Finish his book. That would make his publisher happy. But then what?
Normally when Cam finished one project, he couldn’t wait to get on the road again. A new wild adventure, a brand-new story to write: his own and his characters’. His tradition for finishing a book was a steak dinner and a dive into his files, letting his imagination begin to work on the next one. It was his favorite thing about his life—the challenge and the novelty of constant change.
So why wasn’t he excited?
Latham took a slow turn, taking it all in. “They’re really making progress in here. Even with an expanded kitchen in the bakery, it looks huge. And with those new windows, it looks light and spacious. I love the exposed brick. It’s gonna be gorgeous.”
“The counter and bakery case are going in this week. Jules has to pick out the tables and Wynn’s coming in to paint some words or something on the walls. I wasn’t consulted on that decision.”
“Any problems with construction?” Latham asked.
“Some of the electricity wasn’t up to code, and since we were expanding we had to work on that, but that’s been the only really big thing. There was some dry rot in the bathroom wall, but we kind of figured that. There’s nothing much left now of the original place.”
“What does Bertie think?”
“Jules emailed her a few pictures when it was all gutted. To be honest, I don’t think they’ve talked about it too much. When Bertie decided to let go, she left everything in Jules’s hands.”
Cam opened the French doors that led to a decked courtyard with a portico and an outdoor fireplace. “The string lights will go up this week, too.”
Latham sat down on one of the benches that had already been installed and stretched his legs out, admiring the space. “This was such a great idea. The Hilltop will be a gathering spot, not just a diner.”
“That was kind of the plan. I’m glad you like it. Jules said you helped her with the reclaimed pieces in the bakery, so if you have anything you think might work in here, let me know.”
“I will. I know I have some big pieces of lumber that would make great open shelves. I’ll send a picture over to Jules when I get back to the shop this afternoon.” Latham took out his phone and typed a reminder to himself.
“I’ll let her know.” Cam took a swig of his coffee.
“I’ve read a couple of your books. Guardian ad litem visits notwithstanding, Red Hill Springs is not exactly an adventure travel destination.”
“Trust me, being married is adventure enough.”
Latham snorted a laugh. “Have to agree there. Especially when you’re married to a hardheaded Sheehan woman.”
“Without a doubt. Though I like to think of it as grit.”
“Grit’s a good word for it,” Latham laughed. “I wouldn’t put money on anyone else in a fight and I know y’all have got one with the custody stuff going on.”
“Yeah, we’ll both feel a lot better when that’s all sorted out.” And when it was, Jules wouldn’t need him anymore. And there was the problem he hadn’t foreseen when he made the deal.
It wasn’t supposed to hurt when he went back to traveling. He would see them, he guessed, if he came home to write, but it wouldn’t be the same.
“I know how that is. Once we adopted Penny, we petitioned for custody of her little brother, who’s also in foster care. So far, even though it’s been over a year, the judge is still letting it drag out. It’s frustrating and hard, especially when you think you know what’s best for the kids.”
“It really is.” Cam looked at his watch. “It’s time for me to go. I promised Jules I’d keep the kids so she could go out to the farm. I think they’re redecorating the cottage or something.”
“Yeah, I said I’d install a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs to the loft. It’s a surprise, but they’re redoing it for Kiera. She’s a success story like... Well, like you. She landed at Red Hill Farm as one of the first foster kids, seventeen and with a brand-new baby, but she graduated from high school and started college. She’s in nursing school now.”
“That’s... Wow.” Cam admired that kind of tenacity. It was flattering that Latham compared her to him, but he wasn’t sure he deserved it.
He’d thought the past couldn’t touch him anymore, but that was before he came back to Red Hill Springs. He might look like a success on the outside, but on the inside he was still the same kid no one wanted.
* * *
Jules dragged the couch to the spot under the window. “What if we put the couch here? We can use the round coffee table and put the new white chairs on the other side?”
Wynn stepped back. “I don’t know. I like the idea of Kiera being able to sit on the couch with her feet up and watch TV.”
Claire stepped back in turn and looked at the room critically. “Oh, what if we leave it arranged like this, but instead of putting the TV above the mantel, we put it on that wall across from the sofa? That way, it’s at a better angle for a three-year-old, too.”
“Spoken like a true mom,” Jordan said, from one of the stools at the kitchen island. At thirty-seven weeks pregnant, she’d been banned from moving furniture. She didn’t look up from her texting. “I think I might have something that will work as a TV table in the attic. Claire’s attic, I mean.”
“What if you get rid of that blue velvet couch altogether? That thing is an eyesore.” Latham screwed in the last anchor for the baby gate and stepped back to make sure it closed.
“No” came the simultaneous response from the women. Jules laughed.
“It’s tradition,” Wynn said. “The blue couch stays. Okay, so let’s think about this. When Joe had the cabin, it was decorated by a twelve-year-old. When Jordan moved in, she was too busy to redecorate, so the vibe was shabby chic.”
Jordan looked up from her phone. “Ouch. At least I painted over Joe’s awful paint job.”
“Very true. Sorry.” Wynn gestured to the stairs. “I added the loft and went with farmhouse industrial, which is when the walls were painted white. I think the walls can stay white, but what’s going to be the vibe for Kiera?”
Claire dropped into one of the new chairs. “She works so hard. I think we should make her home kind of funky and fun. So let’s use the rug with the multicolored geometric pattern.”
“Perfect.” Jules dragged the rug with the bright design into the center of the room and unrolled it. “I love it with the blue couch.”
The door opened and Joe came in with a library table. “I believe the pregnant lady requested this?”
Claire pointed to the blank space on the wall opposite the couch. “Right there.” She stepped back to take a look as Joe muscled it into place. “Perfect. Thanks, honey.”
“Anytime, babe.” He tugged her to him and kissed her nose. “Mrs. Matthews just got here to keep the kids, so I’m gonna play some basketball. Latham, you coming?”
Latham didn’t even look at Wynn, just packed up his tools and followed Joe to the door, where they were both intercepted by Claire. “Basketball first, but then I need you to bring Kiera’s bed down from the main house, along with Kendra’s toddler bed.”
Jules smothered a smile as she flipped through some large unframed canvases that Wynn had brought down from her loft studio. She turned one around. “Wynn, what’s this?”
Her sister, wearing denim overalls rolled up to her ankles and paint-splattered tennis shoes, walked closer. “Oh, I did that with the kids one afternoon. I sketched in the tree and they made the leaves with their hands, which explains all the crazy colors.”
“Can we put this one over the fireplace?”
“Absolutely.” Wynn picked it up and placed it on the mantel, then added a plant on one side and some chunky candlesticks on the other.
With the furniture in place and the mantel looking like it belonged in a real home, Claire turned to Wynn. “You think there’s st
ill any ice cream in that freezer?”
“It’s kind of a necessity, so yeah. I’m pretty sure I put some in there last week when I was upstairs packing up the studio.”
Jordan pulled the half-gallon container of rocky road out of the freezer and set it on the counter with a clunk. Four spoons from the drawer followed.
“We probably have an hour before Joe gets back down here with the beds.” Claire pried off the lid. “So let’s go over the rules. What we talk about in ice-cream time stays between us. We spill our secrets and then we feel better.”
Jordan nodded. “Right. So, Jules...”
“What?” Jules looked up from the tub of ice cream, her full spoon in her hand, and squeaked, “Me?”
“Yeah. It’s your turn.” Jordan gazed directly into her eyes. “Gotta ask the big question first—have you told Cam you’re in love with him?”
“Claire!” Jules shot a look at her sister-in-law who’d clearly spilled the beans.
Claire held up her hands. “I didn’t say a word. I didn’t have to, Jules. Everyone can see how you look at him, but...we can also see you’re not happy with the way things are.”
“So what’s the problem?” Jordan took a huge bite of ice cream and talked around it. “You got married for the girls, I assume.”
Jules shook her head. This afternoon was not turning out the way she’d anticipated. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
Wynn stuck her spoon into the tub of rocky road. “None of us had an easy road to love. If we had, we wouldn’t be eating ice cream all the time.”
Jules looked from one woman to the next, searching for—what—maybe an out? She put her spoon down and buried her face in her hands. She could almost feel their stares.
But the truth was, she didn’t need an out, she needed them. Trying to keep everything to herself was terrible. And it wasn’t working.
She lifted her head. “I freaked out when I heard Glory and Cam’s mom filed for custody of the girls. The judge supposedly favors biological family and two-parent families, and I figured if I could get Cam to marry me, it would kill two birds with one stone. Essentially, I got married to change my demographic.”
Jordan put her spoon down and it clanged on the granite countertop. “A marriage of convenience?”
“You could call it that, except it’s been pretty much anything but convenient. Especially not the part where I fell in love with—” She stopped midsentence.
Maybe her feelings weren’t real; maybe it was just the situation. She normally didn’t rush into decisions. There was just so much emotion inherent in this whole thing they were doing.
Because if it was true that she was in love with Cam, she had no idea what to do.
“If you’re in love with him, what’s the problem?” Jordan, her mouth full again, gestured with her spoon.
Jules scratched her forehead. How did she even put this into words? “We have this perfect life on the outside. He’s gorgeous and smart—”
“And rich,” Wynn interjected.
Jules shot her sister a look. “He’s made a successful life. But he had such an awful childhood. I think he feels like he’s not capable of love or worthy of it, maybe? I think that’s why he travels all the time. About the time he has to trust someone, he leaves.”
“Oh, Jules.” Claire covered Jules’s hand with hers. “Do you think he’s going to leave you and the girls?”
“I don’t know.” Jules’s eyes filled with tears and she fought to get the words out. “He wants a family. He wants to stay in town. I know that. His mother just...really broke something inside him.”
“You have to tell him how you feel.” Wynn straightened.
“No...”
“No, she’s right, Jules. If you love him, you have to tell him.” Jordan dug her spoon into the ice cream again. “He needs it.”
“He’s not a project. I can’t fix him.” And what if he rejected her? Because that was Jules’s biggest fear. That she’d tell him she loved him and he would leave.
“Jules, there’s something you need to know. Love stinks.” Jordan said it matter-of-factly.
Wynn nearly spit out her ice cream as she burst out laughing. “This is encouraging?”
“It’s not all roses and unicorns, Wynn,” Jordan continued. “But it’s worth it.” She turned back to Jules. “You’ve got to lay it out there so that he knows you aren’t like his mom. You aren’t like other people who failed him. You can’t fix him, but you can love him. It’s the only way you have a chance—the only way he has a chance.”
“It’s just so complicated.” At Jordan’s huffy sigh, Jules relented. “I’ll think about it, okay?” She took another bite of ice cream. “I thought this ritual was supposed to make you feel better. I feel awful.”
She laid her spoon on the counter and sat back, barely listening as the conversation went on around her. She wanted Cam to know she loved him, but after their last relationship talk, she was so scared.
If she told him, it would mean leaping without first knowing what was going to happen, which was something she did not ever do. She was a planner, a perfectionist. This was well established. Telling Cameron she loved him would be the biggest jump she’d ever taken.
A jump without a safety net.
Chapter Fifteen
Cam tiptoed out of the girls’ bedroom. They were finally—finally—both asleep. Eleanor had pulled out every trick in the book, from needing water to wanting him to witness her newly acquired flipping trick to needing to go to the bathroom...three times.
He snagged the baby monitor off the counter in the kitchen and went in search of Jules. He could see her silhouette as she sat in one of the Adirondack chairs on the back deck beside the fire pit, the fire sending sparks like fireflies into the sky. As he got closer, he couldn’t help it—he had to skim a hand over the silky sheen of her blond hair. “Hi.”
Jules looked up at him. “I was hoping you’d join me.”
“Eleanor decided to make Custer’s last stand. It was a hard-fought battle, but alas, she was overcome.” He poked the fire and added another log before dropping into the chair beside her. “What are you thinking about out here alone in the dark?”
She stayed silent for a long few seconds, a variety of emotions flickering across her face with the firelight, then took a deep breath and said, “Did you know that I’m extremely opposed to taking risks?”
He gave her a quizzical look. “May I remind you that we eloped barely thirty-six hours after having met as adults?”
She laughed. “That would seem to disprove my point, but no.”
Cam tried again. “What about the Hilltop? Aren’t you taking a huge risk reimagining the café?”
She tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes. “You’d think. But the truth is I wouldn’t have had the courage to do that without you.”
He glanced at her in surprise. “Jules, I just helped you figure out what you wanted to do.”
“Exactly.” She looked down, picking at the seams of the quilt she had wrapped around her. “Also, I’ve always been the peacemaker in the family. I don’t like when people don’t get along. Like, I bet you didn’t know that I despise the name Jules.”
“What? Now I know you’re exaggerating.”
“Abhor it. I only like Juliet marginally better.”
He sat in silence for a minute, staring into the fire. “So that’s why Eleanor was calling you Aunt Lili?”
“Glory was the only person I told how much I hated my name. She hated hers, too, back then. When we were eleven or twelve, we made a list of about forty options for each of us, but Lili was the only one for me that stuck. Eleanor adopted the nickname as an infant.”
“I’m stunned.”
Jules flashed him a grin. “It’s shocking. I know. But even baking... I love it, don’t get me wrong...but ther
e’s nothing edgy about it. Cake makes people happy.”
“Huh.” This wasn’t the conversation he was expecting to have tonight. He studied Jules’s—Juliet’s—face.
She turned toward him then. “I say all that so that when I say this next thing, you’ll know it’s not something that comes easily to me.”
Cam felt a frisson of fear. This was the moment he’d been praying would never come, the moment when she told him that when the girls were safe, their sham of a marriage would be over. That she would have to move on with her life with the girls.
Without him.
She swallowed hard and he wanted to stop her before she started. He clenched his fist to keep from reaching out to her, to beg her not to say it. To give him another chance. He could do better, be better.
But instead, he waited, his eyes on hers.
“Jules—Juliet, whatever you want to say, it can’t be that bad.”
“It’s not. I thought it might be bad, but I was wrong. I mean, it’s not all roses and unicorns obviously...” She paused and looked down, a small, secret smile on her face, and he thought, She’s so beautiful and she doesn’t even know it.
She turned her gaze on him and he could see the reflection of the firelight in her eyes. “It’s just... I love you.”
His jaw dropped. Of all the things he’d expected to hear come out of her mouth, that wasn’t even in the top five. “What did you say?”
“I said I love you. I didn’t want to. It would be so much simpler if we just had an arrangement.” She lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug. “But, Cam, I’ve never met anyone like you.”
He blew out a laugh and looked up, to where the stars were pinpoints of light in a dark black sky. “That’s probably for the best.”
“No, I don’t think so. I know that’s how you see yourself, but it’s not how I see you. You’re gentle and loving with the girls, kind and generous with the kids at Red Hill Farm. Maybe you had to do some bad things to survive, but you did survive and you built yourself into this amazing, wonderful person.”
“Jules, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I wish what you’re saying was true, but it’s just not.”
The Marriage Bargain Page 13
