“Erm, well yes. I don’t really know what you mean… but… what choice do I have?”
“Well, you could go to the police. I could take you. I should do that really; I should hand you over and sort it all out officially, but right now I don’t know who to trust and I’m not very happy to put myself in a position where I’m not in charge.”
“But if we go to your place then what?”
“Good question. I just want to get us safe. Once I have done that I can try and find out who to trust and what the situation is regarding the gang.”
“Pete?”
“Yes.”
“Have you got the diamonds and the memory stick?”
“Yes. I have. The diamonds are not that important but the memory stick is priceless. The information on there could lead to the arrest of a huge gang of people traffickers. It’s taken me a couple of years to get it. I have to be very careful with it. Because of the problems with the unit I can’t hand it over; I have to handle it myself. It’s complicated and really, though it seems hard to say this, it doesn’t actually concern you. Not that side of it; what has happened since the road accident is another issue and we have to sort that out as well.”
“Where is the body, the one from the cliffs?”
“It’s gone. It’s in the ocean.” Pauline’s hand flew to her mouth. “That is something else that we have to deal with. You could just walk away from it Pauline. I know you did what you did because you were in danger. You could just take back your life and carry on.”
She shook her head. “How can I do that? How can I live with that? Is it right that I should?”
“Well, what are your other options? The police in Cornwall searched, they didn’t find a body.”
“But we ran away. Won’t they think that was odd?”
“I’ve been in touch. I had to make sure they kept an eye on your friends at the farm. I told them you were helping us and they were only too happy to wash their hands of it all. Right now the file there is closed, marked for no further action. You can just walk away from it.
“The trouble is the people who came to the house are aware of you. They think that you have the memory stick. So until I sort that out I can’t promise you that you are safe. Will you trust me for just a while longer? Will you come with me and let me try to make it all right.”
“Yes.”
Chapter 44
By the time they pulled off the motorway onto minor roads the day was fading. Yellow lights from the windows of roadside houses pooled on pavements and verges and commuter vehicles mustered on overcrowded drives. The world settled into evening.
Pauline didn’t recognise the area. They drove though a small town. A carbon copy of so many others. The main road carving the centre into north to south was lined with ubiquitous retail outlets and fast food restaurants: it was Everywhere and Nowhere.
Out at the other side of the built up areas gentle hills rose away on either side. The illumination from an occasional grand home or farmhouse shone out, oases in the deepening darkness. It was peaceful and calm in the warm car with Pete beside her and Pauline felt that if they drove on forever in this half dream state she would have been happy to accept the endless journey as her fate.
After another hour, when they were far out in the country, he turned off the road and bumbled down a rutted track. Trees lined either side of the narrow lane with the occasional gateway the only evidence of intermittent human activity. He pulled into one of the openings, turned off the lights. The engine was the only sound gently thrumming into the stillness of a late summer night.
“Is this where we’re staying?”
“No, no of course not. I just want to make sure we’re on our own.” The flash of his grin in the dark interior soothed her nerves. This was what he did; he was calm, in charge and everything was under control. Pauline settled back into the seat and closed her eyes. She felt safe.
When Pete was happy that no-one had followed they drew back out and travelled the last mile down the country road. He climbed from the car and pushed open a wooden gate.
“Pass me that torch will you.” Pauline passed him the heavy flashlight from the parcel shelf and he left her in the darkness. As he made his way down the short drive the cone of light swung back and forth through the tiny garden towards the darker shadow of a building hunkered down amongst the trees.
She could see him in the distance as he walked down a side passage. Then for a while she was in almost total darkness as he checked around the back emerging at the other side and at last joining her back in the car.
“Okay. It looks good. Welcome to my place.” He smiled at her across the narrow space and her heart flipped and she acknowledged at last what she already knew deep inside. She was attracted to him, this man about whom she knew nothing and who she had met in the most horrible of circumstances. She was drawn to him and his nearness in the darkness excited her.
The thought of going into a strange house with him now, alone, caused a thrill that had been, until now, a memory of other days.
He took the car around the back of the building and parked it hidden among overgrown bushes. The path to the little door was gravel winding between what was probably a rough lawn. Here and there a shrub hunched, darker grey than the ambient dimness, but the scent was of wildness rather than roses. It was wonderful.
The great key he pulled from his pocket slid smoothly into the lock and in moments they stepped onto the flagged floor of a large space. Pauline waited quietly in the doorway as Pete moved with the ease of long familiarity into the house. The click of a lighter and flicker of a tiny flame grew into a golden glow as he lit the wick of an old hurricane lamp which sat on a heavy wooden table.
“Don’t panic,” he muttered. “We have electric, but I have to turn it all on and anyway I kinda like this in the kitchen. Come in, sit down.”
She walked across the hard stone. “I like the lantern as well. But I don’t need to sit down Pete. It’s nice to stretch my legs.” She took another step towards him. He held his ground. She lifted a hand and placed it gently, questioningly on his upper arm. His head bent towards her, just a little. She lifted her face to his and as their lips met she felt as though she had reached her safe haven. His arms wrapped around her, firm and strong and comforting and as their bodies touched chest and hips the warmth grew.
It felt right and good and honest and she knew she would be his, if he wanted it.
Chapter 45
“I can’t. We shouldn’t. Pauline, I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I know.” She smiled at him and his lips lifted as he pulled back his head and looked down at her.
“It’s wrong in so many ways.”
“I know.” She lifted a hand to his face and laid it across his cheek. Her head tipped to one side and her eyes searched his, seeking the truth of what he wanted.
For a while they stood arms around each other in the slightly damp kitchen. Outside an owl called and in the quiet house the little lantern hissed and fizzed.
“Pauline…” His voice was hoarse and doubt flashed across his face and still she didn’t move but simply stood in the shelter of his arm, waiting. “Are you sure?” He read her stillness for what it was. She nodded.
“I haven’t been here for a while. The beds might need airing.” The everyday tone of the comment drew a giggle from her.
“Right.” She smiled and took his hand.
He lifted the lantern and they walked into the gloom of the hallway. Stepping in front he drew her after him, down the narrow space and up the stairs.
The landing was a small square. In the flickering light she saw a bathroom, the door ajar and the porcelain gleaming whitely in the gloom. There were three other rooms, he pushed the door of the nearest.
He turned to her again. “Okay?”
She slipped in front of him and stepped inside the space. The bed was made up. The curtains were open and the glow of moonlight glinted on a mirror and shone on polished wood. I
t was chilly, with the feel of a room just wakening from the torpor of neglect and emptiness.
She walked to the bed and threw back the covers running a hand over the sheet. “It’s fine. Cold, but not damp.”
He was close behind her now and his arms snaked around her waist drawing her back against him. “Are you sure about this?”
His concern threw her. She had never experienced such consideration before. For a moment she wondered if he was trying to draw away kindly, back off without hurting her. She twisted around until she could look him in the eye. There was nothing there but kindness.
“I like you Pete. I’m happy here in this moment.” He nodded.
His fingers found the buttons on her blouse. As he twisted the tiny pieces of plastic she closed her eyes to savour the illicit pleasure that had come so unexpectedly. As he pulled the fabric from her shoulders she felt a frisson of fear. What would he think of her? She was no longer a girl. She had stayed slim, kept herself fit, but her breasts and her stomach were those of a forty-year old. He lowered his head and his lips played across her shoulders. She felt the flutter of his kisses on her neck and then her breath was taken as he raised a hand to her breast, to hold and to gently tease.
She pulled at his shirt and the belt of his jeans. When they were unfastened and in a heap at his feet he stepped out of them and with a grin he pulled of his socks.
Pauline slipped out of her trousers and climbed onto the bed dragging the chilly duvet over her. He pulled it aside to snuggle underneath and then wrapped her to him and held her in his warm arms. Their legs twined and their breath mingled and she found with him a kindness, a generosity and a pleasure that she had never known before.
Chapter 46
Unfamiliar greys and shadows disoriented her and the bulk of a body in the bed was strange and unsettling in her half-waking state. Pauline lay still and quiet until dream and reality divided and she remembered it all. Where and who and why. Pete murmured and turning, drew her into the warmth of his sleeping body. As she curled into him tears came to her eyes for she knew that this could not be and it broke her heart to have what she couldn’t hold.
She didn’t sleep again. The curtains were open and dawn unveiled a new day and the rustle of leaves and patter of rain on the window spoke of dying summer. She pressed closer to the man beside her and revelled in the comfort and what she knew was to be a fleeting happiness.
Pete woke and smiled across the rumpled pillows and kissed her face and neck and they made love slowly. His hands caressed the rounds and hollows of her body. As they stroked and teased and nibbled she lost herself in his gentleness and generosity and finally in the urgency of their mutual need. She had never known it could be like this…
Later she slid from the bed and dragged on Pete’s discarded T-Shirt. She pulled it down to cover her behind and then laughed as he raised his eyebrows at the coyness after their recent familiarity. She felt sated and soothed by their intimacy and more than that he had made her feel whole, and even more yet she felt beautiful and womanly.
She didn’t want to spoil the moment but knew life would go on and they must leave this room and this moment.
“Can I have a shower?”
“Did I do the electric thing last night?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“Right. Give me a minute and I’ll sort it. God I’m starving.”
His legs swung from the bed and he leaned to retrieve his boxers from the tangle of clothes on the floor. She watched and felt emotion flood her body. She could love this man.
His voice came from downstairs in the hallway. “Okay Pauline, the heat’s on. I’m going to fish in the freezer and get breakfast underway.”
“Thanks.” The bathroom was spotless and it was obvious that, though the house had been unlived in, someone kept it clean. The airing cupboard held a pile of towels and there was shampoo. She paused at the sight of the bottle on the glass shelf. Shampoo.
It wasn’t her business. She picked up the bottle and realised with a tiny thud of disappointment that it was open and partly used. So, someone else came here and used the bathroom and cleaned and polished. It wasn’t her business.
The smell of bacon and coffee made her mouth water. With a hint of distaste she pulled on yesterday’s underwear and blouse. Her fingers hovered over the handle of a drawer but in the end it was too much of an invasion of privacy to pull it forward. In truth she didn’t want to see. If there was underwear in there, women’s underwear, she couldn’t borrow it anyway and the bright, loving morning would be besmirched. Shampoo? Well shampoo could just be a cheap shower gel or perhaps he sometimes let his hair grow and so would need it, but underwear, women’s clothes… There would be no denying the meaning of those.
The kitchen was bright and the pine table held plates of bacon sandwiches. Coffee dripped into a pitcher on the machine beside the sink. It was homely and cosy. Pauline was starving, because of course they had eaten very little yesterday. She fell on the food with an enthusiasm that brought a smile to Pete’s face.
“How come you have all this?”
“I keep bread, bacon and so on in the freezer. I never know when I’m going to come here and so I try to keep it stocked.”
“Is this your house then? Your own… not a police house or something?”
“Yes, this is mine. I bought it a few years ago. I needed to know that no matter what, I had a place that was wholly mine and was safe. I needed a home.”
“It’s lovely.”
“Thanks. I have someone come in to keep an eye on things. Marie, from the farm back the way we came in. She thinks I work abroad. It’s safer for her that way.”
“It’s dangerous isn’t it? Your job, what you do?”
“Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s boring and tedious.”
“How long have you been doing it?”
He leaned across the space between them and laid his hand on hers. “Pauline. I think it’s best, for now at least, if you don’t know too much about what’s going on. Too much about me.”
There it was, the barrier. His life, the things that he did. His past and his future; she wasn’t to be a real part of any of it and now the sandwich stuck in her throat as her heart filled with sadness and reality hit her in the gut.
Chapter 47
He had gone. “Don’t worry, you’re safe here. Don’t go out though. It’s best if you stay in for now.”
With Pete’s final word of warning ringing in her ears she had stood by the window and watched as he drove back down the little lane.
Before he left he had offered to pick up some essentials while he was out. “I’ll be a couple of hours but on the way back I can go to town.” It had been a strange conversation and the memory brought a grin to her face. He stood before her indicating with a sweep of his hand down the length of her body. “What erm, size are you? You know… for underwear and… well I don’t really know what you’d buy.”
“I take size twelve knickers, anything will do, not a thong though.”
“Knickers, right.” He lowered his eyes to hide the laughter, but she saw his shoulders quake and rescued him with a giggle.
“Don’t worry about a bra, I can manage if you don’t mind me washing it through tonight.”
“Shall I look for a t-shirt?”
“Oh would you? Yes, please. A t-shirt and something to sleep in would be great. The knickers, and perhaps some conditioner. My hair feels like straw after the beach.”
“You look fine to me.” He had grinned widely at her then and held out a hand. She walked to him and leaned into his hug. While her face was buried in his chest he had spoken quietly. “Are you okay with what happened? I mean, you know, you don’t regret it?”
“No, no I don’t. It was lovely. I like you a lot Pete.” She lifted her eyes and a glimpse of something in his expression had stopped her there. She knew. Deep down she knew that there was no future for them. He knew it too didn’t he? Well, didn’t he?
&n
bsp; There wasn’t was there?
After he had gone she cleaned the kitchen counters and tidied the breakfast things away. Another cup of coffee was just a way to pass the time and in the end half of it was poured down the drain.
For a while she sat and looked through the magazines she found on the coffee table in the living room. They didn’t reveal anything about him. They were out of date news magazines and one or two that looked as though they might have been picked up in airports. There was nothing in them to hold her interest.
The book cases were well stocked and she pulled down a novel. She curled up on the sofa and tried to lose herself in the story but even that couldn’t hold her attention. She was on edge and fidgety.
The sun teased her through the narrow window, birds called and white puffs floated across the clean blue sky. It was too nice a day to be inside.
She walked back into the kitchen and stood at the open door. There was no-one around. Cows in a distant field lowed now and again. The lazy smoke from a fire somewhere to the north smudged the horizon. She stepped into the patch of back garden. Sparrows and dunnocks hopped around the base of a hawthorn hedge. Tufty grass covered most of the space with just one small apple tree in the corner. A couple of pots held geraniums. Marie from the farm had obviously kept an eye on the bright little plants which flanked a wooden bench. It tempted her, the old wood worn to comfort.
Two steps from the house, that wasn’t out was it, surely? She crossed the narrow flagstones and lowered herself to the seat. The sun warmed her face and painted bright colours on the back of her closed lids as she gave herself to the peace. There was time enough for worry and maybe even regret later. At this moment she would just be…
Her shoulders slumped as drowsiness fell like a silk curtain and her mind began to drift. She should pull back, get up and move around, but the harmony had her, the air and the music of the earth was carrying her away and it was just too hard to come back. Maybe just another few minutes and then she would force herself awake.
Leaving George Page 14
