by Parker, Ali
“I’m sorry.” I went to get in position and tried to focus, but I kept feeling like I had really screwed things up. But Seth’s words had hurt me deeply, and it was hard to tell if his intentions were pure or not.
I had always been a tomboy compared to my sister, who was way girlier and even more petite than me before her eating disorder. I had never worn much makeup, dresses, or girlie clothing. Most of the time, you could find me in boots and jeans with a worn-out T-shirt.
Jewelry wasn’t a big deal either, and I had one pair of diamond-stud earrings I had worn every day since I had gotten my ears pierced in high school. I’d never found another pair I liked more.
When Seth came to talk to me at an Omega House party months ago, I had been surprised he had even noticed me at all, much less asked for my number. He was extremely hot, really nice, and so popular that I couldn’t help but want to get to know him too.
But all of the bad rumors eventually got around to me. The one about him being Layla Roberts’s cheating ex and how horrible he had treated the girl when they were dating was the most popular one. And how he didn’t know the meaning of commitment, much less faithfulness. I had heard it all, but through that, I still felt like they were talking about someone else. Seth had never shown me that side.
It just wasn’t the Seth I had known, and I had given him the benefit of the doubt until that night at the Omega party.
As practice continued and we finished up working on the plays, Coach Simms talked to us about our progress and sent us to run a lap. I had my mind in the clouds anyway, and while the other girls were all talking and carrying on, I still couldn’t shake Seth from my mind.
What if I was making a mistake? What if I was throwing it all away on an overreaction?
Chapter 2
Seth
Avery had me spellbound as she ran around the field. The girl had a perfect body, and I ached to wonder if she would ever give me the time of day again. I didn’t know what had put her off of me, but I had done all I could to show her how special I thought she was and how much I really liked her.
Carrying around a bad reputation was frustrating more than anything. I didn’t mind being known as a party animal or a bad motherfucker who was not to be messed with, but some people acted as if I had beaten Layla or something. The truth was, the girl was my first love, or so I had thought, and I’d never laid a hand on her to do her harm. Hell, I thought I wanted her back more than anything.
And then I met Avery.
She had caught my attention, and so far, I hadn’t been able to give my attention to anyone else.
My life had been complicated. Layla and I came from the same background and could understand what the other was going through, but there came a time when I could see the light at the end of my tunnel, a way out away from the drama, and Layla kept letting her family pull her back in.
It wasn’t a reason to cheat, no, but after you spend so much time with someone so similar to yourself, you got bored.
Honestly, my cheating had nothing to do with Layla and more to do with me acting out. If I could drown myself in sex, maybe I wouldn’t have to face the other problems that I was getting away from.
“Mills!” yelled Coach Carr. He waved me over, and I hurried as not to upset him more. He could be a tyrant when he was in a bad mood, but then again, some people might say the same thing about me.
“Yes, sir?” I glanced at the fence as Avery passed by. God, her ass is perfect.
Coach cleared his throat. “If you’d give me your undivided attention, I have a little bit of advice for you to take.”
“What’s that, sir?” I thought he was about to run a play by me or give me a pointer.
Instead, he pointed across the field where Avery ran, her ponytail bouncing along with her sweet tits. So hot.
“You need to get that one off of your mind. You’re the team captain, and with playoffs coming up, you don’t have time for girl drama. You’ve been paying more attention to her than you have me today.”
“Sorry, sir.” I didn’t bother telling him that Avery had given me the cold shoulder for the past two weeks or that she had barely texted. Instead, I made a promise to him and myself. “I’ll do better, sir.”
“Good. Now don’t get me wrong, son. She’s a fine young lady, and I get that, but you’ll have time for girls when the season is over. And I need you focused.”
“Yes, sir!” I looked over his shoulder where Avery was in the distance now, and I tried not to let my eyes follow her.
“Dammit, Seth! Get your head in the game! You have to be more mature because the younger players look up to you. And don’t even give me that innocent look,” he added as I tried to do just that. “If you don’t straighten up and pull your weight, I’m going to have to replace you. I remember that lovesick shit you pulled on me when things went south with Layla Roberts. You were useless to me for weeks, and I still gave you another shot and made you captain this season. So I don’t know what is going on with you and Avery Russell, but you need to get over it and quickly. Put it on the backburner and let it simmer. You’ll be happy you did.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I mean it. I’ll kick your lovesick ass to the curb. Do you hear me?” It was hard not to with him screaming in my face.
“Yes, sir!” I couldn’t say it enough and knew it was all he wanted to hear anyway. I glanced over to see a couple of my teammates glaring at me as if I had let them down. The truth was, I had slipped the last game, but that was only because I had a tough time balancing everything on my plate.
I sighed, knowing I was only lying to myself. My problems started when Avery backed off, and as much as I wanted her back, maybe the cold shoulder she was giving me was more than a hint. Maybe staying away was the right thing to do.
“I mean it, son. If you can’t hold to the position of being captain, I’ll find one of those young men who can. You have to be on your game. Now get back to it!”
As he dismissed me, I ground my teeth, and when I got back in line with the others to finish our plays, I felt as if all eyes were on me. That only made my temper flare even more.
“Come on,” I yelled. “Let’s work this play!”
I got into position, and the others did the same, and we ran the play just like the coach had wanted us to. By the time he was done with us, he had a smug smile on his face, and I had one on mine as well.
Despite the scolding, which was earned, Coach Carr had been really tough on me lately, and I wondered how he even knew about Avery and me to begin with. It seemed as if someone had run their mouth or complained. It really sucked when the team, who were supposed to be my friends, didn’t have my back.
After I showered and left the locker room, I walked out to my truck to find Avery parked beside me. She was on her way to her car too, and she gave me a sweet smile as she fished out her keys.
“Hey,” she said. It was the first thing she’d said to me in weeks, and I realized how much I’d missed the sound of her voice.
But, man, she had the shittiest timing. Just when I had made up my mind to do as the coach wanted me to, there she was, looking like a fantasy.
“Hey,” I said, looking around to see if anyone was going to run and tell the coach I was talking to her.
“How have you been?” She met my eyes with those gorgeous greens of hers, and my pulse raced.
“Okay. Focused on playing. How about you?” I tried not to look her in the eyes.
She shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I just thought I’d say hi. I miss you.”
“Yeah, I miss you too. It sucks because I don’t even know what I did.”
“I know, but maybe we should talk about that sometime. Will you call me later?”
“I’ve been pretty busy.” It wasn’t the response I should have given or even the one I wanted to give. But I knew the coach would string me up by my dick if I got in a relationship so close to the championship games.
I wanted to take it back when I saw her expression
change.
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s cool.” She shrank back, walked around her car, and got in, leaving me to feel like a dick. As she drove away, I wished I’d handled that differently. But I didn’t even know what the hell had happened between us.
All I knew was that this time, it wasn’t my fault. I’d tried to give her everything and would have. I thought she was different but maybe not.
I got in the truck and went back to my place. As I made myself an omelet for dinner, I couldn’t help but think about her again. Avery was always on my mind and had my head all fucked up.
I didn’t know why she gave up on me and I wished I had the answers so I could change her mind. It was no secret I came from a problemed past, and yes, I treated Layla poorly, but I wished I could take it all back now. If I had another chance with Avery, I’d take it in a heartbeat and make sure I did things right. I should have just agreed to talk to her. I was still kicking myself for the way things had gone down after practice.
I suddenly had an idea. Not a good one maybe, but it just might be worth it. Another part of me was saying it was too crazy. I wasn’t sure I should bother Layla.
With her and Jayce moving on with their lives together, I was the last person she wanted to hear from.
But something kept nagging me. I just kept screwing up, and I wasn’t sure how to stop. If anyone knew what the fuck was wrong with me, it was Layla. I hadn’t listened to her much when we were dating, but maybe she would not begrudge me a little advice now?
It was a crazy idea, one that could get my ass kicked if I wasn’t careful. “Fuck it,” I said. “Avery is worth it.” And it wasn’t like I was afraid of Jayce Moore.
I picked up the phone and found Layla’s number.
I hit the call button, and I sank down in my couch cushions with my omelet and wondered if she’d even answer.
I wasn’t surprised to hear Jayce’s voice. “What do you want, Seth?”
“Not what you think.” I should have known she’d have her boyfriend answer.
“If it’s what I think, I’m finally going to have a good reason to kick your ass,” he said with a less-than-amused tone.
“Give me the phone.” Layla’s voice sounded just as aggravated in the background as she took it away from him. “Seth, what the hell? I thought I told you not to call me ever again.”
“And since when did I start listening to you?” I was trying to lighten the tone of the conversation, but she still hated me so badly, it made me second-guess why I called.
“Seriously, what’s this about? Jayce is finding his keys, and I’m afraid if you don’t speak up, he’s going to drive over and murder you.”
“I just thought if there was anyone who would be brutally honest with me, it would be you. I need advice.”
“Advice? Seriously?” The tone of her voice had me imagining the look on her face.
“Don’t do it for the asshole I became in the last part of our relationship. Do it for the guy you started dating in the first place.” She had to remember that part of me, even if I didn’t show it often.
“What kind of advice do you want?” asked Jayce. I was suddenly on speakerphone, and I had a feeling the two weren’t going to have it any other way.
“It’s stupid, but I just thought you could tell me what the fuck I do wrong. You know, aside from the cheating and all that shit.”
“Because that wasn’t enough? Is this about Avery? You better not have cheated on her, or I’ll come to beat your ass myself.” Layla liked Avery, and that was both a plus and a minus.
“We’re not even a couple, Lay. And while I can usually pinpoint what I’ve done wrong, I have really tried with her, and I’m lost. I don’t know if it’s her sister telling her the shit from our past, or if it’s just me being a fuckup. I’m really trying, though.” I sounded like a desperate fool and I didn’t care.
“Well, I know she was crazy about you the last time I talked to her, so if she’s not now, it’s because you’re still the screwup I dated.”
“I’m trying not to be. Look, it took a lot to call you, and that should count for something. Besides, Coach Carr doesn’t want a repeat of my being down in the dumps, so I thought if I could talk to you…” I took a deep breath. “Fuck it. I don’t know what I was expecting.”
“You want me to tell you how to fix it,” said Layla. “Talk to her. Go make a fucking effort for once in your life. You took a big risk calling me, sure, but when was the last time you took one for her?”
“I thought I was taking a big risk calling you for advice, but I guess you’re right. Thanks. I won’t bother you again.”
“You’re not a bother,” she said, her voice taking on a more pity-filled tone, which was just what I didn’t want from her.
“She’s lying,” said Jayce, who was still listening in the background. “You’re still a pain in my ass.”
“Stop it,” said Layla, who was trying not to laugh. I could hear the amusement in her tone. And while I would have been jealous in the past that he was on that side of the call with her and not me, I didn’t want to be anywhere without Avery.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I guess I have never said that. And I really am. I’m glad you’re happy.” I just wanted that happiness for myself with someone, and that someone was Avery.
Layla’s voice softened a bit. “Thanks, Seth. I’m glad about how things worked out, and I’m happy. I wish you the best, but seriously, Avery is a good girl. Don’t screw it up.”
“I’m trying not to.” That was the whole point of the call.
“Well, do something about it!” I could tell she was getting really aggravated with me.
“I will, and again, I’m sorry. Sorry for what I did, and sorry that I called. I hope we can all be friends.”
Jayce surprised me by speaking up. “Sure, man. Good luck.”
“Bye, Seth.” Layla’s voice was finally normal, and maybe that meant she forgave me a little bit.
“Bye.” I ended the call and realized my omelet had gone cold. I felt like a miserable lump of shit and dragged myself up to dump the food in the trash on my way to my bed.
I had made one call to make it right, and now it was time to make another.
I lay back on my pillow and pulled the covers over me. I decided calling was a little too much and opted for a text instead.
Can we talk?
I hit send and waited, but no response ever came.
Chapter 3
Avery
After a late practice, I stopped by Clara’s to bring her some dinner. With Dillon gone, I knew he wasn’t around to police her eating, so I decided to take up the task.
When she came to the door, I held up the pizza box. “Special delivery.” I had stopped on the way and gotten what used to be her childhood favorite. I hoped that by offering her foods from our past that still had great memories attached, she’d be more likely to eat it.
“I just ate a TV dinner,” she said. “You should have called first.” She pointed to the coffee table where her plastic food tray was still sitting with a fork and napkin.
“Oh, well, you can always freeze it and have some for lunch tomorrow. It’s your favorite. Pepperoni and ham with onions.” I was starving and carried the pizza into their kitchen, where I wasted no time getting a slice. “Practice has me starving. I hope you don’t mind.” I bit into it and sighed. It was so good.
“No, go ahead,” she said with a laugh. “You eat like Dillon, always coming in after a hard practice and stuffing his face.”
“Have you heard from him? How’s the training going?” It had to be exciting being on the Olympic team. Dillon’s dreams were coming true.
Clara raked her hand through her hair and sighed. “He says it’s tough. He called me earlier and fell asleep on the phone. I told him not to do that in the pool, or he’ll drown, and I won’t be there to save him.”
Dillon had pulled my sister from the brink of death twice when she nearly drowned. “I bet he didn’t f
ind that funny.”
Clara giggled. “Not even a little. But I did. He’ll come around and be able to joke about it one day too.”
“I think that’s wishful thinking. He was devastated. I remember the look in his eyes at the hospital. That’s when I knew he really loved you, and I wished I’d find that with someone.”
“Well, you are free to move on and find someone who will actually treat you that way. You know I don’t think Seth Mills was capable. Better for it to stop before anything got started. He’s like one of those serial killers where they have no emotional grid.”
“Seth isn’t that bad,” I snapped before shoving in another bite.
Clara crossed her arms and looked down at me. “You still like him, don’t you?” She sounded as if that was the worst thing in the world.
“So? What if I do? You don’t even know him. You know about him, and that’s not even the full truth. Think of all of the rumors that went around about you. None of those were true, and at least you had the chance to prove it.”
“Well, you can call and ask Layla what the truth is. I’m sure she’ll fill you in.” While my sister was in recovery, Layla and I had talked a bit, but I wasn’t comfortable calling her for such a reason.
“I’m not calling Layla. I don’t know her well enough.” Not only that, but I knew Seth had really liked her once, and I didn’t want to upset him by doing that.
“Fine, I will.” She picked up the phone, but I snatched it out of her hands.
“You are not calling her. Stop butting into my business.” I had never had to tell her that before, but she was acting ridiculous.
“Your happiness and safety are my business. But fine, I won’t call her. If you see her around, talk to her. No one knows him the way she does. If you want the truth, get it from the source.”
“She knows her side of him. Not mine, and Seth doesn’t act that way with me. No one ever asks how she treated him.” I wasn’t going to ask Layla anything. Their relationship didn’t pertain to ours. “I miss him.”
