by Brenda Hiatt
She squeezes my hand and looks up at me, her expression sympathetic now. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Sean. A cousin of my dad’s used to be one of Faxon’s bullochts. He’s in prison on Mars now, and well-deserved. No one should be held responsible for what other members of their families—or fines—do.”
“Yeah, well, my uncle and Lennox are among the worst of those overly-ambitious Royals I mentioned before. Good thing all their plotting backfired and landed them in prison where they belong. Being Royal is probably the only thing that kept them from having their memories erased.”
Kira looks puzzled now. “In prison? Are you sure? I, um, saw them both in Dun Cloch.”
“You saw them?” I ask in surprise. “Just…walking around?”
“Not walking around, exactly, but staying in a regular house. A nice one, too, definitely not a prison. Maybe they’re not supposed to leave it?”
I snort. “Nothing like the jail cell they put Rigel in, then. I should talk to Mum about that. Seems like with that much freedom they could still be dangerous. Was Gordon Nolan running around loose, too?”
“I never saw him. Pretty sure I’d have recognized him from the feeds, since he was one of those Royals vying for Acclamation last spring. M did mention something about him working for—”
“For Uncle Allister and Lennox—at least, M thinks he was behind that attack on her last month, even though the attacker claimed to be a Populist. Guess we’ll never know for sure, since the guy died in prison before they could probe his memory. He might also have sent those Duchas men to kidnap M in Ireland, right before we left for Mars. He’s definitely the one who hacked the security footage on the Quintessence and leaked it—that video of M and Rigel kissing, I mean.”
Remembering how gut-punched I felt when I first saw that video on the ship, my throat tightens for a second—but only for a second, because that memory barely bothers me at all now. What does bother me is the way Kira’s staring up at me, her eyes wide, almost like she’s scared.
“But most people think the Populists were responsible for both of those attacks, don’t they?”
“Yeah.” I’m already holding her hand but now I cover it with my other one, eager to reassure her. “But…maybe you were right about the real Populists not promoting violence. Could be people like Uncle Allister and Lennox and Gordon were just using them as a smokescreen for their own attempts to take down M.” Something else to ask Mum about when I get back.
“Exactly like I suggested before.” But she doesn’t seem nearly as pleased about my giving her that point as I thought she’d be.
We’re on a relatively deserted stretch of Diamond Street, so I pull her into my arms. “Hey, don’t worry. I haven’t mentioned your Populist views to anybody else, and neither has Molly. Nobody thinks you’ve done anything wrong.”
She rests her cheek against my chest, though I can tell she’s still tense. “Thanks, Sean. I just—”
“It’s okay. Really.” I tip up her chin with one finger and lower my lips to hers.
For an instant she stiffens and I’m afraid she’ll pull away, but then she relaxes into the kiss, returning it with equal passion. If anything, the sensations coursing through me are even more intense than what I felt with her last night. More…binding. Which is as scary as it is exhilarating.
She’s smiling again when we finally break apart, to my enormous relief—but then she abruptly sobers again.
“I should get back. And I probably shouldn’t have… But thank you, Sean. You’ve helped. More than you know.”
Startled by her sudden change of mood as well as her phrasing, I frown. “What do you—?”
“G’night, Sean.” Now the smile looks forced. “I’ll…see you at school tomorrow.”
She turns and walks quickly toward her apartment complex without a backward glance.
36
Delay of game
I walk faster and faster, trying to outrun my fear. Fear that Sean will come after me. Fear I’ll give into temptation and go back to him. Fear I’ll lose my resolve to do the right thing.
I should never have let him kiss me tonight. I absolutely never should have kissed him back! But he felt so strong, so safe, so…right. For a moment, I almost believed he could somehow fix the awful mess I’ve gotten myself into. But he can’t.
Less than an hour after I left the arboretum this afternoon, I received the promised message from Allister.
Tomorrow night, 10pm your time. Confirm when you’ve found a secure location.
I didn’t answer right away, I was so rattled by everything M had told me about Allister and Lennox. All through dinner I agonized about what I should say to them—and whether I should take the Sovereign’s word over theirs. When I got Sean’s text, it occurred to me he might know the truth. Whether he confirmed or contradicted M’s accusations, it could help me decide what to do.
Unfortunately, what I just found out is even worse than I imagined. Not only did Allister and Lennox try to murder Rigel, they’ve been using the Populist movement, maybe even actual Populists, to help them get rid of the Sovereign once and for all. Not, as they claimed, so our people can elect a proper leader, but because of their own personal vendettas against her and Rigel. With her out of the way, they probably hope they can return to positions of power.
I writhe inwardly at how incredibly gullible I was to trust them without question, even knowing they were basically under arrest in Dun Cloch. They claimed that was only because the Sovereign had a grudge against them—and I was so eager to believe, I never probed further. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Oh, they were clever. I wonder now if Crevan Erc ever contacted them at all. Could be they just heard from someone in Dun Cloch how gung-ho I was about the Populist movement, since I didn’t exactly keep it a secret. Then they told me exactly what I wanted to hear—that I could be an important part of things after all, that Emileia was an even worse choice for Sovereign than I already thought. And I just lapped it up, promised to do everything I could to help them.
Well, no more. I’m done. I’ll tell them so when they call tomorrow night. When I reach the Diamond View Terrace courtyard, I pause just inside the entrance to send my response.
Secure location found. I’ll be there.
Feeling marginally better now that my decision’s made, I exit out of the “special” screen on my phone and head upstairs to our apartment.
Even though I’m positive I’m doing the right thing, I have a hard time sleeping that night. I keep remembering all that Sean told me—not just what Allister and Lennox tried to do to Rigel, but everything they’re suspected of. Like sending an assassin after the Sovereign last month…and that would-be assassin’s unexpected death.
How will men that ruthless react when I tell them I want out? Do they already have a backup plan to keep me from incriminating them? In the dark watches of the night, it seems not only possible but probable. Maybe if I promise never to mention them to anyone…
“You look awful,” Adina observes over breakfast, eying my face critically.
“Thanks, Sprout. I, ah, didn’t sleep very well. Couldn’t seem to get comfortable.”
“Really? Even after going out to meet you-know-who again after dinner last night?” She’s grinning mischievously now.
Of course, Mum jumps on her comment immediately. “Did you see Sean O’Gara again last night, Kira? You didn’t mention that when you left for your walk.”
“He, ah, texted me just as I was leaving, so we met up and walked together for a little while, that’s all.”
Mum’s eyebrows go up. “Just the two of you this time? His sister wasn’t with him?”
“No, but so what? Sean and I do have three classes together, after all. We’re getting to be friends.”
“That’s wonderful, Kira!” She’s clearly delighted now. “Didn’t I say you were bound to make friends once we moved here? I’m so glad I was right. But goodness, first Molly and now Sean O’Gara! Their family is second
in importance only to the Sovereign herself. I hope they don’t think you’re trying to curry favor now?”
She’s obviously still bothered by that whole asking-M’s-uncle-to-dinner thing.
“I know Sean and Molly don’t. Molly’s really nice and Sean—”
“Gets all goo-goo eyed around you,” Adina finishes, her eyes dancing. “Don’t worry, Mum. From what I’ve seen, Sean’s at least as interested in being friends with Kira as she is with him.”
I glare at my sister and she finally shuts up, though with another knowing grin.
Sean is on the bus again today. He holds my hand all the way to school and I draw welcome comfort and courage from his touch. By the time we get off the bus I’m nearly convinced everything will work out after all.
That certainty lasts until we have to separate in Physics, where Alan does his best to undermine it.
“You can’t possibly believe he’s serious about you,” he whispers as soon as class starts. “He’s just using you to pass the time until another Royal girl comes along. Or maybe to make the Sovereign jealous. I’m sure he’s still hoping to get her back.”
“Stop it, Alan,” I mutter back. “It’s none of your business.”
“Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He doesn’t speak to me for the rest of the period, barely even looks at me, but his words linger. They’re way too similar to what that tiny voice in the back of my mind whispers whenever I’m not with Sean.
As the day goes on I grow more and more distracted, thinking about my looming confrontation with Allister and Lennox. What will they say? What will they do? Will they send an assassin after me to keep me quiet?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sean asks me worriedly over lunch when I more than once fail to respond to something he says.
For a second I’m tempted to confess everything to him—how I agreed to help Lennox and his uncle and what I plan to do tonight. Maybe, given his parents’ influence, there’ll be some way to keep them from— No. I’d have to tell him why I started being friendly with him in the first place and he’d never trust me again. Why should he? Why should any of them?
“I’m fine,” I lie. “Sorry. I guess I just have a lot on my mind.”
Time seems to speed up after that. Next thing I know, I’m out at NuAgra helping my mum, who also notices my distraction.
“No, Kira, the control group goes in this bed. Honestly, I’m starting to think Adina was right this morning about you and Sean O’Gara. Your head seems to be in the clouds today.”
I don’t have much appetite at dinner, I’m so nervous by now. I keep rehearsing what I plan to say to Allister and Lennox, trying out different phrasings, hoping if I can just explain my feelings well enough they’ll let me off the hook. Every version I come up with sounds worse in my head than the one before.
I’ve just finished helping Adina with the dishes when I get a text. Half-fearful, half-hopeful, I check my phone. Maybe they’re postponing tonight’s meeting, maybe even canceling it…
The text is from Sean.
Want to take another walk? Get an earlier start so we’ll have more time?
I’m even more tempted than before to let him help me solve my problem. I’ve already started texting him back that I can meet him right now when I realize if word about what I’ve been doing gets out, it could reflect badly on him, too. It’s common knowledge at school we’ve been spending time together.
Quickly, I erase my unsent text and type a different one.
Sorry, can’t tonight. Too much homework.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stuff my phone back in my pocket and glance at the clock. Barely two hours to wait…
37
Box out
Sean
I frown at Kira’s text, my vague worries from last night and today sharpening into real concern. Something is definitely wrong, even if she insisted there wasn’t every time I asked.
Yesterday everything seemed fine between us. Better than fine. I half expected her to back off after Tuesday night. Our kissing—our connection—was so intense. But she’d let me hold her hand between classes, sat with me at lunch, then agreed to another walk last night… Which was when I first sensed something had changed.
Because of her talk with M? Could M have warned her away from me? It didn’t seem like something she’d do, but if she was worried I could get hurt again… Maybe just a hint, and Kira took it as an order from the Sovereign?
Or maybe it was something Alan said to her? I noticed him whispering to her in Physics this morning, probably saying the same stuff he said to me the day before. Pointing out what different fines we are, insisting I’m just toying with her… But Kira definitely acted off before that, during our walk last night.
I shake my head, trying to jar my thoughts into clarity. It doesn’t help.
“Mum, Dad, I’m going for a walk,” I announce, even though Kira begged off. Walking sometimes helps me sort things out. I took lots of solitary walks when I was so frustrated over M, then later, when I was trying to get her out of my system. That eventually worked…
Molly comes bouncing into the front hall. “With Kira?” she whispers, eyes gleaming conspiratorially.
“Nope, just me this time. Feel free to tell Mum that if she asks. I haven’t shot hoops in a while and need the exercise.”
I’m out the door before she can reply. Like last night and the night before, I head toward Diamond Street but this time I take my first left onto Garnet instead of continuing on toward the arboretum…and Kira’s apartment.
I used to walk this way all the time, past M’s house. Occasionally I’d even stand out on the street staring up at her window, imagining stuff I had no business imagining. Feeling my breath catch if her shadow passed by it while I was watching. Believing that was what love felt like.
Now I know how wrong I was. What I felt for M was some combination of youthful fantasy, possessiveness, and a righteous conviction that we were destined to be together, occasionally spiked with simple lust.
What I feel for Kira goes way, way deeper than that. I know it shouldn’t be possible. I only met her two weeks ago. I kissed her for the first time just forty-eight hours ago. But I know, with bone-deep certainty, that it’s true. I’m totally, irrevocably in love with her.
If she’s already having second thoughts because she doesn’t feel the same way, I’m honestly not sure what I’ll do.
I pass M’s house without so much as a glance and keep walking. And thinking.
38
Free agent
Allister and Lennox aren’t supposed to call until ten, but by nine-thirty I’m too nervous to sit still.
“I’m going for another walk,” I tell my parents. They’re watching some Duchas television show while my sister finishes her homework, the puppy curled in her lap.
“So late?” Mum asks in surprise. “On a school night?”
“I won’t go far. Just…need some fresh air.”
Adina looks up. “Ooh, are you meeting—?”
“Maybe.” If Mum thinks I’m with Sean, she’ll be less likely to worry if I’m gone a while.
As I expect, she brightens at once. “Have fun, dear, but try not to be too late.”
I leave the complex through the back entrance and cross Ruby Street toward the annex they’re building with more apartments. It’s nearly finished already—not surprising since our people are helping with the construction to create more Echtran housing. No workers are here at this hour, of course, which is why I chose this location for tonight’s conversation.
The annex is laid out similarly to the existing complex, with several two-story apartment buildings arranged around a central courtyard. After scoping the whole place out, I decide a stairway facing the courtyard, screened on all sides from nearby roads and sidewalks, will be my best place to sit. For ten minutes I pace back and forth, taking deep breaths to calm my nerves. Then my phone vibrates in my pocket.
My heart leap
ing into my throat again, I fumblingly pull it out, then unlock it with the retinal scan as I move to the middle stairway. “Hello?”
To my surprise, Allister’s face appears on my screen. Our past conversations have either been texts or voice only. “You are alone and unlikely to be interrupted?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
He glances off to the side, then nods. “Excellent. If you’ll touch the holo control on the lower left-hand side of your screen, we can begin.”
That’s a button I haven’t used yet. As soon as I touch it, a thin beam of light emanates from my phone and scans me from head to toe, then surrounds my face. Suddenly, I’m back in the main room of the house in Dun Cloch where I previously met with Allister and Lennox—or that’s how it seems. Both men are sitting opposite me on the couch and the woman, Enid, in a straight-backed chair behind them.
“How…how did you do that?” I gasp.
“We equipped your phone with standard holo capability but Enid has only recently enabled it to work on our end,” Allister explains, gesturing at an omni on a low table in front of them. “I’m surprised you’ve not experienced the technology, as it’s been in use for years.”
By Royals, maybe, I think but don’t say. I now recall Sean mentioning that Echtran Council members who don’t live in Jewel often attend meetings this way. Cautiously, I reach down with one hand to touch the seat beneath me. I’m slightly reassured to feel concrete and not upholstery, proving I haven’t really gone anywhere.
“Now you’re here, let’s get started,” Lennox says briskly. “Allister tells me you’re having second thoughts about the advisability of removing the Sovereign from power?”
“Er…I just said it might be a good idea to keep her around in case the Grentl come back.”
