On one visit, Damien said, “Kelsey wants to come see you. She insists I bring her with me.”
“Absolutely not! I want her nowhere near this place. This is not a place for a woman like her, and you know it. Not to mention, did you forget she’s a human?”
“You know how Kelsey can be. I’ve tried to explain it to her, but she won’t hear of it. She said you’re like her own brother, and she misses you. She wants to see you.”
When Shane’s eyes moistened with tears, he quickly looked away. He could not afford to show any weakness, at least not in a place like this.
“Tell her I miss her, too. And tell her I don’t want her to see me here…it would hurt me too much.” Shane got up and walked away from his brother, needing to be alone. He knew Kelsey would hear his words loud and clear.
As days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, Shane fell even more into a dark, lonely place. For the majority of the time, the only thing that helped him keep going were thoughts of Samantha. He held onto each memory he’d shared with her, and he played them over and over in his mind. He clearly remembered the first time he saw her as a little girl. He’d walked up to her, carrying Damien and Kelsey in his arms. Samantha had looked up to him with her eyes wide as if he was some sort of hero.
Each memory was special, and he cherished every moment of their time together. The memory that tortured him the most was their last night together when they had finally made love. He remembered every single detail, every moan, every touch, every kiss. That night, he had taken her virginity and then walked out of her life. How could he possibly face her again?
Damien had kept him informed about Samantha during each visit. Shane knew she had moved back to New York and lived close to her mother. He also knew she had received another music contract and was taking the country by storm. That did not surprise him one bit. What did surprise him was when Damien shared that Samantha was training under his father. Apparently, she wanted to embrace her gargoyle side and understand her powers.
When his thoughts weren’t buried in memories of Samantha, Shane focused on trying to survive the year. Although most gargoyles stayed away from him, there were some who liked to challenge him. Maintaining his dominance was important, so many times, he had to show them why he shouldn’t be messed with. The guards mostly left him alone as soon as they found out that he was Master Sebastian’s son. Even though his father was no longer a master gargoyle, they knew he was still a very powerful gargoyle, and they did not want to test the waters.
When the year finally came to an end, Shane was a nervous wreck. As much as he couldn’t wait to see everybody, it was also terrifying. During the year, Shane had embraced solitude and become a loner. He had purposefully maintained his hard exterior for so long, he had no idea how he was going to react when he saw those he loved. He had learned to bury himself in his own pain the entire year, no longer sure if he was capable of opening up to anybody again. He was not the same Shane he once was.
Shane’s father was waiting for him when he was released. Master Sebastian pulled his son into his arms, holding him another minute longer. Shane remained stiff, not ready to show any emotions.
When his father stepped away from him, Shane looked around. He was actually free—no longer behind the bars. He was free to do as he willed. Inhaling deeply, he enjoyed the fresh air. It had been an entire year of being deprived of such simple things he had taken for granted. It was a clear night, and the moon glistened while the stars shimmered. As the gentle breeze caressed his face, Shane was overwhelmed with emotions.
“Come on, son. Damien and Kelsey are waiting for you in the outskirts.”
“Kelsey? She’s here? Why? I told Damien I didn’t want her anywhere near here.”
“You were getting released today. There was no way any of us could hold her back.”
Shane sighed, knowing how stubborn Kelsey could be. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to see her.
“Okay, where are they? I can’t even sense them,” Shane said.
“Your gargoyle powers will be diminished for a while since you haven’t had the opportunity to use them lately. Also, you’ll probably have some difficulty flying. Your wings may be a bit rusty.”
“I figured as much. How long do you think that will take?”
“With training, you should be back to yourself soon enough. Do you want to try to fly to them right now?”
“I sure as hell don’t wanna walk to them,” Shane answered, chuckling under his breath. He did try to work out quite a bit in the prison, but there really wasn’t much more to do outside of lifting weights.
Shane expanded his wings and leaped up. Although he was significantly weaker, he at least didn’t fall on his face. The more he practiced, the more confident he became.
When his father landed behind some trees, Shane arrived several minutes later.
As soon as his feet were planted, Kelsey came running. Throwing herself on him, she hugged him tightly. He could feel her quivering in his arms, and he knew she was crying.
“Let me look at you,” she said between her tears. She stepped back and placed her hand on his cheek, examining him. “Are you okay? We’ve missed you so much.”
Shane laughed nervously. “Yeah, I’m good. Well, it’s over anyway.”
Damien then pulled him in his arms. “It’s time to come home, brother. We want you to stay with us. We already have a room ready for you.”
Shane hesitated. He hadn’t even thought about where he would be staying.
“There’s nothing to think about, Shane. We insist. You need your family, and we need you. My kids want to make up the lost time with their uncle,” Kelsey said.
“Well, I see you haven’t changed any, Kelsey. Bossy as ever,” Shane joked, rolling his eyes.
“We felt the flight would be too long for you, Shane, so we bought plane tickets for all of us. We need to get to the airport,” Damien said.
As he nodded, Shane turned around one more time to look at the place that had been his home for the past year. He took a deep breath, promising himself he’d rather die than to return there again.
Thirty-nine
It had been a month since his release, and Shane had fallen into a very dark place. The only thing that cheered him up was spending time with his nephew and niece. If it weren’t for them, he’d barely come out of his room.
Damien would force him to go hunting with him, just so he’d eat. As soon as they’d return, Shane would lock himself back in his room. Kelsey had lectured him numerous times about snapping out of his funk, but Shane felt empty. He had no purpose, no goals, and no desire to get through night after night. He almost wondered if it was easier when he was in prison. At least he had a goal to survive there. There was a purpose… something he could focus his efforts on.
His father checked on him frequently. On one of his visits, he said, “I’ve been around for a long time now, Shane. I thought I had all the answers. I was so busy trying to find some type of purpose after I lost your mother. I thought I could be this important figure in our world, even if that meant making some sacrifices. But you know what I learned recently? That none of that matters. What matters is here and now. What matters is how to hold onto what we have right this minute. What matters is to find our happiness in the present because tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us.”
“What exactly are you saying, Father? If you need to say something to me, just spit it out.”
“I want you to search your heart and find your happiness. I want you to fight for it. You are somebody very special, and you deserve to be happy. Let go of everything else and live for today. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to be able to do that. Believe me, I should know. But I also know if anybody could do it, it would be you because you are the most courageous person I know.” With that, his father flew away.
The entire year while he was in the prison, Shane had dreamed of seeing Samantha once again. All he had to do was to go find her. But a month after his
release had passed, and he still hadn’t been able to do it. What would he say to her? How would she react? He was afraid to find out how much she truly hated him. He was afraid of what she would say to him. He was afraid that she would tell him she never wanted to see him again. But most of all, he was afraid to face the emotions she would draw out of him. Besides, he wanted her to believe he walked away from her. He wanted her to move on with her life, didn’t he?
“You’re walking around like a corpse,” Damien said one night. “Come on, I’m taking you out.”
“Not in the mood,” Shane mumbled.
“Too bad. You’re not moping around here anymore. Maybe some attention from hot girls will help you get out of your funk.”
Shane had no desire to deal with any “hot girls,” but Damien wasn’t taking no for an answer. Reluctantly, he went along with Damien’s plan to humor him. They both ended up at a dance club. As many clubs as Shane had hung out in the past, he never felt more awkward and out of place than he did at that moment.
Trying to relax, he stood next to his brother, drinking beer while Damien was tapping his foot to the beat of the music. All Shane wanted to do was to get back into the solitude of his room. But before he could suggest that to Damien, two ladies approached them and asked them to dance. Shane was just about to refuse when Damien said, “Sure, we’d love to.”
As the blonde bombshell led Damien to the dance floor, the beautiful, fiery redhead with pouty lips took Shane’s hand. “Come on, hot stuff. Are you going to be shy all night?”
Flashing her a polite smile, Shane followed her to the dance floor. He could hear Damien already explaining to the blonde girl—who was trying to get close to him—that he was happily married and not interested. Shane wondered if he should say the same to the redhead when she started to grind her hips against him to the beat of the music. He tried to step away from her, but she didn’t seem to take the hint.
As she continued to rub her hands all over him, Shane finally said, “Look, I have to let you know that I’m a married man, and I love my wife very much.”
“I don’t see her here,” she said, batting her eyes innocently.
“My brother and I just came for couple of drinks, that’s all. I’m not interested in anything you have to offer.”
“Nobody has to know.” She continued to flirt with him.
Shane grabbed her arms and held her away from him. “You know, you really are a beautiful girl. Don’t sell yourself short by hooking up with a random stranger. You’re worth more than that. It was nice to meet you, but my brother and I were just leaving.” He turned to Damien and pulled him off the dance floor. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
“We just got here, little bro,” Damien said.
“I’m done.” Shane wanted nothing more than to leave.
As they were exiting, Damien said, “I thought getting laid by a gorgeous girl might help you.”
Shane turned to Damien, shocked. “Who are you?”
“Who are you? You haven’t been yourself, Shane. You can’t get Sammy out of your system, but you refuse to go see her. Where’s my overly-cocky brother I used to know? The one who faced any challenge head on?”
Shane looked away. “I’m sure she hates me,” he mumbled.
“I’m sure she hates you, too. Hell, I would! So, what are you gonna do about it?”
Shane didn’t even bother answering Damien. What did he want him to do? Go find Samantha and say he’s back? That he was sorry about being an ass? If she would give him another chance to prove himself? For all he knew, she may be involved with another man. Damien and Kelsey had refused to share any personal information about Samantha’s life. And truth be told, Shane was definitely not ready to hear that. The thought of Samantha being involved with somebody made him sick to his stomach. But then again, what right did he have to her and her life?
“I mean you haven’t even tried to see Sammy. Maybe you need to get it over with…you know, to get your closure.”
“I don’t want any closure,” Shane snapped. “And what do you mean by closure anyway?”
“Why are you getting upset, Shane? I mean, maybe if you saw her and you guys hashed it out, it might help you to move on and find some type of resolution. Right now, you’re still hanging on. Maybe you can finally let go.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I don’t want to let go. I don’t want my closure from her. Why would you think I want to let it go? She’s everything to me.”
Damien stared at him in silence as Shane continued to glare at him in anger. Placing his hand on his little brother’s shoulder, Damien softly said, “Exactly.”
The next night, Shane found himself outside his father’s residence. With his wealth, his father was able to purchase a beautiful home nearby with its own state of the art training center. As Shane was searching for Samantha, his senses led him here. He figured Samantha must be inside, training with his father.
When he flew by the windows, Shane saw his father and Samantha in the ring, fighting. As soon as he saw her, a wave of emotions crashed into him. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her hair was pulled up in high ponytail, and she was wearing black yoga pants with black, athletic tank top. In his human form, his father pushed her. Shane couldn’t help but be impressed with her strength and speed. Suddenly feeling dizzy, as he was having difficulty with his emotions, he brought himself down in the front lawn. Taking a deep breath, he shifted into his human form and put on the sweatpants and t-shirt he had brought with him.
As he approached the door, he could hear his father talking. “Somebody’s here to see you, Sammy.”
After a brief silence, he heard Samantha’s voice. “I don’t want to see him.”
“You can sense him?” his father asked.
“I picked up his scent,” Samantha replied. “I told you, I don’t want to see him.”
His scent? Samantha’s powers had become that strong? As Shane processed the information, her words to his father echoed in his mind. She knew he was out here, and she absolutely did not want to see him. With his heart pounding against his chest, he decided it might be for the best if he left. Just as he was about to turn away, he heard his father say, “You must see him, Sammy.”
The front door swung open, and his father stood before him. “Hello, son. I’m glad to see you here.”
Shane remained silent, trying to get a hold of himself. When his father began to lead him to the gym, Shane followed him. Samantha was still standing in the ring, her back to him. When she didn’t turn around, his father cleared his throat and said, “I will leave you two alone now.”
Searching deep inside him, Shane tried to find the courage his father was talking about. He would rather fight Jared a thousand times before facing Samantha. But he knew it was now or never. He needed to somehow face Samantha’s wrath. Taking a deep breath, he walked toward her. He heard her sigh before she finally turned around to watch him suspiciously as he approached her.
“Hey,” he said. No other words would come out of his mouth.
Samantha raised her eyebrows, her eyes remaining cold and distant. “Good to see you’re still alive. What can I do for you, Shane?”
“You look good, Sammy. I see you’re training with—”
“What do you want?” Samantha interrupted. “Why are you here?” She was annoyed, and her eyes had changed from being distant to angry.
“I want our happily ever after,” Shane whispered, his hands in his pocket.
“I see. So, you remember everything.” Samantha laughed, walking away from him. “But I think you’re a year too late for our happily ever after. The day you walked out on me—on us—was the day I realized you would never change. You’re too restless. I was a fool to think I would be enough to satisfy you.”
“No, Sammy, what are you saying? You have it all wrong.” Shane wanted to fall to his knees and beg her to understand.
“Actions speak louder than words. I’m done, Shane. I’ve moved
on with my life, and frankly, I’m very happy without any Shane drama. Please don’t try to contact me again.”
“Please don’t do this, Sammy.” Shane tried to reach for her, but she stepped back.
“Don’t you dare come near me. Just get out!” Samantha’s eyes were fuming, and Shane knew she meant every word. Having his worst fear come true, Shane somehow managed to stay on his feet as he walked away from her.
Forty
It was a mistake to try to go see her. Shane’s life went from bad to worse. Seeing her after so long, though, made him hungry to see her again. Out of respect for her wishes, he forced himself to stay away. The thought of Samantha never wanting to see him again killed him. He felt more lost than ever.
He stayed in his room for two nights in a row, not even going hunting with Damien. Finally, when Kelsey knocked on his door, insisting he open it, he allowed her to enter.
Bringing a plate of human food, she said, “You’ll eat this—all of it. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I will not allow you to kill yourself in my house.”
“The only way gargoyles can die is by decapitation or if you get to their heart. You should know that.”
“Blah, blah, blah. I don’t care, and you will eat, even if I have to feed you myself. Oh, by the way, your brother and I are throwing an anniversary party. You know, to celebrate our marriage. We will be exchanging vows there as well. It’s going to be a formal affair at your father’s home. He has a fancy ballroom.”
“What do you mean? What kind of party is it again?”
“Didn’t you hear me? Are you already getting delirious from not eating? I said we’re celebrating our marriage with all of our friends and family. We didn’t have anybody attend when we got married, so we decided to renew our vows with you all there.” Kelsey put her hand on her hip, waiting for his response.
“Who’s all attending?”
“Everybody we love. And you will be there, Shane, so don’t even try to come up with some lame ass excuse. You will do this for your brother, Ryan, and Tori. You will dress up in your best tuxedo because you’ll be Damien’s best man. You will smile and be nice to everyone. Do I make myself clear?”
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