by River Ramsey
The ski lodge was every bit as remote and luxurious as the other students’ giddy chatter made it seem. The warm glow of the yellow lights inside was a stark contrast to the snowy forest surrounding the lodge as far as the eye could see.
The interior of the lodge was even more breathtaking. It had all the homespun charm of a remote cabin, but the high ceilings and circular corridor above made it feel like a luxury hotel. There was even a roaring fireplace several groups of students had already gathered around to make s’mores and gossip.
“This is gonna be so much fun,” Avery squealed once they’d signed in. “What should we do first? The spa is open until midnight, and there’s a buffet.”
“Sounds awesome. You should go check it out,” Ella told her. “I’ll take our stuff up to the room.”
“You aren’t coming?” Avery asked, frowning.
Ella hesitated. She hated to give in to her desire to retreat and isolate herself so early on the trip, but her most recent encounter with Sterling had shaken her more than she wanted to admit. At least, that was what she assumed was the cause of the nausea and general feeling of unwellness that had plagued her for most of the ride.
“I’m not feeling very well,” she confessed. “I’m just going to go to bed early so I’ll be up for the slopes tomorrow.”
“I’ll come with you,” said Avery.
Ella was touched by the offer. It was easy to see how excited Avery was about the trip, and she’d talked about nothing else for the last few days leading up to it. The last thing Ella wanted was to ruin it for her. “Please, go have fun,” she pleaded, giving her friend a hug. “We’ll do everything tomorrow. Promise.”
Avery watched her worriedly, frowning. “If you’re sure…”
“I’m positive,” Ella said, taking her bag from her. She definitely hadn’t packed light.
“Text me if you need anything,” Avery called, already walking over to join the others.
“I will,” Ella said, waving to her as she waited for the elevator.
Their room was on the very top floor, which came as a relief. There didn’t seem to be many others occupying the same level, and she could only assume it was because the teachers wanted to keep her as far from the others as possible.
She’d been given permission to go on the trip, but that didn’t mean anyone had forgotten her current “condition.”
The room was huge, easily big enough for four, and the balcony view was as breathtaking as she’d pictured. Ella was too exhausted to give it proper appreciation, so she slipped out of her shoes, crawled under the covers of one of the two queen beds, and tried to get some sleep.
It didn’t take long before she was dreaming, and the man who occupied her fantasies so often was just as prominent in her dreams. Her subconscious mind kept replaying her awkward encounter with Sterling on the bus, remixing it with every other moment that had left her cringing in his presence. As if she didn’t have enough to be embarrassed of in the waking world.
Ella awoke from a particularly unpleasant dream in a cold sweat. She stared up at the vaulted ceiling and its wooden beams, taking a moment to remember where she was.
The room was empty and as far as she could tell, Avery hadn’t come back yet. Either she had chosen to stay out late, or Ella hadn’t managed to get as much sleep as she’d hoped.
She climbed out of bed and walked out onto the balcony, hoping the cool air would help quell the feverishness that had come over her. She’d assumed the room was just hot, but when the feeling persisted outside in the chilled winter air, she began to wonder if it was something worse.
Ella looked down at her hands and realized her skin was flushed. She felt none of the telltale arousal that had plagued her when she’d first gone into heat, but there was too much angst burrowed in the pit of her stomach to feel anything of the sort anyway.
Could the suppressants be failing already? She went back into the room and searched through her bag. She’d brought an extra pack just in case, and took two with a bottle of water from the mini fridge for good measure.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Ella turned on the television and tried to focus on anything other than the ever-intensifying burn underneath her skin. She’d changed into a thin nightgown, but even that felt like a thick wool sweater.
Halfway through an hour-long game show she had no interest in and was barely able to pay attention to, she realized the suppressants were doing nothing.
“Shit,” she muttered, trying to stave off a fresh wave of panic. She was going into heat, and this time, it seemed nothing would stop it.
The doctor had insisted the suppressants would work. Why was this happening?
Not that the why mattered. She knew there was nothing she could do other than swallow her pride and find the dorm mother, hoping desperately that the older queen would have an idea as to how to proceed.
In the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but fear she knew exactly what had triggered the heat. Sterling’s presence, as distressing and inexplicable as it was, had flipped a switch inside her. They’d barely interacted, but a single glance from him seemed to be enough to unravel all her reason and resistance to the primal instincts that had her longing to fall into his arms.
Ella knew she had no other options, so she got dressed hastily and headed out into the hall to find the dorm mother’s room. The women were housed on separate floors, while the men had the bottom two, so at least she wouldn’t have to worry about running into any unruly toms. Though considering how agitation had replaced the arousal she’d felt before, she wouldn’t have minded having something to claw.
She’d barely made it halfway down the hall when she saw the man standing on the other end of it and froze.
Sterling. Was he everywhere?
When Ella locked eyes with him and felt the surge of heat beneath her skin, stronger than ever, she lost all traces of doubt that it was him who’d triggered it. The first time, and now. As much as she so obviously repelled him, it seemed that her very nature had placed him at its center.
Without words, the recognition of what was happening passed between them. She could see it in his eyes, only rather than the disgust she was expecting, she saw the same desire she’d convinced herself was nothing more than a hallucination.
She wanted to turn and run, before she could lose whatever shred of dignity she possessed, and she intended to, but her body wouldn’t obey her. Her movements were no longer her own, and she found herself trapped as if her feet had rooted in the wooden floorboards, helpless against his approach.
“Ella.”
Her name was a rough exclamation in his usually smooth voice. He stopped a short distance from her, not nearly enough to be safe, and looked her over in mingled concern and longing. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his gaze finally traveling back to her face. There was a predatory gleam in those eyes that made her shiver for all the wrong reasons, but it sat alongside unmistakable fear.
Fear of…her?
“It’s not fair,” Ella said, her voice cracking as she hugged herself, trying desperately to fight the heat rushing through her veins, threatening to burn out whatever reason and restraint was left within her. “You weren’t supposed to be here.”
She saw the confusion in his eyes as he frowned down at her, somehow closer than he’d been a moment ago. “I don’t understand. What are you--?”
“I saw the way you looked at me on the bus,” she answered, too overwhelmed by the force of every contradictory emotion running through her to back down or bite her tongue. That would have been the sensible thing to do, but they were well beyond that now. “All I wanted was to get away. I never meant to subject you to my presence,” she said bitterly.
His confusion only seemed to grow as he searched her face, as if he found her as mystifying as she did him. “What are you talking about?” he finally asked.
“Don’t patronize me,” she snapped. “You made it perfectly obvious you wanted nothing more to do with me tha
t day in the office, and I’ve tried to respect that. I have. You’re the one who wasn’t supposed to be here.”
For seconds that felt like eternity, he just stared at her in silence. She could no more guess what was going on in his mind than she could believe she’d actually spoken to him like that. Mouthing off to Axel was second nature now, but this was the man even the other teachers treaded lightly around, and she’d just called him out to his face.
She didn’t regret it, either.
“Is that what you think?” he finally asked, his voice low with something that rang of disappointment.
“What else am I supposed to think?” she challenged, suddenly doubting herself. He made her do that so easily and he wasn’t even trying. “You look at me like I have the plague or something.”
“That’s not true,” he said, taking a step closer. When his hand brushed against her elbow, she jolted, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away.
“Then what is it?” she demanded, sounding more desperate than angry. And she was. She felt like she was switching between people faster than she could blink, but every variation of her wanted to know the same thing. “Why?”
“Because you make it impossible,” he answered, his voice strained with a growl. It startled her, but the sound merely stoked the fire within her rather than inspiring the fear it once might have. It was the closest she had ever seen him to losing control in any capacity, and for once, the carefully crafted veneer that hid his true feelings was crumbling away before her.
“Impossible to what?” she asked breathlessly, incapable of blinking in the blinding glare of the intensity in his gaze.
“To resist,” he answered through gritted teeth, his fingers biting into her upper arms. When had he even grabbed them? She was so close to him she could feel his body heat through his clothes and her robe. It took all her willpower not to rub up against him like the lovesick fool she’d become in an instant.
Her mind still hadn’t processed his words, but other parts of her were far ahead.
“Why do you have to?” she asked, realizing she’d put her arms around him without realizing it, her fingers slipping into his ink-black locks. It was even smoother than she’d imagined, pure silk slipping through her fingertips. The tactile sensation made her shiver.
He clutched her harder to him, and she gasped as she felt his hard body up against hers, no room to doubt his arousal. “Because you deserve better,” he muttered, his voice still an animalistic growl that had grown hard with bitterness. Nonetheless, there was something gentle and familiar in his gaze that made her feel safe. “Better than me, better than either of those idiots, but I thought at least if I pushed you toward Axel, you’d be safe.”
“Axel?” she echoed in disbelief, thinking back to Axel’s uncharacteristically charming behavior as of late. At least, up to a point. “You… why?”
He just shook his head, refusing to answer her. For once, he wasn’t even looking her in the eye.
“I don’t understand,” she murmured. As much as her heart wanted to bask in the words he’d just spoken so reluctantly, her memory wasn’t that short. “At the party, you told me to leave. That I wasn’t good enough…”
He looked up sharply and the horror on his face made her second guess herself once more. “What?” he asked in disbelief. “I would never.”
“You did,” she protested, pushing away from him while she had the presence of mind. She wasn’t going to let herself slip back into the vulnerability that had almost crushed her last time. She wasn’t sure she’d survive it the next. “You told me I didn’t belong.”
She saw the recognition in his expression, but her guard remained up even as he cupped her face in his hands. “Ella,” he said, whispering her name like a prayer. The silken tone of it was dangerously close to unwinding the resistance she’d tried so desperately to form against him. “I meant what I said, but you don’t understand. You don’t belong in a place like Felidae, but it’s not because you aren’t good enough. It’s because you’re too good—too pure.” He tenderly stroked a snow-white strand behind her ear. “I was trying to protect you.”
His words reminded her of his obvious disdain for Bishop, and a trace of fear edged back into her mind. Bishop and the club, however, were still far from her thoughts. Even Axel. All she wanted was to focus on the man in front of her, and knowing that he wasn’t disgusted by her but rather trying to protect her for reasons she’d never even dared to imagine… it had unleashed the floodgates of relief, and before she could stop herself, she leaned up to brush her lips against his.
Sterling froze, a perfect statue in her embrace. His lips were so smooth and cool in comparison to the heat blazing under her skin, and when he began to return it, her head spun with bliss.
“Ella,” he breathed, his eyes glazed with lust as he looked down at her. “Please. You don’t understand what you do to me.”
His plea for mercy erased the last traces of the pain and uncertainty that had come so close to consuming her. She wanted nothing more than to do the same for him. She reached into her pocket, pulling out the tiny piece of metal that no longer felt like a heavy stone.
“Take it,” she said, placing it in his palm, folding his hand around it as she met his gaze. “Please.”
She could see the war going on in his mind as he searched her face, as if he didn’t believe her. “Are you sure?” he finally asked, his voice full of vulnerability Ella had never imagined he was capable of.
She leaned in and kissed him once again. This time, he pulled her into a crushing embrace and returned it with passion that was at once overwhelming and intoxicating. He left her breathless with the taste of him lingering on her tongue as he finally pulled away, his gaze dark with familiar desire. “Not here,” he murmured. “It isn’t safe. I need to take you somewhere.”
“Okay,” Ella said hoarsely. “But...what about the trip? Won’t they notice you’re gone?”
He paused, taking out his phone to glance down at it. “I’ll contact one of the other chaperones. Say it’s an urgent matter with Felidae. They won’t question it.”
“Right,” Ella murmured. As he walked away from her, she found herself wondering if it had all been some sort of fever dream.
Could all that really have just happened?
Chapter 17
Ella
Everything that had been set in motion the moment Ella had given Sterling a ring seemed to be a blur. She’d gathered her things and left a note for Avery explaining that she wouldn’t be back that night, and when she’d gone outside, Sterling was already waiting. She wasn’t sure how he’d procured the sleek black car at the curb, but she slipped in and found herself too awkward to speak much on the drive over.
All her confidence seemed to have fled her now that they were actually alone and all the cards were on the table. She couldn’t help but glance at his hand. The sight of the silver ring sitting on it filled her with a mixture of pride and disbelief.
What if he was only doing this out of pity? Or the fact that it wasn’t safe for an unmated queen in heat to be around so many other males. There was also the possibility that he was going to lose any interest he might have in her when it was all said and done. As elegant and refined as he was, he was still a tom.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, glancing over at her.
Ella quickly shook her head. “Just thinking.”
He seemed to accept the answer as he turned down an even more remote road. They were about half an hour away from the lodge, and Ella realized she probably should have felt nervous for different reasons, but she didn’t.
Before long, a cabin came into view. While it was smaller than the lodge, it was entirely private and the windows were aglow with the same inviting warmth. How he had arranged this on such short notice, she didn’t know, and was almost afraid to ask.
When Sterling parked in front of the cabin and got out, Ella stopped herself from reaching for the door. It was hard to get used to being trea
ted like a queen, but he was the last person she wanted to forget her manners around.
When he opened the door and she saw the gentle smile on his face as he offered a hand to help her out, her anxiety began to fade. His hand was so warm and strong, and his scent comforted her like nothing else.
She followed him into the cabin and realized it was much bigger than it looked from the outside. “This is beautiful,” she murmured, taking in the tasteful furnishings and the fireplace that served as the focal point for the great room.
There was a large canopy bed outfitted with deliciously soft-looking quilts and pillows, and Ella’s face grew warm at the thought of what its purpose was. As much as she longed to delve headfirst into the dizzying lust that claimed her whenever Sterling was near, she was even more keenly aware of her inexperience in his presence. There was still the wall of formality and station between them, and she couldn’t get his words out of her head.
You deserve better.
She had spent so long convinced he was impossibly out of her reach that the idea he might feel anything similar seemed utterly absurd. Kings would probably feel insecure in the man’s presence.
“I’m glad you like it,” he said, kneeling beside the fireplace. Ella watched as he placed a log in the hearth and struck a match to light it. The rich smell of woodsmoke filled her lungs, tantalizing in a different way.
“Who does it belong to?” she asked, exploring a bit more. There was a sizable kitchen and a loft above filled with bookshelves, as far as she could see.
“My family,” he answered. When he saw Ella’s look of surprise, he smiled. He’d done that more in the last few moments than he had the entire time she’d known him. He seemed more at ease in this place somehow, and she couldn’t help but relax as a result of it.
“We own several properties in the area,” he explained, standing to brush the log dust off his hands. “This happens to be one of them.”
