“No, that’s not the part of before I was talking about,” Lee said as he pulled Darren into a hug he hadn’t expected at all. The backpack slid from his shoulder as Darren waved his arm, his other hand pinned between them, still pressed to Lee’s chest. When Lee’s arms settled firmly around him, one big hand cupping the back of Darren’s head, pushing until Darren finally gave in and rested his forehead on Lee’s shoulder, Darren timidly reached for Lee, easing his arm around Lee’s hip right above the towel. Darren closed his eyes and reveled in being held for several minutes as Lee rubbed his neck and back.
“I don’t blame you,” Lee said softly. “You shouldn’t blame yourself either.”
Darren disagreed. “I wasn’t there! If I’d been there—”
“No.” Lee emphasized the word with a brisk tightening of his arms. “You can’t think like that. It wasn’t like you knew what was going to happen.”
Lee sounded so certain, but he didn’t know all of it. Darren rubbed his forehead against Lee’s shoulder, soaking up the scent of the man while he could. “I didn’t know, no, but Stefan and I had kind of started growing apart—not, not like we weren’t still best friends, but, you know, we reached a point where other things interested us some of the time. We weren’t always together. Stefan said he’d made a new friend and he’d tell me about him, I was, um, there was this guy, Cody, and we were, you know, curious.”
Darren bit his lip to stop the verbal spew. Lee’s body had gone tense against his as he’d talked. Darren figured he’d be shoved away and told to leave any second now.
“Do you know who Stefan’s friend was?”
It wasn’t what Darren had expected, and he was grateful even though he couldn’t give Lee a name. “No, he was secretive. I thought he was just getting a kick out of teasing me, so I didn’t press. He seemed happy, then Mom died and I…I don’t know. I was a kid really and suddenly I was alone and had to make these decisions and figure out how to do things that would confuse any adult. Stefan was, well, he was Stefan. Happy and sweet, and I couldn’t handle that when I was hurting and so scared.” Darren’s breath hitched as guilt constricted his lungs. “I avoided him for a few days. I was horrible, so selfish and then Cody said we should go to Houston for the weekend so we could…be alone. And Stefan died, and if I hadn’t—”
Darren bit his bottom lip so hard he tasted blood. He wouldn’t cry in front of Lee, like some small child crying for forgiveness. Darren had been seventeen, old enough to know Stefan needed him. He’d understood Stefan’s disability, and he’d still had no patience for Stefan when it might have mattered most. He didn’t deserve forgiveness.
“Darren.”
Despite his best effort not to, Darren clung to Lee as the first tears slipped free. Instead of the rejection he expected, Darren heard Lee’s murmured attempts to comfort, assuring him it wasn’t his fault. Darren had only been a kid, and his world had imploded overnight with his mother’s death. That was true enough, even though Darren’s mom had been ill for a long time, her heart damaged from years of drug abuse before she’d found herself pregnant. Darren still hadn’t been prepared for her to die.
“But I should have turned to Stefan, not away,” Darren sobbed, hating himself for his weaknesses.
“Stefan didn’t blame you. By that time he was, according to the letters I got after he died, already spending as much time with this other guy as he could. I think he transferred his crush on you to this friend, and I need to find out who he was.”
Darren lifted his head, wondering why crying made it feel so heavy, and gaped at Lee. “What do you mean, his crush on me?”
The smile Lee gave him was so sweet it made more tears well in Darren’s eyes. “I figured you didn’t know. He wrote about having a crush on you once he understood what being gay meant. Stefan wrote me and asked if it was okay to be gay. Of course I told him yes, and he wrote back from then on, until he made his new friend, about his crush on you.”
“How did I not know that? We were best friends and he never—”
Darren stopped himself before he could say any more. He didn’t have any right to feel betrayed. Stefan wouldn’t have ever hurt him purposely, and no matter how close they’d been, Stefan and Darren both had their own secrets. Granted, Darren had told Stefan he was gay, but not at first, not for years, even. Stefan might have been older, but he had been so innocent, and Darren had carefully avoided any talk about sex in an attempt not to accidentally blurt out more than Stefan should hear.
“He knew you didn’t think of him like that,” Lee finally said. “Stefan loved you as a friend first and foremost, but he couldn’t help crushing on you. He wasn’t stupid—he could be very intuitive at times, at least where you were concerned. Stefan wanted you to be happy, settled with someone who was, and I’m quoting directly here, ‘smart, sexy, who’ll give him everything’. That’s what Stefan wanted for you, and he knew he would always be limited.”
Darren wanted to claim otherwise, that Stefan could and would have done anything, but the truth was, Stefan had suffered from oxygen deprivation when the umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck during birth. The brain damage wasn’t as severe as it could have been, but it was enough that Stefan would never have been able to live on his own.
“Darren, can you tell me why Stefan was anywhere near the ledge above Mercer’s Ravine?”
Darren had wondered that himself later, once the shock of the two sudden deaths had dulled somewhat. “No. I knew he was afraid of heights. He wouldn’t even climb onto the roof of the shed with me and it was only eight feet off the ground.” Darren started to tremble as his worst fear about the cause of Stefan’s death worked its way up to his mouth and spilled free. “I’m afraid he m-might have k-killed himself.” Because Darren had all but abandoned his best friend, choosing instead to lose himself in his grief.
Chapter Six
“No, he didn’t, Darren, Stefan didn’t kill himself.” Lee was as certain of that as he was the Earth was round, and of every other indisputable fact he knew. But Darren clearly didn’t believe him, shaking his head so hard as he wept that Lee feared he would hurt himself. Lee held Darren close and took the few necessary steps backwards to reach the bed. He sat, pulling Darren down with him.
“Come on,” Lee whispered against Darren’s ear. “Lie down and let me hold you.”
Darren didn’t lie down so much as collapse, curling up on his side with his knees hitched up. Lee murmured whatever comforting words he could think of as he wrapped his body around Darren’s. The towel was gone, he realized, as his groin pressed against Darren’s denim-clad ass. Lee started to move back since his dick had perked up as soon as bare skin met firm butt cheeks. Darren grumbled and reached back, his hand grasping Lee’s hips hard enough to hurt.
Lee closed his eyes and tried everything he could to will his erection away, but nothing worked, not with Darren so close, his hand now kneading instead of gripping. Lee grunted when Darren arched his lower back, pressing his ass against Lee’s stiff cock.
“Behave,” Lee scolded, resisting the urge to rut against Darren until he soaked Darren’s ass with cum.
Darren rolled his neck until he could peer over his shoulder at Lee. “But I want—”
Jesus, Lee did, too, but not when Darren was still trembling, his chest hitching with a silent sob every few breaths. “Not yet.” No matter how much he ached to feel the silky heat of Darren’s ass massaging his dick. “Not after everything that’s just happened.”
Darren jerked his head back around, but not before Lee saw the pink cheeks or the mortified expression on Darren’s face.
“God damn it, I just keep fucking this up,” Lee muttered. He hadn’t wanted to take advantage of Darren when he was vulnerable. Yeah, and making him feel ashamed of breaking down after carrying all that guilt for years, that was so much better. I have to fix this! “I just meant I want you to be sure.”
Darren didn’t acknowledge the statement. Lee growled and sat up then r
olled Darren onto his back. The shock in those brown eyes nearly made Lee smile but he swooped down instead to put his lips to better use. When Darren groaned Lee softened the kiss, thinking of the bruise that darkened Darren’s chin. He was an insensitive asshole for not considering until this moment that even kissing might be painful for Darren.
Lee lifted his head only to have Darren grab two handfuls of Lee’s hair and pull him back down. The bite of pain to his scalp had a direct effect on his cock as pre-cum leaked from Lee’s slit. Burying his own hands in Darren’s soft brown hair, Lee maneuvered himself until he was lying fully on Darren, only his elbows keeping the brunt of his weight off Darren.
Darren raked his teeth over Lee’s lips before sinking his tongue in deep between them. Lee sucked the slick muscle, loving the way Darren moaned when he did so. Darren’s hands slid from Lee’s hair, down his neck to clutch at his shoulders. Darren’s blunt nails scored Lee’s skin. Lee tightened his hands in Darren’s hair and rutted against Darren’s groin. It wasn’t nearly enough. He lifted his head enough to brush his lips over Darren’s as he spoke.
“Get naked while I get what we need.”
Darren’s lips parted and Lee crushed his mouth to Darren’s again, wanting to drink the man in. Everything about Darren felt right, tasted right, and Lee couldn’t get enough. He was afraid he never would.
Darren was drowning in desire, or burning in it—he couldn’t decide as he opened for Lee’s tongue. All he knew was that he needed more than this, as amazing as it was. Darren twisted his head to the side and moaned when Lee bit at the sensitive spot below his ear in response.
Words he’d never thought he’d be able to speak tumbled out. “I thought you wanted me naked. I need to be naked, want to feel you in me—”
Lee rumbled something unintelligible against Darren’s neck, his teeth scraping over skin already marked. Lee thrust his hips, shoving his dick against the crease where Darren’s thigh and groin met. Darren reached under Lee’s arms and managed to get one hand between them. His fingers brushed the wet tip of Lee’s shaft.
“Fuck yes, baby,” Lee hissed. “Just—”
Darren shoved his hand lower and got a grip on Lee’s cock. Lee cursed and thrust harder, his chest heaving as he threw his head back. “Darren, I…can’t wait.”
The last word came out so garbled Darren had trouble deciphering it but once he did, once he remembered he was the one who’d come once already, he understood Lee’s urgency. Darren’s dick was harder than it’d ever been—Lee must have been aching with the need for release. Darren gripped Lee’s rod tighter as he pulled his other hand free and grabbed a rock-hard, sweat-slicked butt cheek, his fingers delving into Lee’s fuzzy crack. He brushed over the wrinkled skin of Lee’s hole and Lee shouted, liquid heat spraying from his cock as he came.
Lee worked his hips in erratic jerks until he finally stilled, groaning loudly. “Jesus, Dar, what are you doing to me?”
Darren didn’t know if Lee was referring to his loss of control or the fact that his dick was still hard, pressed against Darren’s groin, or both. Or maybe something else entirely.
Lee drew several gasping breaths then gave Darren a heated look. “Now you can get naked.” Lee pushed up and rolled to Darren’s side. “Like, right now,” Lee growled, trailing his fingers through the warm cum on Darren’s clothes. Lee brought his fingers to Darren’s lips and rubbed the spunk on them, then slid his salty digits into Darren’s mouth when he opened it. “Suck.”
Darren did, his gaze locked with Lee’s. He rolled his tongue around Lee’s fingers, bit and sucked until he cleaned the cum off of them. Lee purred his approval and pulled his fingers from Darren’s mouth. “Strip,” he ordered, getting up from the bed.
His hands shaking as adrenaline pumped through him, Darren undressed while watching Lee’s rounded ass flex as he walked over to the dresser. Lee opened his duffle and dug around as Darren kicked off his shoes and tossed his clothes on top of them. Darren felt a pang of worry that his body, so much more slender than Lee’s muscular one, wouldn’t appeal to Lee. Lee was beyond buff, not quite body builder huge, but close. And Darren just wasn’t.
Lee turned back with a strip of condoms in one hand and a large bottle of lube in the other. He stopped and looked Darren over from head to toes. “You are so fucking gorgeous.”
Darren stopped worrying about his body after that. He sat on the bed and started to move back, intending to get somewhere closer to the middle.
“Stop.”
Darren did, one foot on the floor and the other on the edge of the bed. Lee strode over and tossed the condoms and lube on the bed beside Darren. “Put your other foot up, like this.” He lifted Darren’s leg until both feet were on the edge of the mattress. “Now spread.” Lee pushed Darren’s thighs apart, exposing him in a way Darren had never thought to be. Lee could see everything, which caused the flush staining Darren’s chest to race down over his stomach and further still to the tops of his thighs.
Lee knelt between Darren’s legs and ran a finger from the base of Darren’s cock past his balls, then further down to his anus. Lee looked up, his gaze drilling Darren’s. “Has anyone ever fucked this tight little hole?”
“Once,” Darren squeaked, mortified by his lack of experience.
“That Cody kid?”
“Yes.”
Lee pushed at Darren’s pucker. “Just once. Did you like it?”
Darren tried to swallow but coughed instead, the lack of spit in his mouth and throat making the roll of muscles impossible. “It hurt. A lot,” he tacked on when Lee made a questioning sound.
“It can, if it’s not done right.”
Darren groaned as Lee gripped his cheeks and spread them apart.
“So I’m guessing no one’s ever done this, then.”
Darren propped himself up on his elbows, trying to see more than the top of Lee’s head. “Done what? I— God!” Darren’s thoughts splintered as ecstasy shot up from his ass, scorching a path through his body. He couldn’t believe Lee was licking him there! And Darren didn’t want him to stop because it felt unbelievably good.
Lee chuckled, the vibration tickling Darren’s hole. “That’s what I thought.” Then he proceeded to lick and suck the wrinkled skin, even scrape it with his teeth. Darren moaned and whimpered, the nerves around his ring lit up with pleasure and sharing it with every other nerve in his body. Something slick and hard slid into his opening and Darren keened as he realized Lee’s tongue was inside him. His balls pulled up snug as Darren reached for his dick only to have his hand knocked aside. Lee gripped Darren’s rod and jerked it hard and rough while his tongue penetrated him deeper with each entry. Something blunt joined Lee’s tongue, pushing into Darren’s hole and Darren screamed, his orgasm hitting him with no warning tingles or any of the other usual signs of imminent release. Darren’s climax was wrenched from him, bowing his back as his thighs tensed and quivered. Cum hit his chest and stomach as Darren’s vision dimmed to a pinprick of light.
“Knew you’d love that,” he heard Lee say smugly. Darren grunted then yelped when something cold and wet splattered onto his still tight sac. “Lube,” Lee informed him, “because I am going to fuck you until we’re both stupid from it.”
Darren figured he had a head start there, because he was pretty sure the top of his head had blown off with the intensity of his orgasm. He flinched as Lee worked a finger into him, expecting pain.
“Relax, you’ll love this as least as much as the rimming.”
He had his doubts about that until Lee’s finger brushed over Darren’s prostate. Darren knew what it was, but after that one horrible experience he hadn’t had the nerve to try to find it himself. Now he wished he had. He could almost weep over losing two years’ worth of such pleasure.
Lee rubbed that spot until Darren’s dick was fully erect then there was more pressure at Darren’s hole.
“Look at that, two fingers inside you, stretching you, and you’re loving it, fucking you
rself on them.”
And it felt too good to be embarrassed about. Darren pushed and ground against Lee’s fingers, whining when they slipped from his body.
Lee shushed him softly. “You want more. That pretty little asshole is pink and fluttering, begging to be filled.”
“Lee…” Darren gasped as his ring was stretched wider. It didn’t hurt, exactly. Lee worked his fingers in deeper, bumping Darren’s gland, then it didn’t even come close to being painful. Darren’s hips rocked of their own accord, his butt moving up and down. His dick pulsed and bobbed, slapping against his stomach beneath his naval. Those warning tingles that had failed to alert him last time began at the base of his spine, crawling up its length slowly at first before rocketing up only to come to a halt when Lee pulled his fingers free.
“What…? Why…?” Darren wished he cursed, because he had been so very close to coming, and why had Lee stopped?
As if he knew what Darren was thinking, Lee laughed and gently slapped the inside of Darren’s thigh. “I need to fuck you, and you’re definitely ready.”
“Oh.” Well, that was all right then. Darren watched as Lee picked up the foil package and tore it open. He rolled the condom down his big cock then grabbed the lube and opened it.
“Always use lots of lube. Better too much than not enough,” Lee advised.
Darren figured that was only one of the reasons he and Cody had hurt each other. They hadn’t done more than stick a finger in each other before squirting a dollop of lube onto their dicks. Darren had felt like he was being scraped raw with a sandpaper-covered pipe. It had sucked.
“Roll over, it’ll be easier for you. Knees on the floor and spread them wide.”
“Okay,” Darren stuttered, telling himself it was pretty stupid to feel self-conscious now. Lee had stuck his tongue and fingers in him, had already seen how wanton Darren could be. He rolled over and slid down until he was kneeling on the floor, his chest on the mattress and his butt tilted up.
Aftermath Page 6
