by Kitty Jones
“Are you going to dress me up in frilly dresses and spank me more?”
“Is that what you want?” He asks.
Yes.
Totally.
Absolutely.
Somehow, the idea of playing his little and just getting to obey him and follow his rules and do exactly what he wants just makes me feel...
Well, it makes me feel wonderful, and I really love that idea.
But admitting this is going to, once again, take guts.
“Yes,” I say. “I’d like to try that.”
“Do you have any plans this weekend?” He smiles.
“Just the club.”
“Would you like to come here before you head over?” He asks.
“Why?”
“I could dress you up and tease you before I take you to the club on Saturday.”
“As your date?”
“Yes.”
He waits patiently, and I consider the offer. I’ve never so much as taken a guy from the club home – much less brought one there as a date.
But Aaron is a good person, and he’s a full-fledged member now, and he’s pretty wonderful and fantastic in every other way.
Taking him would be making quite a statement in this world. It would be telling everyone that not only am I playing with him and him alone that night, but that I’m off the market for awhile. My friends will have questions for him and they’ll want to know why I didn’t tell them about him ahead of time, but those are things I can deal with.
So, is that what I want?
Do I want to be Aaron’s little doll?
Do I want to let him dress me up and take me to the club?
Kind of.
Totally.
Absolutely.
I nod, and I manage to answer him.
“Yes, Daddy. I’d like that very much.”
Chapter Twelve
Aaron
Mallory leaves and I collapse on the couch, spent.
Worn out.
So, tonight didn’t go the way I thought it would. In some ways, it went even better. She really opened up to me. At least, that’s how it feels, and that’s a really wonderful feeling.
I know I don’t deserve her.
There’s no question about that. She’s a kind, wonderful, and sweet person, and she’s got so much going for her. She’s gentle and caring, but she’s also been so very hurt in the past. I know there’s still a lot I don’t know about her, but damn if I don’t want to find out.
After she leaves, I curl up with Jiji and read a book late into the night. Then I finally fall asleep. When I wake up, the sun is streaming into the living room. Somehow, after hanging out with sweet Mallory, I slept part of the day away.
I’m not sure how I managed to do that, but I did.
“Well, Jiji,” I pet my little kitty. “I guess she’s good for me.”
He meows in response.
After a quick glass of water, I change into running clothes and take off on a jog. I want to run partly to clear my head, but partly to stay in shape. Endurance is important to me and so is staying healthy. No matter what I’m going through, I want to make sure that I’m ready for anything.
Music blares in my earphones as I jog down my road and around to a local trail. One of the best things about my home’s location is that I’m only minutes from several hiking trails where I can lose myself in the depths of the forest.
Sometimes, it’s nice to be alone.
Really alone.
My feet pound against the pavement as I move and soon I’m sweating, but I’m not thinking about the workout.
I’m just thinking about her.
How can I take care of her?
What can I do for her?
Mallory has been through so much, and I want her to know that she’s important and valuable to me. I want her to know that more than anything else, I care about her as a person. She needs to know that I care about her and that I want her to be happy.
Coming back has been...well, it’s been an experience. That’s putting it lightly. I might not have known what to expect, but, well, being around her has been eye-opening in the very best way.
Finally, once I’m drenched in sweat, I turn and run back home. I hurry inside, shower, and get dressed. Then I check the clock. I’m supposed to meet Everest for lunch, and I’ve got plenty of time. The restaurant we’re meeting at is down the road, so I skip the car and just walk.
My legs are sore and achy as I make my way to the restaurant, but it’s a good kind of sore. When I walk inside, I’m pleased to find that he and Brooke, his wife, are already seated.
“Hey,” I slide into the booth across from the couple.
“You made it,” Everest smiles.
“Nice to see you again,” Brooke adds.
“You too,” I grin. Everest and Brooke look comfortable together. He’s got his arm slouched over hers, and she’s nestled up against him.
Happy.
They look happy.
A waiter comes by and drops off our menus along with three glasses of water. Everest orders a soda for Brooke and one for himself, but I’m happy to stick to water. Once he’s gone, I look over at them.
“How was your weekend?” I ask.
Everest laughs and looks over at Brooke.
“What do you think?” He grins. “Should we tell him?”
Brooke blushes, but nods.
Everest smiles and turns back to me.
“We spent last night at the club,” he says. “Brooke and I did a full-on role play scene.”
“What kind of scene?”
“Teacher versus student,” Brooke grins. She’s still blushing, but she looks happy.
“Sounds like something out of a movie,” I grin, winking at them.
“It was incredible,” Everest says. “If there’s enough interest, I may start opening up one of the side stages for role play scenes in the future.”
“Did a lot of people watch?”
“More than we expected,” Brooke says, looking over at Everest.
“We both thought there might be a few people who were curious about what was happening, but there were just so many,” he says. “I didn’t see Mallory there,” he adds, sipping his water.
Just then, the waiter reappears to take our order. I didn’t even look at the menu, so I just order whatever the day’s special is, and Brooke and Everest do the same. Once we’re alone, I look back at them.
“She was with me.”
“I told you,” Brooke laughs and shakes her head. “I told him,” she says to me, as though she’s sharing something private and silly. “I said that the two of you were definitely spending time together.”
“How did it go?” Everest asks. He’s not asking to be crass. It’s obvious that he really cares about Mallory. If anything, I’d say he’s asking to make sure I didn’t fuck it all up, which I hope I didn’t.
“It was wonderful,” I say. “Without going into personal details, we had a nice time together.”
“Good,” Everest says. “Sometimes I worry about her.”
“You do?” I ask. That raises a few alarm bells, but nothing too serious. It’s normal for friends to worry about other friends, right?
Brooke and Everest exchange glances.
“What? What am I missing?”
“It’s just that Mallory is very careful about who she...plays with,” Everest says.
“I know she hasn’t had a partner in a long time,” I say. “And that doesn’t bother me. We’re not rushing into anything.”
“I don’t think you understand what Everest is saying,” Brooke tells me. “Mallory doesn’t have partners...ever.”
“What do you mean? I saw her at the club with a Dom the other night.”
“That was Taylor,” Everest says. “Mallory plays with him while his partner is recovering, but when Hank is in normal shape, they don’t usually share. Mallory is their friend, and she was happy to participate in scenes with them, but Hank and Taylor are defini
tely gay. They have no romantic interest in Mallory.”
“I assumed there was something more there,” I say. “Or that they’ve played together in the past.”
“Mallory is very picky,” Brooke says, and I can tell she’s trying to be very careful. She doesn’t want to say or do anything that might make her friend feel betrayed, and I respect that.
But I’d also like to know what it is they aren’t saying.
Then it hits me.
“Are you saying that she never takes home anyone from the club?”
“Never,” Everest says.
“And are you telling me that she’s never had a boyfriend in the time you’ve known her?”
“Never.”
“Girlfriend?”
“No.”
“So she’s been single as long as you’ve known her.”
“Yes.”
“Why?” I ask, shaking my head.
Perhaps more importantly, why didn’t she tell me this? She made it sound as though it had been awhile since she’d been with anyone, but I assumed she’d still been active with people at the club. If she hasn’t, and she only plays sexually with people she’s romantically involved in, then that changes things a little.
I’ll need to be even more careful and gentle with her to make sure that she feels appreciated, respected, and loved.
Perhaps more importantly, I’ll need to make sure that I’m not doing anything that makes her feel like she’s not being valued.
“I have no idea,” Everest says. “It’s not for lack of offers. She’s beautiful, and she’s funny.”
“And she’s kind,” Brooke adds. “We all notice how kind she is. She used to babysit for us, and she was always doing extra special little things for us.”
“Things like laundry, vacuuming, and the dishes,” Everest shakes his head. “Once the kids were tucked in bed, she’d clean the whole damn house.”
“I miss having her around,” Brooke says with a sigh.
“She stopped babysitting once we invited her to the club,” Everest explains. “We felt it would be best to go with someone who doesn’t know where we get off to.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I say. “Plus, this way, there’s no conflict when she wants to go to the club on an event night rather than babysitting.”
“Exactly,” Brooke agrees. “Our new sitter knows we run a club, but she doesn’t know which one or where it is, or what type of club it is. We’re all happy with the arrangement.”
“It sounds like Mallory was great with the kids, though,” I say.
The food arrives then, and the server asks if he can get us anything else. Brooke and Everest each order a second soda, and I order coffee. Then we start in on our food.
I try not to lose myself too much in my thoughts. It’s harder than it sounds, though. It would be easy to get swept away in a daydream about her. I have so many questions about Mallory and if I’m not careful, I’m going to spend all of my time thinking about her and not about work or my other responsibilities.
“You’re really crazy about her, aren’t you?” Everest asks.
“I am,” I say.
“Oh, you Doms,” Brooke grins. “That’s my favorite thing about you: the brazen honesty.”
“Honesty has a lot of perks,” Everest says.
“You know, I’ve been in the lifestyle so long, that I can’t imagine living my life any other way,” I tell them. “And beating around the bush or dancing around what I really want just sounds terrible.”
They both know I’d like to find someone to settle down with: someone to love. Like Everest, I want someone I can take care of and pamper and worship. I want someone I can love and cuddle and treat with kindness and wonder.
I don’t want someone to tie up and beat. Yeah, those things can be fun, but long-term? I want someone like Mallory.
No, I don’t want someone like her.
I just want her.
“So you’re going to ask her to be your subbie, are you?” Everest asks.
“I don’t know. Things with Mallory are complicated.”
“Things with anyone are complicated,” Brooke says.
“True, but Mal and I have a history.”
“You just have to ask yourself if the pain of your history is stronger than the beauty of your future,” Everest says. He reaches for one of his fries and takes a bite, as though he didn’t just give me the best fucking advice I’ve ever heard.
He’s right.
Fuck.
He’s totally, completely right.
Is the hurt in our shared past stronger than the love and beauty we could share in the future?
I don’t think so, and I think I know what I need to do.
“Consider this a request for one of your private rooms on Friday,” I tell Everest suddenly. The club has a number of private play spaces that people can use. There are themed rooms and normal rooms and anything you could possibly imagine, and I’ve got an idea.
“What?” He asks-.
“A room,” I say. “Not just any room. I want the playroom. Friday night.”
I drop a wad of cash on the table and grin.
“Lunch is on me. I’ve got a little to catch.”
I scurry out of the restaurant and don’t bother looking back to see what their faces look like. I’m sure they’re both shocked and a little surprised about the fact that I totally just took off, but I meant what I said.
Mallory is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I screwed things up between us in the past.
I’m not going to let that define me, though.
I’m not going to let that define us.
The future is bright for me and Mal.
The future is ours.
Chapter Thirteen
Mallory
“Dish,” Tabitha finds me on my lunch break Monday morning and demands information. “I want to know everything.” She slides into the seat next to me. The break room is empty, save for me and my turkey-and-cheese sandwich.
“What?” I ask innocently, blinking at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t be like that. Did you fuck him?”
I laugh and take a bite of my sandwich.
“No,” I say, shaking my head.
“Why not?” She asks.
“It wasn’t like that.”
“So you didn’t go to some guy’s house to fool around?”
“No.”
“Okay,” Tabitha leans forward and props her elbows on the table. She rests her chin in her hands and looks at me. “Then what happened?”
Everything.
Everything happened.
I try to think of a way to tell her eloquently, but somehow, I just blurt it out.
“He spanked me and made me cry and I told him about Matthew.”
Instantly, I clap a hand over my mouth. What the fuck is wrong with me? I seriously just told her all of that. It didn’t even take a lot of prompting.
“I fucking knew it,” she laughs, shaking her head. “You like him.”
“No.”
“Yeah, you do.” She reaches for her lunchbox and pulls out her own sandwich. The school serves a hot lunch, but Tabitha and I both pack our stuff from home. We’re both trying to save money and eat healthier. Packing a lunch is the easiest way to accomplish both of those things.
“Maybe.”
“Definitely,” she pulls out her carrot sticks and starts eating one. “So, did you talk?”
“A lot.”
“About your brother?”
“Yeah.”
“And do you feel better?”
“Honestly? A little.”
“Good.”
“It doesn’t make any sense, though.”
“Of course it makes sense,” Tabitha looks at me. “Matthew was everything to you. You felt like you’d lost not only him, but his best friend, too. I mean, he and Aaron were pretty close, from what you told me. It makes sense that he’s the one person who can help you hea
l.”
“We talked about what happened before, too.”
“With the kiss?”
“Yeah.”
“And what did he say?”
“I guess he didn’t realize how much it had impacted me.”
“Kids are dumb,” Tabitha says. “No offense to you, and no offense to him, and definitely no offense to any of our students, but being a teenager sucks, and it’s hard. We all made mistakes at that age, Mal.”
“You’re right,” I agree. “And there’s a part of me that feels like I may have, you know, missed out on a lot.”
“How so?”
“It’s kind of hard to admit out loud. I guess I just feel like maybe I fucked up by not talking about all of this stuff sooner.”
“Probably,” she says. “But sometimes it takes a lot of personal growth to open up, and it sounds like you were pretty brave with him.”
I like the fact that Tabitha is honest with me.
She doesn’t sugarcoat anything.
She doesn’t tell me that everything would have been the same no matter what. If I had talked to Aaron years ago, I could have mended our relationship. I could have spent the last few years with a friend instead of feeling like I was lost and alone and drowning.
Now I have him, though.
Sort of.
“Something’s still holding you back,” she says.
“I think he wants to be in a relationship with me.”
“Is that something you also want?” She dips her carrot in a little ranch cup and takes a bite. It crunches loudly, and the sound seems to echo because it’s so strangely silent in the break room.
Is it?
It is something I want?
Kind of.
Maybe.
Absolutely.
But I’m not under the impression that the Daddy Dom thing is going to be exclusive of sex, and, well, I’ve never done that.
“I have a problem,” I tell her. “With sex.”
“Like you have an STD?” She asks.
“No...like...”
Should I tell her?
I should tell her.
If there’s one thing I realized over the weekend, it was that keeping secrets and holding back doesn’t usually work out for the best. I should definitely tell her. Who knows? Maybe she’ll have an idea for how I can deal with my problem.
“What?” Tabitha asks.
