She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her tone. “So, he sent you here for the tests? To find out what went wrong?”
“He’s worried about you. He said you refuse to speak to him or see him. Lann called me just after you told him the news. I came as fast as I could. I’m based in Paris, so it took me a day to move appointments, and another to get here. I’m here because no other doctor will be able to help you.”
“Why not?”
“The vitals of a forbidden arts fetus are not the same as that of a normal baby. Any other gynecologist may mistake the higher heart rate as abnormal, and request treatments that will be harmful to both you and the baby.”
“And you specialize in this?”
“I do. I’d like to examine you, to make sure you’re healthy.”
“What about the baby?”
“I’ll check the baby too.” Her expression turned somber. “But you have to know that if you let the baby grow inside of you, you will die, Kat. We don’t know why yet, but there’s no cure. There’s nothing we can do for the mother.”
“I’ve been reading up. Why is there nothing, no theory, to explain the death occurrence?”
“No one has ever had the opportunity of doing tests on a pregnant mother or monitor an actual birth. All we know is that the baby’s body produces antibodies that attack those of the mother at birth, or at least that’s the theory. We’re still trying to work it out.”
“We can try, right?” Kat asked hopefully. “We can give it a chance?”
“I haven’t had any cases to work with. As you can appreciate, there aren’t women pregnant with forbidden babies. Those who gave birth were ignorant of their fate. Most of them didn’t know they were expecting special babies. All I’ve got to work with is theory.”
“So you need me as a kind of experiment?”
“Whatever data I can gather from your case study will help women like you in the future.” She added quickly, “Just until the abortion. I’m not asking you to sacrifice your life for science.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to work out why Lann could suddenly make me pregnant?”
“Yes. I’d like some blood, saliva, and vaginal samples to try and figure out what happened between you and Lann that reversed the infertility, but this isn’t only about research. I’d like to make sure you’re not in any immediate danger.”
When Kat didn’t reply, Eve said, “I need the data for future cases, Kat. You’re the only one in the world who can provide us with this. Lann’s type is unique.” Her smile was wry. “In fact, he’s the last of his kind.”
“He won’t be if I have this baby. If I do what he’s asking, if I have an abortion, his kind will be extinct.”
Eve pursed her lips. “Yes, that’s true.”
Kat considered Eve’s proposal. The least she could do was supply the doctor with whatever data she could gather to help prevent the death of future mothers of gifted babies.
“There are seven arts,” Kat said. “Does that mean there are other kinds out there, other people like Lann with different gifts?”
“I’m not at liberty to discuss that, but there is a woman who’s very interested in what I can learn from you.”
Kat nodded. “When do you want to do this?”
“I’ve set up a room in Lann’s residence. I can drive you there now if you feel strong enough.”
“No,” Kat said quickly. She couldn’t face him.
“I know this is emotional for you, but Lann’s monastery is the most secure place for us to work.”
“The media’s not a threat any longer.”
“It’s not the media I’m concerned about. Have you considered what would happen if anyone finds out what Lann really is, and that you’re expecting his baby?”
Kat frowned.
“You’ll be the most hunted person on the planet,” Eve said with an even voice.
Kat’s body went cold. It was as if the air had been sucked from her lungs. The thought hadn’t occurred to her. Trying not to show how shaken she was, she said, “Let’s hope then that nobody finds out.”
“You haven’t said anything about this to Diana, have you?”
Kat shook her head.
“Good.” Eve got to her feet. “There’s no point in wasting time. Shall we go?”
“Can Lann please not be there?” She cleared her throat. “It will be easier for me if I don’t have to face him.”
Eve’s expression was compassionate. “I’ll ask, but you know Lann. Nobody makes up his mind for him.”
Despite the fact that it was Monday, the monastery was quiet when Kat and Eve arrived. Only the security guards and Alfonso were around.
“Where’s everyone?” Kat asked.
“Lann had to give them the day off,” Eve replied. “We didn’t want to risk any info leaking out.”
At least Lann had left with them. It was no small measure of relief. Kat took in the garden she’d once found serene as they made their way down the hallway past the library. Now the small paradise in the middle of town only left her with sadness and a sense of loss. They took the stairs to the first floor, she guessed to use one of the unoccupied bedrooms, but at the top of the staircase she stopped dead.
Tall and imposing with an unreadable expression, Lann stood on the landing.
Eve shot Kat an apologetic look. Moving past him, she said, “I’ll wait inside.”
Kat approached slowly, as if she could postpone the inevitable.
“Thanks for doing this,” he said in a formal voice, adjusting his glasses.
She couldn’t help the bite in her tone. “I’m not doing it for you.”
“You’re not doing it for yourself, either. That’s brave.”
“I am doing it for myself.”
A frown marred his features. “What do you mean?”
“I’m hoping Eve will find a cure.”
At the end of the hallway, Eve entered the bedroom where Kat had stayed when she’d lived here.
A warning flashed in his golden eyes behind his glasses. “Katherine.”
She got it. He didn’t want her to have hope. There was nothing more to say.
When she walked past him, he grabbed her arm.
“This is not what I want,” he said.
Meaning a baby. It stung. His rejection was still too fresh a wound. She couldn’t deal with this too. Not now. Freeing her arm, she said, “Then I’m on my own.”
Not sparing him another glance, she carried on down the hallway and entered the bedroom into which Eve had disappeared.
Her old room had been converted into a lab. There was a desk with computers, a long counter with microscopes and various other instruments, and an ultrasound scanner.
“You can lie down,” Eve said, pointing at the bed.
The air shifted around them as a memory of what Lann had done to her in that bed made Kat’s stomach flip. At the click of the door, she spun around. The reason for the subtle displacement of air was standing in front of the closed door, his arms crossed over his chest and his stance wide.
Oh, no. This wasn’t going to happen. “I’m not doing this with you here.”
The golden color of his eyes turned to a frosty yellow. “You’ll have my support whether you want it or not.”
“Please, don’t put yourself out on my behalf. I’m sure you have places to be.”
He narrowed his gaze. “I’m going nowhere.”
She crossed her arms, mirroring his stance. “I don’t want you here.”
“Why?”
Despite how much seeing him hurt, the air she dragged into her lungs tasted sweeter. Breathing was easier, and it only made the pain in her heart worse. “It’ll be easier for me if you’re not present.”
His tone was uncompromising. “This concerns me too.”
“He’s right,” Eve said, touching her arm. She shot Lann a stern look. “He won’t upset you.”
Not being able to argue the fact that Lann was as implicated as she was, Kat remov
ed her shoes and lay down on the bed while Eve moved between monitors and equipment to prepare the setup. Kat stiffened when Lann perched on the side of the bed. Resting his elbows on his knees, he clasped his hands together. His eyes shone a pale yellow from behind his glasses, and his jaw was tight.
“I first want to check your vitals,” Eve said, “and then we’ll take the samples.”
The doctor took Kat’s blood pressure, temperature, and heart rate. Lann considerately turned away for the vaginal sample, as if he’d never seen her naked.
While Eve was preparing a hypodermic needle for the blood sample, Lann said, “Can I get you anything, Katherine?”
“No, thanks.”
“Blanket? Drink? Something to eat?”
She shook her head, and offered her arm for Eve to insert the needle.
Eve filled three vials. “Your vitals are normal. I’ll send the samples to my lab for analysis. I don’t have the technology here to do it.”
“Any idea when you’ll have some answers?” Lann asked.
Kat assumed he was referring to the mysterious reversal of his infertility.
“It may take a while as I don’t really know what I’m looking for.” Eve gave Kat a bright smile. “Shall we do the ultrasound now?”
The smile was meant to mask the inevitable destiny that awaited the tiny being growing in her womb. Not trusting her voice to speak, Kat only nodded.
Eve asked her to unbutton her pants. The doctor spread gel over her abdomen and switched on the ultrasound monitor.
“Gifted babies develop faster than normal ones. We’ll be able to hear the heartbeat.”
She moved the transducer probe over Kat’s stomach, and paused when she found what she was looking for. There it was, the little person, their child, no bigger than a lentil. And just like that, she fell in love. Irrevocably and completely. An overwhelming feeling of dearness flooded her heart. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to love and protect it. Her unborn baby had stolen her heart in a second flat.
Kat crumpled the sheet in her fist. Joy, grief, and terror bled together, but not even those emotions were powerful enough to overshadow the love that had nestled in her heart. A strong, steady rhythm beeped from the monitor.
The heartbeat.
Her baby’s tiny, beating heart.
Tears of wonder and fear for the life she carried filled her eyes. Lann’s reaction was very different. He showed neither joy, nor concern. He sat frozen. Another few beats fell in the silence. Her own heart was hammering in her chest, out of sync with her baby’s much faster little heartbeat. Abruptly, he got to his feet, and turned away from the sight and sound of the new life he’d helped create. He walked to the window and pressed with his palms on the frame, looking down into the square.
Eve’s gaze followed him. She switched off the monitor and handed Kat a paper towel to wipe away the gel.
“Well,” she said, too cheerfully, “you’re doing great, Kat. Everything seems fine. Now we just have to weigh you.”
Lann faced them again, leaning against the windowsill. “We have to tell her, Eve.”
Trepidation pulled Kat’s stomach into a knot. Kat lifted herself up on her elbows. “Tell me what?”
“We have to terminate the pregnancy by next week,” he said, “or your body would’ve altered too much. It has to be done before seven weeks. Every day after that puts your life at risk.”
What? The shock was like a shard of glass in her heart. Laying back against the pillows, she placed a palm over her stomach, sheltering her child from the cold words.
Lann moved back to her side. “I’ll be here, every step of the way.” He took her hand that rested at her side. “You won’t have to go through this alone.”
She pulled free. Pain lashed at her from all sides. It was impossible to hide from the onslaught.
“I’m afraid it’s true,” Eve said. “We can’t gamble with your life.”
Kat fought the tears, but failed, and looked away.
Eve’s voice was gentle. “I know this is hard. I’ll recommend a good therapist to help you deal with the trauma.” She walked to Lann’s side and touched Kat’s shoulder. “There’ll be other babies.”
Lann’s back went rigid at Eve’s last words. The idea of children truly appalled him.
“I need you to sign an indemnity form,” Eve continued. “Do you need a moment?”
Kat closed her eyes. Worse things happened on a daily basis. People suffered, people died in war. Then why did this feel like the end of the world?
“Kat?” Eve coaxed. “If you need a minute—”
Kat shook her head. “I’m fine.”
“I’ll book a theater at the clinic in France,” Eve said to Lann, who nodded.
France? If it was possible, Kat tensed even more. “What?”
“I’m based in Paris,” Eve explained.
Kat wasn’t leaving the country. “I’m not going anywhere.” She sounded rude, but she didn’t care.
“We can’t do the procedure here,” Lann said. “It’s illegal and we couldn’t find someone trustworthy on a moment’s notice. If we don’t leave by tomorrow morning, it’ll be too late.”
She stopped breathing. Tomorrow? No. Everything inside her protested. It was too soon. No matter if they gave her weeks, or months, it would always be too soon.
Lann addressed Eve. “Can you give us a minute, please?”
When Eve left the room, he removed his glasses and left them on the nightstand, just as he’d done when he’d made love to her. No, when he’d fucked her. There had been nothing more to their intimate moments, and she’d be better off getting that fact through her head.
When Lann took her hands to pull her into a sitting position, she was still deep in her thoughts and caught off-guard. It was only when he sat down and wrapped his arms around her that she came to her senses again.
She pushed on his shoulders. “No.”
He tightened his hold. “Shh.”
The dam wall broke. The ugly tears she’d been trying to hold back finally erupted in even uglier sobs as she banged her fists on his arms. “Let me go.”
The more she fought, the tighter he hugged her. An irrational urge made her want to hurt him as much as she was hurting, but her effort had no effect on him. She only tired herself.
Her energy spent, she sagged in his arms. This wasn’t how she’d envisioned the end of their relationship. She no longer had the luxury of pretending she was all right, and she had no one to blame but herself. This was the price she was paying for a month’s worth of unequalled passion and unrequited love. When the worst of the storm had passed, she only had silent tears left inside.
“I’m sorry, krasavitsa.” Lann kissed the top of her head. “I wish I could take this away from you. I swear I’ll make it better.”
After her humiliating breakdown, Kat fell asleep. She hadn’t had a full night of consolidated sleep for two weeks. She was exhausted. When she woke up in her old bedroom in Lann’s home, she felt rested, but sadness had invaded her body. Like a monster, it now lived inside her. It fed on her happiness and lust for life, the effect no different than feeling physically bruised.
She wiped her eyes and gave a start. Lann stood in the shadows, watching her.
She sat up. “How long have you been standing there?”
“We need to go back to your place.” His voice was strained. “You need to pack.”
She swung her feet off the bed. “I need to go back to my place.”
He clenched his hands at his sides. “Why won’t you let me support you?”
She didn’t want his support. She needed his love. It was harder for her when he was being kind. It would’ve been easier if he acted like an asshole. That way, she could’ve hated him. She walked past him into the hallway.
“Katherine,” he called after her, “let me drive you home.”
“I’m good, thanks.” She wanted to be alone. She didn’t even feel like facing Diana.
“Is th
at how much you hate me?” he asked behind her.
She paused. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t hate him. He’d been clear about his intentions from the start.
“Katherine,” he said when she resumed walking.
Didn’t he understand? She didn’t want his sympathy or his care. It would hurt too much to walk away again.
“I can’t say I blame you,” he said. “At least let my driver drop you off.”
She closed her eyes briefly, quietly declining the offer as she turned and took the stairs.
His footsteps fell behind her. “You can’t tell Diana. Tell her we’re going to France for a holiday. Convince her we’re going there to talk things over. It’s for your own safety.”
She started walking faster, registering with relief that he wasn’t following her to the door. She buzzed herself out, and, since it was already late, took the metro home. She recognized two men a few seats away as Lann’s security staff, but they kept their distance. Being in a mass of nameless people, people who didn’t know her and who didn’t care about her fate, was soothing. At least here she could get lost in a crowd, and being in a public place forced her to keep her emotions intact.
By the time she got home, she had enough control over herself to pack calmly. She only told Diana that Lann was taking her to France, letting her roommate believe they were going to talk things over. She said she needed to get away from Santiago. She needed distance to get a fresh perspective on her future. Diana ranted and raved, trying to change her mind, but when her friend realized it was futile, she gave up, helped Kat pack, and told her to come home the minute he mistreated her.
Kat didn’t say she’d only come back one last time to pack up her belongings. Diana would try to sway her, and she didn’t have enough energy for another fight. She’d made the decision on her way to the apartment. She never wanted to see Santiago again. That she was going to do exactly what her mother warned her not to, didn’t matter now. She was going to throw away a once-in-a-lifetime study opportunity to escape her memories. She’d make it somewhere else, where the memories were not so vivid. She could get a job for a while, and maybe study something new.
Aeromancist (SECOND EDITION): Art of Air (7 Forbidden Arts Book 3) Page 3
