of me, you ought to be scared of him.”
“I have no intention of hurting her. She deserves an apology. After that, what happens next will be entirely up to her.” He’d already decided if she told him to leave her the hell alone he’d abide by her wishes. But he planned on doing his best to convince her that they needed a second chance.
The silence seemed to drag on forever. Finally, Lacey sighed. “Did you check the shelter?”
“I thought it was condemned.”
“Yeah. But if I know Zina, she’s probably over there trying to salvage what she can before they bulldoze it to the ground.”
Alex hit the heel of his hand against his forehead. Of course. “I haven’t been over there but I’m going to swing by now. If you hear from her, will you let me know?”
“Yes. And, Alex?”
“Yeah?” He was already moving toward the door.
“Don’t be a dick.”
“I promise.” He disconnected and shoved his phone in his pocket. If he wanted to make things right with Zina, he’d need to show her he was willing to commit. She wouldn’t believe him if he made more hollow promises.
With the tiniest seedling of an idea sprouting in his mind, he headed back to the warehouse to grab a few things before he tracked her down.
* * *
* * *
“Come on, Aurora.” Zina still couldn’t believe she’d let Alex’s niece talk her into naming the dog after a princess, especially a cartoon princess. Thankfully, she’d cleared most of the supplies from the shelter over the past few weeks. Once the announcement they were condemning the building and going to raze it to the ground came out, someone must have broken in and taken anything left worth saving. The walls were still standing, at least for now, but the spirit of the rescue had disappeared when she had to move the dogs.
She knew in her heart she’d done her best to rehome and relocate as many of the dogs as possible, but she still felt like she’d failed them. She’d spent so much time and effort on that wedding that she’d neglected what really mattered. Being around Alex had blinded her. She’d been so caught up in finally feeling like she had something worth working toward with him that she’d lost track of her priorities.
With Alex out of the picture and the loss of the shelter, it was too much. Her brother seemed to be in a good enough place now that maybe they could find somewhere else to go. Listening to Alex talk about his adventures made her realize she didn’t have to stay put. She could load up the couple of pups she had left and she and Zeb could try to find a job somewhere, anywhere, as long as it was far from Ido and gave her the chance to work with animals.
Bottom line was, there wasn’t anything or anyone but Lacey holding her to Ido now. And with her and Bodie about to have their first kid, Zina wouldn’t even have a chance to spend much time with them anyhow. Seemed as good a time as any to pick up her shallow roots and try to plant them somewhere else.
She’d almost finished gathering the few things worth saving when a noise came from out front. Sounded like someone was pulling into the lot. There was no need for anyone to be out here, especially this late. She crept to the front office and felt around in a desk drawer for something she could use to defend herself. Coming up empty, she wrapped her hand around the first thing she grabbed—a stapler—and held it at the ready.
“What now?” Zina whispered to the dog. Aurora’s ears perked, and she cocked her head one way, then the next. “Some watchdog you are.”
Something scuffled on the gravel outside. Aurora let out a bark, and the sound receded. Armed with the stapler and her phone’s flashlight app, Zina peered through the window. No one was there. Feeling like a fool, she pulled open the door and looked outside. She glanced to her right, then swung her gaze to the left. Nothing. Then her gaze came to rest on the ground.
A stuffed penguin sat two feet in front of her . . . not more than a foot tall. Was this someone’s idea of a joke? She almost slammed the door but then noticed a tag hanging from around the stuffed animal’s neck. She reached for it and read the handwritten note.
I made a mistake and now I know. How wrong I was to let you go.
Zina let the penguin drop to her side. Alex? He wasn’t that cheesy, was he? A quick glance around didn’t reveal anything out of place. She stepped outside. Aurora ran toward something in the darkness up ahead.
“Aurora, come back.” The dog leapt up, jumping at something, no, make that someone.
Alex came toward the front door, triggering the motion sensor to activate the front floodlight. He dropped to one knee in front of her and reached for her hand.
She jerked it away before he could touch her. “What are you doing here?” Her pulse kicked up so high it felt like a percussion section had started playing a private concert inside her chest.
“I’m literally on my knees, begging you to forgive me.” He looked like shit. Shit that had sat out all day and warmed up in the Texas sun. His hair shot out in all directions like he’d been running his hands through it all day. Dark circles stood out under his eyes.
“Get up.” She turned her back on him and headed toward the door, wanting to put some sort of barrier between them. She supposed the glass door would have to do.
He struggled to his feet and caught her hand. “Please give me a chance to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain.” She turned toward him and crossed her arms over her chest. “You bailed.”
Biting his lip, he nodded. “You’re right. There’s no excuse for me leaving. Especially not the way I did. I’m sorry about the shelter.”
“I guess you heard. Joke’s on me, isn’t it? The whole reason I went into this was to try to save the shelter. And now they’re tearing it down anyway.” It was too much. She hadn’t begun to process Alex walking out on her and now she had to deal with losing the shelter, too. She slumped against the doorway and let the tears finally come.
“Come here.” Alex opened up his arms. She didn’t want to lean on him. He’d done nothing but cause pain, but he moved closer, and before she could turn away, she’d plastered herself against him, holding on for dear life as waves of grief washed over her.
It was an ugly cry. A snot-running-down-the-nose, T-shirt-soaking outpouring of emotion.
“It’s okay.” His palm smoothed over her back while he murmured soothing words against her ear. “It’s all going to be okay.”
She fought with herself between wanting to knee him in the groin and leave him writhing on the floor and needing to take the comfort he offered. When it seemed like she could pull back and face him without bursting into tears again, she broke the embrace.
“You okay?” he asked.
She wanted to tell him she’d never be okay again but instead she nodded, not wanting to let him see her in her weakened, pathetic state. “I’ll be fine. Don’t you have a plane to catch?”
“No. I did. I mean, I got a ticket to Grand Cayman and flew to Miami but then it hit me.”
She’d like to hit him. But she also wanted to find out what big revelation he thought he’d experienced. “And?”
He took her hands in his. “And I don’t want to run. Not this time. Not from you.”
Her lungs failed her and she took in a shaky breath. “But you did.”
“I know. I spooked.”
He shrugged. “I felt stuck, like I’d backed myself into a corner.”
“Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?”
“That’s just it.” He squeezed her hands. She’d missed the contact. Even though he’d been gone less than forty-eight hours, it felt like forever since they’d touched. “It was all me. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to get attached. I watched my dad give up his dreams because he got trapped. I didn’t want that to happen to me.”
“God forbid you find love. You’re right, what a horrible way to make sure you’re miserable for the rest of your life.”
“Would you let me finish apologizing? Someone told me once that it doesn’t count unless I say the actual words.”
For the first time, the crushing feeling around her heart eased. “Whoever said that sounds super smart.”
“She is.” He squeezed her hands together. “Zina Baxter, I failed you and I’m so incredibly sorry. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Will you please accept my apology and give me another chance?”
“What happens if you get spooked again?”
He pressed something into her hands. “Here’s my passport. I want you to hang on to it for as long as it takes for you to feel like I’m not going to run out on you again.”
“Alex, I can’t take this. I don’t want it. You shouldn’t feel bound to me because you can’t leave. If you want to make this work, you have to make the choice every day that you want to stay.”
“I figured you might say something like that so I brought you this, too.” He held out a clicker, just like the one he’d used to train the penguins. “Let’s work on this together. Anytime I get out of hand you can put me back in my place with a click.” He demonstrated by pressing on the thin metal strip.
“Can I train you to feed the dogs and pooper scoop by clicking on the magic clicker?”
