Her stomach twisted as the truth of his words sank in. “Then let’s hope Sebastian is smart enough to keep his mouth shut about the only kiss we’ve ever shared.”
Ember finally tore her eyes from the water to shift her gaze to the boy standing beside her. It wasn’t completely the truth given she and Sebastian had shared another kiss before he jumped into battle, but she knew mentioning that would only cause more trouble than good.
It didn’t slip her mind how angry he’d been when he and the twins had found them in a scandalizing position. With the attack, they hadn’t had the chance to clear the air. “It was only one kiss, Asher. Nothing more happened with Sebastian. We both know I was to return home with you after the curse was broken and I wasn’t going to see him again. Nothing more was ever going to happen except a kiss between us.” She said, though she wasn’t even sure if she believed herself about that last part.
She couldn’t tell him what they both knew. If him and the twins hadn’t come in when they had, if there had been no storm or attack? The chances of that the kiss might have turned into something very different would be very high. She wanted to say she had more control over herself, but she couldn’t ignore the need she’d felt for Sebastian. She craved his touch, she still did. She couldn’t explain that to Asher though. Not when she knew how he felt about her.
While her feelings for him since the night of the attack had changed, she wasn’t so sure his had changed where she was concerned. It didn’t miss her attention how his jaw twitched or how his fists clenched at his sides. He was angry, angrier than she knew he should have been if he truly hated her.
“Was the kiss we shared only a fantasy of yours? A kiss to satisfy your curiousness? Did you and Malia gossip about it, or did you truly feel something when I kissed you that night? Would anything have ever come from it if none of this had happened?” He asked.
His glare finally shifted to her as he waited for an answer.
It seemed so long ago that the night he was talking about happened. She was no longer the girl who’d giggled and blushed as he held her hand and led her down the dark staircase. The days she had dreamed of him professing his love for her were no longer what she wanted.
Now it was someone else she wished would give her a similar speech, but she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t tell him she wasn’t the girl he’d charmed on his boat that night as they watched the stars before he’d surprised her with her first kiss. She couldn’t be that loveblinded girl he’d kissed on the stairs with promises of spending another night like this soon. Everything about their time spent together was so innocent, so pure, but that wasn’t her life anymore.
Asher wasn’t the man she needed any more.
She’d explored a small speck of what the world could offer her. She sailed from one place to the next with strangers she didn’t know. She’d met people who didn’t fit into the mold of what she had always known was expected for her to fit into. Ari taught her how women could be strong and how she didn’t need a man to save her. Ophelia taught her that the world was bigger than what she saw through her window. Her eyes were opened when she saw the horrors of the world and how cruel people could be, but she’d also seen the hidden treasures like Stellara and the beauty of what peace there could be if people would just try.
Then there was Sebastian, who showed her how it felt to truly crave someone. Ember had met a man that challenged her and made her question everything. He didn’t treat her as if she was some fragile gem that needed to be protected at all costs. He let her fight her battles and help him fight his. She wanted to be near him, make him laugh, hold his hand when he was hurting. She wanted to feel that fire in her stomach when he looked at her like she was truly something beautiful.
Sebastian wanted to open the world to her, wanted to show her everything that had been kept from her, her entire life.
Part of her was tempted to let him.
How could she explain any of that to Asher? Asher had been her first love, her first kiss, and she’d never forget that. He helped her survive life at the prison that was her home. Asher was the boy she needed during that time, but he wasn’t who she needed now. Ember just wasn’t sure she could tell him that or how she even would without crushing him. He was still waiting for an answer though and she knew she had to give him one.
“I was never supposed to be yours to begin with, Asher. It was always planned for me to marry Cassius. The kiss we shared that night? It was beautiful, Asher. It was pure and everything I had ever wanted at the time, but nothing would have come from it. You never would have pursued me because it would have hurt your brother. Neither would I have pursued you for the same reason. We loved him too much to go behind his back and betray him like that.” Her voice didn’t crack with emotion as she spoke, her gaze never leaving his as she stood strong.
“What if Cassius wasn’t a factor?” He asked, his question catching her off guard.
Her face scrunched up in confusion. “He’s the legitimate son of your father, Asher. He’s next in line to become king. There isn’t a realistic scenario where he isn’t a factor in what could have been if we hadn’t found out the truth, but we d o know now. Playing what if isn’t going to change that we’re not the same people we were the night we left Iron Kress. I’m not the same person.”
Asher’s gaze darted away from her, choosing to returnto the ocean instead. He didn’t like her answer, but it wouldn’t change that it was true. Guilt hit her as she watched him. He had grown up in his little brother’s shadow, always being reminded he would never be more. He would never be king or marry the woman he wanted. Every time someone called him the bastard prince, or simply just the bastard, he was being reminded of his place in this life. It was cruel and unfair, but this wasn’t new for him.
As sad as it was to admit, he knew better than to dream of any other possibility.
“I’m not saying that to hurt you, Asher. I just …. we’ve been told this is how it’s going to be since we were old enough to talk. This isn’t some secret you weren’t let in on. My father told me they were going to make the engagement announcement at the party during the toast. It was happening and there was nothing we could do to stop it. I was going to be his bride, become some kind of breeder so I’d produce a few heirs before he started his reign so your bloodline would continue and so would the curse. We all had a role to play, I just stopped playing when Sebastian took me away from it.” She said, her gaze shifting to the ocean as if it was safer choice between looking at him and it.
Ember wasn’t sure where Ophelia had gone, or what she was doing, but she suddenly wished the Princess would interrupt. This conversation needed to happen between them, but it didn’t mean she enjoyed having it. It broke her to tear apart his heart like this.
Silence had fallen over them for a few minutes before Asher broke it as he spoke.
“Do you love him?”
She knew he didn’t mean Cassius.
A heavy sigh left her lips as her shoulders pushed back, her spine straightening before she turned to look at him again. “No, but I think I could someday. I’m hoping I get the chance to live long enough to find out.”
Asher turned his head, his gaze shifting back to her. She tried to give him a small attempt at a smile as she reached over and entwined their fingers. “I want you to find love too, Asher. I want you to be happy and meet someone who is your equal in every way. That’s what I’ve always wanted for you.” She said softly, wishing he’d somehow find it in his heart to understand what she was trying to explain.
“What if I already had her and she just hasn’t realized it yet?” He said, his eyes staring into her soul as he tried to make his meaning clear.
Her body tensed when she understood exactly what he meant. He thought she was in denial, that she loved him and just didn’t want to admit it to him or herself.
Her voice was firm, her eyes narrowing as she spoke. “You never had me, Asher. You were never going to have me.”
His gaz
e shifted again, his shoulder shrugging as if he didn’t believe her.
“We’ll see. I don’t give up on something I believe in so easily. Not something I love, anyway. You know that.” He said, his tone indifferent as he watched the waves crashing along the shoreline.
Something.
He was referring to her as something he could own.
Something that belonged to him.
Snatching her hand from his, her eyes narrowed on him with disgust as she scoffed and turned to leave. “I’ll never belong to you, Asher. I’m not an object you can take.” She snarled before she went off in search of where Ophelia had disappeared to.
Asher hadn’t been himself since the night of the attack on their home. His initial reaction to her on the ship had been borderline cruel with how he spoke to her, but she’d blamed it on the surprise of not seeing her in a cell beside him. He was angry and she understood why. She didn’t blame him for how he spoke to her.
He’d been there when she found out about the lies Sebastian had fed to her and what had really happened to her mother. He kept her on her feet and the strain that had landed on their friendship had disappeared at the time. Asher was the boy she grew up with again. He was her best friend just like he had been before their feelings got in the way.
Then he’d walked in on her heated kiss with Sebastian and that small truce between them was gone. He was so angry with her in that moment and she felt so guilty for giving herself that moment to enjoy herself with a man she was starting to care for.
After their conversation here on the beach, she wasn’t sure who that man was behind her anymore. He was no longer the boy she considered her best friend. His easygoing grin didn’t exist. The innocence she used to see behind his eyes were gone. All that remained there was anger and hurt. What hurt her the most was the fact she didn’t know how to bring back the Asher she loved. She didn’t know how to fix what had been broken and make it better.
She wasn’t even sure if that was an option any longer.
Chapter 29
It didn’t take Ember too long to find the Stellarian Princess who had disappeared while she and Asher had their long-awaited talk. The Princess was further down the beach sitting on the sand, holding her hands over a flame as she muttered something under her breath. As if to answer Ember’s unasked question of what she was saying, the flame magically grew without warning and she knew the answer to her question was magic.
Ophelia was testing out her elemental magic and as a bonus it was keeping them warm from the breeze the ocean was pushing their way. Ember wondered if it was more because of the fact that Ophelia couldn’t help them with the storm. She could see how the frustration was getting under her skin. The fact that another witch was involved and she didn’t know who it was scared her. It honestly unnerved her that this other witch was better than she was. Ember was tempted to tell her she was wrong, but she doubted the Princess would believe her if she did.
Ophelia had taken the food Ember had found earlier and was in the middle of preparing something for them to eat. It hadn’t dawned on her she hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before. She was actually quite hungry now that the danger was on pause for the moment. Ember didn’t bother to see if Asher had followed her over, she knew he hadn’t. Part of her hoped he stayed where he was for a while so she could relax and calm down after what had said.
“You’ve got quite a messy love life, you know.” Ophelia spoke, making it clear she knew Ember was watching her.
With a heavy sigh, Ember nodded as she moved to take the spot beside her. Ophelia said nothing as she passed her some of the food that was already cooked and ready to eat. Ember took it with a quiet thank you before digging in. The two sat in silence as they ate, though Ember could tell Ophelia wanted to ask a question. “Is this the part where we talk about our love lives even though the world is crumbling around us?” Ember asked, though the unspoken meaning was there. She was giving Ophelia the permission to ask her question.
A weak chuckle rumbled in Ophelia’s throat. She nodded her head as she poked at the bits of food on the leaf she was using as a plate. “Kind of. I believe this is the part where we find a safer topic to try and figure out. So much is going on. Most of it I still don’t really understand, but boys I can absolutely help with.” She said, her gaze shifting from the fire to her friend with a small smile.
Ember pulled her knees up after finishing what was on her plate, wrapping her arms around them as she rested her chin on top. Her gaze was focused on the dancing flames as she tried to make sense of everything enough so she could try to explain. “All my life I’ve known I was supposed to marry Asher’s brother Cassius. I didn’t love him, but I accepted it because I couldn’t fight it. Asher, he was my escape from the madness of the palace. He was older and charming and funny. He was kind and handsome too in case you haven’t noticed.” She started to explain, only sparing her a quick smile as she looked her way.
“Oh, I noticed. Just because I don’t prefer men, does not mean I don’t find any of them attractive.” Ophelia laughed.
Her laughter didn’t reach her eyes, but Ember chose to ignore it.
Ember’s gaze lifted over the fire to the bright skies and clear water beyond it. “I met Sebastian and my entire world went into chaos. Suddenly, I was away from the palace and the expectations that came with it. I felt free for the first time in forever. I had a choice in what happened to me. He asked me to stay with him after this is all over. I told him no, but I’m wondering if that was a mistake. I hope he’s okay. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him, especially if it was by my father’s hand.”
A moment of silence fell over them until Ophelia reached over and placed her hand on her arm. “Your pirate captain will find you again.”
“How can you be so sure?” Ember asked.
Ophelia’s gaze shifted lower, settling on the coin hanging around Ember’s neck. She reached forward and held it up between her fingers. “I believe if two souls are meant to be together, no matter what divides them, they’ll find a way back to each other. Even if what divides them is death itself.”
Ember placed her hand on top of Ophelia’s, giving her fingers a squeeze as to tell her ‘thank you’ for trying to make her feel better. “When I was up steering the ship, I saw you and Ari fighting together and it was almost beautiful. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I don’t know how else to explain it. You worked as a team. It looked more like a dance than a fight for your lives.”
She wasn’t sure if what she was trying to explain made sense, but by the flush on Ophelia’s caramel skin she knew she understood. “I’ve never met anyone like her before. Her heart is encased in this barrier of ice to keep out people who can break her. She’s got a lot of walls, but I hope I get the chance to break through them after all of this is over.” Ophelia admitted quietly, a smile cracking free across her face as she planned for a future she wanted to fight for.
Ember wished she could be as sure as she was.
Brushing a strand of red hair behind her ear, she tore her gaze from the horizon to look to her friend. “Do you think he’ll let us help him? We only have until tomorrow. What if he doesn’t want to be saved?” She asked, knowing they couldn’t bead around the bush about the ritual any longer.
Ophelia leaned back on her hands, taking a deep breath as her head tilted back and her eyes closed. To anyone else, it’d look like she was relaxing in the sun, but Ember could see the tension in her shoulders and how her brows knitted together in concentration.
She was considering her answer.
A moment passed before her frown shifted, her eyes opened as she twisted her body and turned her attention behind them. “He came back.”
Ember’s eyes widened, surprised, before she turned to follow the direction Ophelia had shifted her gaze towards. At the line of trees, Klaus stood there with a hand pressed flat against the trunk of the tree.
She straightened as she realized he was there. He�
�d come back to help, no doubt only because she’d told him Sebastian needed him.
Klaus’ eyes scanned the beach up and back, as if making sure this wasn’t a trap, before he started his trek toward them.
The girls shared a brief exchange of looks before they hurried to climb up on their feet as he reached them. “You came back.” Ember said as a small smile slipped across her face. Her relief came off her in waves before she could control herself.
The last thing either of them wanted to do was startle him.
His head turned, his eyes settling on something deep inside the shadows of the trees as if something was there. “Liliana wanted me to. I can’t let my brother down again.”
A flush of blush burned Ember’s face, assuming he was referring to their meeting before in the woods. He had called her Liliana just before he left. Instead, she decided to only acknowledge his mentioning of Sebastian. “As soon as we break the curse during the eclipse tomorrow night, we can come up with a plan to rescue him and the others.” She said as she shared a brief nod with Ophelia before turning her attention back to Klaus.
Klaus’s gaze shifted past her, acting as if he didn’t hear what she’d said at all. She might have been insulted if not for the three words that left his lips.
“It’s my ship,”
Ophelia’s hand latched onto her arm, though she wasn’t sure if it was steady herself or Ember in that moment. Part of her was afraid to turn around in fear that he’d been mistaken and was either seeing an illusion only he could see, or if he had mistaken the Black Eel for the Obsidian.
“Bless Selene,” Ophelia gasped, praying to her moon goddess as her grip tightened around Ember’s wrist. “Ember, it’s them. They’re here.”
Ember finally let herself turn around and felt her knees almost give out at the familiar ship floating not so far off in the distance. Her free hand gripped the one Ophelia had dug into her arm. Her heart soared, beating like a hummingbird against her rib cage. This had to be some kind of dream. She must have fallen asleep watching Ophelia prepare their lunch and now she was dreaming all of this.
The Black Moon's Curse (The Stellara Trilogy Book 1) Page 25
