by Jackie Lau
You know how my family always plays Pictionary at Chinese New Year? Zach’s new girlfriend got “shaft,” and she drew an enormous picture of a dick. In front of my entire family.
LOL. Were your grandparents scandalized?
Yeah, I think they were.
How did your team do? he asked.
I wasn’t on a team. As the only one who wasn’t part of a couple, I got to be scorekeeper.
Which she hadn’t minded. It meant Zach didn’t bug her about her drawing skills.
She suddenly realized she’d spent her entire drive home looking forward to telling Sebastian about a Pictionary game. It didn’t mean she liked him, but... Her excitement about telling him was disturbing, nonetheless.
Time to make this sexual.
She opened the top drawer of her night table and sent him another text.
Speaking of big dicks...
* * *
Wednesday evening, Amber saw Sebastian again.
Thursday evening, she was sitting in front of her TV, watching a baking competition and trying to decide what to crochet next.
Sebastian had liked her little peacock. Maybe she could make something for him. But what would be best? Which animal was his favorite?
Okay, she had to admit that she liked Sebastian a teeny-tiny bit as something other than a friend. She was thinking of doing a crochet project for him, which wasn’t the sort of thing she did for Gloria or Roxanne.
But this could never become anything more.
First of all, she was off dating at the moment. Now, it had been nearly a year, and the reason she’d stopped dating was because she was the Queen of Bad Boyfriends—and Sebastian was nothing like her exes. He was a good guy.
He’d made her French toast for breakfast. With baked fruit and a garnish.
He was thoughtful and considerate in the bedroom...in a totally ungentlemanly way. She squeezed her thighs together at the thought of what they’d done together last night. He’d blindfolded her with one of his ties and pleasured her for half an hour, until she was begging for his cock. He’d whispered such naughty things in her ear...
She’d assumed they’d sleep together a couple times and that would be it. Except it had been going on for a few weeks now, and she had no desire to end it. This was exactly the sex she needed.
And, okay, there was that teeny-tiny feeling of romance.
Her friends had a point, much as it pained her to admit it.
Sebastian would not be the bad boyfriend she was afraid of, but was she ready for a relationship? With a Lam?
That was the big problem. She might be interested in dipping her toe back into the world of romance, but with Sebastian, she couldn’t simply dip her toe. Their families would make sure of it.
They could avoid telling their families for a little while, but not forever, especially since Sebastian was an honest guy who didn’t like keeping secrets.
He’d asked her if he could tell Zach there was something going on between them—because he was seeing Zach this weekend and would feel weird about his friend not knowing—and Amber had said yes, as long as it was vague and Zach swore not to tell anyone else.
She wasn’t sure how Zach would take this. He was her older brother, after all, but Sebastian thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, and she was trying to believe him.
Their parents absolutely couldn’t know, however.
Besides, she only liked Sebastian a teeny-tiny bit, and maybe she should stop seeing him soon, to prevent those feelings from becoming anything more.
No, she wouldn’t make him a peacock.
* * *
Sebastian drove back to Stratford, whistling along to the music in the car.
After visiting his parents this afternoon, he’d stopped by Zach’s house in Mosquito Bay and told his friend that he was seeing Amber. To his relief, Zach had been fine with it. This was what Sebastian had expected, although he hadn’t been entirely confident.
With Zach, Sebastian had pretended he didn’t know where things were headed with Amber, though that wasn’t true. He knew he was falling in love, but he hadn’t wanted to say it out loud until he’d spoken to her, and that wouldn’t be for a couple more weeks.
Valentine’s Day.
Yes, Sebastian had finally settled on a date.
Sure, Valentine’s Day might be a little lame and predictable, but he liked the idea of it. It seemed fitting, since her basket had been full of discounted Christmas chocolate when they’d met at the grocery store, that this involved another holiday. Plus, Valentine’s Day was on a Friday this year. The timing was good.
Until then, he’d be very sweet—except in the bedroom—and prove he was the guy she deserved.
He just hoped she’d be interested, and he hoped he could reassure her that his parents would like her and wouldn’t interfere that much.
Chapter 10
“You will never guess what happened!” Ah Ma said.
Amber held the phone closer to her ear as she reclined on her couch. “What?”
“Guess!”
“No, I’m not playing this game.”
“Fine, be no fun,” Ah Ma said. “Zach’s relationship was fake. Jo wasn’t his girlfriend.”
Amber sighed. “I already knew that.” Her mother had called her the other day.
She’d been surprised. Zach and Jo had seemed like a real couple at Chinese New Year. However, she could understand Zach’s desire to avoid further matchmaking.
“You already knew?” Ah Ma shouted. “Aiyah. I thought I had big exciting news! But did you hear the rest of the story? They are now together for real. It is like a novel! Maybe you should get a fake relationship and turn it into a real one.”
Zach and Jo’s story did sound sweet, yes. However, Amber was not interested in doing that herself.
“Guess what I am doing now?” This time, Ah Ma didn’t give Amber a chance to respond. “I am having orange juice in a glass with a little umbrella. I use the umbrellas every time I have water or juice.”
“You mean the cocktail umbrellas from the time we had piña coladas?
“Yes! That was a great day, wasn’t it?”
“To be honest,” Amber said, “I’m surprised you remember any of it.”
“Silly girl! Of course I remember. I had a piña colada, and it was delicious! Then I went home and had a long nap.”
“Do you remember going to the mall?”
“We didn’t go to the mall.”
“Yes, we went to Masonville. You don’t remember because you were drunk. You were trying to get me to wear clothes that would make me look like a hot piece of ass.”
“Wah, don’t use those naughty words.”
“I’m just repeating what you said.”
“Hmm,” Ah Ma said. “I guess it sounds like something I might say if I was drunk. So, did it work? Do you have a boyfriend now?”
“No boyfriend.”
Why did that feel like a lie? It wasn’t a lie. Amber had a fuck buddy, not a boyfriend.
“You hesitate!” Ah Ma said.
“No, I did not hesitate.”
“Yes, you did. You have a boyfriend! Amber has a boyfriend! This is so exciting! All grandchildren have partners now!”
There was a kerfuffle at the other end of the phone, then Amber’s mother said, “You have a boyfriend?”
Amber sighed. “No, I do not.”
“Why does your grandmother think you do?”
“I paused for a split second, and she misinterpreted that pause.”
“What’s his name?”
“Se—I mean, I have no boyfriend!”
Amber was used to lying to her family about her dating life. She carefully controlled the information she gave her parents, grandparents, and three older brothers. No sense making things harder for herself.
But despite all her practice, she’d nearly screwed up just now.
What was wrong with her?
“What did you say?” Mom asked.
“I said
I have no boyfriend.”
“Okay, I’ll take your word for it,” Mom said in a completely unconvincing tone.
There was some more banging on the other end of the phone, then Ah Ma was back. “Where did you meet him? At the grocery store? Did you wear sexy clothes?”
God, this was spinning out of control.
Yep, when this conversation was over—Amber had no idea how long it would be—she could use some sex to help her forget.
* * *
As it turned out, Sebastian wanted to go out for lunch first. He’d named a wood-oven pizza place downtown that he wanted to try, and Amber’s mouth had started watering, even though all her instincts had screamed, “No!”
She loved this restaurant. For half of the year, during the theater festival, it was busy and you needed reservations. It wasn’t far from the theaters, and it was popular with the out-of-towners who came to Stratford for a weekend of Shakespeare and other plays.
But at this time of year, they were able to walk right in and get a cozy booth.
It felt like a date. True, lunch was somehow less romantic than dinner, and Sebastian didn’t hold her hand under the table, but still. He was wearing a button-down shirt with pale blue stripes, open at the throat, and she couldn’t help wanting to climb onto his lap, right here in the booth.
If they had this place all to themselves...
“And for you?”
Oh, shit. The server was here and wanted to know her order. She’d barely looked at the menu, distracted by Sebastian’s good looks.
Thankfully, she was familiar with the selections. She ordered the pizza with asiago cheese, three types of mushrooms, and sausage—it was her favorite.
The server left them alone and Amber returned to looking at Sebastian, studying his facial features. He had dark eyes and a slightly wide nose. His jaw was not as square and angular as what she traditionally thought of as ideal masculine features, but somehow, when you put every part of him together, it was perfect.
When she’d seen him at the grocery store, she’d been caught off-guard by his good looks, but now she found him even better looking than she had then.
She nearly reached out to touch his hand, then held herself back.
No, she wouldn’t.
This was getting dangerous. It was too much like a relationship. They shouldn’t see each other again.
Her heart sank. She’d enjoyed their time together, the bubble tea and the homemade breakfast...
Wait. Why was she focusing on those things? She should be focusing on the sex.
Yes, the sex.
“Has a woman ever grapefruited you?” she blurted out.
His eyebrows drew together. Ooh, he was kind of adorable when he looked puzzled.
Sexy. That’s what he was. She shouldn’t be calling him adorable.
And God, what was wrong with her? Why was she bringing up the weird grapefruit technique? Damn Gloria.
“Here’s how it works.” She decided that plunging ahead with this conversation was better than any romantic thoughts. “You slice off the sides of the grapefruit and cut a hole in the middle. Big enough for a dick. So for your dick, it would be, um, kind of a big hole, because you’re thicker than average. And yes, I’ve been with lots of guys, so I know these things.”
She was trying to put him off her romantically, telling him about this bizarre grapefruit technique, plus the fact that she’d had lots of partners. But of course the latter didn’t affect him; he already knew something of her past and had been fine with it.
“Okay,” Sebastian said, still frowning. “You put a grapefruit on my dick. Then what?”
“I twist and squeeze the grapefruit around while I suck on the head of your penis.”
Sebastian stared at her in wide-eyed horror. “I assure you none of my sexual partners have ever juiced a grapefruit while giving me a blowjob.”
“Would you be willing to do it?”
He said nothing.
“I take it that’s a no. Oh well, it was worth a try.”
He continued to look at her in horror, and then the corners of his mouth twitched and he let out an enormous laugh.
“How do people come up with these things?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Apparently it’s quite messy—”
“No shit.”
“And rather noisy, too. Here, I’ll show you the video.”
“Amber, I don’t want to watch porn in a restaurant.”
“It’s not porn. She uses a zucchini or cucumber instead...or maybe it’s a dildo. Hmm, I forget. I’ll show you later. I’m told there’s also a scene in Girls Trip.”
“Well, if you like, we can watch the movie this afternoon.”
No! How was this becoming romantic? She was talking about juicing a grapefruit on his dick, and he was talking about watching a movie together. He probably imagined them cuddled up with a bowl of popcorn on her couch.
“How about donuts?” she asked, pushing ahead.
“I like donuts.”
“Have you ever used them during sex?”
“I’m not seeing how this would work. Unless you mean the hole...”
“It would go around your dick.”
“This is something you’ve done before?”
She shook her head. “Nah. But would you, if I wanted to?”
He picked up her hand and said, in dramatic fashion, “For you, darling, I’d do anything.”
He was goofing around. It was fine. It didn’t mean anything.
Though “goofing around” didn’t really fit Sebastian’s personality—he’d become more comfortable with her in the past few weeks, it seemed.
“I still don’t quite know how it works,” he said.
“And yet you agreed, without knowing the details.”
“Foolish of me, I know.”
“I’d just...eat the donut off your dick.”
“What kind of donut would you use?” he asked.
“Chocolate dip, I think.”
“You answered quickly. You put a lot of thought into it?”
“No, I just like chocolate dip. Though something with sprinkles might be nice.”
“Is that so?” He stroked his chin, as though taking this very seriously. “Might be messy.”
She imagined multi-colored sprinkles all over his navy sheets. He’d probably hate it.
“Better than Boston cream,” she said.
“How would that even work? There’s no hole in a Boston cream donut.”
“Remember the grapefruit. I could cut a hole in it. You need to be adaptable.” She patted his hand again.
“And then there would be cream all over my dick.”
“Yeah, I suspect that would be inevitable.”
“It would definitely be inevitable,” he said. “So after you ate the donut—and hopefully didn’t bite me—you’d have to lick off the cream.”
“Ooh. Sounds dirty.”
“But if you’re going to put a donut on my dick,” he continued, “you might as well go all-out. Chocolate dip? Boston cream? Those are boring. I used to go to a gourmet donut place in Vancouver, and they had pumpkin spice donuts every fall, filled with pumpkin spice custard.”
“Pumpkin spice donut dick. I like it.”
“They also had a cherry cheesecake one, with cherry jelly and cheesecake filling.”
“OMG, you’re making me hungry.”
“For donuts?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Or...?”
And even though they’d been talking about something utterly ridiculous, Amber couldn’t help clenching her thighs together.
“Both,” she said.
“I’d take you to that donut shop if it was anywhere near here.”
“There’s a donut place in London called Glazed. I went there a few weeks ago.”
“We could go together sometime.”
He was making plans for the two of them, but Amber couldn’t keep doing this. She couldn’t go out with Sebastian. Their families would drive them abs
olutely bonkers, and they already drove her bonkers as it was. She’d only be willing to put up with that if she was head-over-heels in love with him, and she wasn’t.
She had to put an end to this. Today would be their last time together. It was getting too intimate for her.
“So, what do you think you’d prefer?” Sebastian asked. “Pumpkin spice donut dick, or cherry cheesecake donut dick?”
“A honey cruller would be less messy, and I think it would flatter the shape of your penis. Though the cherry cheesecake would bring out the color.”
“Ahem.”
Amber whipped her head around. The server was standing at the end of their table, one pizza in each hand. She told herself not to blush. There was nothing strange about these sorts of conversations at lunch, was there?
Okay, maybe there was.
“Thank you so much,” Amber said as the server set down her pizza.
Her dining companion covered his embarrassment by drinking his water.
Unfortunately, he choked.
“You okay?” she asked when the server had walked away.
“I’m fine. But perhaps we should keep the conversation a little more PG-rated for the rest of the meal.”
“I know, I’m terrible. You can’t take me anywhere.”
He smiled at her from across the table, and that definitely did not make her heart sing.
No, it did not.
* * *
For dessert, Amber suggested they get tiramisu. To go.
Sebastian looked rather concerned.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not going to coat your penis in tiramisu.”
“After our earlier conversation, I hope you understand my fears.”
“Hmm.” She put a finger to her chin and pretended to consider it. “Intriguing idea.”
“Amber,” he said sternly, in a way that made her want to misbehave.
They did end up getting the tiramisu to go, and when they arrived at Amber’s apartment, she slid it onto a plate and placed it on her small dining room table.
“Now let me slip into something more comfortable,” she said with a wink.
She went to her bedroom and opened up her night table. She pulled out the skimpy red babydoll that she hadn’t worn in quite a while. Normally, she wouldn’t put on lingerie for a man who wasn’t her boyfriend, but she looked stunning in this, and she wanted Sebastian to see it once.
