Mari shook her head and unfolded the letter. Peering at the parchment, she squinted to make out the poor scratching on the page. It was from Lucy, her maid.
Your Grace,
I hope this letter finds you well. Or for that matter finds you at all. I remembered you once said you had a sister in Scotland who’d married a laird. I looked through your things and found a letter from her. Don’t worry, I burned the letter after I copied the address. I’m doing everything in my power to make sure the crown’s tracker doesn’t find you, but he is relentless. He’s questioned everyone in the house many times and has made threats that if we servants didn’t confirm that you ran to Scotland, we would be put out without a reference.
He’s a beast with a juicy bone and won’t give it up.
He says as soon as one of us verifies you went to Scotland, he will have enough evidence to go and fetch you home for trial.
Be vigilant, Your Grace. It won’t be long before one of the staff corroborates his claim just to be done with him. And when that happens, he will be heading for you.
Stay safe, Your Grace.
Your faithful servant,
Lucy
Mari had been a fool to hope she’d been forgotten. She’d prayed that enough time had passed and that she was free to live her new, happy life with a man who treated her kindly.
It was so easy to pretend things were fine, being so far north. Away from London. Away from her past.
But Sir Ridley, the tracker, hadn’t given up. She was not safe here. Nor would she ever be. Eventually the tenacious man would be granted his warrant, and he would show up at the castle gate to collect her.
What would happen when he did?
Visions of Cam being hauled away or killed for trying to protect her haunted her mind. He’d vowed to protect her with his life, and she didn’t want him to be forced to honor his promise. Especially when there was no chance of saving her.
Even if he gave his life to keep her safe, she would still be taken to stand trial for a murder. And since she was in fact guilty, she would surely be hanged.
There was no reason for Cam to be harmed. Her plight was hopeless, but his need not be. She would do whatever she had to in order to keep him safe.
“We must not speak of this letter to Cam. I will not ask you to keep a secret from your husband, but please tell him not to mention it to mine. I don’t want him to be upset or worried over this.”
“Worried?” Kenna’s eyes went wide. “Worried isn’t even half of what the man will feel when he finds out.”
“Even more reason to keep him from finding out. I can’t have him sitting on the south wall day and night, waiting for the English to arrive.”
“What will you do?”
“Let me think on it. I’ll come up with a plan.”
Kenna patted her hand, anxiety clear in her eyes. “I will wait to mention it to Lach until we’ve come up with a plan. I canna lose you, Mari. I just got you back.”
Mari’s sister wasn’t one for dramatics, but being a mother brought on strong emotions, and they were getting the best of Kenna as her eyes brimmed over with tears. “All my bairns love ye, sister. You’re their only auntie.”
Mari took Kenna into her arms, and they swayed together. “Things will be fine. You’ll see,” Mari promised, though at the moment she had no idea how things could ever be fine again.
…
Mari was quiet at the evening meal, and quieter still when they walked to their chamber that night. Cam had seen her angry, but that wasn’t the case now. She wasn’t mad as much as distracted.
“Is everything well with you, wife?” he asked when they were in the privacy of their room.
“Yes.” She smiled, but it wasn’t her normal smile. It was the fake duchess smile she forced to her lips when she was being pleasant and didn’t want to be.
That was no kind of smile for him. He wanted her real smile, or he wanted to know why he wasn’t worthy of it.
“Now I know for sure something is the matter. Your lips are pressed into the false smile of a duchess.”
“I was a duchess, if you recall.” She looked away.
He crossed his arms, trying to read her, but she would not meet his gaze.
“I recall what you were. But I thought the days of seeing that forced expression were over. What has ye unhappy, lass?”
“I believe I answered your question already. Do you plan to interrogate me until I invent something merely to satisfy you?”
Who was this woman in his wife’s skin? His Mari’s fiery green eyes stared back at him for a few seconds before skittering away once more.
“A dog growls so he doesn’t have to bite,” he said, waiting her out.
She scowled at him. “Are you calling me a dog?”
“Nay, and you’re doing it again.”
“What are you accusing me of, exactly? I can’t be sure with all the talk of biting and growling.”
“I’m accusing you of starting an argument with me so you don’t have to speak the truth. You’re hiding something. Why not just tell me what it is so we can deal with it together?”
“Can we not just go to bed? I’m much too tired to puzzle out what you want from me.” With that, she dropped her gown on a chair and crawled into bed in her shift.
As was his habit, he watched the way the thin fabric caressed her skin. His cock stirred, but he frowned, knowing he wouldn’t approach her tonight. It was clear she didn’t want his conversation or his touch.
Very well. He would give her space. She’d lived with her first husband’s demands for many years. It might take as many years for her to realize she was free to be upset with him or simply in need of solitude.
He slid into bed next to her and kissed her shoulder since she was facing away from him. “If I’ve done something to upset you, know I’m sorry for it.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Her voice was thick with tears.
“Why do you weep? Will you at least let me hold you and offer comfort if you don’t want to discuss it?”
She turned toward him and nuzzled against his chest so close they all but shared the same skin. She kissed him and ran her hand lower along his stomach.
“Make love to me, husband,” she whispered.
“I’m always happy to oblige.” He rolled her onto her back and kissed her everywhere. “I’ll pleasure ye until a real smile is back on your face,” he promised.
He knew her interest in being with him was genuine, but still, it was clearly another distraction.
He brought her pleasure, but the smile he longed to see didn’t return.
Over the next few days she stopped snapping at him, but she kept him at a distance. He was certain he hadn’t done anything specifically to cause the change. But no matter how many times he asked, she wouldn’t share her burden with him.
He thought of it often as he trained with his men. Pushing them into the night so they’d be ready for whatever happened to break the unrelenting tension.
Each night when he went to his bed, she made love to him with the eagerness of a condemned woman in her final hours on earth.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Mari turned for another pass along the battlements, feeling trapped despite the miles of rolling land spread out before her. A calm breeze tangled strands of escaped hair, but she still had trouble breathing. A raven circled high above the castle, and she wished she were as free as that.
Cam stepped into her path. “What the bloody hell are you doing up here?” he asked. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“I needed some air, and since I’m forbidden to leave the keep without one of your men, and you have them all training every second of every day, I came up here so I could be alone with my thoughts.”
Her thoughts had given over to fear hours ago. She felt nearl
y panicked as she scoured the horizon, watching for the English to crest the ridge and head for the castle.
“You know ye need only ask, and I’ll take you out or have one of my men do it. And as for being alone, we’re done with that. You’re my wife. You’re not alone. You cannot leave me out of whatever is bothering you. I won’t have it.”
“Oh? And what will ye do? Shake it out of me?”
She took a step toward him, fists clenched, but her voice quivered with fear. She knew better than to be afraid of Cam, but she’d never been so full of rage. While it hadn’t been caused by her husband, he was the only one she had to direct it to.
Unfortunately, he knew her well.
He held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll not let you bait me into an argument or seduce me into distraction. I may not be bright, but I know what you’re up to, lass, and I’m done. I’ve given you days to think things over, but still you won’t come to me. Until you can speak to me as your true partner, you can keep your hands and your biting tongue to yourself.”
“You didn’t even want a wife!” she called after him.
“Maybe not. But I have one, and I’ll thank ye to start acting like her.”
He turned and left her. The breeze caused a chill as her tears overflowed. What had she done?
More important, what was she to do now?
That night, Cam stayed out until after she’d gone to sleep.
She was shaken awake by her husband. “Mari? You’re dreaming again. He’s gone. He cannot hurt you anymore,” he attempted to reassure her.
“I know.”
And she did know. It wasn’t the duke she had dreamed of this time. It wasn’t her past that had caused cold sweat to rise on her skin and triggered her panic.
It was her future that had brought on this nightmare.
In her dreams she was being chased by Sir Ridley and the other Scot, just as she had been the day she’d met Cam. The dogs were bigger than they’d been in reality, and foul-smelling venom dripped from their fangs as they tore at her dress, just out of reach of her flesh.
This time when she made it to the clearing, Cam wasn’t able to help her. She called his name, but he didn’t turn to her. As she reached him, she grasped his bare arm. His skin was cold despite the warmth of the day. Her light touch caused him to topple over, and he fell on his back. An English sword stuck up from his chest, and his eyes stared blankly at the perfect blue sky.
Oh, God.
“Make love to me, Cam.” She reached for him, needing to feel his skin warm with life. What had he called it? Battle lust. She was in a battle with fate, and she needed him.
“Nay,” he said.
It wasn’t like him to dissuade her. She touched him, trying to change his mind, but he pulled her hand away.
“I said nay, Mari. I will not allow you to use our joining to hide from what is worrying you. You can talk to me. You can tell me about your dream, if you like. But you will not push me away any longer. Do you understand? Whatever has upset you, it is for us to face together.”
She burst into tears at his words. She wanted so much to confide in him. To tell him about the letter, and how she sometimes woke feeling a rope around her neck, unable to breathe.
But this wasn’t something they could face together. This was her fate, and she’d not allow him to be dragged into it.
“Will you not hold me?”
“Of course.” He pulled off her damp shift and tucked her in against his warm body. “You are safe in my arms, Mari. I’ll not let anything hurt you. Even the demons that haunt you in your dreams. Tell me. Together we’ll conquer them.”
She would not tell him about the letter, but there was part of her dream she could share. “I dreamed of those boys, tying me up and throwing me in the cart to earn the reward. I can’t help but think it could happen again. A hundred pounds is a lot of money to a crofter or a farmer in these parts. A person might turn in their own mother for that sum.”
“Nay. Not a MacKinlay. We’re loyal, and you are the laird’s sister-in-law. No one would even dare consider it. ’Tis why it was mere lads who snatched ye up. No man would have done such.”
But Mari knew it wasn’t just the MacKinlays she had to worry about.
Soon enough the English would be here, and life as they knew it would be over.
…
Cam left Mari to sleep longer. She’d worn herself out crying and dreaming all night. She needed rest. He took a seat next to Kenna in the solar and scooped the babe into his arms.
“My, it won’t be long until you’re heavier than me,” he said to the child, who looked up at him with Kenna’s green eyes. The older boys looked the spitting image of their da, but this one had some of Kenna in the mix.
“I believe it,” Kenna said with a smile. “He’s an armful, I can tell you that.”
“He has a bit to grow until he fills my arms.” Cam smiled down at the bairn, who reached out and grabbed his lip. “Let me go, or I’ll have no choice but to bite those fingers off.” He made a chomping sound which caused the other boys to giggle and hold out their own fingers to be eaten by the giant. It was a game they often played.
“Is Mari well?” Kenna asked when the boys settled again.
“Aye. She’s sleeping.” He paused and thought of a tactic he hadn’t yet tried. “Actually, Kenna, she’s not well. She’s worried into a frazzle and willna talk to me about it. I want to help, but she keeps me at a distance. I ken she’s your sister, and she may have asked you to keep a secret. But I’m her husband. Should I not know what demons she battles?”
Kenna huffed out a breath and closed her eyes. “I’ll not feel guilty for speaking to you about it. I’ve given her more than enough time to tell ye herself, and she’s not done so. Very well. I’ll do it.”
Even after her defiant statement, Kenna looked around the hall as if making sure her older sister wouldn’t catch her in the act of betrayal.
“She received a letter from her maid in London. It said that Ridley is questioning the servants at her old home. As soon as he forces one of them into signing a statement that they know she went to Scotland, he will have his order to come here and take her back.”
“Is that why she paces the battlements? She’s watching for his return?”
“Aye. Though she hasn’t said what she plans to do if a river of red crests our hills. I’m worried, Cam. I think she plans to do something courageous—and therefore incredibly stupid.”
“Thank you for telling me the truth. I’ll see that she’s taken care of.”
With that, he went back to their room. He didn’t wait for her to wake. Instead, he opened her chest and rooted through her things. When he found no letter there, he went to the other chest.
“What are you doing?” she asked, sitting up in bed.
“Where’s the letter Lucy sent you? I want to read it.”
“Kenna.” Her sister’s name crossed her lips like a curse.
“Aye. Kenna told me after I asked for her help. Asking for your help dinna work, so I went to someone more reasonable. And how do you like that? The wild one is the more reasonable of the two of you.”
Mari stood and went to the blanket that had been on top of the chest. Folding over a corner, she retrieved the note and held it out.
His eyes scanned the paper twice before his mind made sense of the words written there.
“What do ye plan to do when he gets here?” Cam asked in a low voice.
“I’m not sure. But I can’t have you risk your life or the lives of your men for me.”
“That is not for you to decide.”
Brushing aside that nonsense, he left their room and headed down to the bailey. Knowing Mari was in danger pushed him into action. He pressed the men harder and longer. When they protested, he challenged them.
“At this very moment, t
he English could be on their way. We have to be ready. We have to be better. They outnumber us and outarm us, so each of you must fight as three men, not one. Liam, Paul, Rufus, come forward.” He waved at them to hurry. “If the three of you take me, we’ll stop for the meal. If you canna, we keep going. Agreed?”
They all nodded and drew their weapons. They had youth on their side, but Cam was stronger and better trained. Soon Rufus dropped away and then Paul. Liam put up a good show. He was a strategist, and he’d grown in the last months. But eventually Cam deflected a lunge and forced the sword from his hand. Heaving in air, Liam lifted his head as Cam rested his sword tip at the lad’s throat.
“We continue,” he commanded, and everyone lined up again to go through the motions. Another hour, and another, as the noonday sun crested and slipped past its peak.
It was a warm September day and the men were drenched in sweat and growing weak, but still Cam pushed, even knowing he was dancing on the edge of sanity. The sun was moving toward the horizon, and they’d had no food or drink the entire day.
He sparred with Liam again, and the lad stumbled and reached out, raising his sword. The steel wavered, and the boy collapsed in the dirt, his pale blond hair soaked.
“Liam? Lad? Get up.” Cam knelt beside him and touched his pale, clammy face, feeling his heart pounding. “Bloody hell.” His skin was far too hot. He hefted the boy to his shoulders and headed for the loch. “We’re done for the day. Go rest and get something to drink.”
In the nearest shady spot he submersed Liam, making sure to keep his head above the water. When he finally woke, Cam handed over a flask of ale and sat with him as he sipped it.
“I’m sorry for my weakness,” Liam said while resting his head on his knees. “I can’t believe I disgraced myself in front of all the men.”
His color was better, but Cam wanted to make sure he was well. “Nay. It wasna you who was the disgrace, but me. A warrior is only as strong as his body, and I didn’t take care of yours. I’m sorry, lad, truly.”
“You want us to be fierce, as would any war chief.”
Her Accidental Highlander Husband (MacKinlay Clan) Page 19
