“What about location magic?” Nathen asked. “We could use Roger’s blood to find her.”
“That might work...I’m not sure. Even if we can find her location, the only way of travel on Sidhe is by foot. The terrain is harsh, the weather is horrible and the snow beats run wild,” Emerlee said.
“How did Desmorelda get there?” Ben asked.
“She probably opened a portal.”
“Can we open a portal?” I asked.
Emerlee shook her head, “It’s not worth using the fairies energy. Desmorelda will certainly use her magic to prevent a portal being opened anywhere near her location.”
“Then how can we use location magic?” I asked.
“It’s different,” Emerlee said, “Location magic is hard to turn off. She may be able to throw us off some, but the magic should still guide us nearby her location.”
Everyone nodded their heads, but silence grew within our group.
Nathen spoke first. He looked at Ben and said, “Ben, I know he isn’t my grandson by blood, but I love that boy, and I will go with you if you want to take this journey.”
Emerlee spoke next, “I will go. I have heard Desmorelda describe her cabin, and I may be able to help you find it.”
I nodded my head and said, “Someone will need to stay and keep the castle running. I know Damon won’t stay behind.”
“I will speak with Elona and Sadie,” Emerlee said. “I’m sure they can handle things around here.”
I nodded my head and looked at Vic, “I need you to stay here and ensure this castle is safe. I want you to personally look after Luke.”
He nodded his head, “Of course.”
I looked towards Brandon, “You need to stay with your children. Can you help run things here and keep everyone safe”
“Yes, of course,” he said.
Then Nathen spoke up, “I will speak with Delia and your parents and see if they will take this journey.”
“Thank you Nathen. I would like one of Luke’s grandparents to stay here with him...just in case—”
“I understand,” he said before I could say anymore.
“Emerlee,” I said, “Can you check on the weather? See if and when it is safe for travel.”
“Yes, I will let you know,” she replied.
Then I said, “Can someone let Damon know what’s going on?”
“I will talk to him,” Ben said.
I smiled, “Thank you.”
I lay in the infirmary bed as the others went off to plan the journey. I wanted to help, but I was exhausted from lack of sleep and worn down from the magic. It only took moments before I drifted off to sleep. When I opened my eyes, it felt as if I had been asleep for several hours. As soon as my eyes were open, I quickly sat up. My body was sore, and I grasped my stomach in pain.
“Are you okay Miranda?”
I looked to my left and saw Ben was sitting by my side.
“How long have you been there?” I asked.
“A few hours. I have been so worried about you.”
“What is going on? Are we going to get Benny?” I quickly asked.
“You and Damon need to rest a bit more,” he said. “Your mom is going to stay with Luke. Delia said she would go with us, and she needs to rest as well.”
I nodded my head, “What about the weather? When will it be safe for travel?”
Ben looked upset and said, “Emerlee said there’s a blizzard underway. We won’t be able to leave for two days.”
“Two days!” I cried, “She will kill Benny before we can even get to him!”
“Miranda, there’s nothing we can do. If we go now, we’ll surely die. This is going to be a rough journey as it is.”
I looked down and felt a tear fall from my eye. “I don’t know what to do Ben...my baby...he’s my baby,” I cried.
“I know...I know,” he said as he reached out and grabbed my hand. He gently leaned down and kissed my forehead. I felt warm sparks ignite from within, the moment his lips touched my skin, and I trembled from the sensation. As he pulled away he squeezed my hand.
Suddenly I heard footsteps coming from the right side, and Ben quickly pulled his hand away. I wrinkled my forehead in confusion as I turned towards the footsteps. As soon as I rolled over, I saw Damon heading my way. The moment he was by my side, he took my hand and kissed me on the lips.
“I have been so worried about you sweetheart.” Damon said. “Ben has been filling me in.” Damon looked towards Ben and gave him a kind smile.
“I will leave you two alone,” Ben said. “I’m going to check on Lexi.”
I nodded my head. As soon as Ben walked away Damon said, “That was nice of Ben to look out for you.” Then he said, “I’m feeling better now. Do you want me to help you back to our room.”
I tried to stand up, but I grasped my stomach in pain.
“Don’t worry about it. You stay put until you feel better.” Damon said, “I can go get Luke. I’m sure you miss him.”
I smiled and said, “That would be wonderful!”
As soon as Damon walked away and I was alone once more, I wished I had someone to keep my mind occupied. My heart hurt as I thought of my missing son. I couldn’t help to wonder if he was hurt or frightened, and the more my mind raced, the more my heart tore apart.
As my mind wondered from one horrible thought to the next, I felt as if my brain was twisting in circles and I was going insane. I suddenly felt tears begin to fall from my eyes. The more I allowed the tears to fall, the more pain I felt. I tried to rub the tears away as I took a deep breath, but a sob burst from my throat, and I began to shake in sadness. I tried to breath, but nothing could stop the tears. As I breathed in, it felt as if I was being choked, and I started to panic as I gasped for help. I threw my hands to my throat and wheezed as I trembled in fear.
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder as their voice said, “Shhh, calm down. Shhhh, just breath.”
The hand felt familiar as a warming spark was sent down my spike. I trembled from the feeling, but continued to sob and wheeze for air.
As I continued to gasp, I looked up and saw the hand belonged to Ben. He quickly yelled, “Someone help!”
Seconds later, a healing fairy came to my side. She placed her hand on my shoulder and said a quick chant. Moments later, I felt as if I could breath again. As soon as I could catch my breath, I wiped the tears off my face as the healing fairy did a quick examination.
“You seem like you’re healing just fine,” she said. “I’m afraid your emotional distress has caused a panic attack.”
“So, I’m okay?” I asked.
“Physically yes...but I am afraid your mental state is not very good.”
I quickly settled down and stopped crying, “But I’ll be okay...right?”
The fairy looked at Ben, then she looked back at me. She paused before she said, “We can use magic to help keep you calm. I can use my healing powers, and your husband can use his tranquility...but I think you need to rest for the next few days...you have been through a lot and seen some horrible things.”
I nodded my head.
She gave me a kind smile and said, “Will you be okay for now?”
I nodded. As soon as she walked away, I looked at Ben and said, “I can’t rest Ben. I have to find our son.”
“We have two days. You can relax the next two days.”
“How can I relax, knowing that evil bitch has my sweet little boy? What do I do!”
“Your husband is a tranquility fairy. Go to him and let him calm you down. Relax and gather your strength. In two days we will journey through the mountains, and we will find our son.”
I nodded my head.
Ben took a seat and said, “I’m not leaving your side until Damon returns.”
Ben sat by my side as I tried to rest. As I shut my eyes, I reached out to take Ben’s hand. I needed to know I wasn’t alone. Ben gladly accepted my hand, and soon I drifted to sleep. I awoke not long after, when Ben quickly pulled his hand away. When
I opened my eyes, I saw Damon and my son standing above me. The moment I saw Luke’s sweet blue eyes, I smiled wide. As soon as I smiled, Luke’s eyes lit up.
“There’s Momma,” Damon said softly as he squeezed Luke and handed him to me.
I held Luke tight and felt complete bliss by the touch of my baby’s soft skin. After a horrifying day, there was nothing that could bring me more joy, then holding my beautiful son.
After a moment, I noticed Ben still standing by my side, so I said, “Ben this is my son Luke—Benny’s brother.”
Ben smiled and waved at baby Luke. Luke was instantly taken with Ben as if he could recognize that Ben shared blood with his older brother.
“Do you want to hold him?” I asked.
Ben looked torn and wasn’t sure what to say, but he didn’t want to be rude as he held out his arms. I placed my son in Ben’s arms, and his face instantly lit up. Luke and Ben smiled at one another and held an instant bond. Ben played with my son for a few moments as I watched in delight, but I soon noticed Damon seemed uncomfortable and even a bit jealous.
Ben sensed the jealousy and immediately handed Luke back to me. Ben smiled and said, “I’ll give you guys some space. I’ll be nearby if you need me.”
I nodded my head as he walked away. I spent the rest of the day sleeping off and on and playing with my son. By the evening, I was ready to head back to our suite.
Ben and Damon helped me to our suite and when we entered, Ben looked at the two of us and said, “Well, I’ll take my old room if that’s alright?”
“That’s fine,” Damon said.
I quickly butt in, “Ben, my parents are staying in the guest room, but we have a wonderful sofa. You can stay here, so you aren’t alone.”
“Oh no, I don’t want to invade,” Ben said.
“Oh I insist!” I cried. I couldn’t tell him the real reason I wanted him to stay, so I looked at him with desperation in my eyes. Ben and my son Luke were currently the only two who seemed able to help me forget the pain my son’s disappearance brought.
“Okay, I’ll stay.” Ben said quietly, but I could hear an uncomfortable tone in his voice.
“Ben, you can stay where you would like,” Damon interjected.
“No,” Ben said, “Miranda is right, I should stay here. I would feel better if I wasn’t alone.”
I knew Ben was only staying because he saw the desperation in my eyes.
“Goodnight Ben,” I said softly.
“Goodnight,” he replied. “Goodnight Damon.”
“Goodnight,” Damon said.
Damon and I headed to the bedroom. I cuddled into Damon’s arms as I shut my eyes, but as I drifted to sleep, Ben was the only thought in my mind. I slept for only a short while, but I awoke suddenly when the thought of Desmorelda with my son shot through my mind.
My eyes bolted open as I looked around the room, and my heart thundered in my chest. I looked over and realized Damon was sound asleep. I needed to see Ben. I quietly climbed from the bed and tiptoed out of the room. I placed my hand on the doorknob and twisted it as slowly as I could, trying not to wake my husband. When the door was open, I slowly closed it behind me and headed down the hall. Before I tiptoed to the family room, I stopped outside Benny’s door. I felt a tear in my eye as I stood in his doorway, looking into his dark and empty room.
I was just about to turn around, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped out of my skin as I quickly turned around to find myself face-to-face with Ben.
“Ben!” I cried softly. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispered, “I heard someone up.”
“I’m sorry if I woke you up...I just wanted to see you,” I said.
“I was already awake. I can’t sleep. Is everything okay?”
“Not really,” I said as I headed towards the family room. Ben followed close behind.
When we found our way to the dark family room, the two of us took a seat on the couch. I kept the lights off, as I didn’t want to alarm the others.
As soon as we were seated, I said, “Ben, I don’t know what to do?”
“What do you mean? You just have to get through one more day and we’re going after our son.”
“That’s not just it,” I said. “Brining you back has caused me so many twisted feelings.”
“But you’re married,” Ben said.
“But I never got over you!” I cried softly.
I could see a confused look on Ben’s face through the darkness, “Why did you get married then?”
“I love Damon,” I said looking down. Then I paused and looked at Ben through the darkness, “I never stopped loving you. I love you both. I guess...I just hoped one day I would get over my feelings for you. I never thought we would bring you back to life.”
“That makes sense,” he said quietly.
“What do I do? I love Damon...I love you. And Ben it isn’t just between the three of us. Damon raised Benny. They love each other...and Luke. But how can I be with Damon knowing you’re right here. And you’re Benny’s real father. I don't know what to do!” I felt tears in my eyes, as my emotions were completely raw.
“I don’t know what to tell you, but I think our number one priority right now should be getting our son back. We can sort...my place in everyone’s life later.”
“As tears fell from my eyes I said, “I don’t want to leave you. I just want you to hold me all night.”
Ben shook his head, “You’re married Miranda...to a good man. Go lay with him. Let him comfort you.”
“But he doesn’t,” I said, “not the way you do.”
Ben stared blankly into the darkness. I sat quietly by his side for a few moments before I couldn't hold back any longer. I turned towards Ben and moved my face through the darkness until I was staring him straight in the eyes. Then I shut my eyes and moved in until I felt his lips upon mine. Ben didn’t move, but he didn’t resist. I kissed him gently on the lips, but I didn’t pull away. I sat still for a few moments as I enjoyed the way his lips felt against mine. I breathed in, inhaling the smell of his fresh skin.
Finally after moments of sitting face-to-face with our lips pressed against one another, Ben pulled away, he said, “I’m sorry...I can’t do this Damon.”
I didn’t move. I wanted Ben so bad. It had been eight years since we had kissed and held one another. I just wanted to be in his arms once more. As much as I loved Damon, I couldn’t set my feelings aside for Ben. I felt more tears fall from my eyes as Ben had pushed me away.
“I’m not trying to upset you Miranda,” Ben said, “There are so many things happening right now. How can I look the man who raised my son in the eye if I sleep with his wife.”
I shook my head, but tears continued to fall from my eyes. Ben wrapped his arms around me and said, “Please don’t be upset. I can’t stand to see you hurting.”
“Just kiss me...just hold me,” I said through tears.
“If I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop,” Ben said.
Ben’s words caused me to want him even more. Through tears, I leaned towards him and kissed him on the lips once more despite his rejection. He didn’t refuse me as he pressed his lips against mine. We kissed harder for several moments as tears fell from my eyes. My emotions were running wild, as I never thought I would see Ben again.
After several moments of kissing, I began to pull off Ben’s shirt, as I could feel he was growing excited with passion.
“No,” Ben whispered, but he didn’t stop kissing me.
I didn’t listen as I pulled his shirt completely from his body. His muscular chest was exactly the way I remembered, and the hole from the Desmorelda’s fury was gone. I pulled away for a moment and laid my head against his chest. I placed my ear on his heart as I heard the thumping in his chest. I smiled, as I knew Ben was truly alive. Ben wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tighter against him.
For moments I lay quiet, just listening to the sound of his life force be
ating in his chest. Finally I lifted my head and kissed his lips once more as I pulled off his shorts. He seemed hesitant, but he helped me pull them off. When Ben was only in his underwear, I stood up and undressed myself as Ben gazed at my silhouette in the dark.
As soon as I was undressed, I reached down and pulled at Ben’s underwear. “We shouldn’t,” he whispered.
I didn’t say anything as I continued to tug on them, but they would not come off, as he was sitting on them.
“Ben,” I pleaded softly as I continued to tug. Finally he gave in and stood up, allowing me to pull his underwear completely off his body. As soon as he was undressed, I climbed atop his seated body and wrapped my legs around him. I gazed at his silhouette in the darkness and drank in every curve of his face. I could see the glow of his eyes staring at me in the most loving way. Finally I kissed him hard, and he pulled me in.
“We shouldn’t do this,” he whispered again.
I didn’t say a word as we began to quietly make love on my sofa. As our bodies collided, I felt sparks explode throughout my body, and I felt sensations I hadn’t felt in many years. For only a few moments, the sadness from our son’s disappearance drifted away.
When we finished, we collapsed onto the couch and held one another. The happiness only lasted moments and soon panic kicked in. I jumped up and threw on my clothes as I threw Ben’s shorts at him. Ben followed my lead as he jumped up and quickly dressed.
Suddenly I saw a shadow emerging from the hall. Ben quickly pulled on his shorts, collapsed on the couch and covered himself with a blanket. I smoothed my shirt as I leaned back against the wall as if nothing had happened. The living room light clicked, and Damon entered the room.
Chapter 7
“What’s going on?” Damon said as he rubbed his eyes and looked around the room as if he was half asleep.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I said quickly.
Damon looked at me. Then he looked at Ben and back at me. Damon didn’t say a word as he stared at me with untrusting eyes. I could see through his expression, that he suspected something happened. My heart pounded through my chest as Damon continued to stare into my eyes. I was just waiting for him to ask more questions, as I knew if he did, I would have to tell the truth. No one said a word. I quickly gazed at Ben and saw that he was sitting completely still. I knew he was just as nervous as I.
The Portal to Sidhe: Book 2 Page 7
