I felt like he was trying to tell me something. I know he lost his wife about a decade ago, so who was he talking about? I stood walking toward the bathroom, a shower sounded so nice. I turned on the light and leaned into the shower to turn it on. I just need to keep breathing and keep moving. If I stop, I will never keep going. I undressed and stepped into the shower. Under my clothes was a tremendous amount of blood. It might have been Tommy’s or his murderer. It doesn’t matter, it was washing away. I didn’t know my next step to take. I had to recover from my brother’s death. I put my face under the water and held my breath as long as I could. The thought of staying under the water made me happy for a brief moment. Nothing bad could touch me while I was under the water. I lost track of the time while repeating the day’s events over and over in my head. That moment when the rifle was shot. I followed the bullet as it moved through the trees in the air. Directed at my brother, gaining speed, getting closer to him, and the moment that it hit his chest.
I was brought back to reality by a knock at the door. I shut off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel. “Who’s there?” I felt him in that moment. “Declan?”
I could hear him wetting his lips to speak. “Yes.”
I opened the door and saw him right in front of me. “Shay.”
I turned away from him for a moment.
“I want to talk to you about what happened to you while you were away.”
I turned back to him, this time wetting my lips. “What do you want to know?”
He looked up from the floor for a second and I could tell he was embarrassed. “Do you want to put on some clothes?”
I looked down at my towel. I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” he said, looking down and away from me.
“You’ve seen me naked on more than one occasion and yet you shy away now. It’s just funny.”
He scoffed back. “It is different. When you are in mac tire form nobody cares about naked bodies. You are just free.”
I grabbed a long T-shirt and underwear then went into the bathroom for a moment. “What did you want to know?” He stepped back and forth waiting for me to come back out. Probably so he could see my reactions to his questions. I walked around the corner out of the bathroom in the T-shirt. I chuckled at the look on his face and the fact that I could feel his heart start to beat harder.
“That’s not fair.” He looked away.
“Oh well, I’m comfortable. I’m tired of trying to be someone that I’m not.”
He looked back up at me. “What did the Morrígan do to you?”
I turned away. “She tried as hard as she could to convince me that I needed to become part of the ritual that can be used to destroy the sorcerer named Aodhan O’Dorcha.” Declan seemed very interested in what I was saying. His eyes searched my face for more truths to his question.
“What do you really want to know?” I looked him in the eye.
“What happened between you and Duncan?”
I knew that was what he really wanted to know. “Do you want me to start from the beginning, or did you have anything specific you would like to know?”
He breathed through his nose in frustration. “Start from the beginning. Please.”
“The beginning. I survived my time in a prison cell being tortured by one of the Morrígan’s handymen and when I escaped and ran, I was attacked by hunters. At least I think they were hunters. Duncan saved me. I had been shot here and here.” I paused while I pulled up my shirt and showed him the scars. He moved backward while I had my shirt lifted. It felt like he was pulling away from me, and he was. I continued. “I healed myself and ran from where we were at. We made it to the Gahlonaghan’s and I met Sophia. I learned about Hellena.” I paused. “When I found out you were on the way to the Gahlonaghan’s mansion, there was so much commotion. I was afraid for your life.” I took a step toward him. “You would have been taken prisoner. So I ran to Duncan, and in the amount of time we had, he came up with the quickest solution to fix the problem.” I paused again.
“I was a problem?”
I shook my head. “No, but you coming to me was a problem. Duncan did what he did because he cares about you.”
“And because he cares about you,” he said.
“I didn’t know the depth of it until he kissed me.” Declan turned away from me. I felt his heart hurting all over again. “No, let’s not relive it. But now I would be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for him, and the truth is if I choose you, he will die. If I choose him, you will hurt for the rest of your life. I have just been notified that if I do not choose between the two of you that there could be death for all of us.” I looked up at him. “Do you ever wonder if Hellena chose you so that she didn’t have to lose either of you?”
He sighed. “Every day of my life.”
“I don’t want you to ever think that about us,” I said.
He smiled. “Is there an us?”
I turned away from him. “There is an us, but there is an us between Duncan and me too.”
He sighed again. “When will you know?”
I stood and walked over to the window and when I looked down I saw a hearse pull up to the house. I gasped and put my hand over my mouth. Declan ran to me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. “I am sorry.” I couldn’t cry, but I had so much sorrow inside. My body felt heavy with a dark sadness that was taking over.
There was a soft but quick knock at the door, then it opened. “What do you think you are doing?” Duncan came inside, angry and jealous at seeing that Declan was comforting me.
“There isn’t anything going on. The funeral home is delivering Tommy.” Duncan immediately felt bad that he questioned the situation.
Declan looked at me as he released his arms and took a step back. “This is why you will have to choose.”
Duncan started to walk toward me. “No, stop.” He was surprised that I said it. “My brother died today. I could be next. Can I just have the time I need?” They both agreed and walked to the door.
“Shay, I know that you are confused right now and you don’t know what to do, but don’t run from us. We will figure it out in time and neither one of us will force you into any situation you cannot handle.” After Declan spoke he looked over at Duncan.
“Fine,” Duncan said.
I spoke quickly. “I want to be alone now.” They walked out of the room and shut the door. I stood there with my arms folded across my chest. It was the only protection I was wanting, and I was trying to protect myself and them. I heard a noise from outside, I quickly ran over to the window again and the hearse drove off. I wetted my lips and just looked out the window. And in a whisper I said, “My brother died today.”
➢19 Edness Callamore’s Secrets
I was so tired that I didn’t even think I would be able to make it to the bed. I started to take it step by step until I sat on the bed’s edge. The feeling that I was having was so different than before. I felt like my thoughts were moving so much faster than my body and that it was two separate people.
mind swirled with never-ending thoughts. I felt bad for accusing Edness Callamore of a conspiracy and that she had something to do with Tommy being murdered; it may be true, but it wasn’t the time or place for the accusations. Tommy, he died for nothing. I needed him here. I felt lost. I went to lie down on the bed without reaching the pillows, my head continuing to run the day’s events over and over until I was finally asleep.
***
While I slept, I dreamt, I knew I was dreaming, I stood walking through the house and I was searching for something. I had found Edness Callamore’s room. I opened the door and walked in, it was very regal. Everything had its elegant touch that screamed I’m rich. I saw Mrs. Callamore sleeping in her bed, and I looked around the room to this grand desk by the window and walked over to it. I was able to touch more objects; my abilities were growing. As I searched through the drawers I looked for anything that could tell me what was happening. Edness Callamor
e had to know more than she was telling me.
I found letters from Victor Gahlonaghan that were very recent. They discussed Duncan spending time in their training program and then there was another specifically about Declan. Victor Gahlonaghan discussed what Duncan had done and that Declan was no longer responsible for Hellena’s death. It was a pardon. All of this was good information, but I had lived it; then as I moved through the letters, there was an old-fashioned folded letter that had been sealed with a dark red wax seal of a Celtic knot with the letter M. I opened it and read. It spoke of the female mac tire and progressing abilities. The abilities that M had wanted were exactly what had been happening to me. However, it spoke of the necessity of adhaint bán. I spoke softly. “Ignition white.”
I didn’t understand. I heard movement from the bed where Edness Callamore was sleeping. I quietly put everything back where I had found it and left the room. I walked around a little longer thinking about the phrase adhaint bán. It was weird and an unusual way of stating it. I went over the phrase, considering it along with everything that had happened.
The thought occurred to me that I went from an extreme red fire to this white fire when I was overwhelmed with anger. It only happened after Tommy died, and Sophia had abilities that she shouldn’t have and her twin sister died. What if this last girl that the sorcerer needed to kill had a twin that she received abilities from? I have to learn more. If these families were killing off one of the twins to have the other gain their abilities, then they are responsible for all of these deaths. She would be responsible for Tommy. I opened the door to Declan’s room, and he was sleeping so soundly, I walked in and sat on the edge of his bed. “You know I do love you.” He moved a little and it made me flinch. “I don’t understand how I could care so much for Duncan when I am so completely in love with you. But now I love him the same as I love you. What a tragic day. You know, when I was younger Tommy protected me everywhere we went. I knew I could rely on him no matter what. I now feel that way about you and Duncan. But I’m done being protected by someone.” I paused chuckling as he moved just a little more. “There was this boy when I was little that was just a little older than me and he kept picking on me. One time while we were out at a park playground, that boy pushed me onto the ground and Tommy came up to him and punched him right across the face. That boy hit the ground.” I smiled just thinking about him.
Declan opened his eyes and looked in my direction. I sat quiet waiting for him to speak, but he never did. Instead he got out of bed and walked out of his room and down the long hall to my room. I quietly followed behind him, trying to figure out what he was doing. He opened the door so quietly I couldn’t even hear it, and I was right next to him. He peeked into my room at the bed where I was still asleep. He made a weird face and walked into the room to the bed. He grabbed my hand and felt for a pulse. I thought that was weird. His face changed again, moving his hand to my neck.
He ran to the intercom and hit the alert button, then ran back to me, scooping my body up in his arms. I walked behind him as he walked quickly through the house, carrying my body down the stairs into the infirmary I had once been in. Nate came running into the room. “What happened?”
“I woke up and went to check on her. She wasn’t breathing.” He looked so worried.
Nate started to hook all these cords to me. He checked for a pulse. “She has a pulse. It’s just faint. Nothing else happened?”
Duncan came running down the hall to the room. “What happened? What did you do?”
Declan looked angry. “I didn’t do anything. I found her like this.”
Duncan pushed past Declan and walked over to me, grabbing for my hand. Declan shut his eyes and looked away. “Nate, what’s going on?”
Nate looked back and forth at me then him. “Honestly, it looks like she is in a walking dream.”
Duncan looked at Nate. “Wake her up.”
“It’s not that simple. It looks like there are multiple amounts of brain activity happening. I can’t just wake her up. She is working through something, and she will have to come out of it on her own. She shouldn’t still be having walking dreams at this point in her transition.” Declan nodded his head and then reached to shake Nate’s hand.
I walked out of the room, looking around I seemed to be pulled toward one of the doors down the hall. I walked carefully down the hall, placing my hand on the door knob and gently turning it to the point that it opened. When I opened the room it was lit by the moon light cascading through the small window. It lit a coffin placed in the middle of the room.
“Tommy,” I said in a whisper. I walked toward it even more slowly. I was afraid to get too close. I stammered as I reached to put my hand on the coffin. “Why did you have to die?” As I lowered my head I felt a hand on my shoulder; I turned quickly to see who it was.
“My dear.” It was Edness Callamore. “Tommy will never be forgotten. He will always be with you and now more so than ever. His abilities will empower yours, and you will find the strength you need. I am sorry for the sadness that you feel, however, he sacrificed his life so that you could become more powerful and you will be able to perform the ritual needed to destroy Aodhan O’Dorcha. His sacrifice will not be in vain.”
I stood there in shock that she had the audacity to say these things to me and that she could. “You need to leave,” I demanded. I knew this was her home, but she had no right to stand there and tell me that she basically had Tommy murdered.
“Fine. I only want you to make an informed decision,” she said.
I looked away from her.
As she turned to leave she said, “When you are ready to return to your body you must go to your body and touch.” Then she walked out of the door.
I turned back to the coffin. “I’m so sorry.” I fell apart right there, collapsing to the floor uncontrollably crying. For the first time coming to terms with the fact that he was really gone, and it was truly my fault.
I finally stood with so much rage inside of me that I felt sick. I put my hand on the coffin and then turned to walk away. I went back into the room where I laid hooked up to monitors and watched Declan and Duncan both sitting next to me. They couldn’t see me. It might be possible that Declan could feel me and my pain, but I just don’t know. But Edness Callamore could not only see me, she spoke to me and could touch me. She has abilities of her own and I needed to know what they are. She has more power than she is letting on, and I cannot let her continue to move us around on her chessboard as if we were just pieces to sacrifice. I set my hand on Declan’s shoulder and he turned slightly toward me, then I reached for my body just as Edness Callamore had said.
In that instant I took a deep breath gasping once then my eyes opening to Nate rushing over pushing Declan away to get closer. “Shay, do you know where you are?” I was silent for a moment looking at Nate. “Shay, can you hear me?” He spoke up louder.
“I would like to go back to my room.” Nate was surprised that I just wanted to go back to my room. I put my feet over the side of the bed then hopped down to the floor. It was cold to my bare skin and gave me shivers up my spine. I walked very calmly and slowly out the door with Declan and Duncan walking side by side behind me and followed by Nate. I turned when I reached for the door to the room that held Tommy’s lifeless body. I stopped completely and put my fingertips gently on the door. “It wasn’t an accident.”
I turned to look at them. “Shay, hunters attacked us. Tommy died protecting you.”
I looked at Duncan after he spoke. “They weren’t there for me.”
I moved my hand from the door and continued walking back to my room. When I reached the door I stood for a moment without looking at them and spoke. “Good night.”
I opened the door and went into my room. I could hear Declan and Duncan scoff at each other. I would never be able to trust anyone in this house. How would I be able to pick a mate? I walked over to the window and stood there the rest of the night.
I had so much on m
y mind. How many secrets about my bloodlines were being hidden from me? And worse still could Declan or Duncan have any idea about the Morrígan? Could they be part of her master plan or innocent bystanders? So many people have been strategically placed in my life. How could I think for one second that they weren’t part of this crazy world? I almost let myself cry. “No,” I said softly to myself. My entire life has been set up by people I do not know and want me only for my bloodline. I paced in front of the window for a moment and took a deep breath looking out to the woods and wishing that I could run. But no. My purpose now was to get through today.
➢20 Tommy
As the sun rose my eyes were sensitive to the light and watered. I squinted then turned to go into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I looked for something to wear and when I opened the closet door I saw a new dress hanging, still in the plastic from a dry cleaner. It was black and went just past my knees in a very elegant way. I felt sophisticated when I looked at myself in the mirror.
I heard a knock at the door. “Come in.” I already knew who it was. He opened the door and stepped in wearing black dress pants and a black collar shirt with the top button undone, no jacket. “Good morning.”
I looked over at him. “Declan, can you zip me up?”
He smiled and walked over to me, I turned my back to him so he could zip up the dress. As he pulled the dress together, he saw a scar on my back that was about two inches long. He touched it before he zipped me up. “What happened here?”
I turned and looked over my shoulder. “I was burnt with a cattle prod.” He zipped the dress the rest of the way up and I took a step away from him to go grab a pair of black dress shoes.
He put his head down. “I am so sorry that all of this happened. I feel responsible for everything.”
Crimson Secrets Page 21
