Mari’s brother-by-marriage looked surprised at the request, but he nodded and stood to help her to her seat like a gentleman.
“What can I do for you today, sister?”
She smiled at his words. Despite his not-so-welcoming greeting that first day, Lachlan had since made her feel as though she were truly part of his family.
“I’m afraid I’ve come to ask a favor of you.”
“I’ll hear it,” he said. She hadn’t expected him to agree without hearing her request, but it would have made things easier if he had.
“I know you’re aware I received a letter some weeks ago from my maid in London. I know she would have sent it with the utmost discretion. However, it speaks of danger.”
“From London?”
“Yes. It seems they have not given up on their search for me. As you can imagine, when someone murders a peer of the realm, the English are sticklers for justice. Even as we speak, there may be trackers on their way with a warrant for my arrest.”
His brows pulled together. She could see he was trying to come up with a solution, as good lairds did. “And if that is so, what would you have me do?” he asked.
“You have guards posted at the borders to alert us when the soldiers arrive. We should have a few hours’ warning at minimum, yes?”
“Aye. A day probably. You would have plenty of time to escape.” He nodded once. “We could spare some money, and Cam will find you a new home. He’s already made provisions—”
She shook her head. “Dunardry is Cam’s home. You are his family. I cannot ask him to give all that up for me.”
“I do not think you would get a chance to ask him. He would leave with you the instant you were in danger.”
“Yes. He promised to protect me with his life. Which is why I’m willing to do whatever it takes to protect him with mine. They won’t stop looking for me. We would have to keep moving forever. Keep running. That’s no life. Always waiting, wondering if today will be the day I’m found. And when they finally do come upon us…?”
Lachlan pressed his lips together for a moment before turning back to her. “What would you have me do?” This time the question was asked with a hint of desperation.
“If the time comes, I would like you to send Cam on an errand in the opposite direction. I do not wish him to be here when they take me away.”
“Cam would draw his blade across my throat for even considering such a thing.”
“You are the laird.”
“And as Kenna points out, it means nothing if I don’t have the respect of my people behind me. Turning you over to the English is a sure way to lose their loyalty.”
“Perhaps it seems as if I’m a coward, wishing to give up. But if they come here looking for me, they will question everyone in the clan. It’s unrealistic to think something wouldn’t slip. And when that happens, the interrogations would become dangerous for everyone.”
It was clear from his expression he had not considered this. “You’ve thought this through.”
“Every night. It fills my mind constantly. This clan has become my family, and I need to do the right thing to protect them, or live with the guilt and sorrow forever. That is no way to live, my lord. Neither is forcing Cam from his home to spend the rest of his life roaming the earth on the run.” She swallowed and looked away, blinking back tears.
“Your husband—”
“Cam’s promise to protect me with his life will come to fruition, and he will be killed trying to save me. My death is inevitable. But his isn’t.” She stood a little taller, having come to terms with it. “I truly believe I would have died that night at the duke’s hands had I not acted to protect myself. I had never seen the duke so angry. Having lived long enough to come here and spend these last months as Cam’s wife and being part of Clan MacKinlay was more than I ever hoped to have.”
Lachlan did not look happy. “As you’ve said, you are one of us. And Clan MacKinlay protects its own. When you married Cam, it wasn’t just his promise of protection you acquired.”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I appreciate that, and it is because you have all become my family that I could never bring a fight with the English to your gates. When the time comes, I ask you to deliver me to them without resistance.”
“I think your sister is going to have something to say about that.” Lachlan rubbed the back of his neck.
“Which is why you cannot tell her.”
He laughed once. “You ask me to keep this secret from my wife?”
“I do. I know you have given her a promise of protection. Delivering me to the English is keeping that vow in the best way you can. I am sorry you are caught in such a situation. She will be angry with you, I’m sure. But when she calms, she’ll see you did the right thing.”
“It’s the when she calms part that has me worried.” He rubbed his jaw. “Let me consider all of our options. Mayhap there’s still a way to protect ye without such an extreme plan.”
She nodded and went to the door, hoping he could come up with something she hadn’t thought of.
Hiding here wasn’t a viable option. The soldiers would rip the village and the castle to shreds looking for her. If she wasn’t found, that wouldn’t be the end of it. Surprise inspections and searches would be ongoing and relentless. She’d thought of every possible outcome, and the only one that ensured the people she loved remained safe was turning herself in.
“I ask that when the English arrive, you at least let me know, so I can be part of your decision.”
He gave a reluctant nod. “I will discuss it with you, if ever they arrive.”
…
Cam went to find Mari as soon as he arrived home. He was filthy from travel, but he needed to see her. He’d only made it into the hall before she slammed into him. Her arms looped around his neck and he bent to kiss her, not caring who else might be in the hall to see them.
“God, I’ve missed you. It’s only been a few weeks, but it’s felt like years since I kissed you.”
“It feels the same to me.” She laughed and kissed him again. “I’ll have a bath brought up.”
“Nay. I must see Lach first, because once you get me in our rooms I’ll not come out for a few days.” She blushed, and he pressed a kiss to her head. “You haunted my dreams, wife.”
“You were in mine as well.”
“Do I take that to mean your nights weren’t filled with terrors?”
She frowned, and he saw the truth.
“We’re safe. I’ll make sure of it.”
“And what about your safety?” she asked.
He let out a breath and pulled her to his chest. He couldn’t lie to her, but he wasn’t ready to tell her of the soldiers he’d encountered. He needed to speak with Lach and determine their options first.
“Get us some food. I’ll meet ye upstairs shortly.”
She nodded and left. He watched her until she was gone, then went to find the laird.
“Nay, like this, Roddy. Hold it like this,” Lach instructed his child as Cam walked into the solar.
“Isn’t he a bit young for swords?”
“Do you remember the first time you held a sword?”
“Nay. I thought I was born with one strapped to my hip. My dear mother complained my birth was a horrendous battle.”
They laughed as Lach slapped him on the back in greeting. When he released his cousin Cam took up a small wooden sword and tapped it against the matching one in Roddy’s hand. The boy laughed and made a move to stab him.
Cam fell to the floor and moaned in a display of pain, causing the other twin to jump on him as Roddy struck him again. Both boys dissolved into giggles when he lurched up from his fake death to grab and tickle them.
Once they’d settled, the nurse arrived to take the children away. Cam gave them each a smacking kiss on the cheek before h
anding them over.
“You’ll make a good father someday,” Lach said when they were alone.
Cam nodded. “I don’t fear it like I once did, but it’s not something I wish for right now. Not with what we may be facing.”
“Something’s happened?” Lach guessed.
“Aye. Squads of English soldiers are visiting every port with a notice about Mari, including a likeness. In a matter of weeks, every sailor and dock mate will know her face. We’ll not be able to board a ship without encountering someone who wishes to earn the hundred-pound reward for her capture.”
Lach drew in a long breath. “We’ll think on it and come up with something.”
Cam noticed the man’s bleak expression and knew the laird had been worrying over this since Cam had brought Mari home.
“I’m sorry this will fall at our door.”
“We do what we must to protect our kin,” Lach said. Cam nodded in agreement and went to find his wife.
…
Mari already had the bath prepared for Cam’s arrival. She expected him to want to sit and relax in the tub while he told her of his trip, but he didn’t. Instead he washed quickly and came to her naked, without so much as drying off.
“If you don’t want your gown drenched, you should remove it.”
She laughed and clutched at the laces as he reached around her, making her clothes wet as he helped. Once she was naked, he kissed her and led her to the bed, where he laid her back and covered her with his body.
The way he touched her scared her. It was as if he knew it was the last time they’d lie together, or he was worried it would be. When they finished making love, he drew her against him, holding her tightly.
“What’s happened?” she asked, her hand continuing to trail up his chest. She felt his breath catch before he uttered the lie.
“Nothing.”
She wanted to push him to tell her, but doing so might force the truth from her own lips.
“Let’s agree to take each day as it comes,” he finally suggested. “We’ll not think about what may or may not happen in the future. Just today. And then the next.”
“For how long?”
“For as long as we can.”
She nodded in agreement. “Very well. We won’t speak of what might happen.”
“We won’t.”
It seemed a foolish thing not to prepare for the inevitable, but she latched onto his offer with both hands. She’d said her piece to Lachlan. The laird would either give her the chance to save Cam and the clan, or he’d launch them into a battle they couldn’t win.
The decision was out of her hands for now.
She and Cam spent every night in each other’s arms, making love with that same conviction. Live for today. Don’t look too far ahead.
For a month, their plan worked. They lived their lives without the worry of tomorrow.
But as tomorrows tended to do, the one day she’d dreaded for so long finally arrived.
Chapter Thirty-One
Mari woke to the sound of Scottish grumbling. She smiled and stretched, remembering the night before. Remembering all the nights before. All the ways Cam had loved her and she’d loved him back.
“Come back to bed,” she pleaded, missing his warmth in their chilly chamber.
It was still dark. There was only so much practice he and his men could subject themselves to.
“I canna. I’m sorry I woke you.” He leaned down and kissed her. “But I’m not sorry you’re awake now.”
She laughed and sat up, grabbing her wrapper and pulling it on.
He slipped his cold hands inside, causing her to jump and shiver. Autumn was giving way to winter. Each day the sun came closer and closer to losing the battle.
“I’d love nothing more than to crawl back into bed where it’s warm and take you again, but Lach has ordered me to take a message to the McCurdy. I’m not sure when I became a messenger, but he worries there could be trouble. So I must go.”
It took a moment for her sleep-muddled mind to catch up with his words…and the meaning beneath them.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Should only take about five days, a week and a half at the most.”
Lachlan was sending Cam away on an errand. It was possible he truly wanted Cam to speak to the McCurdy laird, but it was more likely this was the distraction she had requested so Cam wouldn’t be here when the English came for her.
Oh, God.
This was the last time she would ever see her husband.
When she tensed in his arms, he pulled away to offer a smile. “I’ll make good time and maybe I’ll be back in four. Don’t worry. If another lass comes running up to me and tries to marry me, I’ll tell her I already fell for that trickery.”
He winked and kissed her on the nose before turning to pick up his sword.
“Cam.” Her voice shook, and she swallowed to get control. It wouldn’t do for him to see her heightened anxiety. She needed to play the part of a wife seeing her husband off for a few days, not a desperate woman saying goodbye forever to the man she she’d come to love.
He hadn’t wanted love between them, and in fact, she hadn’t realized how she felt until this very moment. But she couldn’t tell him now.
He stepped back and placed his arms gently on her shoulders. “Are ye well, lass? You look pale.”
“I’m fine. I’m just going to miss you,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes.
“What’s this?” he teased. “Am I so fine a lover you don’t think you can make it a few days without me?” He kissed her tears away and pulled her close, then his tone turned serious. “It’s hard for me to leave you, too. I never understood before. I’d heard people talk about being bound to someone, but I feel it now. As sure as if we still had that piece of your dress tying us together.”
It sounded as though he felt the same way she felt about him, but she was too afraid to ask.
He kissed her again, and she couldn’t help the way she clung to his shirt.
“I must go.” Another kiss and he turned for the door. “I’ll see ye soon.”
She couldn’t speak. She was torn between begging him to stay and run away with her, and screaming with the unfairness of it all.
He smiled and closed the door behind him. A second after he was gone, she lurched for the chamber pot to cast up her accounts.
…
The barest hint of light illuminated the sky as Cam mounted his horse and headed off on his mission to the McCurdy lands.
A smile claimed his face as he thought of the night before. The smile dimmed slightly when he remembered the uncertain future he and Mari faced. While their months together ensured she did not fear his touch any longer, he knew well what kept her from having true peace in their new life.
They’d been living in a dream pretending they didn’t have anything to fear, when he knew the English were searching for Mari. It wouldn’t be long before they showed up at Dunardry and the war would begin.
She’d killed a duke. The crown would demand justice. Especially when it was a Scottish lass who was to hang for it.
It was long past time for Cam to take her away to safety. He needed to find a new place for them to live. She’d been a duchess, so he wanted to offer her some luxury. Living in the rough, constantly moving, was not an option if they planned to have a family someday.
He’d need to gain a piece of land and build a house. Unfortunately, his soldier’s pay didn’t allow for much. His wife had once lived a life of opulence. While she’d adjusted without complaint to castle life, he couldn’t have his wife living out of a cave.
He frowned up at the sun when it occurred to him that living out of a cave would be far preferable to being hanged.
If she was ever caught, she would be killed.
He must make s
ure that never happened.
…
Mari dressed quickly and hurried down to the hall as soon as Cam had left. She found Lachlan pacing in front of the fire.
“Are they coming?” she asked after checking the room to make sure Kenna wasn’t there.
“Aye. I got word late last night. I sent Cam away as you asked of me, but I don’t think I can see through on the rest of the plan. Kenna—”
“My sister will be angry, to be sure, but she and your children will be safe, along with the rest of the clan you’re responsible for.” She swallowed, hoping she wouldn’t embarrass herself by being sick again. Her stomach was a knotted mess of worry and fear. “Would you see me out to meet them so they don’t get close to the castle? If you’d rather not, I can go by myself. But I promised Cam I’d not venture beyond the castle walls unescorted by a warrior.”
Lachlan gave a humorless bark of laughter. “I doubt he’ll appreciate your attempt at following his orders, but I’ll not have you face them alone. I will escort you. It’s the very least I can do.”
She nodded and reached into the satchel she’d packed long ago for this eventuality. Pulling out the letters she’d written to everyone, she handed them to her brother-by-marriage. “Will you see that everyone gets my letters?”
“Of course.”
“Then I’m ready.”
That was a bald-faced lie. No amount of planning could prepare her for this moment. She had looked at Cam for the last time. She only wished she’d realized how she felt about him before it was too late. Somehow, never saying the words “I love you” seemed her greatest betrayal.
Lachlan bit his lip and shook his head. “I’m not sure I’m ready. You have become my sister in heart, and I truly don’t want to lose you. My children will only remember you from stories, and I fear I will always feel responsible for that loss.”
She hadn’t expected this from the normally practical and hardhearted laird. But she’d known there must be something under his shell that her sister had found appealing and worthy of her love.
Her Accidental Highlander Husband (MacKinlay Clan) Page 21
