by Parker, Ali
“The toast might be a little dark. I need a new toaster.”
“It’s perfect. Thank you.” She took a bite and looked up at me. “What happened to Abigail? I went to the party with her.”
“I told her to stay and enjoy the party and that I would take you home.” I guessed I wasn’t completely honest with her friend.
She looked up at me with those sexy green eyes that were currently full of judgment. “Why didn’t you just take me home? It’s what you should have done.”
“Your sister might have caught us. And with you in that state, I wasn’t leaving you alone, and I didn’t think Clara would ever like me if she thought I was responsible for putting you in that state.”
“You’re right. But you forget my sister no longer lives with me. It would have been fine.”
“Oh. Well, I’ll remember that the next time you get drunk and pass out in my arms. And okay, maybe I just always wanted to have you in my bed.”
She dropped her fork. “Are you sure we didn’t do anything?”
I laughed. “We didn’t. I swear. I was just kidding. You know, because that’s obviously what everyone will think.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, everyone saw me take you out of there. And I’m sure it’s going to get back to Dillon and your sister before you know it. They’ll all think we’re sleeping together. Part of that is my reputation, so I’ll go ahead and apologize in advance for that one.”
“It’s not your fault what they think. It’s mine. I was just so upset. I thought if I got drunk, I wouldn’t have to feel anything.”
“You mean jealousy?”
“That or any sadness. Lots of things. I only had about four shots. And a bunch of those Jell-O things.”
“Those are a little more potent than you think they are, Avery, and hell, four shots is a lot for a girl. Next time, take it slow.”
“Next time? I’ll never be able to go back to Omega House again.”
“Who knows? Never say never.”
She bit into her toast. “This is pretty good,” she said. “I’m impressed you can cook.”
“Well, I know you said you were going to make me work for it, so I hope this counts.”
“Taking care of me does. Flirting with cheerleaders, I’m not sure.”
“I wasn’t flirting, Avery.” I sighed. “I could have taken you to the house and gone back there if I wanted to party with those girls. But I didn’t want them. That should count for something.”
But it didn’t. I was never going to be good enough.
When she finished eating, I drove her home, depositing her safely on the doorstep. “I guess I’ll talk to you later,” I said. Maybe it was all for the best that things had worked out this way. I didn’t need the drama of something so deep clouding up my head.
“Yeah, I hope so.” The look she gave me told me she was close to giving up on me, and it scared me so badly that I couldn’t let it end that way.
Instead of going back to the Jeep, I put my hand on her shoulder, and when she turned from the door, I kissed her again, knowing I couldn’t let her walk away without doing it.
Things were so mixed up in my head, but that was the one certainty, that I needed her kiss at that moment.
Avery was worth it.
Chapter 11
Avery
The goodbye kiss made me think about all I wanted with Seth. But it also had me confused. I couldn’t stop thinking about the party and how it could have gone.
Not only might I have punched that stupid cheerleader in the face, but I might have gotten in serious trouble if I had hurt her, and since I was a rough rugby player and she was half my size, it was a possibility.
And that was only half the problem. I not only would have pissed off the entire squad, but I was sure the Omegas wouldn’t want me around stomping on their sex toys. As it was, I’d probably never be welcome there again, and there was Abi to consider.
My behavior had been so bad that I was sure to have embarrassed her too. I needed to apologize.
I dialed her number as soon as I got settled back home. The phone rang twice before she answered with a sly tone. “Hello, lover girl. How was that hottie who rescued you?”
“I wouldn’t know. Nothing happened with us.”
“Nothing? You mean he took you home and dropped you off? How lame.”
“No, actually, he brought me to his house and undressed me.” I knew how it sounded, and she reacted with a shriek.
“Are you serious? How sweet. So, just heavy making out or what? You little devil, you were hiding things.”
“No, it wasn’t like that. I got sick in his Jeep on the way home, and he had to wash my clothes.”
“Wait, Seth Mills, Mr. Rugby stud himself, washed your clothes for you? That’s a big deal.”
“You might think so, but I’m so confused right now. I mean, he brought me home, washed my clothes, and made me breakfast.”
Abi swooned. “Wow, that’s impressive.”
“More like tense and a little uncomfortable. He’s hard to read. I mean, just when I think I know what he’s feeling, he does something to confuse me.”
“What did he do?” She sounded concerned all of a sudden.
“He kissed me goodbye.” I knew it was going to sound as if things were going better than they were.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t see a problem with that unless he forced you. I think you two both need to get over whatever roadblock you’ve put up and get together. Like officially.”
“I’m not even sure if he wants something official or if he’s just playing games with me. You saw him at the party. He was having a good time with Britany and Lizzy, and I could tell he was surprised to see me. He said he was concerned when he noticed me gone from the game, but come on. Everyone knows he would have ended up sleeping with Britany if I wasn’t around. They have a past apparently. But who doesn’t the male slut of Providence have a past with?”
“I don’t think he would have. And if you’re judging him by the actions of those girls, you might want to rethink that because they can be manipulative. Lizzy has been known to cause trouble in the past and tries to worm her way in to cause trouble.”
“I don’t need it. I need to focus on my grades, play rugby, and graduate. I just don’t know how to do that and not want Seth so badly.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
I hoped so.
* * *
On Monday, I still hadn’t figured anything out. My mind and heart were in a much worse state, and I had just about resolved to let Seth go and take myself out of the social scenes of my school altogether. Sure, it was a Clara move, but this was for many different reasons.
I had gone the entire weekend without so much as a text from Seth, and while I didn’t want to be the kind of girl to expect him to live and breathe me, it would have been nice if he had at least cared enough to want to know how I was feeling.
Instead, I nursed my hangover and my feelings all weekend alone.
So when I saw him at practice standing outside near the field talking to a girl I didn’t recognize, I decided I was wasting time with him. He wasn’t ever going to change.
I tried not to spy on him as he and the girl laughed and talked as she dug in her bag and handed him a slip of paper.
I didn’t have to wonder what that was. Of course, he had asked for her phone number. Why wouldn’t he? She was cute and perky in her little Pro-U cardigan and short skirt.
I went through the motions of practice just to get through it, and when it was time to walk out to the car, I saw Seth at his Jeep.
I hadn’t planned on engaging. Instead, I fished out my keys and had them ready as I approached my car, which was just on the other side of his Jeep. He parked next to me this time.
“Hey,” he said, stopping at the hood. “Aren’t you going to say hi?”
“Hi.” I took out my keys and unlocked the car as I got closer.
He looked con
fused, and I had far too much building on my mind to let him leave without saying how I felt.
As he hit the locks, I turned, and instead of getting in my car, I hopped in the Jeep as he settled behind the wheel. He gave me a strange look when he looked over to find me there.
“Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not. If you’re going to mess around with every girl at this university, you’re going to have to stop kissing me.”
“I don’t understand. What does the rumor mill have me up to this week? I thought the latest rumor would be about us.”
“I don’t need rumors. I can see with my own eyes. You were just flirting and got that girl’s number. How do you think that makes me feel? And right here at practice for everyone to see. I guess now that everyone thinks we’ve slept together, it’s time to move on.”
Seth looked down at his hands, which were gripping the wheel. He looked disappointed, but I guessed that was how he would look, seeing that he had gotten caught.
“I wasn’t flirting with anyone. I was talking to Flora. She’s in my science class, which I’m about to fail miserably if I don’t study the pages she gave me.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a small folded sheet of paper. The one I’d seen her pass to him. “See?”
I unfolded it and read the page numbers. He was telling the truth. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Next time, why not give me the benefit of the doubt? You know, I go to school here, and I know a lot of people, Avery. Guys and girls who I’m friends with and who I talk to. That’s not going to change. So I don’t know what to tell you. If you’re going to be jealous about every fucking one of them, maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need to stop kissing you. But if you’d trust me for five minutes and let me get through this fucking season, maybe we could have something really good. It’s up to you if you can trust that or not.”
“Is that what has you holding back? The game?”
“Coach thinks you’ll be a distraction, and he’s said it enough to put it in the others’ heads that I’m too distracted.”
“So you’re choosing the game? I guess I don’t blame you.”
“No, I’m trying not to choose. I’m trying to get through it all and still keep you. If you can’t handle it, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I overreacted again. I guess you’re getting pretty sick of that.”
“It’s not making it any easier.”
“I’m sorry I make it harder for you. I guess I just have feelings too.”
Seth reached for my hand and pulled it to his lips. “I don’t want to put rugby first, so I thought if I hold back a little, when I’m strong enough, maybe I could buy some time and not lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I guess I just need to know what you want from me. It’s hard to guess.”
“Well, I kissed you, and I want to do it again, and again, if that’s okay with you. But at the same time, Avery, I think it scares me.”
My eyes narrowed. “What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared of falling too fast, too hard, and of screwing it all up because of who I used to be. I’m scared of losing you.”
I moved closer in the seat. “I’m nothing to be afraid of.”
He smiled. “You have no idea. You make me want to be better, and that’s the scary part. I haven’t ever felt this way about anyone else.”
Seth leaned in, and I closed the distance between our lips, kissing him hard to show him how much I wanted it.
I wanted all of it. Everything.
Seth pulled away and looked down. “You make it hard to behave.”
“Who says we have to?” I kissed him again, this time moving across the seat to sit in his lap as he put the seat back.
He rested his hand on my thigh then moved to cup my ass, squeezing me closer as his tongue stroked mine. His hand didn’t stop until it was up my shirt, and I wanted him to touch me everywhere.
Just as things were getting hot and heavy and his windows were fogging up, there was a knock on the window beside us.
“Fuck,” said Seth as I hopped off his lap.
Will Tanner stood outside the Jeep, glaring at Seth. He pounded the window again. “Hey. I need to talk to you.”
“I should go.” I hopped out of the Jeep. Will was Dillon’s friend, and now I was pretty sure everything that happened would get right back to Clara.
“I’ll call you,” said Seth as I slammed the door.
I got in my car in a hurry, not looking back at the two to see what that was about. With any luck, Will wouldn’t be trying to start anything over me and would respect me enough to keep his mouth shut.
On my way home, I smiled, knowing that Seth did have feelings for me and he was just as scared about what would happen between us as I was.
We’d work it out somehow.
Chapter 12
Seth
I put down my window as Avery left, knowing that Will wasn’t going to fuck off unless I made him. “What’s that fucking important?”
“Come on, man. What are you even doing with Avery? She’s young, she’s Clara’s sister, and she’s not the kind of girl you can fuck around on.”
“I don’t plan on it.”
“Look, I didn’t stop by to have this chat, but under the circumstances, I just wanted to warn you that if Dillon finds out you were pawing all over her in the fucking parking lot, he’s going to go ballistic on you.”
“It was mutual, and I’m not worried about Dillon. He knows I’m into Avery. You should mind your own business.”
“After what happened with Layla, you’re not going to get the thumbs-up.”
“For someone who didn’t stop by to chat about my love life, you sure haven’t gotten away from the subject.”
“I’m just saying. But you’re right. I talked to Coach Carr, and he thought you might want to spar with me sometime. Dillon is gone, and he used to do it quite a lot. He said you might be interested in working out some of your aggression on me. Might be healthier than fucking with Avery Russell.”
“I’ll think about it. I’m really just trying to get through the season so I can spend more time with Avery.”
Will laughed. “You just don’t know when to stop, man. After Layla, no one trusts you.”
“Funny, it’s almost as if you don’t think Avery has a choice.”
“I just know how your temper flares up. If you ever decide you want to hit someone, come hit me.”
“I’m itching to right now,” I warned. But instead of acting on that, I put up the window on him instead. “Ass hat.”
I couldn’t believe the guy had the nerve to warn me. Maybe he had a thing for Avery too?
* * *
I decided to stop at a bar just off campus on the way back to my place and drink off the anger Will had triggered.
I was there five minutes when Dillon Coleman and Micah Sanders walked in.
“There’s our boy, Seth,” said Micah. “How’s it going, man?”
Fuck. I just knew Will had called them about Avery and me, and they were probably there to tell me to stay away from her too. Dillon had been good to me before, but with me bringing her home after the party and getting caught making out by Will, he was probably about to take back his approval.
Too bad I didn’t need it.
“It’s going.” I looked over at Dillon, who was sizing me up as if he was about to order my casket.
I took a drink from my longneck as they walked over and ordered their drinks.
“Hey, man,” said Dillon, finally speaking to me. “How’s it going? Rough day?”
“It was going great actually, but I’m sure you already know that, right?” There was no way his little minion hadn’t reported back to him. The others were always kissing up to Micah and Dillon. Will was no different.
Dillon smiled. “Look, I’m not worried about you and Avery. But it does upset Clara, so consider that a reason to do right by her. All I ask is you treat her right. And un
derstand that if you don’t, I’m going to beat your ass.” He said it as if he had no choice, and I could respect that. I’d beat someone’s ass for messing with her as well.
“So, you came in here to tell me that?” He seemed too laidback about the whole situation, and that put me on guard.
“Fuck no,” said Dillon with a laugh. “I came in here to get a beer. It just happens that you were here too. Who knew I could kill two birds in one stop?”
I nodded, thinking it was probably bullshit. Even if he did stop in to warn me, he would never admit it. “Uh huh. I never knew you were so efficient. How was that Olympic camp?”
He sighed and shook his head. “Tough. I’m not sure I know what I’m getting myself into. It’s a lot different than swimming for Pro-U. There’s so much pressure.”
I nodded and took another drink as Micah’s phone rang. The guy stepped away to take it. I turned my attention back to Dillon. “Will asked me to spar with him because you couldn’t.” I wondered why swimming would take him away from friendly sparring. Or maybe Will just wanted a reason to hit me.
“Yeah, he told me. And you should. It’s a good release, and I’m going to miss it. I have to focus on swimming, and the Olympic coach doesn’t want me doing anything else with my time.”
“It will pay off. You’re going to live your dream.”
“So I heard you took Avery home the other night. And that you stopped her from getting in trouble. I appreciate that, but you know there are people talking, right?” He didn’t seem to like that too much, and I had a feeling it was his subtle way of asking me if it was true.
“I would hope you would trust me when I tell you that those rumors are all bullshit.”
“Trust you? I’m not sure you’ve earned that yet, but I do trust Avery. She would tell me if you did anything to upset her. Anything other than that is her business. She’s an adult.”
“Well, I really like her and care about her. And I’m going to see her if people would get off my back about it.” I mostly meant him and Clara.
