The thought still sent a shaft of hopeless rage through him. How anyone who had perpetrated such evil in his life should die happy absolutely beggared belief.
“I wouldn’t have even known that someone could die in such a manner, that such a thing was possible…” Livie’s voice trailed off, and she looked delightfully embarrassed to be discussing such a thing. “So how did you end up the owner of this residence? I’m surprised it wasn’t entailed in the inheritance.”
“The only property entailed was the ducal seat,” Seb answered with a half smile. “By the time of his death, the duke owed over fifty thousand pounds to me, without realizing it.”
Livie drew in a sharp breath. “Fifty thousand pounds? Goodness, that is a fortune many times over.”
“It is,” Seb agreed. “The man’s arrogance knew no bounds. He thought because of his position in Society that his bank would continue lending him money, having no idea I’m a majority owner of his bank, which was no coincidence at all. I’d given explicit instructions that the bank was to refuse to extend the duke any further credit or any extensions to his loans. I was then going to have all of his debts called in, which would have bankrupted him completely.”
“That must have taken a lot of planning.” She cast him a veiled glance, and he couldn’t tell what she was thinking from her expression.
“Several years actually.” He could feel the muscle in his jaw twitch from what had ended up being a futile endeavor. “But in the end, after he wasn’t alive to ruin, I realized that bankrupting his estate wasn’t worth it. It wouldn’t just be affecting him, it would affect a lot of innocent people, too. His servants, his tenants, and even his heir and daughter.”
“Your half brother and sister.”
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t want to be a party to ruining them, did you?” The corners of her mouth turned up as she beamed at him. “That’s why nothing is known about the new duke becoming bankrupt, because you didn’t bankrupt him, did you?”
“No, I didn’t,” Seb flatly told her. It was best he cut her short from thinking he was some goddamn hero when he was anything but. “He wasn’t to blame for the sins of his father. Even if both of our blood is tainted by his.”
“That doesn’t make you tainted.”
Seb laughed, cold and hard. “That is exactly what I am. My half brother is as ruthless as I am. He simply disguises it better, behind a veneer of social acceptability and manners. But both of us have a darkness inside that we can’t fully disguise.”
“That’s the biggest load of rubbish,” she said.
“Excuse me?” Had she really just accused him of bullshit, but in a much more civilized manner?
“Just because your father was an evil man does not make you or your brother evil.”
“Stop being a bloody dreamer.” Seb dragged a hand through his hair. “I’m not a good man, Livie. For God’s sake, you know I’ve killed people. Only a few hours ago, in fact. What do you call that? Saintly behavior?”
“They were bad men, Sebastian,” Livie replied, narrowing her eyes on him as she raised her chin. “They kidnapped Charlotte and me, and were going to do a lot worse to us. One can hardly blame you for ridding the world of men such as that.”
“You can try to justify it all you want,” Seb replied. “It doesn’t change that I am a murderer.”
“That might be true, but many men are murderers and are labeled heroes for it. Men kill blindly in times of war, simply because the other soldiers are the enemy. Is that not murder, too?”
“Killing is justified in times of war.”
“Why? Because it’s been declared a war, and hence killing of the enemy is not only sanctioned but supported? Decorated, in fact?”
“Yes. That’s exactly why.” Suddenly, he felt the need to pace. He bolted up from his chair and began to prowl around the room. There was a restless energy coursing through him that he didn’t know how to get rid of.
“Well, in my eyes, that’s worse.” She stood and strode over and grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Killing someone simply because of who they are and not what they’ve done is wrong. And though I don’t believe in killing anyone, I’m realistic enough to know there are some truly evil people in the world, Sebastian. And yes, they deserve to die. But you’re not one of them! You might be ruthless, hard, and uncompromising, but you’re not truly evil. A lot of what you did when you were younger was for your survival. People can do terrible things when they’re forced to.”
“No one ever forced me to do things,” Seb growled. “I became the meanest son-of-a-bitch around so I couldn’t be forced to do what some of the other boys in the neighborhood were being forced to do.”
“You were a child, Seb.” Her voice was like a gentle breath, soothing him as it washed around him. “You did what you had to.”
The feel of her hand gripping his was like a lifeline. And he didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt the need to stay holding tightly to her and never let go. “A lot of what I did when I was younger was to gain power and control.”
“I know.” She gave his hand a little squeeze. “Power and control, in the environment you were in, meant survival.”
“You’re romanticizing it, Livie.”
“Maybe,” she conceded. “But I believe it. I know within my heart that underneath everything, your reputation, the myths, the shadows, you are a good man.”
There was such vehemence to her statement that Seb believed her. Or at least believed she believed it. And if she meant what she said, then she didn’t think him to be the monster that most others did. Though that definitely suggested she was looking at him with rose-colored glasses. But it didn’t matter, and he quite desperately wanted her to always look at him as she was right now.
“You really think anyone with that man’s blood can be good?” he asked, a part of him wanting to desperately believe such a thing but doubting it.
“Of course I do. How you choose to live your life, especially now, is your choice, Seb. Neither you, nor your half brother, are the evil men your father was. Well, at least as far as I’m aware with Dalkeith.” A curious expression flared to life in her eyes. “I must say, apart from the differences in your hair color, you and Lord Dalkeith do resemble each other remarkably, and have a very similar physique. I think he keeps himself fit with boxing and sports, as you must.”
He raised an eyebrow, still holding on to her hands, unwilling to quite let go yet. “You think I’m fit in my appearance, do you, my lady?”
She blinked several times, and her jaw went slack. “I um…I suppose so, not that I’ve been paying much attention. Not really. Well, maybe just a little…”
“Forgive me.” He chuckled. “I don’t mean to embarrass you. Though it is rather delightful.”
An expression of vexation replaced her embarrassment, as she pulled her hands from his and crossed them over her chest, glaring at him in displeasure. “I am so glad to be of some amusement to you.”
“Amusement to me?” That was somewhat understating everything she’d been to him since she’d come into his life. “A pain in my backside and a worry to me is more accurate, I’d say.”
“I’m the pain in the backside?” she exclaimed. “You’re one of the most obstinate men I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you, my dear.” Seb took a bow. “Always nice to know one’s special qualities are appreciated.”
“Oh, they’re appreciated all right.” There was fire in her eyes, and right at that moment Seb wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss her. “Like a thousand thorns in a rosebush is how much I appreciate them.”
Seb laughed. He couldn’t help it; she looked so damn adorable standing there and chastising him. “Who would’ve thought I’d actually enjoy talking with a duke’s daughter, even when she’s admonishing me.”
“That’s the sec
ond time you’ve said that. Do you really enjoy my company?”
Abruptly, he stopped laughing and simply stared at her. “More than anyone else’s.” And in an instant, the atmosphere between them changed, almost as if there was a charge of electricity in the air. “It’s not the only thing I enjoy about you.”
Livie bit the bottom of her lip. “It’s not?”
“No, it most definitely is not.”
He couldn’t help himself. He took a step toward her, and his mouth came down upon hers as his arms circled her waist. Seb kissed her as if he were a dying man, drowning in the depths of the softness of her lips, and reveling at the soft press of her body against the hardness of his.
Chapter Forty
Seb was kissing her again and it was pure bliss.
Livie wound her arms around his neck as his lips pressed against hers, nibbling, tasting, and softly biting on her own. She moaned in response, enjoying the sensation more than she’d ever enjoyed anything before.
“You entice me like no other,” Seb murmured against her mouth, his hands circling down low over her buttocks, softly caressing the flesh through the material of her dressing gown and sending little shivers of delight dancing along her skin.
She didn’t think she could string a sentence together even if she tried; her heart was racing and her whole body felt like it would just melt into a puddle on the floor, consumed as she was by everything that was Sebastian. His scent. His touch. His taste. She wanted more. She wanted all of him.
Lowering his head to her neck, he slowly trailed kisses down the column of her throat, each press of his lips against her skin burning like a hot poker, until she was feverish from the thrill. Then he lifted her from her feet and strode over to the armchair. He sat upon it, with her in his lap.
“Is that more comfortable for your leg?” Seb asked, slowly tracing his right hand over her hip and up her waist, until it was gently cupping the underside of her breast through the fabric.
Livie nodded and cleared her throat slightly, touched he’d considered such a thing. “It is, thank you.”
A smile twisted across his face and, being this close to him, Livie felt completely trapped in his gaze. Her hand reached up to cup his cheek and she felt the scar on his face underneath her palm. She pulled her hand slowly away and then did what she’d been wanting to since she met him—she began to trace her fingers across the length of his scar.
Seb flinched slightly but made no move to push her hand away, so she continued exploring the length of it, her touch as light as a feather. His scar felt rough under her skin and had to be a good four inches long. Livie ached at the thought of how it must have truly hurt him when he’d received it. It was lucky it hadn’t blinded him, ending as it did just under the corner of his eye.
“Did it hurt?” she asked.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Like the bloody devil. But I was only ten when it happened, and things tend to seem more exaggerated as a child.”
Reaching her head up to his cheek, her lips replaced her fingers, and then slowly and delicately, she started to kiss along the jagged edge of the line, all the way from the corner of his eye down the angled planes of his cheekbone to his chin.
“It doesn’t bother you?” he whispered roughly against her cheek.
“How could it bother me?” She pulled her head back and looked him straight in the eyes. “It’s part of who you are. And I lo—like everything about you.” Oh goodness, for a minute she’d almost had a slip of the tongue and said love instead. How embarrassing that would have been. Not that she loved him. Obviously, passion was clouding her mind and she wasn’t thinking properly.
“Really?” His voice was rife with skepticism, and he arched his eyebrow at her, in just such a way that had her sigh. “Even my obstinate ways?”
“Even those…mostly.”
Seb laughed before his lips found hers again and kissed the very breath from her. She reached behind his neck and pulled him even closer to her, wanting more of him, all of him. Then his mouth began to explore, trailing hot kisses along her jaw, across the lobe of her ear, and down her neck.
His fingers joined his mouth along the neckline of her silk nightgown, gently unbuttoning the little buttons at her throat and pushing aside the material. With each inch of her décolletage being exposed, he brushed his lips against her heated flesh as his hands deftly continued to unfasten the rest of the garment until it slipped from her shoulders and she was left sitting there on his lap in nothing but her chemise and drawers.
For a moment Livie felt like covering her arms across her body, for even though she was still mostly covered, she felt completely exposed and vulnerable, never before having been seen in her undergarments by anyone apart from her maid.
But when she looked into Sebastian’s eyes and saw the absolute desire in his expression as he stared hungrily at her, she felt emboldened like never before. Emboldened enough to take hold of the bottom of her chemise and pull it off over her head. She sat there proudly before him, her upper body bared to his gaze, her nipples tightening.
He groaned, and his eyes looked heavy. His head slowly began lowering toward her chest but then he paused. “I don’t know if we should do this—”
“Shh,” she interrupted, wrapping her arms around the back of his head and drawing him down to her waiting breast. “Let’s not think of anything apart from enjoying this moment.”
Seb took in a shaky breath, almost as if he were fighting himself, but then he jerked his head in a nod, and his hand reach down and cupped her breast.
Livie had never felt anything more deliciously scandalous. She arched her back and moaned deeply.
He squeezed and kneaded her flesh in his palm, his fingers deftly caressing her nipple. Seb lifted his hand from her breast, and she was about to protest until he lowered his head and flicked his tongue across her nipple. Ecstasy rippled through her as he teased the nub until it was as hard as a pebble.
She whimpered and twined her hands in his hair, urging his mouth closer to her flesh. He obliged and took her nipple into his mouth, sucking and kissing her breast until she thought she might pass out from the pleasure.
Livie couldn’t help but moan again. His touch made her feel so intensely alive and was sending the most delightful sensations of longing through her. She was panting by the time he straightened and raised his head. Then his eyes found hers, staring at her with such intensity that she began to think something was amiss.
“We’ve got to stop,” he said, his voice husky but his hands staying firmly upon her waist, supporting her from tumbling from his lap, dazed as she felt from the intense sensations.
“Why?” Her heart dropped. Stopping was the last thing she wanted, but perhaps he wasn’t enjoying it as she was? “Do you not want to keep going?”
He groaned and gently bent down to rest his chin on the top of her head. “Of course I want to keep going. I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. That’s the problem.”
Hearing that he wanted her gave Livie a sense of euphoria. He wanted her. She’d never had a man want her before, and it was entirely intoxicating. And though she was scared for him to see her leg, she realized quite desperately how much she wanted to experience what it felt like to be a woman. What it felt like to be Sebastian’s woman, at least for a night. Especially when she knew she was never going to marry.
“I want you too, Sebastian,” she quietly stated.
Hope flared in his eyes, but then a shuttered expression closed down upon them. “You’re not the sort of girl one tangles with, Livie. You and I can never be. You do understand that, don’t you?”
She took in a deep breath, very aware of the truth in his words. “Of course I do. I also know I will never marry. Which means the only way I will ever know what it’s like to experience physical pleasure is right here. Right now. With you.”
Boldly, she reac
hed up to the buttons of his shirt, and with a quick flick of her fingers she unbuttoned the top button, her hand brushing across his bare skin underneath.
Seb sucked in a sharp breath. “What are you doing?”
“Enjoying myself,” she replied, continuing to undo all of the remaining buttons. “Probably for the first time in my life. Besides, you unbuttoned my nightgown. I think it only fair I repay the favor. Don’t you?” Her hand trembled slightly as she came to the last button and opened his shirt fully, exposing the hard planes of his abdomen and upper body, and the dragon boldly tattooed on his upper right chest.
She marveled at it and in seeing the broad expanse of his chest, lightly covered with a scattering of golden chest hair. Livie hadn’t really seen a man’s chest before, and Seb’s was a mighty fine specimen to behold; thrilling in fact. “Did it hurt getting such a tattoo on your chest?” It was a bold black dragon, staring defiantly at her.
“A little.” He shrugged. “But it meant I belonged and protected me in a sense.”
“It’s magnificent.” Reaching her hands up the muscular expanse of his chest, Livie skimmed her hands across his ridiculously wide shoulders before slipping them under his shirt and pushing it off his torso until he was bare from the waist up.
Livie could have sighed, for he looked so very masculine and delectable, but then she noticed the enormous number of scars and old wounds marring his bronzed skin. Some small, others a great deal larger.
Her fingers traced over them and she began to kiss each and every one.
He exhaled harshly.
“Damn it, Livie. I’ve always had a code to never seduce an innocent young woman. I don’t ever want to disrespect a woman.”
She paused kissing each of his old wounds and raised her head. “How could showing me pleasure and seeing my wishes fulfilled ever be disrespectful? I am a grown woman, Sebastian. Not some young debutante, who has no idea of what she’s doing or that she is being unknowingly seduced and debauched.” Livie licked her lips, which were feeling suddenly dry. Was she really about to try to convince the Bastard of Baker Street to pleasure her? Could she really give him her virginity?
The Bachelor Bargain Page 26
