“I compete in the joust to forget what you did.”
“Would you change places with me?” Michael demanded.
The question caught Gabe off guard and he hesitated. Then, he realized Michael was challenging him. Michael believed he would never agree to change places and asked the question. Realizing his mistake, Gabe opened his mouth to answer.
“I thought not,” Michael replied smugly. “Don’t hold this against me, ever. I did it for you.” Michael turned away, striding off down the hallway.
Eve stared at her father as he sat in a high-backed chair before a warm fire, the fire’s red glow washing over him. He had summoned her to his chambers. Usually, that meant she had done something he was angry about. As she walked down the hallway to his chambers, she tried to figure out what she had done, going over the day’s events. Nothing came to mind and now, she stood before him with trepidation.
“I saw you watching him.”
She didn’t know what he was referring to and remained silent.
“At the morning meal. I saw the way you stared at him.”
“Who?”
“Sir Gabriel.”
Dread slithered through her. She didn’t think she was staring, and she definitely didn’t think her father had seen the secret glances she cast toward Gabe! “He is a guest. I didn’t stare.”
“You barely touched your meal.”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You’ve always been hungry before.”
“Perchance it is the coming Yuletide or my marriage.”
“You are betrothed to Michael.”
“I know –”
“He owns you. He saved you and you owe him your entire life. Do you understand that? If it wasn’t for him, you would be dead.”
A lump rose in her throat. Sometimes when she thought of her future, she wished she was dead.
“He couldn’t save your sister. But he saved you. And you owe him the respect and the dignity of giving him your hand in marriage. Do you understand that, Eve?”
“But I don’t love him, Father,” she said weakly. It was a horrible, useless excuse, she knew.
He swiveled to her, looking at her with a fierce scowl. “Love? You are a child! What do you know of love?”
She bowed her head, letting his anger wash over her.
“He gave you your life. You belong to him! He saved you.”
“Are you sure it was him?”
He threw back his head in angry disbelief. “Let’s not start this again. Blue eyes. I know! You’ve cried about them for years. I thought you forgot about them.”
“I can’t help it. I saw blue eyes. And Michael –”
He rose in a rage. “He doesn’t have blue eyes! He carried you into the Great Hall. He brought you to your mother. He was the one that went out on that cold night and saved your ungrateful life after you led your sister on a search for an imaginary angel.”
Tears rose in her eyes and she fought them back with everything she had. She remembered blue eyes. And her father had tried to make her doubt what she remembered. He had tried to tell her it was Michael. But she knew it wasn’t. It couldn’t have been Michael!
“You will marry Michael. Do you understand? You will marry him because he saved your life and you belong to him. Do. You. Understand?”
Eve bobbed her head. “Yes. Father.”
“I want you to have nothing further to do with his brother. I don’t want you to see him or spend time with him.”
She swallowed in a tight throat. The thought of never seeing Gabriel again brought agony crashing over her. “Will you banish him from the castle?” Her voice was weak.
“It is not your concern. You are done with him.”
Eve nodded and turned away. She walked to the door and paused to stare at her father. He stood with his back to the hearth, watching her in disapproval. His fists clenched, his shoulders hunched. He looked like the devil himself. She quickly closed the door. She had tried to please him all her life. She had tried to do whatever he asked. She had tried to make him love her. But whatever she did was never good enough. She could not be Eden. Still, she knew she would try again and follow his instructions. She would never see Gabe again. The thought brought a crushing, soul-shattering sadness.
Chapter Five
What is it? What’s happened?
Eve sat beneath the large tree with her knees pulled up to her chest. Tears burned her eyes and she kept her gaze down, away from Eden. She shook her head at Eden’s question. Her chest spasmed. “What am I to do, Eden?”
Eden sat beside her, mirroring her pose.
“Father said I can’t see him anymore. It feels like… like…” She sniffled and wiped at her nose. “Like I felt when you were taken away.”
You like him.
Eve nodded. “He’s so kind to me. He doesn’t treat me like… like a monster.”
Eve! You are not a monster.
“That’s not what Father or Michael think.”
Eden sighed softly. What will you do?
“He doesn’t like me. How could he?”
“Who doesn’t like you?”
Eve startled as Gabe ducked his head beneath the tree branches. She quickly swiped at her eyes. “Gabe! You scared me! What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.” He knelt beside her on the opposite side of Eden. “I saw you leaving the castle.” His gaze scanned her face and his brow furrowed. “What’s wrong, Eve? Why are you crying?”
Eve shook her head. “I’ll be alright.”
“Who made you cry? I will make sure they never do it again.”
Eve sat back against the tree with a sigh. He was so brave and so… “You followed me here?” Gabe smiled, and Eve’s heart quickened at the same time it broke.
“You changed the subject.” He nodded, allowing her the secret. “Yes. I followed you. I brought horses. You wanted to ride one by yourself.”
She was so glad he was here with her, to cheer her. “I’d like that.” One more adventure with him. Spend time with him again for the last time.
He stood up and held his hand out to her.
Eve placed her hand into his warm one and he helped her to her feet. He stood for a long moment looking down at her. Eve realized how tall he was. He stood a foot above her, his dark hair fell to his shoulders in soft waves.
He lifted a hand to wipe a thumb across her cheek, clearing away the tears. “I swear. I will make sure that no one makes you cry again.”
Her heart ached for him. She watched the way his lips formed the words, caressing and gentle.
“Come. I shall make you laugh again.” He led her into the clearing where the two horses waited in the brown grass.
“You’ll ride behind me like you did before?”
“I shall ride my horse, guiding yours, until you are comfortable.”
Eve felt a quake of unease and apprehension race through her as they approached the horses. The animals were so big! She didn’t remember Gabriel’s brown palfrey being this tall. The other was a beautiful dark red color.
“I’ll help you mount,” Gabriel said.
Eve stopped and stared at the horse. It seemed so large even though it was smaller than Gabe’s palfrey.
Gabriel looked at her. “Are you alright?”
She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted him to admire her. She wanted him… to love her. What? She quickly moved forward, pushing the thought from her mind. She placed her foot into the stirrup. Gabe put his hands around her waist and lifted her up. She grabbed the pommel and swung her leg around.
The horse backed up a step and Gabriel grabbed the reins. He handed them to Eve. “Remember how I told you to hold them?”
Eve nodded and situated the reins in her hands.
Gabe adjusted the stirrups so her feet rested comfortably in them. Then, he quickly mounted his horse and took the lead rein from Eve’s horse. “Ready?”
She nodded, and they started slowly across the clearing, Gabe leading
Eve’s horse.
“You have control of the reins. Just relax and steer the horse where you want it to go.”
Eve tugged too hard and the horse bridled, tossing its head.
“Gentle,” Gabe reminded.
They moved together across the clearing. “Gently turn her.”
Eve followed his instructions and the horse walked where she steered.
Gabe nodded. “Good.”
They moved back and forth across the field beneath the cloudy sky.
After they had crossed the clearing twice, Eve asked, “Am I doing it?”
“Yes,” Gabe said. “I’m just walking beside you.”
“But you have the reins. Let them go.”
“Are you certain?”
“Yes!”
He lifted the lead reins and placed them along Eve’s horse’s neck, giving up all control.
Eve moved the horse around the field in a circle. Her confidence grew as she maneuvered the horse and it followed her instructions.
Gabe rode beside her. “Relax. That’s it.”
Eve tried to relax. She concentrated on pulling the reins without tugging them too hard. She didn’t want to startle the horse. When she looked, she saw that Gabriel was no longer beside her. He was on the other side of the clearing! She was riding the horse by herself! Gabriel was right. She could do it. She gently moved the reins to the side to turn the horse.
You’re riding a horse! Eve!
Eve smiled at her sister’s enthusiasm.
Suddenly, the horse tensed beneath her, her legs spread in fear and she veered to the side.
Eve gasped. She tried to stop the horse by tugging on the reins.
The horse lifted onto her two back legs and the next thing Eve knew she was falling, tumbling backward through the air. She landed on the ground hard.
Gabe saw Eve’s horse spook and charged his horse toward her. “Eve!” He was halfway across the clearing, when her horse rose onto its hind legs and Eve fell backward off the horse. Dread clenched Gabe’s heart. He couldn’t reach her fast enough. He spurred his horse, but it wasn’t fast enough, and he watched her land on her back on the ground.
He dismounted, flinging his leg over the horse and dropped to the ground before his palfrey had completely stopped and rushed to her side.
Eve lay on her back on the ground, her dark hair spread out below her head like a pillow.
Gabe dropped to his knees at her side. “Eve! Eve!” he called.
Her eyes were closed, but she turned her head, groaning.
“Eve,” he pleaded, hovering over her. “Are you alright?” He clutched her shoulders desperately, his hand sweeping over her forehead, her cheeks. “Please open your eyes,” he begged. He didn’t see any wounds, but if she had hit her head it could be bad. “Please. I’ll tell you a story. A most amazing story, if you do.”
Her eyes snapped open and locked on his.
He stared down at her, at her sparkling blue eyes, her smooth skin, her luscious lips. The powerful fear gave way to an incredible relief. It raced through every nerve in his body, consuming him. What if she had been harmed because of him? What if she had been hurt because she was not ready to ride alone, because of something he had suggested!
The first flake of snow fell from the sky.
“It’s you,” she whispered.
He began to smile an uneasy grin. “Of course it’s me.”
She lunged upward, pressing her lips to his.
Startled, Gabe froze. Her lips were warm and soft against his. It was all he had ever wanted. This moment. Her. Gabe melted and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him, kissing her in relief and desperation. She was everything he had wanted. Just Eve. From the moment he had picked her up when he was a child. She was his destiny. “Oh Eve,” he whispered against her lips.
She sighed slightly as he pulled back to look down into her lidded eyes.
He gently brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “Are you alright?”
“It was Eden,” she whispered. “She spooked the horse.”
Gabriel chuckled slightly and eased her to a sitting position. “Looks like you bumped your head.”
She was staring at him as if the sun rose and fell with him.
His gaze swept her face. “Go slow,” he warned. “Just take a moment.”
“I can take all day just to look at you.”
Her profession startled him. He grinned warmly. “You must have bumped your head harder than I thought.”
“No,” she admitted, her gaze soft and focused on him. She pushed her lips against his again. “I don’t think I hit my head at all.”
Gabe’s skin tingled beneath her soft touch, her affection, her kiss. And while every one of his senses, every one of his desires wanted to continue the kiss, deepen it, explore every inch of her amazing body, she was still betrothed to his brother.
He pulled back, holding onto her hand to help her stand.
She weaved for a moment and Gabe steadied her with a firm hand to her arm. She gasped.
For a moment panic set in and Gabe grabbed her arms. “What is it? Are you hurt?”
She looked at the sky, turning her face upward. “It’s snowing!”
Gabe smiled partly in relief, partly because he was enamored of her. She made the simplest things amazing. Snow. He had never found snow so excitingly powerful.
She stepped away from him and spread out her arms as if to catch all the snow before it hit the ground. She closed her eyes and kept her face to the sky.
The tiny flakes of snow fell onto her skin and melted. Likes rays of frozen sunshine. Like kisses from Heaven.
Standing in the middle of the clearing, she looked like a goddess. The small snowflakes falling around her, showering her with white. The flakes stuck to her hair, peppering white throughout.
Gabe could not take his gaze from her. She was… achingly beautiful. So much more than he deserved. Which was good, because she was not his. Still, he could imagine holding her, remember her warm, wet kiss. Oh, he was in trouble.
She opened her eyes and looked at him with a smile that grew into glorious joy. It drew him in and he could not deny his feelings for her. “Eve,” he called, wanting to tell her how much she meant to him, wanting to tell her everything.
She bowed her head and opened her eyes.
But the last thing he wanted to see was disappointment in her eyes. What had he to offer her? A life of waiting for him while he participated in the circuit of tournaments? What did he have to offer her except for his love? Love? Yes. It was love. He was in love with his brother’s betrothed. He sighed softly. “We should get back.”
“I love you, Gabe,” she whispered.
For a moment, Gabe could not move. At first, he thought he had imagined the words whispered on a soft breeze. But when his heart answered with an aching longing, he knew what he had heard. Had he led her to think this? He winced and shook his head. “Eve.”
“I was meant to be yours. I belong to you, not to Michael. I don’t love Michael.” She approached him.
“You are betrothed to my brother,” Gabe said softly, full of anguish.
“That doesn’t matter.” She ducked her head to capture his gaze. “The only thing that matters is our feelings. You do have feelings for me, I know it.”
Gabe wanted desperately to tell her the truth, that she was more beautiful than any woman he had been with. Lovelier than the sun. More tempting than a delicious cream tart. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her because he had given her up a long time ago and he had no right to her now. “No.”
The crestfallen look that entered her eyes was devasting. “No, our feelings don’t matter?” she asked, still hoping.
Lord, he loved her perseverance. He hated doing this to her. He hated himself. “Eve,” he pleaded. Don’t make me do this to you. “You will make a fine wife for my brother.”
Tears welled in her eyes, pooling with agony, and she turned quickly away. “Yes.” It was
the only word she could mutter before her throat was choked off.
“We’ll head back now.” Gabe started for the horse across the clearing near the pond. When he turned back to her, she was already moving through the forest on foot toward the castle.
That evening, Eve watched the snow fall in large flakes from her open chamber window. Small flakes had given way to a full-fledged snow storm. The wind howled, blowing in through her window and encircling her in cold. But she didn’t feel the frosty touch. She was numb with grief. How could she have thought Gabriel cared for her? How could she have fooled herself? Because it is him, a voice in the back of her mind argued. The one with the blue eyes. She banished the voice. She wished… she wished she was young again and saw the angel flying over the pond. She wished she believed in angels. She wished she could trade places with Eden.
“Oh, my lady!” Mary cried as she entered the room. She rushed to the window and closed the shutters. “You’ll catch your death!”
“Did you see the snow?”
“How could I miss it? Luckily all your guests have arrived. There is a big celebration in the Great Hall. Why aren’t you there?”
Eve sighed. There was nothing to celebrate. Even the Yuletide no longer held appeal for her. The Yule log would be burned that night and the longest night would go on for the rest of her life when she married Michael.
“It’s Solstice Night,” Mary said softly. “Tonight is Christ’s Mass. Tomorrow you are to be married! Go and enjoy the evening.”
Eve inhaled a deep, steadying breath.
“They are waiting for you, m’lady.”
Eve felt the crushing weight of misery and responsibility. She looked down at her hands, at her deformed hand hidden beneath her blue velvet sleeve. She would be forever unwhole, deformed, a monster. She could never please Michael. She nodded. “I’ll be down in a moment.”
Mary nodded, curtsied and left the room.
Eve opened the shutters again and looked out beyond the castle at the forest. Her angel would never appear to her and her teary eyes blurred the landscape of white snow.
Gabe stared down at the tapestry Eve had given him. His thumb stroked the angel softly.
Timeless Christmas Romance: Historical Romance Holiday Collection Page 22
