by Deja Voss
I don’t know where the alarm is coming from, but it’s so loud, my ears start to ring. I jump up from Lean’s bed and hurry up and pull my clothes on. I tiptoe out into the hallway, and stifle a laugh as a little boy in overalls runs past me, giggling his head off, carrying a fire extinguisher in his arms.
“Get back here ya little shit,” Lazarus yells as he chases after him.
The boy turns and blasts him with the hose, filling the hallway with white clouds of powder.
“What’s happening?” The wail of the alarm is so loud, I have to scream.
Lazarus puts his hands on his knees and begins coughing. “Somebody’s little darling thought it would be hilarious to pull the fire alarm.”
The little boy stands there, his face bright red from laughing so hard.
“Why is there a little kid running around here?” I ask.
“Cuz every time we go on lockdown this damn place turns into a Chuck E Cheez. These little baby bastards are out of control.”
I can tell Lazarus is way out of his element here. “Come here, sweetie,” I say to the boy, extending my hand. “Let’s go find your mom.”
As we walk down the hallway, the sound of voices grows louder and louder. I peek behind the swinging doors into the bar room, and it’s absolutely wall to wall packed. I stop in my tracks. There are men and women of all ages, most dressed in leather and ripped jeans.
“Well come on, miss,” the boy says, tugging at my hand. “I know where they keep the candy.”
I scan the crowd for familiar faces, but it wouldn’t make much of a difference. Giant groups of people terrify me, especially people I don’t know. I have no idea who any of these people are aside from the fact that they’re wearing the same cut as Lean. They probably all know who I am, though. The reason they’re on lockdown.
“Mani!” Gin shouts, waving her hands in the air from across the room. She gestures for me to join her at the booth she’s sitting at, but I shake my head no. Before I can turn and walk down the hallway to go back to my hideout, she’s already on her way over.
The screeching of the fire alarm stops, and everything seems way too quiet now. I realize all eyes in the room are on me, peering over the swinging doors.
“You all mind your own,” Gin says, turning to the crowd. “Mani’s one of us now. She doesn’t need yinz drooling all over her.”
“Hey,” I whisper, as she steps through the doors.
“Looks like you found Rowdy junior,” she says, picking up the boy in her arms and swinging him in the air.
“My name is Curtis,” he says, sticking his tongue out at her.
“Of course it is,” she says.
“Don’t let anybody tell you any differently, I’m kind of a big deal around here,” he says, winking at me. He’s the most adorable little thing I’ve ever seen, and now that she mentions it, he definitely resembles Rowdy in pretty much every possible way.
“Well, Mr. Big Deal, I think it’s time we got you some lunch. What do you think, Mani? You want to join us?” Her smile is so genuine, and something about how she’s so patient with Rowdy’s little wild child makes me feel comfortable. “Nobody’s gonna give you any shit, I promise.”
“If they do, I’ll give em a knuckle sandwich,” Curtis says, punching his fist up and down.
I reluctantly join her in the common area. I can feel the eyeballs on me, and I really wish my first introduction to all of Lean’s brothers was with him by my side, but the way Gin seems to own the room, head back, chest out, all smiles, makes me feel a little more confident.
She takes me and Curtis over to the booth, and I slide in next to a woman who looks old enough to be my grandmother.
“This is Margaret. She’s been an old lady since before any of us were born,” Gin says. “Margaret, this is Mani. This is Lean’s girl.”
She studies my face for a long minute before her eyes travel down my body.
“So you’re the reason why I have to miss bingo tonight,” she says with a hearty laugh.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t exactly know how to read her. The way she’s staring at me makes me really uncomfortable. She reaches out and touches my face, and I jump back a little bit.
“I’m sorry, I’m blind as a bat.” She taps on her eyeball and it makes a clinking sound. “These are just for show. I can take one out if you want to hold it.”
My jaw about drops to the floor.
“She must like you, Mani. Usually she doesn’t take her eyeballs out until at least the third date,” Gin teases.
“I wanna play with grandma’s eyeballs!” Curtis says, holding out his hands.
“Maybe after you eat a healthy lunch,” Margaret replies. “You wanna grow up big and strong like your dad, don’t you?”
“Grandma, I am my own man. And I’m gonna be a fire fighter when I grow up.”
“It’s all starting to make sense now,” I say with a laugh.
“I’ll go get you guys some food,” Gin offers. “You want a drink or something?”
“I’ll have a beer,” Margaret says.
“I was talking to Mani. You already have a beer, dear,” Gin says, sliding the bottle into Margaret’s hand.
“I also have two hands, Gin.”
She rolls her eyes and walks off, leaving me alone with Rowdy’s mom and son.
“Hear you’re not much of a talker,” Margaret says.
“I don’t have much to say. I don’t really get out much.”
“It’s what you don’t say that means the most. I can hear it in your voice. I can feel it radiating from you, girl.” She puts her hand on my forehead, like she’s checking me for a fever, and I don’t move. “You been fucked up pretty bad. This girl you are now, that ain’t you.”
I don’t even know what to say. I put my hand over hers, amazed by her perceptiveness. Me as a person is a concept I don’t really have the luxury to ruminate over anymore. Survival and love for my sister is the only thing my mind is capable of without cracking. It’s my spirit. It’s the only thing I want, and now Lean is off putting his life at risk to make sure it’s what I get.
I don’t know if I’ve ever really felt love from a man before, but I know I’ve never personally been in love. Not until now. I feel my face going flush, my head getting hotter.
“He’s a good guy, Mani. Underneath all the drama and the grunting and brooding, he’s a loyal man. Those are hard to come by these days. I bet he’s hung like a horse, too, if he’s anything like his father,” she says, cackling so hard, she makes herself cough.
I can’t help but laugh, too. I bet Margaret has been through some crazy things in her life. The fact that she’s still so happy and able to go with the flow makes me feel at peace with my decision to be here. These guys might be rough around the edges, but they certainly love more than anyone I’ve ever met. Already, it’s like I have more of a family than I ever did with Stefano and Catarina.
“I’m worried about him,” I say. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”
“You can’t underestimate the pain tolerance of a Royal Bastard,” she says. “Hurt is temporary. Loyalty is forever.”
“What kinda bullshit is she pumping you full of?” Gin asks, setting down a big platter of fruit, veggie pizza, cheese and crackers, and some brownies on the table in front of the three of us. She slides Margaret her beer, and hands me a water bottle from the pocket of her sweatpants. “She’s not scaring you off is she?”
“Not at all,” I say, and I sincerely mean it. She slides in the booth across from me, and starts picking at the food.
“Eat up, guys,” she says. “No brownies til you eat at least three green things, Curtis.”
He picks three little pieces of broccoli off the pizza and shoves them in his mouth. He’s obviously not her kid, but the way she cares for him is sweet and doting. I bet she’d be an awesome mother. I bet Ella would really like her, too.
I don’t hesitate to start wolfing down the food in front of me. I guess it’s a bad habit I
developed at the house because I never knew when I was going to get fed. I don’t even think I’m chewing at this point, but everything tastes so good, I can’t stop.
“There’s plenty more,” Gin says. “Lockdown time means we all eat and drink ourselves into a coma for as long as it takes.”
I sure hope it doesn’t take long at all. I feel personally responsible for this, and I’m sure everyone wants to get back to their normal ways of life, whatever that may be.
The front door swings open and I swear I’ve never seen so many people draw guns so fast.
“Oh my God, you guys are so dramatic,” a blonde woman says. “You need to find some better prospects. He said he was going to call you and tell you I was coming in.”
“Oh he did,” Rowdy says from behind the bar. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here, Destiny? Haven’t you caused enough drama for the week?
“Oh stop, clearly that was a misunderstanding,” she says as she slinks up to the bar, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I need to talk to Lean. Where is he?”
“Oh hell no,” Gin growls under her breath. She looks mad enough to kill as she grips the table in front of her. She cracks her neck and stands up, approaching the woman with her chest puffed out and fists clenched.
“Bitch, you tried to kill me. You have no business being here,” she says, pointing her finger in her face.
“Gin, don’t be like that. I was set up. You know it. It ain’t like that, babe. You’re my friend.”
“Destiny, you ain’t a friend of anybody here right now. You are nothing but a fucking rat, and if I were you, I’d get my ass gone before we let her at you,” Lazarus says. “You’re the one who started this whole mess to begin with.”
“Well, Lean didn’t have to strangle me and toss me in a closet. He’s no better than the maniacs who set me up. I can’t dance like this,” she says, showing off the bruises on her neck and wrists. My eyes grow wide and my stomach turns. Lean did that to her?
“That’s between you and him. And Bags. But Bags isn’t doing much talking anymore on account of your ass. You’re a fucking rat, Destiny,” Rowdy growls. “Get out of here.”
“Not until I talk to him. You know it’s complicated between us. Let me smooth it out. Where is he?”
I know I just met him. I know he has skeletons in his closet. I know I can’t expect him to have been a perfect angel before he met me, so I don’t know exactly where this jealousy is coming from in me. Maybe it’s because she’s so pretty, her blonde hair perfectly curled, her high heels showing off a set of muscular and curvy thighs, and her boobs so obviously fake and big and bouncy. She seems like the kind of woman who knows how to show a man a good time effortlessly. If her and Lean did have a relationship, I can’t see why he’d want anything to do with me.
Then there’s the whole strangling her and tossing her in a closet. If that’s the truth, how am I to believe anything he’s told me?
“It was nice meeting you,” I say to Margaret. “And you, too, Curtis.”
I’ve seen enough. I’ve heard enough. I stand up from the booth and sneak out of the room as quickly as possibly, hoping nobody notices me. I can’t believe I let myself get sucked up in this fantasy that the big bad sexy biker was so madly in love with me he wanted to save me and my sister from a life of hurt and abuse. I can’t believe I’m so freaking stupid.
I slam the bedroom door behind me and sit down on the floor, tears rolling down my face.
I wish I could turn back time. I wish I wasn’t this weak piece of crap who couldn’t take care of her sister or make a decision for herself - wish that I didn’t have to rely on anyone or anything to ‘take care of me,’ especially not a man who obviously has a history.
I wish I could just disappear.
“Mani, open the door,” Gin shouts from the other side. “You alright in there? I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“I’m fine,” I say through sobs, trying not to let on how shaken I am.
“Come back out here with us. She’s gone. I swear.”
I pull open the door just a crack, and she’s standing there with a friendly smile on her face. “Did he really hurt her?” I ask.
She cringes before running her fingers through her hair and sighing. “Lean would never put his hands on somebody if he wasn’t trying to protect his family. Destiny is an evil woman, Mani. She brought bad drugs into the club and gave them to me. She’s the reason why I overdosed the other night. If it wasn’t for Lean being the way he is, none of us dancers would be safe. There’s a reason why we like working for him, and it’s not because of the flexible hours and benefits package.”
I shrug and look down at the floor, not really sure what to make of all this. If he’s so strong and powerful and successful, why does he want anything to do with me?
“You’ll see, Mani. He’s not a bad guy. Honestly, I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to him. You smoothed him right out in a matter of two days.”
“At least I’m good for something,” I say.
“You really don’t give yourself enough credit, Mani. Now come out here with us. Everybody wants you around. I promise.”
“I’m a little overwhelmed,” I say. “I think I need to be alone.”
She gives me a hug. “Understandable. If you need anything, though, I’m just down the hall.”
She shuts the door behind me, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I’ve never been the best thing that ever happened to someone. Now, he’s out there putting his life in danger to try and save my sister. He’s the best thing that ever happened to us. Am I really strong enough to be the woman he needs me to be?
Chapter Sixteen
Lean:
I follow behind my dad in the van, making sure to keep a safe distance. We have the walkie talkies just in case, and I have a good idea of how the house is set up, but I have no idea what condition I’m going to find Ella in. It’s not like I’m an expert at sick kids by any stretch of the imagination, or even kids in general. Hell, Rowdy’s boy gives me a run for my money, and we only have him every other weekend.
There’s not a doubt in my mind I want to do this. For Mani, I would adopt as many kids as she wanted. I would adopt every dog in a shelter. Cats, too, and I fucking loathe cats. I just have a feeling getting Ella out of there isn’t going to be as easy we think it is.
He pulls right up to the gate of the mansion, but I keep my distance, parking on a side street. They let him right through, obviously expecting our arrival after the present they delivered this morning.
I hang out outside the parameter, leaning up against the van, listening for my dad’s cue. I don’t like him going in there by himself, but he’s heavily armed, and even these two idiots know better than to take out our president. Doing that would ensure nobody got what they wanted. In their mind, he’s got all the power. That coupled with his ability to charm the pants off anybody means hopefully whatever happens inside there today lands us with a little bit of leverage.
I can see him walking in the front door through the cracks in the ivy covered gate, and I wait for his cue.
I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye, and slowly walk closer to the fence, crouching low so nobody can see me. My heart breaks when I realize what I’m seeing. A little girl, thin and frail, is sitting in what looks like a contraption you’d put a dog in to leave it outside. It’s a wire enclosure that’s about six feet tall, and she sits in the middle with a pile of stuffed animals, talking to them as she digs in the dirt.
“Psst…” I say through the crack in the fence. “Psst.”
She looks up from what she’s doing, hugging her teddy bear to her chest.
“Ella,” I whisper. “Can you hear me? Is there anybody out here with you?”
She stands up and walks towards the edge of the enclosure. “Who’s there? Is that you, Stefano?”
“Hey,” I whisper. “I’m a friend of your sister’s. Mani? She wanted me to come here and
get you. You want to go see her?”
“My sister Cat says Mani ran away. She said she never wants to see me again. She said I’m ruining her career because I’m sick all the time and she has to take care of me.”
“It’s okay, Ella.” I need to figure out how I’m going to get in there and get her out without anybody noticing, but I’m fighting back the urge to just rush inside and personally shove Cat in a cage myself, maybe with a hungry bear. How this sick bitch has so much control over these two is enough to make me gag. “I promise Ella wants to see you. All you have to do is come with me. But you’re going to have to be really quiet.”
I look around for security cameras, knowing full well my every move is being watched. I can only hope my dad is serving as enough of a distraction as I climb the fence and hop over. As I approach the enclosure, the little girl’s eyes light up in what can only be described as terror. I guess I don’t exactly look like Mr. Rodgers. The fact that the only way I can think of getting this girl in my van is offering her candy makes me think I’m the exact opposite. I pull a bag of Skittles out of the pocket of my cut and hold it out.
“You like candy?” I ask.
She nods and holds her hands out in a cup.
“My name is Lean. You want to come with me and go see Mani?” I pour the open bag of candy into her hands through one of the holes in the metal fence, looking for the door. “You want me to get you out of this cage?”
“I’m safe in here,” she says, shoving a handful of candy into her mouth. “If I get out, the cats might bite me.”
“Jesus Christ,” I mutter under my breath when I remember the tiger roaming the yard the last time we were here. I need to get her out of here… fast. “If I open up this gate, will you come with me?”
“My medicine,” she says. “If I don’t have my medicine I get very sick.”
“We have medicine for you,” I say. I really don’t have any idea what I’m doing or what her medicine even is, but it’s too late to turn back. We’ll figure it out as we go. I find the “door” which is basically just a piece of swinging fence wrapped in chain, and cut it off at the lock.
