"I'm sure you were. I'm glad that you came back."
Jo smiled at me.
Damn, I swore my heart just stopped for a minute. Thankfully, the waiter walked over before I blurted out what my mouth was dying to say. How could I blame myself? How could I not want to be with her? Everything about Ivy was exactly what I’d been missing from my life.
"Could I get a beer, please?" Ivy asked the waiter. "And one for him too."
I raised a brow. "Are you ordering for me now?"
"You ordered for me," she countered as the corner of her mouth quirked upward.
"Fair enough." I nodded at the waiter. "I'll take one too."
When he returned with them, Ivy took a sip and sighed deeply. She smiled when she put the bottle away.
It took everything to keep the imminent erection down and under control at that sight of her drinking beer straight from a bottle. I still remember the last time she wrapped that delectable mouth around my cock, even though it had been years. "I'm guessing you really missed beer too."
"I did." She nodded. "I was never really allowed to have it back home."
"Allowed?"
Ivy blinked and the smile faltered on her lips.
What I saw there made me want to ask her what was going on.
Before I could even open my mouth however, she waved it off. "Anyway, it's nice to have a night out and grab a beer. Thanks for bringing me. I guess this is an acceptable apology."
"You guess?" I said. "What else can I do to have you completely forgive me?"
Ivy tapped her chin. "Dessert wouldn't hurt."
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I laughed. "Getting to boss me around for once in our lives."
"Well, since you're my boss now, it makes it even funnier to mess with you. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on you though. I don't want to go into work tomorrow and have you get your revenge."
I grinned at her. "I wouldn’t do that to my friend."
Jo narrowed her eyes. "Are we friends?"
"Do you think I have some kind of secret agenda?”
“Yes.”
My eyebrows rose. “Really?”
She shook her head. “Okay, maybe you don’t. I don’t know. I just want to make sure that you know that we’re friends and nothing more. I’m not ready to be with anyone… just yet.” Again, that strange expression showed up on her face.
Finally, it made me wonder why she appeared so suddenly in town without a plan or job. I nodded slowly. “I’m not going to push on you. I want to be here for you. I like your company, Jo. I always have.”
Jo smiled softly. “I like your company too. Thanks for bringing me out to dinner. I’m feeling a lot better.”
“See? I knew it was just the thing you needed.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re very wise.” She laughed. “We should get going.”
“After you,” I said as I waved a hand.
Jo stood up and I tossed a few bills onto the table for the tip. She walked past me and my eyes greedily roamed over every inch of her curvy frame. Mel was right. I wanted her in the worst possible ways.
Hell, this woman was setting my teeth on edge with desire.
Chapter Eighteen
Ivy
Maybe I was crazy. But forgiving Cooper was almost an impulse and one I didn’t want to fight. I was back home, away from a bustling, uncaring world where I was almost murdered, and I could use a friend. Especially, someone like Cooper who looked out for me. In fact, I needed someone in my corner.
“Are you sure you want to go right back home?” Cooper asked as he peered at me curiously.
I thought it over. Did I want to go back to the quiet, dark apartment that sometimes made me uneasy? Not particularly. Brian popped into my head too much when I was alone. Every noise, every creak made me freeze with fear. And the nightmares—
“How about a walk around the park?”
“This time of night?” I asked as I raised my brow.
“Did you forget this isn’t New York? Our parks are nice at night and I could use a walk after all of that food I stuffed into my face.”
I laughed. “Actually, I could use that too. Those ribs were far heavier than I remembered.”
“Good. That just means you had a good meal.”
I rolled my eyes. “If it was up to you, I would weigh a thousand pounds.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Cooper purred. “I like a bit of weight on a woman.”
I slapped his hand. “Don’t be a pervert, or I’ll go home.”
Cooper threw up his hands to protest his innocence. “I was just giving you a compliment, that’s all! Not being perverted here at all.”
“Uh- huh. I’m keeping my eye on you. I remember how you used to be back in the day.”
“I was young and hormones are a bitch. You know I’m not just trying to get into your pants. Honestly, that’s not who I am—”
“Anymore, you mean?”
“Alright, anymore,” Cooper agreed with a long suffering sigh as we arrived at the truck. He held open the door for me and waited until I climbed inside. “I’ve calmed down a lot over the years.”
That was true. I’d watched him at the bar. The quiet way he worked with determination and skill showed how true that was and his lack of flirting with even stunningly gorgeous women reinforced his assertion that he had in fact, changed. Which was surprising since most people seemed incapable of change, but not him. He had really done a 180.
Cooper climbed into the truck and started it up. As it roared to life, I realized there was a smile on my lips that I hadn’t even realized was there. Hanging out with Cooper was the most fun I’d had in ages. I’d hardly ever laughed with Brian. Not even at the beginning.
We pulled up to the park and Cooper switched off the engine. Then he jumped out of the truck and came around to my side before I could even get find the door handle. I hopped out and we strolled away from the truck.
What a strange feeling it was not to have to lock the truck.
The paths were well lit by the soft glow of lamps. There was a pond nearby and the sound of toads croaking filled the air. The sun had disappeared and the coolness of the night was perfect.
“Do you miss New York?” Cooper asked, his face turned towards me.
I didn’t look at him. I chewed my lip. Do I miss it? That was a hard question. I missed the great food, the hustle, the bustle, the way the city seemed to be alive and have a constant pulse. I missed the variety. But that was all a façade. No one in New York seemed to be truly happy. They were all chasing dreams that were just around the corner. It just seemed so easy to get pushed aside and thrown away in a big city. Whether it was a job or a relationship, you could be dismissed in the next five minutes and replaced almost immediately. Which then made everybody selfish, rude, disconnected, vaguely depressed, and cold. Yeah, that pretty much summed up the attitude of everyone in the city.
And then there were people like Brian.
I frowned when he popped into my head. He was the past. I wasn’t giving him headspace while I was with Cooper.
“Maybe for a minute or two, but it died very quickly. Nothing compared to how much I missed Springston when I left it. Everything’s slower here and people appreciate life. They’re not just rushing through it until it’s gone. Maybe there isn’t as much to do here, but it’s a good place.” I nodded. “Maybe this is the place I need to be more than any other.”
“I was the same,” Cooper said as he wrapped an arm around mine. “And I appreciate it for the same reasons. There’s not a ton of pressure on me. I don’t feel like I’m going to lose my shit from stress and I still have time to take off and be myself, you know? I realized when I moved back here, I really like it here.”
“Do you think you’ll ever leave?” I asked as we stopped and settled onto a bench.
“Leave Springston? Why would I ever want to do that? Everything I’ve built is here. A bar that’s doing well, a house that I’m had constructed just the way I want and a quiet life that
’s full of peace and friends. I don’t think there’s much more I want. Sometimes, I think people chase rocks when they have diamonds in their backyards.” Cooper’s fingers caressed my skin and brushed a dark lock off of my cheek. “Why do you ask me that? Are you planning on leaving again?”
I shook my head. “That’s not on my agenda as far as I know. I’m still getting settled in here.”
“Will you tell me if you plan to take off anytime soon?”
I smiled up at him. “You’ll be the first to know.”
Cooper held up his hand and extended his pinky. “Promise?”
I laughed, but his eyes were like a puppy’s. The pout on his face was both comical and heartwarming. I wrapped my pinky around his and kissed my thumb as he kissed his. “I promise I won’t just up and leave.” I smiled. “As long as you do the same.”
“Where the hell am I going?” he asked as our fingers pulled apart and he leaned against the back of the bench. “Everything I want is here. I’m here for the long haul, babe.”
My heart fluttered in my chest and I blinked in surprise. Just those words were enough to do that to me? Here for the long haul. It was what I had wanted from him when I was younger, but I never dreamed he would actually tell me that. “I’m glad you were here when I got back,” I confessed. “I had no idea what I was going to do for a job. Let’s be honest, most people wouldn’t have given me the time of day, considering I have zero experience in anything except journalism for which there is no need in this town.”
“A real shame because you’re a fast learner. I mean, sure you tend to drop things every once in a while—”
I groaned. “Oh please, don’t bring that up. I’m pretending that it never happened since I’ve almost died of embarrassment twice now.”
Cooper laughed. “At least, your injuries were minor. And my point is that even though you’ve dropped a few things and taken a few wrong orders, you’re good at what you do. You’re upbeat and warm, which the customers love and the best part is when you get it wrong, you own up and fix it right away. I don’t have a single complaint about you. You’re amazing.”
I waved a hand even as I felt my cheeks grow warm at his extravagant compliment. Being praised felt so foreign to me. My parents and teachers were the last people that told me I was good at anything. Ever since I moved to New York, it had been a constant barrage of insults and tear downs until I started to feel like I was nothing.
I shivered and rubbed my hand up and down my arm. Just thinking about the way Brian and my boss used to bully made me feel small again.
Cooper wrapped an arm around me and pulled me tighter against his side. His hand rubbed up and down trying to warm me up.
The thing was he had no idea I wasn’t cold on the outside, my heart was just frozen inside. I felt as though he was melting it as he tried to give me comfort that I had been denied for so many years.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
I stirred and blinked. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I guess I started daydreaming all of a sudden. I’m fine.”
Cooper looked like he didn’t totally believe me, but he didn’t push it either.
I felt glad he was holding back instead of interrogating me. When or if I was ready to tell him about my life back in New York, that’s when it would happen and not a moment before. I was barely over what happened. As I thought about it, my hand fluttered up to my throat as if I could still feel Brian’s hands tightly wrapped around it.
Cooper frowned. “You say you’re fine, but then you get that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“It’s like a mix between panic and sadness. You look like you’re ready to crawl out of your own damn skin.”
“I guess that’s a good way to put it,” I mumbled.
And it was true. Sometimes, I did feel like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. Especially when I thought about Brian and the hell he put me through. I felt angry with myself. I should never have let him humiliate me. Calling me horrible names while we were having sex was pure abuse.
Keep him out of your mind.
I want to do that. I desperately want to stop thinking about Brian, but I was still worried that he would come after me. Today was the first day that fear had started to slip away. Maybe he didn’t want anything to do with me and I could finally be free. Maybe I could start a new life. I deserved it.
“I’ll tell you about it someday,” I said as I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I promise. For now, I want to finish enjoying my night out with you. I’ve been having such a good time and I don’t want it to end. Let’s walk around a bit more before I have to go back.”
“Whatever you want,” Cooper said softly.
We wandered through the park hardly speaking, but there was no need to speak. Everything was simply perfect. Besides wildlife, the place was so calm and peaceful. I’d had to cut through the park back in New York and the feeling that I was going to be mugged had lingered the entire time. I didn’t feel that way here, or maybe it was because of Cooper.
Once my legs started to ache, we climbed back into the truck and he drove me to my place. Cooper hopped out and helped me down before we made our way to my front door.
By the time we reached it, I fidgeted with my fingers. “Thanks again for taking me out tonight,” I said, smiling softly. “I guess I really needed to get out more than I realized.”
“I’m just glad you let me. I needed to have a little fun myself. I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”
“On time and ready to work.” I grinned. “I might drop a few things, but no one can say I’m not punctual.”
Cooper chuckled. “That is not the kind of thing you should be telling your boss.” He brushed my hair off of my cheek. “It is good to have you as a friend again.”
“You too,” I breathed. “I sure could use one here.”
Cooper smiled and leaned down.
I sucked in a sharp breath as his soft, sexy lips hovered above mine. It felt as if time had completely slowed down and I couldn’t think straight. I licked my lips, sure that I was going to taste him when he moved and brushed his lips against my cheek. Cooper kissed my skin and I tingled all over.
I want him. I want more of him so bad it hurts.
I ran my hand down his arm and gave it a squeeze. The muscles underneath the palm of my hand only riled me up more. I wanted to feel him on top of me, hot, hard and eager. All of the desires that had died in me when I was with Brian had come back furiously. I needed Cooper. I could already feel his hands all over my body and I wanted it to be true.
“I should get going,” Cooper whispered as he pulled away slowly.
I blinked. “Oh? Are you sure? If you wanted a cup of coffee or something I could make some for us.”
“I better not,” he said as he straightened up and adjusted his clothes. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“Drive safe.”
Cooper smiled and ran a hand down my arm before he turned and walked away.
My heart sank watching him jog down the stairs and head back for his truck. I bit my lip so hard it hurt.
Maybe it was for the best. As much as I wanted him, it was still a horrendous idea to give into those urges that coursed through my body. We were friends, nothing more. I had to be okay with that. Falling into bed with him could only lead to complications. Why risk making life complicated when it was finally going right?
I fished my keys out and unlocked the door when I realized I could hear Cooper’s truck outside. He was in his truck, waiting for me to go inside before he left. I let myself in and switched on the light. As soon as I did, I heard his truck move away. I glanced around the empty apartment. It felt so lonely being here all on my own.
I still kind of wished he would have come in for a while. Even if things didn’t progress beyond chatting and watching bad TV together, it would have been nice. I was tired of being without someone I could truly connect with. For too long it had seemed my only options were men like
Brian or being on my own forever.
I quickly locked the door and shook off the gloom that threatened to settle in. I knew that wasn’t true. There was something between hell with a partner and being lonely. Cooper popped into my head and my heart squeezed in my chest.
“What is wrong with me?”
I was the one that said we could only be friends and nothing more. Clear boundaries were set, and we weren’t going to go over them. No matter how tempting it was. I peeled off my clothes as I headed for the bedroom. I would now have to do something I hadn’t done in a long time.
Just one good orgasm and then maybe I would be able to sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Ivy
Excitement sent my tummy into a spin as soon as I walked up to the bar. My heart was already thumping excitedly and I knew it was going to be a crazy weekend. Music poured out of the doors as soon as I opened them, laughter filled the air, but my eyes were only drawn to him.
Cooper stood behind the bar in what I started to recognize as his signature shirt. The black material stretched over his wide chest, showing off intimidating biceps. It left very little to the imagination, but I still found myself wondering what it would feel like to run my fingers down his stomach and slip lower into the confines of his pants…
Snap out of it Ivy!
My thoughts were getting worse by the day, but I couldn’t seem to stop them. Every time I saw Cooper, the most inappropriate thoughts filled my head. Cooper had been on his best behavior since our dinner date. He treated me like a friend, not like a piece of ass he could throw away, the way he’d done so long ago.
“Jo!” His voice bellowed through the bar and cut through the noise. “We’re drowning. Come help us out.”
“I’m coming,” I called as I came back to life and waded through the sea of people. “Let me put my purse awayand grab my things.”
“We’ll hold down the fort until then,” he shouted dramatically.
I rolled my eyes, but I loved it. It wasn’t what I went to school for, but I had to admit, I loved being in a job where I was needed and appreciated. “I’ll be back in two secs!” I dashed into the back, stored my purse and grabbed my apron. As I tied it I looked in the mirror. My honey locks had been pulled into a messy bun that sat on top of my head. I’d worn a nice pair of shorts and a tank top. The combination was comfy and cool since the bar could get a little hot at times. I looked okay.
Let’s Start Over Page 8
