by Sue MacKay
‘Where else would I be headed?’
Noah realised he was out of his depth here. He wasn’t a parent rushing to his injured daughter. Squeezing Stacey’s hand, he said nothing more, but he didn’t stop thinking about Stacey and the pain she was going through. If only he could take it away—or take it on himself. But all he could do was be there for her, and in a few minutes she’d have her family surrounding her and he’d become redundant.
I don’t want that.
The idea of being left out in the cold already made him shiver. Anastasia had got to him far more than he’d been prepared to admit. Today, seeing her agony, had woken him up, despite his misgivings about why she hadn’t talked about Holly. Bottom line, he could no longer deny she was becoming important to him.
‘Hurry up,’ Stacey yelled at the slowly opening sliding doors at the entrance to the emergency room. She pushed through, still dragging him along, and headed to the reception desk. ‘I’m Stacey Wainwright. My daughter, Holly, has been brought in by ambulance in the last twenty minutes,’ she snapped.
Her hand was trembling in his. He stepped nearer. ‘Steady.’
The woman behind the counter was looking at the screen in front of her. ‘Holly Wainwright, date of birth?’
Noah listened as Stacey gave Holly’s birth date. The door beside them clicked as the lock opened. ‘Go through.’
Holly was two? That meant she’d been conceived after their night together. So there had been someone else, despite her denial. Not much dating, she’d said, but it only took once to get pregnant. His feet were leaden as he walked beside her. She’d become a mother since he’d first known her. That was hard to accept. As if he’d been abstaining throughout those years. There hadn’t been cause to, but neither had he had many dates.
But— But he was being arrogant. She was entitled to live her life however she wanted, and he certainly couldn’t complain. She’d said she was single, so he didn’t have to walk away without seeing if they’d be a match. He just had to get over himself.
‘Dad,’ Stacey shrieked, pulling away from him and racing to the man standing by a cubicle. ‘Where’s Holly?’
The composed nurse he knew had flown out the window. Which warmed him. This was the Anastasia he’d always wanted to believe in. Nothing like his cold uncle and aunt. He’d at first tried to deny Stacey’s loving warmth because that meant letting her in more than she’d already managed to get.
Her father nodded to the bed beyond the curtains, and Stacey disappeared out of sight.
Stepping up to the man, Noah put his hand out. ‘I’m Noah Kennedy. Anastasia was with me when her mother phoned about the accident.’
The guy glanced at his daughter and then looked hard at him, a question in his gaze. The question slipped away, replaced with welcome. Finally he shook Noah’s hand. ‘Yes, we knew who she’d gone to see. Nice to meet you, Noah. I’m Ian Wainwright, and this...’ he turned slightly ‘...is my wife, Stacey’s mum, Judy. And our son, Toby.’
Judy was staring at him, caution couldn’t be more direct on her face. Why were these two so wary about a man their daughter had been out with that morning? Were they overly protective? It wasn’t his place to comment, and he could be totally off track about this family. Anastasia never spoke of them without love. Did she know how lucky she was? Yes, she probably did. He held his hand out to Judy. ‘Pleased to meet you, Mrs Wainwright.’
The woman before him blinked, also looked at her daughter before coming back to him and taking his hand in hers briefly. ‘Hello, Noah. Thank you for getting Stacey here so quickly.’
Noah managed a small laugh. ‘Anyone would have done the same.’ Then he turned to look at Stacey, and his heart stuttered.
She was sprawled on the very edge of the bed, her hand holding her daughter’s and wearing a strained smile. ‘Darling, it’s Mummy. I’m here, baby.’ She was blinking rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay.
The girl was tiny in the large bed, her face abnormally pale with streaks of dried blood from her forehead staining her cheeks, and her eyes were closed, long, dark lashes black on that wan skin. She looked so fragile Noah felt his heart crack. For Stacey, and Holly.
Someone cleared his throat. ‘Excuse me, I’m Dr Robinson. Harry Robinson. I’ve arranged for a CT scan of Holly’s head,’ he said directly to Anastasia. ‘The paramedic said she was in and out of consciousness on the way here, and so far she’s not responding to anything. I’ll explain all the scenarios to you. She’s also broken her arm, though an X-ray will confirm that.’
Judy said, ‘Stacey’s a nurse. She’ll know what’s going on.’
Stacey’s head whipped up. ‘Right now I’m a mother, not a nurse.’ She nodded to Harry Robinson. ‘Talk to Noah. He’s a doctor. He can tell me what I need to know.’ And she went back to gazing at her daughter, imploring silently for her to wake up.
Noah wanted to hug them both, hold them until this nightmare was over and they could all go home. Instead, he straightened his shoulders and faced the other doctor. ‘Harry, tell me what you know.’
They stepped aside and instantly Stacey’s parents moved up to the bed, where Judy began smoothing Stacey’s hair with long strokes that spoke of love.
Noah watched them as he listened to Harry.
‘Certainly concussion. I’m worried there might be swelling on the brain. The non-response has gone on too long.’
‘Given she’s only two, that might work in her favour, keep her still while everything settles down.’ But the idea of brain trauma made him ill. This was Anastasia’s daughter, she didn’t need anything so awful happening to her girl. No parent did. But today, with the woman he was beginning to care too much for, it went beyond his normal horrified reaction for any parent whose child was suffering. He didn’t want Holly injured. He didn’t want Anastasia suffering for her daughter. They didn’t deserve this.
Somehow he managed to listen to all the details Harry gave him. Stacey was right. It was different when the patient was close to you, and though Holly wasn’t his daughter and he’d never met her, he felt a part of this family at the moment.
‘I hope you’re right,’ Harry muttered. ‘As soon as the scan’s done she’ll be admitted to the paediatric ward. Kathryn Cross has been alerted and is on her way in.’
Some relief filtered into the muddle in Noah’s head. ‘I hear she’s good.’
‘Better than good. Her reputation’s stellar.’
‘Glad she’s on Holly’s side then.’ A bed was being rolled along towards them. ‘This for Holly?’
Harry glanced around. ‘Stacey, the porter’s here to take Holly to Radiology. You go with her, and then on to the paediatric ward and a family room.’
The look Stacey gave the poor man said no one would’ve been able to stop her. ‘My family will come, too.’ No question about that either. Then she looked to him, a query in her face.
‘You want me there?’ Noah asked. He still had to tell her what Harry had said regarding Holly’s injuries.
‘Yes.’ She looked away, and back at him, a stricken expression on her face. ‘Sorry. You do whatever suits you. I’m going with Holly. But...’ She swallowed and nodded. ‘I’d like you to stay around with us.’
‘I’ll be waiting outside Radiology.’ He had no idea why this was important to him. He wasn’t even going to start trying to figure it out. Chances were he’d be wrong. Stacey telling Harry to talk to him had made him a part of this family’s problem, their fears, and he wanted to be there with them. Especially for Stacey.
Just like that he felt he belonged, if only for a few hours, and it gave him a deep sense of homecoming. Which was absurd. He didn’t know these people, and one look at Stacey and Holly and deep inside there was a softening of the hopelessness he’d known most of his life, a sense of finally finding what he’d been looking for. From the moment he’d walked up to her on the da
nce floor there’d been a connection he’d never found before, a connection that simply wasn’t going away.
One night had been all it had taken to mark him for ever. She’d been generous in her lovemaking, fun and open, and so damned special it was a constant ache in his heart.
Now she was on the other side of the door into Radiology with her heart breaking as she watched over her little girl fighting to regain consciousness. Anastasia was a mother. It didn’t change how he felt about her. He only wished he’d known sooner.
What difference would that have made?
He would’ve still reacted the same way to seeing her that first morning on the ward. He’d still have smelt citrus perfume, been drawn in by her beautiful face, known how those curves felt on his palms.
Some things couldn’t be changed. Best he accept it and get on with supporting Anastasia as much as she let him.
Had she got on with her life in the way she’d expected when she’d thanked him that night? Had she known she was pregnant and having sex with him, a complete stranger, as a way of accepting her condition and moving forward? Had he been a part of her decision over a man she had been about to commit to? She’d said she was single, and so far no one but her family had turned up here to be with Holly.
A lot of questions with no answers whirled around his mind. If there ever was a time for that. There must be. Despite today’s bombshell, she was becoming more important to him all the time, and they’d spent little of that together. It was that connection working between them. Inexplicable, yet it was there, distracting him from his long-held belief that love like his parents had had was rare, and probably not for him.
‘Why don’t you join Stacey?’ Her father stood in front of him.
Noah got to his feet. ‘I’ll wait a bit, let you all spend time with Holly. It must’ve been a hell of a shock when she was hit by that skateboarder.’ But he wanted to be with Stacey more than anything.
Ian studied him for a long moment. ‘It was. She’s so tiny and defenceless. Stacey adores her and nothing’s going to come between them.’ It sounded like a warning.
‘From the little I know of Anastasia, I’m sure you’re right.’
I know I care about her too much, and that I want to know more, want to further our relationship.
So why was her father looking at him as though summing him up? Wary of any man Anastasia might be interested in? Or just him? They were a tight family, but surely that didn’t mean she was off limits? ‘Make that, I know you’re right. She’s very straightforward in pursuing what she wants. It’s one of the things I like about her.’ Not that he could think of anything he didn’t like.
Ian relaxed. ‘It’s what makes her such a good mother.’
Noah couldn’t say why, but he felt he’d been accepted. Neither did he understand if that was important to him, or to Anastasia. But he’d run with it and see where it led. ‘It’s also why she’s a superb nurse.’
‘Come on.’ Her father headed back into the small room, not looking to see if he followed.
Noah quietly followed and scoped the scene from the doorway. His heart went out to the little girl under the sheet, and to her mother holding her hand and watching over her with a look that said no one, nothing, was going to hurt Holly any more than she already had been. Stacey was tough and soft; loving beyond reason. Noah’s heart swelled, filling with an emotion he was afraid to name.
CHAPTER SIX
STACEY SAT IN a chair at the bedside, her arm through the bars keeping Holly from rolling out if—when she woke up. Because she was going to come round. There was no alternative. Her baby would get through this. They would get through this. What had the radiology technician said? She looked around the room, locked eyes with Noah. ‘Holly’s going to be all right, isn’t she?’
‘Yes.’
He could’ve said a lot of medical stuff, talked in jargon that normally she’d understand but not today without having to put a lot of effort into thinking. Obviously he understood because all he’d said was, ‘Yes.’ She wanted to cry. Wanted, and very nearly did. But she wouldn’t cry in front of Holly, not even when her girl wouldn’t notice. She was the mother. The strong adult in this partnership. Holly was not going to see her wailing and carrying on. So she sniffed, and dug deep for a smile. ‘Thanks for that.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘Noah?’ Unbeknown to Noah, he was the strong person in their relationship, whatever that was. She had to tell him. This was not the time to be avoiding the truth. Wiping her eyes with a handful of tissues, she drew a breath. But not while her family were here.
‘Yes?’ he asked.
She thought about what to say, staring at him, believing in him, and yet worried. He might cry for their daughter and be pleased to know he was Holly’s dad. He might swear and accuse her of fabricating his fatherhood for her gain. There were a hundred things he might do and say. She wasn’t ready. She had to be. ‘Nothing.’
‘You sure?’
Not at all. ‘I need to talk to you.’ She pulled another tissue from the box and blew noisily.
Her mother was watching them from the other side of Holly’s bed. ‘Noah, we’ll give you and Stacey time together, but first can you tell us what the scan means? Apart from Holly is going to be all right. How all right? No lasting damage? Or will there be ongoing problems?’
Her parents hadn’t ignored Noah, had taken to him as she’d hoped. Almost. There was still a seed of doubt that would probably last until he’d been told about Holly and they all knew if he accepted her. ‘Do you mind explaining, Noah?’ Stacey asked, giving him permission to talk about her daughter to her family.
‘Sure.’ He gave a brief outline of what had shown up on the brain scan and the X-ray of Holly’s arm. ‘Basically it all comes down to a concussion that the doctors want to keep an eye on over the next twenty-four hours at least. Her arm’s broken, hence the cast. I can tell you that with very young children it doesn’t take long for a fracture to heal. Holly has been lucky.’
‘Luckier still if it hadn’t happened,’ Stacey’s father said.
Knowing how her father felt about the accident that had caused him to lose a foot, Stacey knew he was aching for Holly. Now that she’d calmed down and felt some relief at what Noah told them, she quietly admonished her father. ‘Dad, you never wanted Toby or me to grow up not living life to the full and getting the odd knock. I feel the same about Holly, though I admit I wasn’t going as far as thinking a run-in with a skateboard would make her tougher.’
Toby grinned. ‘Like me falling out of the tree in the back garden and breaking both my arms when you said I shouldn’t climb it.’ Dad had cried that day, and Toby had survived, no less adventurous afterwards when it came to having fun. ‘Or that time Stacey got up on the roof to get the tennis ball out of the gutter.’ He looked at Noah. ‘Our house is three storeys high.’
‘I’m not surprised. She likes pushing the boundaries.’
Suddenly her mother looked at Stacey, her eyes full of meaning. ‘We’ll go and get something to eat, leave you for a while.’ She was saying spend time alone with Noah and Holly. No pressure. But if she didn’t tell him now, when did she? Was there such a thing as the perfect opportunity? What if something worse had happened to Holly and he hadn’t known? Gulp. Now the threatening tears were too close for comfort.
‘Okay.’
Bending over the bed, her mother kissed Holly on both cheeks. ‘See you later, sweet pea. Get better for Grannie, for all of us.’
The tears were filling Stacey’s eyes and she had to look away, still holding Holly’s hand. They’d been so lucky, but it was hard to accept when her girl wasn’t opening her eyes or giggling and asking for an ice cream. ‘Thanks, Mum.’
‘You need time without all of us hanging around.’ Her meaning was so clear it was a wonder Noah didn’t get the message. Talk to Noah. Tell him th
e truth. Did that mean Mum approved of him? Or just wanted the obstacle gone from the room?
Gulp. ‘Can you get me some basic toiletries from the supermarket? I’m staying overnight.’
‘Already on my list.’ Mum came around to hug her. ‘Tell her we love her the moment she opens her eyes.’ Sniff.
‘You bet.’ Sniff. She hugged back. ‘Love you, too.’ Her family was always there for each other. When Dad had been injured they’d made sure he didn’t get down or let the loss of a foot change him for ever. She’d been the one to harangue him into walking on crutches every day, more times than he thought he should. She’d been the person to get him outside for the first time on his prosthetic foot to visit his friends at the pub for a pint and try to get back to normal. Her parents had always supported her from the moment she’d told them she was pregnant. For her, this was what family meant. Not everyone was so lucky.
Her father gave her a special dad hug that always warmed her, no matter how upset she might be. ‘Take care. Watch over her for all of us.’
They wouldn’t be able to stay away that long. ‘I will.’ Then she turned to Toby and wound her arms around him. ‘Don’t beat yourself up. It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Bossy boots.’ But he gave her a small smile.
‘Someone has to be.’ She smiled, then returned to sit with her girl. ‘Hey, Holly, it’s Mummy. How’re you doing, little one? Can you wake up now?’ It didn’t matter what the doctors said, she needed Holly to open her eyes before she’d feel totally at ease. Her cheeks were colourless, and never had she been so still. Or quiet. Usually hyperactive, this was unreal. She was a right little giggler so to be silent came out of left field. ‘Talk to Mummy, sweetheart.’
‘Here, get this into you.’ Noah held out a paper cup of coffee. ‘Not the best, but it’s something.’ He pulled up the other chair and sat down beside her, another full cup in his hand. ‘How are you doing? Feel any better now that you know there’s no brain damage?’
‘Definitely.’ She soaked in the sight of Holly, barely able to breathe. ‘She’s so little and breakable, I can’t believe how lucky we’ve been. But concussion’s no fun, and she’s only two. I’ve seen other children suffering from it, and thought how awful it was, but this is my daughter. I can’t quite comprehend it, and yet I can. I know the details, the whys and what-ifs. A part of me is terrified that they’ve got it wrong and she’s not going to recover quickly.’
