by Jane Carter
‘Hi Rosie, sorry I’m late. Just had a bit of a problem with Milo.’
‘Don’t tell me the wonder child is causing trouble.’ Rosie looked up with a sceptical look on her face.
‘No, just normal stuff. The kids are getting on each other’s nerves a bit, maybe they should go to school. I feel for Mum and Dad. It’s a big ask to suddenly have three kids dumped on you, not to mention a crazy daughter. Then Mum thought we should ring the other grandparents. She’d been trying but couldn’t get on, but we got through to them tonight.’
Diana sat down gratefully. It hadn’t been an easy conversation. There had been an awful lot of ‘When are you coming back?’ questions. Questions she wasn’t prepared to answer at the moment. They adored the kids and were missing them badly. She wasn’t ready to even think about it.
‘Why are all these people here? It looks busy for a Thursday.’
‘Pete Summer’s funeral has brought everyone in the district out of the woodwork,’ said Rosie.
Of course, the funeral. Diana had forgotten how the town turned out in force to farewell one of its own. ‘Where’s Mal?’
‘He’ll be here later. He’s been with Alan Summers all day.’
‘Oh I’m sorry. Was it awful? I didn’t have much time to talk to Mum and Dad about it.’ Talking had been a bit strained after Milo’s outburst. She didn’t understand why Milo had got so upset, or why she had. But her parents had to know there was a bottom line.
‘Pretty dreadful,’ said Rosie. ‘Everyone looked shell-shocked, mostly. Enormous turnout.’
Really, her parents hadn’t said anything about the funeral because she hadn’t asked. They knew it was a topic she wasn’t comfortable with yet.
Diana went to the bar to get them a drink. A wine for Rosie and a beer for her. She tried a different craft beer that she’d never heard of and carried them back to the table.
She blew the head to one side and sipped the icy brew appreciatively. She hoped they weren’t going to discuss Pete Summers all night. It gave her the creeps. This was not a good night to have come into town. She could feel the funereal gloom all around her. It hadn’t been like this for Charlie, she’d made sure of that. Charlie’s parents had been a little shocked but he had so loved a party. He was always waltzing in, swinging her around and saying, ‘Party time, Di! Let’s have a party!’ And a whole stream of friends—even people she’d never met before—would suddenly appear at the door, carrying a few bottles and chips, and the party was on.
Charlie was given a good send-off. It wasn’t like this—Diana looked around at the muted conversations and solemn faces. A terrible sadness overwhelmed her.
‘Sorry, Di,’ said Rosie, watching her. ‘Once again I didn’t think. This must be awful for you.’
‘It’s okay. Charlie’s was different to this. He did love a party and I did my best to send him off in style. Something he’d have appreciated.’
‘I remember when you wanted a party,’ Rosie leant forward, ‘for your sixteenth birthday. Do you remember? Now that was a party and a half.’
‘Are you joking? It was a total disaster. I got drunk. Some of the boys snuck in some alcohol. And Dad was incredible. He showed me how to put my fingers down my throat and throw up.’
‘Did he really? He never showed me.’ Rosie was astonished.
‘Probably didn’t need to. It was way too soon after Cody. We should never had it so close.’ Even now she had a problem saying death.
‘I think Mum and Dad wanted to do anything that would help life get back to normal for us all. Dad anyway.’
Diana had celebrated her twenty-first with a bottle of Jacob’s Creek Shiraz in her bedsit. Charlie had insisted on throwing her a thirty-first, because she’d missed out on a twenty-first, he’d said. They’d been married a couple of years and it had been a surprise. She hadn’t got drunk at that one because she’d been nursing Milo.
And all you could do was ask how we were going to pay for it. I was doing it for you.
Enough!
Rosie got her attention again. ‘I’ve been meaning to talk to you about Granny. Mum and I’ve been thinking, she could qualify for some help, things that would help her to stay home—shower rails in the bathroom, someone to help her with shopping or to have a shower. I’ve been thinking we should sign her up to Vital Call? What do you think?’
‘That sounds wonderful, Rosie, before something terrible happens.’
‘She would have to be assessed by ACAT. I’ll get some forms. Dad will have to fill them in. We have some good nurses in town who do this “at home” service. I know you’ve been doing your bit, but Granny needs more help now. What we’ll do when you go, I’m not sure.’
‘Rosie, I’m really worried about Dad. Do you think he’d ever ask for help?’
‘No. And he’s the one who has to ask for it,’ she said. ‘It’s like a holocaust at the moment, which is mostly because farmers are very bad at admitting there’s anything wrong. They won’t ask for help. I’ve got an idea though. I wonder if I could get Will Talbot to go out there and talk to him?’
‘You’re about the only one who could. Have a go, will you, Rosie? I wish there was more I could do,’ said Diana. ‘Will Mal be long?’
‘I don’t know. He doesn’t communicate much these days. I’m worried about him, too.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t think he’s happy.’ Rosie sipped her wine.
‘Midlife crisis?’
‘I guess. No, more than that. I think he wants out. But I’m afraid it includes me and our marriage and I’m too scared to have it out with him.’
‘Oh Rosie, no, he loves you. I’m certain,’ said Diana. ‘Having said that, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Charlie had wanted out of our marriage. Which makes everything that happened so much worse.’
‘So you think I could be forcing my husband into crashing his car?’
‘No, I definitely don’t. Rosie, don’t jump to conclusions.’
Mal suddenly appeared and sat down heavily at the table. ‘What a day.’ He looked from one to the other. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ Rosie said quickly.
‘Good. I’ve had enough drama for today. Who wants a drink?’
* * *
A week later Stella and Diana were peeking out the open front door as Will Talbot leant against his car, hands in his pockets, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Tom had one elbow propped against the gate post. They had been talking for quite a while.
Diana and Stella returned to the kitchen, and Diana resumed her favourite position, leaning against the warm Aga, while her mother washed up cups in a saucepan in the sink.
‘Rosie did this, when?’ whispered Stella
‘We were talking the other night in the pub and she must have got right on to it.’
‘How long have they been chatting?’
‘At least ten minutes. Why are we whispering?’
Stella chuckled. ‘I don’t know. It was so wonderful of Will to come out here in the first place to talk about all those aids for Peg. But when your father went out to open the gate for him and they started talking … I couldn’t believe it.’
‘Does Will usually pay home visits?’ Diana asked curiously.
‘Never, at least not out here. He often visits Peg in town but they’ve always got on so well.’
‘Good on Rosie. She said she was going to ask Will to talk to Dad, on the pretext of talking about Peg.’
‘Diana, you didn’t?’ Her mother was horrified and stopped as she was about to pour the kitchen bucket into her new pitcher.
‘Look, Mum, something had to be done about it. Dad’s not the same as he was.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous! As if any of us are the same as we were twenty years ago. And he has pressures. I know he’s finding it hard to come to a decision.’
‘A decision! He’s not making any decisions.’
Milo appeared at the back door. ‘Mum, Tommo said I could have
a lesson on the bike, if it was all right with you. Can I ask him now?’
‘How about you wait a little while, just until Dr Talbot goes?’ Diana said. ‘I’ll come and get you when he’s ready.’
‘Okay.’ Milo disappeared again.
‘It’s really hard to work out where Granny is at the moment, isn’t it?’ said Diana.
‘Home, I hope,’ her mother muttered.
‘No, that’s not what I meant. I mean mentally.’
‘Hallelujah! Welcome to our world.’
‘Would you stop being so sarcastic?’ Diana groaned. ‘She can never remember I have three kids but the past is as clear as crystal. And you never know what she’s going to come out with next. Do you know she was telling me the other day about going to the wool sales in Sydney with Gramps. How they were picked up in a hire car courtesy of Pitt Sons in O’Connell Street and taken to the wool stores to inspect their wool. Can you believe it—a hire car! Then they were handed white coats to wear, the agents discussed their wool—at length—and told them the price they’d thought they could get. Then they were driven back in the hire car again, and entertained for lunch in an enormous room that Granny said had a marble floor and a huge glass atrium. Then they went to the actual sale, where they always got more for their wool than it had been valued at. “Always” she said, tapping her nose and nodding, you know how she does. And then they would have a few nights in Sydney staying at The Metropole before coming home. What a life!’
‘Well, I must admit those times had certainly disappeared before I came on the scene,’ said Stella. ‘I remember falling to the ground and kissing the earth when they put a Reserve Price on wool, which saved our bacon, I can tell you. Anyway they moved selling the wool to Yennora, it wasn’t nearly as glamorous.’
‘But I mean, is it all true?’
‘Is what true?’ asked Tom as he came through from the front.
Diana and her mother jumped.
‘Granny’s days of high living at the wool sales that she was telling me about,’ said Diana.
‘Probably. I went once with them, I remember. It was pretty amazing. Everyone wore suits and ties. I wore a tie and I was only eleven. I remember being handed a very large lemonade. I think the most exciting thing for me was riding in the limousine. I got to sit in the front. Where’s Milo? I promised I’d take him for a lesson on the bike.’
Diana and her mother watched as her father walked on through the kitchen and called for Milo.
Sienna followed them back into the kitchen and looked disconsolately at her grandfather and Milo disappearing down the back steps. ‘I don’t know why I can’t go, when Tommo said I could.’
Sienna was good at not letting anything go. ‘I explained to you, darling, you’re just not old enough.’
‘I’ll never be old enough.’
Diana raised her eyebrows at her mother as Sienna flounced from the room.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
There was someone in the doorway. Diana was awake instantly. A little figure shivered in the pool of light that came from the hall.
‘Sienna? Sienna, what’s wrong?’ She extricated herself from the bedclothes as carefully as she could to avoid waking Saskia, and wrapped her arms around the stiff, pyjama-clad body. The wet, pyjama-clad body.
‘Oh, Sienna you haven’t done this for ages,’ Diana whispered, stripping off her daughter’s pyjamas as quickly as she could. She took a T-shirt from her drawer and pulled it over Sienna’s head, and then climbed into bed with her.
She could feel Sienna was still trembling and trying not to cry. ‘It’s all right, sweetheart, it doesn’t matter.’ Diana rocked her in her arms. ‘Is anything wrong? Did you have a bad dream?’
‘Yes, I had a bad dream.’
‘It’s okay, we all have bad dreams. Can you remember what it was?’
‘I dreamt we stayed in Australia for the rest of my life and we never went back to Gospel Oak.’
Oh lord. ‘That would never happen. We’ll go back.’
‘And I never saw Grandma and Grandpa again,’ She hiccupped. ‘Or Polly, or my school, or my friends.’
‘Of course you’ll see them again.’
‘But Stella told Tommo we weren’t going back. We were going to go to school here.’
‘That was only a maybe, and only for a little while, just for you to have something to do. But we have to make those decisions—you and Milo and Saskia and me.’
Now wasn’t that the truth. It wasn’t going to be just her decision, was it?
‘Right, now think about something lovely and happy, close your eyes and this time your dream will be a happy one.’ Diana kissed her daughter and held her, realising suddenly how much Sienna had grown. It must be all the meat they were eating.
Sienna closed her eyes. ‘I’m thinking about Saturdays,’ she whispered. ‘Saturday’s my best day.’
‘Why Saturday?’ Diana couldn’t help asking.
‘Saturdays Grandma takes me and Saskia shopping. We go to Brent Cross and I have a babyccino and a pink cake.’
‘And I have a poppa and pink cake, too.’ Saskia chimed in, wide awake.
‘And she always buys us something, just a little something, and we look at all the shops.’
Saturdays had been Diana’s day off. Charlie took Milo to football—draped in every bit of Arsenal paraphernalia they had acquired over the years, hats, scarves and jumpers—and disappeared completely for a few hours, and the girls would go with Charlie’s mother.
Diana could pot, if she needed to catch up. What heaven that was. She could go and get her hair cut or just hang out. Saturdays. Brent Cross was an enormous shopping mall a few miles away from where they lived in Gospel Oak. Every shop and retail item known to man could be found there, she was sure. Diana usually avoided it like the plague. She much preferred the local shops, just around the corner.
‘Stella takes you shopping,’ she said.
‘Stella doesn’t have time when we go shopping, we have to hurry and the shops aren’t very big.’
She had that right.
‘Sometimes we’d meet Polly there with her mum.’ Sienna’s voice trembled.
‘Shh, just think about Saturdays. And being with Grandma and Polly again and all the things you’ll have to tell them when we get back.’
‘I’ll tell them about Spot,’ Saskia piped up. ‘When we go back do you think Stella will look after Spot, or will I have to bring him with me?’
Diana was pretty sure Stella wouldn’t miss Spot all that much, but Saskia would be devastated to hear it.
‘Right now, I think Spot needs you and Stella. Close your eyes and go to sleep.’
Diana thought of the new supermarket in town, with its four adjacent shops. Not exactly Brent Cross, was it? Should she take them away for a few days? Go to visit Megan for a little holiday? They could hire a car in town, Bruno’s always had one or two. She definitely needed a car.
Her daughters settled into sleep on either side of her. Diana rolled Saskia’s leg away to give herself a little more room in the overcrowded bed.
* * *
Diana met her mother in the hall as she was coming out of Rosie’s old bedroom with Sienna’s sheets in her arms.
‘I’m sorry. We’ve had a little accident. Can I do a wash today?’
Stella looked stricken. ‘Oh! Who?’
‘Sienna, but don’t say anything. She hasn’t done it for ages. She gets paranoid if you say anything.’
‘Of course I won’t. Diana, it worked.’
‘What worked?’
‘Well, something worked. Your father has suggested we should get Peg assessed by an ACAT team, you have to wait six weeks. At least he’s decided on something. And he’s agreed to take some of these tests Will’s talked to him about. One step at a time.’ Stella looked relieved. ‘Here give them to me.’ She whisked the sheets from Diana’s arms and went down the hall humming something unrecognisable.
* * *
Diana put forward her
plan at breakfast that morning.
‘Let’s go down the coast for a few days to visit Megan.’ She looked expectantly at Sienna and Saskia, then round to Milo.
He frowned back at her. ‘Tommo said I could have another lesson on the bike today.’
You couldn’t keep all the people happy, all of the time. She sighed.
‘You can do that before we go.’ She turned to her father. ‘I want to hire a car from Bruno’s. He still has them doesn’t he?’
Tom was busy filling out a form. ‘Mmmm, I think so. What’s my mother’s maiden name, Stell?’
The phone rang. Her mother got up to answer it. ‘Williams.’ She picked up the phone and disappeared into the hall.
‘What’s her date of birth?’ Tom looked up, registered Stella had gone, and went on filling out the form.
‘What are you doing?’ Diana asked.
‘Applying for the assessment Will told us about yesterday. At last it seems there is something we can do. It’ll help her stay in her house for longer, that’s got to be a positive. Can you children stop that noise? And no, I won’t have time to give you a lesson today, Milo.’
Diana opened the back door and signalled with her eyes, giving her children no choice but to move outside. Her father had been a little miffed after she’d confronted him about his plan to teach Sienna to ride the bike. He’d admitted no wrongdoing. ‘Absolute nonsense.’ he’d said. ‘There’s nothing wrong with giving her a go with me on it. How’s she ever going to learn, otherwise?’
Maybe a little distance would be good for everyone. Some time out.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Diana had forgotten how beautiful the South Coast was. Inlets, sandy beaches, national forests with huge gum trees stretched endlessly before her. She’d have to take one of the logging tracks and show the kids one of the forests, with their patches of regrowth and hillsides of felled logs and the tall, dark deep bush ringing with bell bird song, so different from the stands of gums at home with their knobby branches and interesting shapes. They’d have a picnic. Megan would know where to go.
