by C. D. Gorri
Leaning into my mates, I let the offense go. Alec was clearly struggling a lot more than I was.
“No idea why she’s bonded with the other two?” Xavier asked Sharona. His anger had subsided, but he was deadly serious.
She shook her head. “None at all. I’ve never even heard of it. You four have a bond, and it’s very tight and strong, but it’s not a mate bond. You’ve bonded without that piece of it. You all chose of your own free will. This is different.” She beamed. “It’s a puzzle I’ll enjoy sorting, but later, when we’ve made it through all of this.” Her cane waved a little to indicate the entire situation.
Xavier’s frown deepened, which looked even more serious in contrast to Sharona’s response. “I want you to see how we can get around this. Bond or not, the marriages we’ve planned, negotiated, and worked for will go forward.”
“That’s not going to work—” Sharona started.
“Do not disobey me!” The alpha's command rolled over everyone in the room, and even I, the non-shifter, felt it. It made me want to put my head down and do as I was told.
Sharona inclined her head. “I’ll see if there are ways to end a bond. There’s a problem, however.”
“It seems to be the day for it.” Xavier was grim.
“I don’t know that your sons wish to end the bond.” She folded her hands on top of her cane and gazed at him with a neutral expression.
“I don’t care what they want. We’ve worked too hard on this.” Xavier looked between his wives. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re asking for trouble if you fight the mate bond.” True to Bran’s description of her, Caro was brief, to the point, and factual. “There’s no fighting it, Xavier. You can stomp and carry on and yell like the alpha all you want. The bond is the bond.”
I noticed that Caro didn’t offer her thoughts. Only the facts.
“You also haven’t considered the distress it may cause them,” Andi spoke. Her tone was softer than Caro’s but no less determined. “We have a strong bond. But it’s not a mate bond. We built this, the four of us, together. Think about if someone told us to separate now.”
“That’s different.” Xavier wasn’t having it. “We weren’t putting our entire lives at risk, the lives of our entire pack.”
“No, it’s not. The mate bond is what we have now, but it happens all at once. The intensity, the commitment. You’re dooming our children to unhappiness.” Andi sounded angrier.
“Better than dooming them and their entire pack to destruction!”
Andi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She’d said what she needed to say. She didn’t plan to argue with Xavier further.
Which only seemed to irritate him. He looked between the two women. “Is that all you have to say?”
Neither woman answered him.
Alec sighed and rolled his eyes. He was every inch the put upon, put out man. “For fuck’s sake.”
“Alec.” Andi’s tone held a warning.
“Now is not the time to get on me about my language, Mom. Let’s put an end to this or at least the question of this. What do I do?” He still wouldn’t look at me.
“Take her hand.” Bran’s voice was cold and steely.
Before, Conan and Bran had tried to play this down. Now it looked like they felt Alex had crossed some sort of line. They were offended for me.
That warmed me.
Alec reached a hand toward me, and slowly, I took it.
His hand was cool and rougher than that of his brothers. I wondered what he did to get rough hands.
What would they feel like on me?
As that thought whirled in my brain, I looked up to see Alec’s bright blue eyes looking down at me. His fingers curled around mine, and I was lost in a sea of deep blue, flying across the ocean, warmed by the sun and this man.
A warmth filled me. I could feel my face turn up in a smile, and I drifted closer to Alec, finding that the space between us where our hands joined was too far.
We should be closer. I took a small step toward him, wanting to close the distance between us.
Alec blinked and dropped my hand. “There’s nothing there.”
“You’re not telling the truth,” I spoke quickly. “You were with me.”
“Where?” He shot back at me.
“Over the sea.” My voice was soft. “We were warmed by the sun.”
Alec stared, and then his shoulders dropped.
Without another word, he stormed out of the great room and down the long hallway. A moment later, a door slammed.
Ouch. Ouch. That really hurt. I felt the sting of his words, his actions. There was no putting a smiley face on things now.
Bran and Conan both moved closer to me.
I wondered if they could feel it, too, through our bond.
“That went well.” Sharona thumped her cane on the floor. “That settles that. All three of your children have a mate bond. So you need to decide what the next steps are, Xavier, and free up your calendar. I think we’ll be seeing a lot of one another for a bit.” She smiled at everyone in general.
Interestingly, she had neither agreed nor denied Xavier’s request to find out how to end the bond, only noted that the bond was settled.
Nice that something was. Because I sure as hell wasn’t. Settled, I mean.
What I was, was bonded.
To three different men.
I’d only lost my virginity last night. Last night! That was it. That was my experience with men, in addition to the time with Zane.
All in all, outside of Bran last night, not really an exciting or in-depth resume in terms of relationships.
Three men.
I barely knew myself.
It didn’t seem fair.
Last night, I’d felt free and different in a way I’d never felt. Today, I was tossed into a mess that I didn’t want.
At that moment, I felt both Conan and Bran squeeze my hands.
Did I really want to give them up? Either of them?
I didn’t think so.
All right. That meant I had to deal with what was in front of me.
“And you, Lena Raff. We’ll set up a time to talk, just you and me, missy. I have questions for you, and I’ll bet you have questions for me.”
She left, walking down the stairs and then out the door.
There was a heavy silence after she left.
“What now?” Andi asked.
“I think I need a drink.” Xavier sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.
“Honey, it’s not even noon.” Caro put her arm around Xavier.
“It’s already been a whole damn day.” Xavier looked at her. “You know what this means. Hey, will you get me a whiskey? I want to talk with Lena.”
Oh, hell.
“I’m not going to bite.” Xavier smiled. “Boys, you can stand down. I’m not going to do anything but talk.”
“We’re fine right here,” Bran spoke.
Conan nodded.
Xavier rolled his eyes. “Lena, will you come and sit with me? I’d appreciate it if you would talk with me for a bit.”
“I will.” I’d almost said, of course. But those days of me just going along were over. “Bran and Conan are welcome to sit with me. We’re a package deal now.” I didn’t ask for permission.
“Of course.” Xavier inclined his head.
He treated me as an equal, as someone worth hearing, worth listening to. More importantly, he saw nothing wrong with me telling him how I would move forward in my life, even for something as simple as a sit-down.
For as long as I could remember, Sofia, Zane, or even occasionally Yuri would shut me down if I’d expressed opinions. At first, after I’d been fostered with the Darkbanes, I’d go home to see my dad. He not only shut me down but also told me not to be a damn fool and take the chance the Darkbanes were offering.
This, this simple interaction, this was what it was supposed to be like. This was how a family treated one another.
Xav
ier wasn’t happy with me, with the changes and potential trouble I brought. Yet, he still treated me right.
“Come.” Xavier led the way back into the living area, taking a seat on one of the loveseats close to the window where I’d been standing.
I sat across from him, with Conan on my right and Bran on my left. They were feeling ready to have a go at their dad. I could tell.
As much as I liked the connection, I thought we would have to find a way to pull a curtain between our emotions. This was too much. It would make me crazy. How did you take care of yourself when others were so much at the forefront?
There had to be a balance.
Andi came over and handed Xavier a tumbler with amber liquid. She sat on the arm of the loveseat; her arm draped around his shoulders. Caro sat on the other side of him.
It felt like a parley between two warring parties.
“How did this happen, Lena? I’d like to hear from you, not my sons.”
I sighed and repeated what I’d told everyone earlier. As I talked about why I’d left Zane, Xavier frowned, but he didn’t interrupt.
When I took a breath, Xavier spoke. “There has been a statement, of sorts, from the Darkbanes.”
“What did they say?”
“That someone has taken one of their family, and they would like her back. They are worried. They also spoke in a way that….” He considered. “They’re suggesting foul play. They haven’t named you, only that someone came into their land and took someone away.”
“That’s not even close to what happened. Didn’t one of you say that they were making a lot of sad noises privately?” I looked between Conan and Bran.
Conan nodded. “Yes. They are.”
“Well, let me tell you the truth.” I met Xavier’s gaze and didn’t look away as I finished telling him everything. I stopped when I got to the part about touching Alec. Something was missing here. It was as though I forgot something—what?
“Wait a sec.” I got up, easing out from between my mates. “Will you guys give me a second?”
“Why?” Conan asked.
“I need to speak with Alec again.”
“That might not be the best idea.” Bran’s worry showed all over his face.
“No, it’s all right. Wait here. You’ll know if it all goes to hell.” I smiled, but my thoughts were already on what was about to happen.
I had to know.
I could hear the others talking as I walked down the hall. I let their voices fade, concentrating on Alec and Alec alone.
I felt him.
He was angry, upset, and pacing, his energy strong and in motion. I knocked on the door.
“Go away.”
“Alec, it’s Lena.”
“I know.”
Did he realize he was acknowledging our bond even as he paced this room back and forth, seeking to deny it?
“Will you please open the door? This will only take a moment.”
The pacing stopped.
The door swung open hard as though he’d yanked it. “What?”
“Will you take my hand again?”
“So that you can lie again?”
Even though his words were mean, I wasn’t bothered. Not this time. I knew the truth. So did he. A calm settled on me. He was angry for his own reasons. And for the first time, I agreed with something Zane had told me for years. It wasn’t all about me. Whatever was going on with Alec had nothing to do with me.
“I’m not lying. But I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone other than myself. I need to see if—will you please take my hand?” I didn’t want to try and explain now.
He made a snorting noise—I’d need to tell him this was not attractive, not even a little bit—and then thrust his hand toward me.
I took it, bracing for the overwhelming feeling of touching my mate.
It was as amazing as before. His rough hands gave me a thrill, one I wanted to explore further. But that wasn’t why I wanted to touch him. I needed to see if I saw the vision again.
Wow, it was difficult to keep my focus on my purpose, and not the warmth and feel of Alec’s hand in mine and the desire that rose in me, like a huge way coming onshore. I wanted to let go and let the wave engulf me.
There was something I needed to do, to see, first.
A flash nearly blinded me, and I closed my eyes.
I was back in the darkened room. The moon shone even more brightly than it had the previous times I’d seen it. The feeling of sorrow that hung over the entire scene deepened and intensified. The woman was passing something through the candle I’d seen before, her hood slightly back on her head. Then she took the thing, whatever it was, from the flame, and she kissed it.
Her eyes were closed.
I ached for her. A sense of loss, of unending loss, crashed over me like a tidal wave, and I could feel the tears spring to my eyes.
What had she lost?
Whatever she’d kissed, she held it out and leaned forward over a—what was it? It wasn’t a table. She tucked the thing, something small and silver that glinted in the light of the moon, into the basket in front of her.
Then she looked out the window, and her face was wet with tears.
I slammed back from the vision with a force that whipped me away from where I stood with Alec and fell into the wall with a thud.
“Ow!” I rubbed my head.
A shout came from the living room. Within seconds, I heard two sets of steps running toward me, and before I could even get up, Bran and Conan were on either side of me, helping me up.
“What did you do to her?” Conan snarled at Alec.
“You’d better talk fast.” Bran’s growl was even more menacing.
Chapter Eleven
Alec
I’d never seen my brothers like this. Not ever.
I understood. I wanted to reach out to Lena, comfort her, make sure she was all right.
Most of all, I wanted to kiss her, learn her, make her mine.
Make me hers.
Her calm reaction to me calling her a liar earlier and a few moments ago shook me. She knew I was lying.
She didn’t let it faze her.
“I didn’t do anything. Lena, what happened?” I didn’t move, not wanting to set off my brothers.
“I’m okay.” She took both Conan and Bran’s hands.
Her touch calmed them both.
I understood. I wanted her touch for myself.
But I couldn’t.
I knew what this meant for me, for all three of us.
For the Blackwood pack.
All three of us had been betrothed to young women from other packs with whom we had challenging relationships. The Blackwoods needed these alliances, needed the ties these marriages would bring.
I wasn’t going to let my feelings get in the way of something my family had worked for, for years.
Twenty years ago, the wolves were ruled by a king. Because wolves fought over everything, the king was chosen from the fae. And for years, he’d ruled all of the wolves well, with fairness. Sounds crazy in this day and age, but that’s how it was set up. The packs spent centuries killing one another, squabbling over lands and hunting grounds and mates and anything else you could think of. Tired of dying, the wolves had called for another solution.
Thankfully, the fae were ready to step in.
The ‘king’ idea worked well for nearly two hundred years, and then a faction led by the Darkbanes revolted. I’d talked to my dad about it. He hadn’t gone into the details other than to say that the Darkbanes could never be trusted because of what they’d done to the king and his family. Two of the families we were allied with in pending marriage had backed the Darkbanes, although they hadn’t actively participated.
Since that time, we’d dissolved into factions, fighting and jockeying for position. My father was part of a faction that was unfriendly to the Darkbanes. Within that faction, it wasn’t all happiness and light.
Hence our engagements.
The Bl
ackwoods would be part of leadership if families ever ruled again within the wolf shifter world. It was a good match for us, as well as for the other packs.
But things were always tentative. My dad did a good job keeping tensions reasonable. He also had Sharona, who was a secret weapon if ever there was one. Watching her work with people was amazing. It was her gift, the ability to calm the waters. I knew for a fact that more than one pack had tried to lure her away to work with them.
She was a Blackwood by birth, though. She’d die with us.
“I wanted to touch you again.” She stopped, and her breathing hitched. Our eyes met, and I could feel her longing.
It mirrored mine.
“When I was with Bran, and when I touched Conan, I saw something. I didn’t see it when I touched you the first time, and I wanted to see if I could see it again.”
“What did you see?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s weird, like watching a movie about a fairy tale. And it’s sad.” She brushed at her eyes, which glittered with unshed tears. “But I’m okay. It’s just that whatever I’m seeing, the woman is really unhappy.”
“But you’re okay?” Conan peered at her. “Alec didn’t do anything to you? He didn’t throw you against the wall?”
“I don’t think so. I touched him, looking for the vision, and when it came to me, it was really strong.” She stopped. “This is so frustrating! It’s like… like I fall into someone else’s memory, and I’m standing off to the side watching. There, but not there. It’s not gentle either. There are strong emotions, a lot of sadness and pain. I think that’s what threw me back.”
“But you can’t be sure?” Bran glared at me. His intent was clear.
If I’d hurt her, he’d do his level best to kill me.
“I’m pretty sure Alec didn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t.” Lena was resolute. “I know you’re itching to pick a fight or something, but this, whatever is happening with me, this isn’t it.”
“What are you seeing?” I wanted to get this away from things that were making my brothers angry.
“Conan, Bran, can I speak with Alec alone?” Lena didn’t answer me.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Bran didn’t even hesitate.
