The fact he’d gone out of his way to make sure I wasn’t alone last night and they all distracted me hadn’t been lost on me. Tiddles glanced at me from the foot of the bed, but there was no sign of Tabby.
Where was Ian?
There was a blanket and pillow next to one of the other couch cushions, but no Ian. Tiddles suddenly streaked out of the room with Tory right behind him at the distinctive sound of a can opening. Easing out of the bed, I managed to not wake up Coop or Jake.
After pausing in the bathroom to deal with my bladder and brush my teeth, I padded into the kitchen to find Ian leaning against the kitchen counter staring at my fridge.
Following his gaze, I looked at the photo of the five of us that was hanging by a magnet. It had been there for years. I had a better copy in my room, but I’d plunked this on the fridge that summer between freshman and sophomore years. We’d taken it the last day of school.
He glanced at me as I came in. “You ever wish you could go back and be those kids again?”
“No,” I said slowly. “Not that I minded being them when we were, but I’d much rather be looking at the end of high school than the beginning.”
“Fair.” When he stretched out an arm, I narrowed the distance and curled right up to him as he wrapped that arm around me and pressed a kiss to my temple. “How you feeling?”
“Not bad,” I admitted. “Better than I thought I would.” The cramps had faded, the irritation under my skin had reduced, and the singular dread from the day before had given way to a kind of apathy. I was at a loss as to what to do about Mom and Mr. Standish. “Feeling lucky.”
“Yeah?” He glanced down at me, and I smiled.
“Yeah, you guys all came. You’re all here. We’re still friends, and as crazy as everything has been… I feel closer to all of you.”
He nodded slowly, then tightened his arm and rested his cheek against my hair. “Good. You know we’re always going to be here for you, no matter what, right?”
I frowned a little. “I do know that, and I’m there for you.” As bumpy a road as the last few weeks had been, and as bad as last Saturday had been, I did know they were there for me. “Ian, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine. Just thinking about all the stuff we have to do.” He didn’t sound fine. I wiggled a little until he loosened his arm so I could look up at him. “Angel, I’m fine,” he said quietly, then dropped a kiss on my nose. It was probably supposed to just be a light, teasing kiss, but I rose up on my tip toes, and he hesitated a moment before his mouth closed on mine.
I sighed into the kiss, it was slow and sweet. He asked for nothing and gave everything. Cupping his face, I marveled at the bristle of stubble along his jaw, even as his lips massaged mine. The first stroke of his tongue teased against mine, and I sighed. Peppermint and Ian.
I wasn’t the only one who brushed my teeth. His fingers tightened against my sides, and he pulled back a moment. “Frankie…”
“Hey,” Coop said as he shuffled into the kitchen. “Anyone make coffee or something?” A yawn elongated and stretched every word.
Something tightened in Ian’s expression, but he just gave me a squeeze before he said, “No, but I can.” He was already turning away before I could ask what was wrong. Then Coop curled an arm around my middle and pulled me back against him.
“Morning,” he murmured and nuzzled a kiss to my cheek. The bristle of his stubble stung a bit, but I sighed at the heat of him wrapped around me. Tilting my head back, I started to answer, but he was already kissing me. If I’d been delighted by Ian’s kiss, I thrilled to Coop’s. It was equal parts comforting and teasing. He nipped my lower lip at the end and sighed. “Now, it’s a good morning.”
The slam of the filter basket startled more than just me. Tiddles bolted away from his now empty food bowl. Coop loosened his hold, and we both glanced at Ian. He wasn’t looking at us, but his back was stiff.
Maybe the no kissing thing should extend to when we were all together. Coop and Jake hadn’t seemed to mind, but I didn’t want to upset Ian. I pulled away, and it was Coop who frowned this time.
“Why are you people awake?” Archie shuffled into the kitchen, and I got a sleepy warm hug and another kiss, this one on the corner of my mouth, before he murmured into my hair, “Better one after I brush my teeth, promise.”
I laughed and hugged him.
“Fed the cats,” Ian said. “Got the coffee started. Figure we can all eat at home rather than dig through Frankie’s fridge. In fact, I’m gonna go get dressed.” Then he was out of the kitchen.
Archie leaned back and tracked Ian’s passage with a frown. “What put a bug up his ass?”
“I think we did,” Coop mused, then he tugged my hair. “You wanna shower?”
“I should. I have to work in a couple of hours.” Should probably do some homework, too.
“Okay, we’ll get the TV back where it goes.”
“After coffee,” Archie said, leaning back against a counter and keeping his arms looped around me until I settled with my back to his chest. “And after I get some cuddle time. You assholes stole the bed with her.”
“Hey, you snooze, you lose.” Coop grinned, absolutely unrepentant. He winked at me. “You sleep okay?”
“I did, thank you.” The smell of coffee filled the kitchen, and honestly, I was ready to drink about a gallon of it. My brain was still in sluggish mode. Last night had been… brutal. But the guys—the guys had made it better. “I’m going to check on Ian.”
A kiss to my nape, and Archie let me go.
I was almost to my bedroom when Jake said, “Man, what are you doing?”
“I’m getting dressed,” Ian answered. “She’s fine. She has you three, and you’re all being cuddly. I need to go home and get some stuff done.”
“Don’t be like this, Bubba.” Jake countered.
“Be like what?” But there was something in his voice, Jake was right. Something cool and reserved. Ian was never cold. “I’m fine. She’s good. We came over to make sure she wasn’t alone, she’s definitely not alone.”
“So, what? You just take off in a pissy mood?”
Silence greeted that remark, then Ian snorted, “Stealing your thunder? You and Archie are the only two who get to have a bad mood?”
“What the fuck—no. What the hell is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Ian replied. “Just have some stuff to do today, and she has work. Not going to get in the way. You guys are all here.”
“C’mon, Bubba…”
“Look,” he said, turning as he zipped up his jeans and that was when he saw me leaning against the doorframe. He sighed, then raked a hand through his hair. “I’m not being any way. I just have some homework to do, and I promised my mom I’d run some errands.”
“Okay, but I think we should all talk if you’re this uncomfortable.” I’d told them all from the beginning I didn’t want to lose my friendships, and I didn’t want them turning on each other. To be honest, I’d thought it would be Jake or Archie, they were so damn possessive, but maybe I didn’t think it all the way through.
“We don’t have to talk, Frankie,” Ian told me. “Seriously, it’s all good.”
“Then why does it feel like it’s not all good for you at the moment?” We’d made a lot of the last few days about me, but I wasn’t the only person in this group.
His shoulders dipped, and Jake shoved off the bed. “I’ll let you two talk.” Then he squeezed past me after a quick kiss.
Padding into the room, I sat on the end of my bed and looked at him. “Talk to me?”
Ian dropped to sit next to me and exhaled. “I’m not mad. I’m not upset. But it’s… it’s a little harder to watch you with everyone and know they are all pushing you, and sooner or later, it’s going to hurt some of us, but it will definitely hurt you.”
“Because I’m dating everyone?” I had to be sure.
“Yeah, and not just because of what the asshats are doing, Frankie.
We’re all crazy about you,” he continued, then turned sideways to face me. “The thing is…crazy has limits. I’ve watched you aching this week from finding out we knew about your mom to their plan to deal with Mathieu.”
It had been a week. Exactly a week since then. It felt like eighty years.
“The shit Sharon pulled, and Laura… the fact we still don’t know who did that to your car. That you have to deal with your mom and Archie’s dad, and whatever that ends up meaning. Throw Jake and Archie pushing you…”
“You keep saying their pushing me,” I cut in, twisting to face him too, and our knees brushed. “They’re not.”
“Yes they are,” he said flatly. “I’m not saying you don’t have the right to say yes to whatever you want. I just—I want you to focus on you, and I think that’s getting lost in all of this.”
“I am focusing on me, all we talk about is me. I know the dating thing is new, and I wasn’t trying to… I don’t want you to think I don’t like you because I…I had sex with them. I wanted to with you but you…”
“That’s my point,” Ian said slowly. “You’re new to all of this. Maybe we’re a bunch of assholes because we rushed when we thought we might lose you to some other guy. But I don’t want you to regret a moment, and everything that has been happening, it just makes it all so intense. I want you to want to take those steps, and I want to be the guy you can depend on. I want you to feel valued. I never want you to feel like we expect anything.”
My stomach sank. “I don’t think you expect anything. I’ll be honest, I don’t think any of you do. No one has made me do anything I didn’t want, Ian.”
His expression tensed.
“But that’s the problem, isn’t it?” I wanted them, too. “Because I want to date all of you.”
“It’s not a problem.” That was another lie. One he couldn’t even meet my gaze to say. Scrubbing his hands against his face, he groaned. “Frankie…where do you see this going? All of us?”
“At the moment?”
“Now? A month from now? Six months from now?”
“I don’t know.” It was the truth. “You guys are my best friends. I don’t want to lose any of you.”
“I know you don’t, Angel. Trust me, I’m not going anywhere but…”
That horrible word.
“But I think that maybe we need to slow this down. I’ll still take you to Homecoming. Still do that right, and if you want to keep having whatever with the guys, that’s okay, cause that’s your call. But I think you and me, we need to maybe step it back a little.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“God no, I think it’s me,” he admitted. “I think I worry about you too much.” He tucked a finger under my chin. Yet, despite his smile, the sinking feeling didn’t go away. “I never want to hurt you. I never want you to feel like you have to make a choice between me and the guys, or us and anything. You’ve got so much on your plate. I’m just going to lighten the load a little.”
This felt an awful lot like he was breaking up with me.
“Rachel was right, you need a friend. Maybe more than you need yet another boyfriend, and… you know Jake and Archie. They want everything, and they’re going to kill themselves to make sure you get it. I meant it when I said this isn’t about you, I promise. I just need to figure some things out.”
But not him.
My eyes burned. “Maybe we could all slow down then…if it means you won’t… you won’t go.”
“I just said I’m not going anywhere. We’ll do Homecoming, I’m going to do that right for you. We’ll see where it goes from there, okay?” He tried for another smile. “Maybe if I back off some, Sharon will leave you alone, and it will get some of the others to shut up. Win win. Keep you safe, and it’s not like you’re not going to see me. Still need to get through calculus, and who else is going to listen to me put together my audition tape?”
The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. Lifting my hand to his cheek, I leaned forward and kissed him. I didn’t have the words to tell him I didn’t want him to back off, not ones that didn’t sound selfish or greedy. He was telling me what he needed, but then he kept saying he was doing it for me.
At first, he stilled against my lips, then he cradled my face and deepened the kiss. A long, slow brush of his tongue against mine sent a tangle of feeling through me, until he finally leaned his head back. “I’ll see you later. Tell Coop that you have to like the dress, not just him, okay?” Then another light kiss, and he was gone. Up and moving as he left the apartment.
There were startled voices in the other room—more than one angry—then the back door closed with a solid thump. I sat there trying to piece together what just happened.
“Don’t worry about him,” Jake said as he appeared in the room. He grabbed his clothes and dressed hurriedly. “I’m going to talk to him.” Pausing a beat, he eyed me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m—yeah, I’m fine.” It was a lie, but I wasn’t quite sure how I was. “Don’t—don’t make him feel bad.”
“Frankie, Bubba’s just got a bee up his ass. He cares about you.”
“I know, but don’t make him feel bad. If he can’t do this with me dating everyone, then he can’t.” Which meant maybe I shouldn’t be. “I told you I wasn’t sure how this was going to work. I don’t want you guys to fight.”
“Sometimes, we need to have our heads knocked together.” He crouched in front of me. “You going to be okay while I go track him down and see what’s going on with him?”
I got my shit together, I had big girl panties. I could put them on. “I’ll be fine. I gotta work.” With a little shrug, I touched his cheek. “Homework and stuff…then dress shopping tonight.”
It was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.
The. Absolute. Last.
“Get something pretty, course, you’re going to be a knockout in anything.” He gave me a quick kiss. “I’ll see you at Mason’s later, I’ll drag Bubba in. Everything will be great. You’ll see.”
Then he was out, and it wasn’t long before the backdoor thudded closed behind him. I stood up and glanced around the disheveled room. The television still needed to go back and the couch cushions. Needing to move, I made the bed.
“Hey,” Coop said. “I brought you coffee.” He held out the cup, and he was by himself. “Archie’s on the phone with Jeremy, he hasn’t left.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
“Want a hand?”
“Need to move the TV.”
“We can do that,” he said, but his expression was guarded. “Are you okay?”
“I’m undecided,” I admitted. “Ian’s upset, but I think he’s trying not to be.”
“Jake will talk to him,” Coop said. “I can call him later, too.”
Sipping the coffee, I turned those words over in my head. “Coop, should I have said no to dating all of you?”
He grimaced.
“No,” Archie said from the doorway. “You shouldn’t have said no. There’s nothing wrong with dating all of us.”
Just like last week when Jake reminded me we had done nothing wrong. I was dating all of them. Except… “I don’t think I’m really dating Ian, anymore.”
“Give him time,” Archie said. “It’s been a tense few days, and he’s thinking long game. He wants to protect you. That’s not a guy who doesn’t want to see you.”
“Except he’s right.”
Coop sighed.
“Sooner or later I have to choose, right?”
Arms folded, Archie leaned against the doorframe. “I’m not asking you to choose. Are you?” He looked at Coop.
“No,” Coop said slowly. “But to be fair—we’ve all kind of been slicing up your time because we’re all a little greedy and want more with you. Maybe that’s not fair to you.”
“Shit,” Archie said. “Really? That’s the route you’re going?”
“I’m calling it like I see it,” Coop retorted. “Frankie’s got a lot on her
plate, and we’re making it more difficult. Ian sees that, and I get where he’s coming from.”
“So you want to back off, too?” Suddenly the coffee tasted like ash.
“Back off might be too big a description, but…make it easier for you? Yeah. I’m always going to be here for you, but I think making sure you aren’t getting nailed from all directions is more important than scratching some itch we all have.”
Scratching an itch?
He grimaced. “Hearing that out loud makes it sound a lot worse than it is. Really—just don’t feel like we need rush, how is that?”
From his position in the door, Archie’s expression was a cross between pained and irritated. “I think it sounds like a bunch of crap.”
“Not helpful,” Coop told him, and I sighed. “Hey, look, it’s Saturday morning and you’ve barely had coffee. We don’t have to make these kinds of decisions. Archie and I will get the TV back in the living room, and then you can start getting ready for work. If you want, I’ll go make waffles. I still remember where the waffle iron is.”
I didn’t want to make anyone do something they didn’t want to do. Maybe I should be focusing on other things.
“For what it’s worth, I think they’re both idiots, and I’m not going any-fucking-where.” Archie’s staunch declaration made me smile a little.
“And you call me dramatic,” Coop feigned fanning himself. “I do declare…”
And I laughed.
When Coop winked at me, the smile I had this time was real.
Lots of changes. Maybe too many.
But maybe what I needed to do was show the guys I did want them the way they kept showing me.
“Waffles would be great,” I said. “Don’t forget, you’re going dress shopping with me tonight.”
“Hubba hubba, we can play music on our phones and film a dress montage scene.”
Okay.
Now that was funny.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Oh well,” Coop said as he and Archie lifted the television. “Now I have to.”
As they wrestled it out of the room and left me alone, I stared around the emptying room. Less than an hour ago, we’d all been here and if not fine, at least together.
Changes and Chocolates: Untouchable Book Two Page 33
