by Amy Ruttan
“Every minute counts. If you had been quicker...” She regretted the words as soon as they’d slipped out of her mouth.
His eyes narrowed. “If my leg hadn’t slowed us down? Fine—blame me. But nothing could’ve saved Gerald. And probably not your father either, given the fact it sounds like he died of a crush injury as well.”
Ruby slapped him. “Don’t you dare talk about my father! You don’t know anything about it. You don’t know anything about me!”
Aran touched his face. “You’re right. I don’t. But this marriage isn’t real and soon enough we can go our separate ways.”
He turned around and left her standing in the rain, weeping.
Weeping for her father, weeping for the patients she couldn’t save, weeping for all she’d given to the north and how she could never save her father’s life no matter how much of her life she gave.
Her father was never coming back and she was alone.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE FLIGHT BACK to Anchorage the next day was solemn and quiet. Lindsey had decided to fly with Ruby, and Aran had stayed behind to help with John, who was still in a lot of pain from his dislocated shoulder. He also wanted to help Dr. Franklin load up his plane.
Aran had mentioned to her that he thought that John might need surgery. After he had spent the night helping the road crew dig out Gerald’s body and bring him back to town.
Lindsey slept on the way back, and Ruby couldn’t blame her. Not really. She wished she could just sleep away the last couple of days.
They landed in Anchorage and it was only thirty minutes after that when Dr. Franklin landed his plane. An ambulance was waiting to take John to the hospital.
Aran barely looked at her.
She’d hurt him.
But he’d hurt her too.
They’d hurt each other.
It was only supposed to be a marriage of convenience—it wasn’t supposed to form itself into anything else. But she had developed feelings for him. She had thought it was just attraction, but she admired him. She admired his strength, his tenacity, his tenderness.
She wanted so much more than just a fake marriage with him. They’d risked everything and for what? A Green Card? It seemed pointless.
She might want him to be more than just a convenient husband but she had ruined that now, and she knew that he didn’t want to stay in the north. He didn’t want to be really married to her, and she wasn’t going to hold him back.
The right thing to do was to let him go. He had done her a huge favor, but that was all it was. All it could ever be.
This whole time she’d been trying to protect her heart from getting hurt, and instead she’d set herself up for pain.
Her phone buzzed and it was Jessica. Agent Bolton was ready for their final interviews and was on his way to the hospital.
Ruby sighed.
Aran came over to her. “Did you get my mom’s message?”
“Yes.”
“Ready to get this over with?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m ready for this to end.”
A strange expression crossed his face. “Right.”
They rode back to the hospital in silence, and when they got there went straight up to the boardroom and sat next to each other, waiting for Agent Bolton to arrive.
“Ruby...”
“You don’t have to say anything, Aran. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” he said gently.
The door opened and Agent Bolton stepped in. He smiled—and then frowned when he saw them. “Is everything okay, Doctors?”
“We lost a patient last night,” Ruby muttered. “It was a bit difficult. He was a well-liked member of the Dutch Harbor community.”
“It’s affecting my wife particularly hard, Agent Bolton, because her father died in a similar circumstance when she was twelve.” Aran glanced over at her. “That’s why she’s here, doing what she does. She doesn’t want anyone to lose a loved one because there wasn’t medical help when it was needed.”
Ruby felt tears stinging her eyes as he spoke. She wiped them away.
“But even though I had everything there to save that man’s life, I couldn’t,” she whispered. “Aran has been trying to teach me that there are some cases beyond our control, and that’s sort of the curse of medicine. When it’s beyond our control to save a life.”
“I’m afraid the storm also triggered my post-traumatic stress disorder and brought back a lot of memories from the front.”
Ruby knew Aran was saying these words to her, not Agent Bolton.
“So it’s been a bit of a hard night for both of us.”
“I can see that,” Agent Bolton said gently. “And I can see that you two work very closely together. So I’m pleased to inform you, Dr. Cloutier that the United States Citizen and Immigration Services has granted you your Green Card.”
Agent Bolton pulled out an envelope and slid it across the table to her.
“Congratulations, Dr. Cloutier. We’re pleased to accept you as a citizen.”
Ruby stared at the envelope in disbelief. She could go home. She could visit her mom and her brothers. She could visit her papa’s grave. It was all she’d ever wanted...but somehow it wasn’t everything.
It would mean the end of her marriage to Aran.
She looked over at Aran, who was staring at his hands, and wished that she had a little bit longer to get to know him. She wished she hadn’t been so stubborn.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you, Agent Bolton.”
“You’re welcome.”
Agent Bolton stood up and left the boardroom. The silence in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ruby just stared at the envelope in disbelief.
“How long do we wait?” Aran asked.
“For what?” Ruby asked.
“You know for what,” he said.
“A few months...no longer than that,” she whispered.
Aran nodded. “I’m glad you got what you wanted.”
“Thank you.”
But even though she’d got what she wanted, her priorities had changed. She wanted Aran. She wanted what her parents had had.
Yesterday Gerald had died up on that roadside and, yes, it had crushed his family—but at least he’d had a family. He’d had someone to love him.
It had been the same with her parents. Her father’s death had devastated Ruby’s mother, but they’d had love. They’d shared love. They hadn’t been lonely.
And this life that she had created, trying to protect her heart, had actually done more damage than good. She was alone and there would be no one to cry over her if she died. There was no one to share her life with.
She didn’t want to live her life like that. She didn’t want to live her life in fear any longer. She wanted Aran in her life and she wanted him as more than a convenient husband. She wanted him as a real husband.
“Aran...” She trailed off.
“A few months is good,” he said quickly. “I want to return to San Diego.”
“Oh,” she whispered. “Right.”
Her heart might have changed its mind about taking a chance on love, but she was a fool to think that Aran had. There had been no change of heart for him on that roadside. As far as he was concerned his job was done. She had her Green Card and that meant he was free.
“I think... I think I’m going to head for home.” Ruby walked past him and didn’t offer him a ride. She didn’t think that he would come with her anyways. “I’m sure Sam is ready to get rid of Chinook.”
Aran gave her a half-smile but wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Right. I’ll see you later?”
“Right.”
Ruby left the board room as quickly as she could, clutching the Green Card. This was what she’d signed up for in the beginning. Sh
e’d always known there was a time limit to this marriage.
She just hadn’t expected that she would fall in love with her fake husband.
She hadn’t thought that she would fall in love at all.
* * *
Stop her!
That was what Aran’s mind was screaming as he watched her leave the room, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to be hurt by her rejection. That was why he didn’t get involved in relationships. This was supposed to be just a simple marriage of convenience and it had been for so long, when they were apart, but now, after spending a short time with her, he was a lost man.
He’d known that the moment he’d seen her again. The moment she’d stood up to his mother, saying that she didn’t want him on her team.
Ruby’s words had hurt him at first, but after he’d calmed down he’d realized they were just words. He might have post-traumatic stress disorder from the IED explosion that had destroyed his career in the Army, but he wasn’t the only one who was living with unresolved trauma.
Ruby had faced her demons last night when Gerald had died.
It hadn’t just been about Gerald dying; she had been reliving what had happened to her father. She had given her whole life to stop others from dying like her father had—so much so that she’d never really dealt with the pain of losing him.
She’d avoided facing the reality of what had happened by trying not to let it happen again. But it wasn’t lack of medical services that was the reason her father had died. It was the fact that his injuries hadn’t been as simple as she’d thought as a child. They’d probably been just as catastrophic as Gerald’s.
So he didn’t hate her for lashing out at him. He hated himself for letting her into his heart, because now it was over. She had what she wanted. She didn’t need him anymore.
Was that really accurate?
Aran had been so afraid of repeating what had happened to his parents. Maybe he’d really never accepted their divorce? The fact that his father hadn’t been able to stay living in the north because his career was important, just as his mother’s career was important to her.
His own career in the Army was over. He had accepted his discharge. So why was he so adamant about leaving Alaska and going back south? He had a couple of half-brothers and a half-sister there, but he could always visit them. What else did he have down there?
Nothing.
Here he had the chance of something more, if he could just reach out and take it. He wanted to be with Ruby. He cared for her...he was falling in love with her. And it wasn’t just lust—he’d gotten to know her.
If it didn’t work out, then it didn’t work out. But he would never know unless he actually tried. If she didn’t love him, if she didn’t want anything more from him, he would move on with his life—but he had to try. If he didn’t he’d always wonder if he’d let go his one and only chance to be happy. His one chance to shake away the loneliness he felt.
Aran got up and ran after her as best he could with his leg aching.
“Ruby!”
Ruby turned around and he could see the tears in her eyes.
“Aran...?”
“Wait for me.”
“What?” she asked.
He caught up with her and touched her face. “I love you.”
Her dark eyes widened and welled with tears. “What?”
“I know. I know... But I’ve fallen in love with you. I know I told you that I couldn’t make you any promises, and I still don’t know...” He was rambling. He ran his hands through his hair. “I love you and I want to make this work.”
“What about going back south? What about...?”
“I don’t care.”
“You told me it didn’t work for your parents,” she whispered. “How can it work for us?”
“Because I don’t have anything in the south. My career is up here. I want to be here for you. I don’t want to end this, Ruby. I want a chance to make things right.”
Tears slid down her cheek. “I want to make this work too.”
“You do?” he asked in disbelief.
“I love you as well. I was so afraid of falling in love because I was so afraid of what might happen to me if I lost the love of my life. I saw the way my mother mourned and I swore that I would never feel that way. But you made me realize that a life without love is not worth living. A marriage of convenience is not a marriage that I want to have. I want a real marriage. I want to love and I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m so tired of being alone. I didn’t realize how alone I was until I met you.”
She reached out and touched his cheek.
“I love you, Aran.”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her urgently. In that kiss he tried to convey all the emotions she’d brought out in him. How she had made him feel again. How she had brought him back to life. How she had saved his life.
“You’ve saved my life, Ruby Cloutier. You have saved me,” he whispered.
She sobbed against his neck. “No. No, I didn’t save you. You saved me.”
They kissed again. Her arms moved around him and he never wanted to let her go. He was terrified about what the future held, but somehow the future that had looked so bleak when he had been discharged from the Army was looking brighter.
He hadn’t realized how much of a fog he’d been living in until he’d seen her again. She had been the light waiting for him at the end of a very dark tunnel—just as he had been the light for her. They were guiding each other through the fog, showing each other the way home.
Jessica came down the hall. She was wringing her hands, but stopped when she saw them together.
“She got it?” Jessica asked.
Aran nodded and grinned down at Ruby. “She did.”
Jessica let out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad.”
“And there’s something else too, Mom,” Aran said.
“What?” Jessica asked.
“We’ve decided to stay together and give this marriage a shot.”
Jessica’s eyes welled with tears and she smiled. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
“Are you?” Aran asked.
Jessica nodded. “I messed up so bad with your father. I’ve always regretted that... And I’ve seen the way you two work together here and on the team. I’m so happy.”
“Mom, it wasn’t just you. It was Dad too.” Aran stepped closer to his mother. “I’m sorry that I’ve blamed you all these years.”
Jessica broke down in tears and he embraced her.
“I love you, Mom,” Aran whispered. “I’m sorry for all the years that I didn’t tell you that.”
Tears slid down Jessica’s face. “I love you too.”
Ruby came forward and Jessica and Aran held onto her too.
Aran knew he had everything he could ever want in that moment. He’d been given a second chance. A way to make amends. And there was no way he was going to mess this up.
This time their marriage would be more than just a convenience. It would be a privilege.
His life started here—with Ruby.
EPILOGUE
One year later, north shore,
Great Slave Lake
RUBY GAZED UP into her husband’s eyes as they stood on the north shore of Great Slave Lake. It was a bright sunny day, although there was a bit of a haze in the sky from some of the faraway forest fires that weren’t uncommon for August in the Northwest Territories.
Aran was holding her hand as one of the elders from her village blessed their union. She was wearing a white gown, but it was a pretty simple gown, and it didn’t hide the fact that there was a slight swell to her belly—she was five months pregnant.
Aran winked at her and she laughed softly.
Behind them sat the closest of their friends and family.
Her mother was crying softly
and her brother sat next to her. Jessica sat next to Ruby’s mother, and Aran’s stepmother had flown up from San Diego. Lacey, Jack and their little girl Emily had flown down from Whitehead.
Mitchell had sent a card, as had Sam, who had promised to watch Chinook while Ruby and Aran enjoyed their honeymoon at a small fishing lodge up in Great Bear Lake for the next few days. Ruby was looking forward to relaxing there.
And beyond those few special guests who had come to witness their wedding vow renewal was a small table that held two precious photos. One of her papa and one of Aran’s father.
It was everything she’d ever wanted. Because she’d never thought that when she’d married Aran six years ago she would one day be standing here, so close to home, pregnant and vowing to love him for real.
And she did love him.
She loved him with all her heart.
“And, in a renewal of your vows, do you, Aran, take Ruby to be your wife?”
“I do,” Aran said, and slipped the ring he’d bought her on her finger.
“Ruby...”
The elder turned to her and spoke to her in her father’s traditional language of Chipewyan. She’d had to relearn it because she’d never spoken it again after her father died, and relearning the language that had been lost to her had been like a rebirth.
It had righted a wrong.
“I do,” Ruby answered, in both Chipewyan and English. She slipped the ring she had gotten for Aran on his finger.
“Then I am proud to announce the renewal of your vows, Aran and Ruby. May your lives be truly blessed.”
Aran cupped her face and kissed her gently. Then he reached down and touched her belly. “My life is already blessed. I love you, Ruby.”
“I love you too, Aran.”
And she kissed him again. Surrounded by love, filled with love, and hoping for the brightest future possible. Even if that future was uncertain she was willing to face it—because she was no longer alone.
* * *
If you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Amy Ruttan
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