by Nicole Thorn
This went against the Starbursts he ate and the way he lounged against the chair. He raised an eyebrow at me. “Well, go on. Make some chaos. Tell me that siding with you over Argus wasn’t a bad idea.”
My heart finally started to slow down. “You… are an ass.”
Erebus laughed, tilting his head back against his seat. “An ass. No one has called me that in so long. Thank you for that, little seer.”
I wanted to punch him for calling me that. I wasn’t a seer anymore, I was a goddess, and I wanted the respect that I deserved.
“What are you doing here?” Jasper asked, eyes darting around. It wouldn’t take much for Erebus to turn this entire backyard into a black pit that we couldn’t escape even if we wanted to.
Erebus smiled at us, tossing a pink piece of candy into his mouth. He didn’t say anything until he had finished chewing. Yeah, just take your sweet time, making us want to run around screaming.
“I wanted to see if anything fun was happening yet,” Erebus said.
“What does that mean?” I asked, shifting my feet. “Is something… fun, supposed to happen?”
He got out of his chair, setting his bowl of candy aside. Juniper squeaked when he stepped toward us, pushing back against Verin, who had his arm around her. My sister hadn’t figured out yet that she was stronger than Verin now. She didn’t need his protection anymore.
“Don’t worry about it, yet,” Erebus said.
“No, I think I’m going to worry,” I said. “You know, considering everything that’s happened lately. And because I freaking died!”
“Are the gods doing something?” Jasper asked.
Erebus cocked his head one way and then the other, as if weighing something in his mind. “Those gods are always planning something. You should know that by now.”
“What are they—” I started to ask, but Erebus vanished before I could say anything else. My hand itched to slap him. I mean, yes, he was a primordial being and I was a baby god, but that didn’t mean he would kill me for doing what everyone around me wanted to do. They’d thank me!
I huffed out a breath, turning to Jasper. “I think my head is going to implode if someone doesn’t tell me what the hell is going on!”
He patted my shoulder. “The less we know, the better, probably.”
That actually made sense with the gods, but I didn’t like it. I didn’t like that the people safest were the ones that knew the least. It drove me crazy that we hadn’t gotten any closer to finding out why this war had started, what the gods had done about it, or why we had been dragged into the middle of it. I wanted answers that I’d never have, and it had started to really bother me.
I heard the door close inside and I shook my head. “No one say anything to Zander,” I said, looking at everyone around me. “He’ll blow it out of proportion.”
Juniper shifted. “You want us to hide something from a son of Aphrodite, who will absolutely know that we’re hiding something?”
“Yes,” I squeaked.
Juniper looked at Verin. He shrugged. “Guess we’re hiding out in our room for the rest of the day. Come, luv.”
Juniper jumped out of his grip and ran into the house, Verin on her tail, shouting after her.
Jasper shook his head, then turned to look at me. “You should probably tell him that Erebus was here.”
“Why?” I asked, shuffling my feet.
“Because if you don’t, it’ll hurt his feeling, and because you can’t hide everything from him.”
He’s right, some small part of me whispered. The rest of me shrugged it off. Zander would only get protective, and I didn’t need that. I could take care of myself. I’d been made into a goddess. Zander would still treat me like a lowly human, who couldn’t even tie her shoes without hurting her back.
“Jazzy…” Jasper said, shaking his head. “Please, just think about it?”
“Okay,” I said, though I had no intentions of doing that. I knew how to handle Zander. Everything would be fine.
Zander
S omething in the house made the back of my neck tingle when we walked inside. I shivered, images coming back to me too clearly. I’d walked into this house before to find Jasmine’s body. Right then, I told myself a million times it would never be like that again. I didn’t need to pay those images any mind, because it couldn’t happen that way again. They were gods, and their bodies wouldn’t break.
The house looked perfectly fine, so I let that hammer the point home. That, and how lightly Kizzy brushed her way into the house, proud as hell over the ugly lamp she’d scored for her husband. She thought he would get a kick out of the renaissance-esque style Cthulhu head destroying a boat. The thing was offensive to the eyes, but I had never seen a love start so instantly as when I saw her look at it. I had to teach her some better taste.
“You gonna ditch me now?” I asked Kizzy.
Her nose wrinkled from both guilt and probably some pity. “You make it sound so bad. Don’t you want to go off and play with Jasmine? I’m sure you have some wooing to destroy her with. Because for some reason, you haven’t caught on that wooing is meant to be fun and not a challenge.”
“Only if you do it wrong. The point is to show the person you love that you love them so hard, you’re willing to destroy their brains with romance.”
Kizzy cocked a hip, glowering with amusement. “I prefer to wreck Jasper’s brain with other things.”
I gagged. “Kiz, why do you hate me?”
“I love you, and that’s why I’m trying to encourage you to chill out a little with the full-blown tackles. What happens if you have babies and you’re still going this hard? You’re gonna make tiny weirdos.”
“Perfect.”
She smiled at me then. “Fine. I’m going to go show my new pride and joy off to my husband. If you hear stuff breaking, don’t get sad.”
I couldn’t help but get sad over the fact that my stupid hearing and powers made it so I knew when anyone in the house had sex. At least it didn’t hurt my big brother heart to hear Verin and Juniper going at it.
After she left me alone in the living room, I realized the house was too quiet. I couldn’t even hear talking or tomfoolery. No drums, no kiln, no scrubbing.
“Hmm…”
I’d promised that I would make Callie and the others some welcome home treats, so I thought I would get that done since everyone seemed to be scarce. I also thought the smell of fresh baked cookies could get Jasmine to come out of hiding.
It wasn’t until I’d gotten all the cookies rolled out that I started getting worried. By then, Jasmine would know I had come home. She didn’t bother coming to greet me, text me, or even set up an attack. I got nothing. As I put the cookies in the oven, I heard Juniper and Verin in their room. He’d been attempting to teach her how to play the drums, trying to make her hate it less. So, if everyone was home, why didn’t Jasmine want to see me?
My mother would have been surprised that I could have anything less than the highest self-esteem. Yet I still stood there and wondered what I had done wrong to make Jasmine avoid me. Everything had been fine for the last few days, so I shouldn’t have been worried. That didn’t matter.
I got all the cookies made and cooled, and still no Jasmine. I packed them up and decided that I didn’t want to spend time in a house where I wasn’t wanted. I left, not bothering to ask anyone if they wanted to come with me. The only person not busy with their partner, didn’t want to be busy with her partner.
Callie’s house felt weird to me as I rang the doorbell. It was the leftover echoes of the worst pain a person could feel, so much pain that it soaked into the land itself. It would eventually go away. Especially with new people living there and making better memories. But for now, it felt icky.
“Hey, Zander,” Aster said when he answered the door. “Callie and Micha took off to visit her parents. Were you here for Callie?”
“Nah, I wanted to give you guys some goodies. You all alone in there?”
; He shrugged. “I like being alone.” In a moment, it looked like he’d caught himself in a trap. His eyes went wide and panicked. “Not that I’m telling you to leave or anything. I don’t even know why I said that. I prefer it when Callie’s here. Again, not that I don’t want—”
I held a hand up. “Breathe,” I said, feeling his anxiety clawing at my chest.
“Sorry. Come in.”
I walked into the house, but his anxiety didn’t go away. I was responsible for that feeling. Not only by showing up but by not being there when he was younger and developing these problems. I could have made him more confident just by being there and letting him know that not everything he said needed to be taken back. Then again, it wasn’t like Kizzy had any confidence.
We went to the kitchen, where I set down a basket of cookies. I saw that Apollo really had set them up with the fancy shit. They got three couches, tables and enough chairs for all of us, and all sorts of other things that my own mom didn’t bother giving me. It must have felt like playing house, with these two seventeen-year-olds suddenly on their own. And they were only on their own because the gods decided to involve them in their messes.
“How have you been settling in?” I asked the nervous boy eyeing the cookies.
He reached for one, shrugging. “Okay so far. It’s interesting to not have my mom around. I haven’t talked to her since everything blew up.”
I’d only heard the bare facts about that, but I could feel the residual ickiness when the subject came up. Since I’d had my own recent blow up with my mom, at least I could relate to this.
“Are you going to try and work it out?” I asked.
“You think I should?”
That was a terrible question to ask a terrible person. In my head, parents could go fuck themselves. I’d yet to meet a single parent other than Gwen who’d been anything but selfish. Even Hades, who was the best godly parent of all the ones I’d seen, acted on selfish reasons. He’d made the seers immortal because the gods needed them. I couldn’t say for sure if I believed he would have done that if the war wasn’t coming. Same as the other gods.
“No. I don’t intend on trying to make it better with my mom. Sometimes it’s better to leave toxic people behind.”
I watched the boy thinking, and I wondered if I had said the wrong thing. Apollo had meant well, but he was just terrible at being a parent. If he’d managed to get Aster into that orphanage with Kizzy and I, that could have been his best act as a father. He didn’t do it though, and it left Aster to suffer at the hands of his mother. That would keep on hurting him for years, and it could have been avoided. It was best to just let parents go because they could only disappoint you in the end. Or worse.
Aster nibbled on his cookie, staring off into space. “I have other things to worry about anyway. Like making sure Callie is okay with everything going on lately. Becoming immortal and finding out about a war likely to kill a ton of people, it can make for sleepless nights.”
“Visions?”
“Mostly nightmares. We don’t know if they’re from the gods or just her being afraid. At least she can wake up with someone right there to talk to.”
I wished I had his trust in my own abilities to comfort the girl I loved. The problem also was that Jasmine didn’t let herself get comforted. She was too busy being sure nothing could touch her.
From what Aster said, I’d gleamed that nothing new had popped up for Callie. She acted as our warning beacon for bad things to come. If everything was fairly calm for her, then maybe it would have been all right if I relaxed. The gods threatened war, but when would that war start? Were we all terrified of something that wouldn’t happen for another year? Ten? It had only been a week.
“I should head back and check on Jasmine,” I said. “You sure you’re good here all alone?” I felt like I should have dragged him over to the house until the others got back. It would have been the brotherly thing to do, but I didn’t know the first thing about being a good brother.
“I should be okay,” Aster said. “I have a dresser to get sorted out anyway. It’s interesting, sharing a room with someone.” He scratched the back of his neck. “She walked in on me without pants on…”
I smiled. “Happens. It’ll start to feel less weird once you’re often without pants around her.”
“Probably. I keep walking in on her without pants too. Can’t say it’s unpleasant…”
I patted him on the shoulder, figuring I should probably take off. Even if Jasmine didn’t want to see me, I needed to find out anyway. I could have been paranoid, and that wouldn’t help anyone out.
When I got back home, Juniper was in the living room with Verin. He sat on the couch while she paced, speaking quietly on the phone to someone. She’d almost curled in on herself as she walked. Her aura hit me hard, a mix of guilt and bitterness.
“Sorry,” she said. “I would have let you know if I had any idea I should have.” A short pause. “No problem. You can call again if you have any questions. Thanks. You too.”
When she hung up, Verin reached out and tugged lightly on her shirt, getting her attention. “You all right, luv?”
She shrugged. “I don’t really know.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
They both looked at me with the exact same expression. It was ice cold, knowing, worried, and resigned. Juniper said, “That was a friend of my father.”
I felt colder. “Something happen?”
“Yeah,” Juniper said. “The guy just found out Dad… died. He wanted to know what happened, so I told him. Nothing major. Just… letting him know.”
A secret hung in the air like the echo of a fired cannon. A silent boom enveloped me as I tried not to look at the people who knew exactly what I’d done. Verin knew better than anyone else. It had been his hands that had killed the seers’ father, but my words that made him do it. No magic. No lies. Just the right truths to the right person and I knew what would happen. Verin had cared deeply about Juniper, even then. It didn’t take much to lead him on the path I’d wanted. And it worked according to plan, the most selfish thing I’d ever done. I didn’t want to be the one to kill Jasmine’s father, but I’d wanted him dead.
It felt like an illness, this secret inside of me. Verin had not known what I wanted, and I knew he’d told Juniper. Kizzy knew because Jasper knew. Only Jasmine was unaware of the truth of her own father’s death. Not that Verin did it. Not that I’d arranged it. It made me afraid.
“You okay?” I asked Juniper, though I could feel it myself.
She shrugged. “I don’t really know what I am. My dad is dead, and I keep getting all these reminders that he exists. I keep wondering when the next blow is about to come. Because it is. It always is.”
Verin pulled her back to him, his hands on her hips. “I’ll be here when it comes.”
She put her hand on his cheek, just looking at him for a few seconds. The moment was too private for me to not look away, and I thought it would be best if I dismissed myself. I left the two of them to give and get the kind of comforts my own love didn’t seem to need or want from me.
I went to my room, unsure if I would find Jasmine in there. Also unsure of what I would say once I found her. She’d been avoiding me. I just knew it. It made me want to run away at the same time I wanted to confront the problem.
When I opened the door, I saw her arranging dresses in the closet. She turned to me, a bright smile on her face before she charged to plow into me. Jasmine crashed into my body, leaping up into my arms and giving my face a dozen kisses.
“You’re back!” she said.
This… wasn’t what I had been expecting to come home to. It should have been awkward looks and broken eye contact. Instead, I had limbs wrapped around my body and lips on my neck. It distracted me, making me wonder why I had been worried in the first place.
“You… aren’t upset with me?” I asked.
Jasmine snorted as she pulled back to look at me. “What? Why would I be upset w
ith you? I haven’t seen you for half the day? Did you do something? Did you do something wooy that I haven’t found yet? You lovable bastard…”
Did my insane mind construct all of that then? All the bad feelings I got when I’d first walked back into the house? It must have been all made up if Jasmine could be so happy to see me. Nothing seemed wrong, and I didn’t want to look for problems that didn’t exist.
“No wooing,” I said. “I was making cookies for Callie and the boys. Have you been home the whole time?” I should have let it go and not risk my feelings getting hurt, but I couldn’t help it.
“Yeah, I was trying to fix the lamp situation…” She threw a look over to the standing lamp we used to have over by our bed. It had seen better days. Namely, days where it hadn’t been knocked over in the middle of one of our sessions. A lot of things broke when Jasmine and I got naked.
Something still felt off, making me wonder if Jasmine’s behavior mirrored how she actually felt. Would Jasmine really not come see me just because she was fixing some lamp we could have replaced next time we went to the store? I couldn’t say one way or the other.
It would have been a violation to dig into Jasmine’s emotions to see if she lied, and it wasn’t like her feelings on this were too obvious to ignore. Sometimes, I really couldn’t help but know something I had no right to. Here, I would have had to make an effort. I couldn’t do that to her.
Jasmine went back to kissing my neck, stopping the insecurities that I’d had when I came home. We could have for a nice afternoon if Jasmine was up for it. Maybe it would have been smarter to accept that the world wouldn’t come to an end tonight.
With everything that had happened, I felt like I couldn’t trust when things got quiet. Quiet meant something terrible waited on the other side of the door. That wasn’t true though, and I would spend the rest of my life afraid if I let this rule me. Kizzy and Jasper stopped letting the bad stuff rule them, so I could try and do that too.
“You sure everything is okay?” I asked. “I got really weird vibes when I walked into the house.”
