By the end, he’s squeezing my hand. “You’ve been through a lot,” he says quietly. I nod. “Thank you for telling me. I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad.”
“Probably a bit too much for a first date though, huh?” Still… even if it wasn’t exactly appropriate, the feeling of relief is immense. I feel calm. Happy. Even though I just told him my history.
“Not at all. I feel so connected to you. And every little detail we learn about each other strengthens that connection. I want you, Allie, for all that you are.”
God… so romantic. It’s insanely sexy. He’s unabashed with his feelings. That’s not something I ever expected to encounter in a man. Soon we move to lighter topics and before I know it I’ve been here for hours. We’re cuddled on his plush sofa, his strong arms around my shoulders and I want him so badly. We’re watching an old movie, which I normally love, but it’s hard to focus on anything else with this heat between us. Sitting here without doing anything is a new form of torture.
“I should take you home,” he says when the movie is over. I don’t even know what it was about.
But I nod and smile up at him. It was nice just lounging in his arms. “Probably for the best,” I say. We head outside and before I know it we’re standing outside my building.
I hadn’t expected him to be so… it’s a connection I’ve never experienced. More than sexual or physical but even without knowing the particulars of his life, I feel closer to him than any other person I’ve ever met. There’s a naked intimacy between us.
I grin and rest my head against his hard chest, feeling the rise and fall as he breathes, the steady beating of his heart. I close my eyes and feel him.
“I feel so safe with you.” I can’t help the words from coming out, they’re like an insistent force that needs to be vocalized. The hand that began gently stroking my back stops.
“Why wouldn’t you feel safe?” Roman tips my face up to his, and I’m surprised by the look of concern in his eyes.
“Oh, no,” I say quickly. “I didn’t mean… sorry. I wasn’t thinking of anything specific. It’s just that it’s strange. You feel like home to me.” I feel the flush rising to my face. Sure, my words are corny, sickly sweet… but they’re true.
Roman’s face clears and his eyes are soft now. “Thank you. That’s a marvelous thing to say and to hear. Someday we’ll have a home together. I know it. Me and you and our children.”
The thought is stunning.
It’s so hard to say goodbye, but finally we must. I want to invite him in, but I don’t think he’ll come. He gives me only a chaste kiss on my lips that leaves me light-headed.
Later that night as I lay in his arms, I stare out my little window into the hazy night, a light smattering of rain hitting the glass, and think about what I said to him. Home.
He wants a home with me. A family. That’s what he told me. Could I do that? I’ve never had one—at least not really. My family was a mess as a child, my father more a burden than anything. What does it even mean to have a real home?
To be honest… I don’t really know. But Roman makes me want to discover just what it means.
8
Roman
A week flies by and I see Allison every day of it. Somehow I just can’t seem to keep away. When I’m working she’s on my mind, but instead of being distracting, it’s motivating. Our work on the gallery is progressing nicely and I think we’re actually going to finish on time.
Sometimes I’m afraid that I’ll scare her off with so much attention, but she seems fine with it. I’m pretty sure she wants me around. She definitely wants me in bed, but I won’t sleep with her yet. She’s not ready. Once I know she’s one hundred percent ready to commit to me, then I’ll make her mine. After that there’s no letting go.
For now I just have to be patient. I’m waiting outside her apartment now to take her on a few errands. I’m hoping to grab dinner with her afterwards if only to spend more time with her.
I see her emerge from her apartment hauling a large storage box that makes her look small. Immediately I jump out of my car and run to take it from her. Once I do, I realize it’s much lighter than it looks.
“What’s in here?” I ask, darting down to kiss her lips briefly. I can’t resist.
She smiles. “Blankets. I’ve been making them for the past year out of spare materials or anything I can find really.”
“And you’re giving them away?” I open the door to the backseat and place the box there before running around to open her door.
“It’s my way of giving back. The shelters need plenty of blankets this time of year with winter on its way.”
“That’s true enough.” I hop in the driver’s seat. “So the shelter on Dawson Street?”
“Yes, please. And thanks for taking me.” The gratitude reaches her eyes, as all of her emotions do. I feel so lucky to be with someone so sincere.
“You know I insist on doing this. I want to. I want to spend every moment I can with you, Allie.”
Her smile is pleased, but at the same time I can tell something is bothering her. “I know,” she says quietly. After a few moments of silence, she continues. “This all seems too good to be true sometimes.”
I look at her but she’s staring out of the window. “I know what you mean.” I really do. How had I made it this far in life without her? I guess I didn’t feel the loneliness. If I was to lose her now though… I don’t want to think about it. This past week has been the happiest I’ve ever had. I just need to focus on that. I’m lucky to have met Allison as I did.
“It’s kind of scary, right?” She turns to me and I see the concern in her eyes. “I keep thinking something is going to go wrong.”
I reach over and put a hand on her leg. Her hand comes down over mine. “Only if we let it. I believe in fate and all, but I also believe in choice. We have a say in how we react to things. So if we don’t let anything separate us, nothing can.”
“That… sounds true. I guess I just have to trust that things will work out.” She laughs softly, almost sadly. “Vulnerability is such a weird feeling. It’s both good and bad.”
“It brings us closer so I welcome it.” I squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you told me what’s on your mind. Without these tough conversations, we wouldn’t be able to come out stronger.”
“Thank you, Roman. You always know how to make me feel better.”
At the shelter, I follow Allison to the offices at the back of the building. Seeing the tired, worn faces and the clothing that has seen better days, the helpless and the homeless… it’s hard not to give in to sadness and even shame. I’m grateful I’m only wearing jeans and a T-shirt today. A suit would have made the difference between us all the more obvious. It amazes me how low circumstances can bring us in life. How unfair it all can be.
I’ve been fortunate.
When I see Allison, I know even more so. I’m a lucky man to be with her. I follow close behind with her box of blankets. She spots a woman, someone she seems to know, and makes a beeline for her.
“Allison! I’ve been wondering when you’d come by.” The two women embrace in tight hug that suggests they’re close friends.
“I just finished up a final blanket for my donation this year. It’s good to see you, Vi.”
“It really is. Being an adult is hard, huh? There’s only time for work, work, and more work.”
“Don’t forget that you volunteer here between all that work, you saint,” Allison laughs.
“It’s a habit I can’t break at this point.” The woman shrugs and then her eyes find me watching them. “And who’s this handsome gentleman?” she asks.
Allison turns to me with a sweet smile. “This is Roman Craft. He’s been so kind as to help me bring my haul this year.”
“Is that all?” she asks slyly before turning to me and offering me her hand. I take it and find she has a firm grip for such a small woman.
“Roman, this is my friend Violet Finch.
I’ve known her for years. She volunteers here in her free time.”
“It’s a pleasure,” I say.
“So are you two a thing?” she asks bluntly.
“Absolutely,” I say right away. Allison blushes fiercely, but I see the way her smile warms. She grabs my hand.
“We have a lot to catch up on, Vi.”
“Sure seems like it.” She turns around and heads further toward the back of the building. “Come along. I’ll take you to the receiving area so we can get this processed.”
I don’t think it’s standard procedure, but Violet examines each blanket individually, cooing over them. I can’t say I blame her though. They’re beautiful, each one a work of art. And most importantly, they all seem up to the task of keeping their recipients warm and comfortable.
“Oh, Allie, I almost wish these were mine. They’re beautiful.”
“I had some nice spare materials this year.”
“Modest as usual. I know how much work these must have taken you.”
“Thanks, Vi. I wish I could do more, but I’m glad I can help this much at least.”
Violet nods and they seem to share a look of understanding. I get the feeling that both of these women have experienced tough times, maybe even spent time here as guests of the shelter.
They settle down to talk and I’m happy to sit next to Allison and hold her hand as she catches up with her friend for a few minutes. Apparently they go way back and in her early college days, Allison did end up here for a while. She seems embarrassed at first, but she really shouldn’t be. It just makes me admire her all the more. To have gone through so much hardship yet still manage to succeed as she has… it’s amazing.
I’m listening quietly when movement nearby catches my attention. I feel eyes on us, or rather, on Allison.
A man is looking at her with an uncertain expression. By his graying beard, I can tell he’s older. There’s also something strangely familiar about him, though I swear I don’t know him. He approaches cautiously and I stiffen. What could he possibly want? His clothing is worn and stained, as if he’s spent a lot of time outdoors exposed to the elements.
I place a hand protectively around Allison’s shoulders as he approaches us with that same strange look on his face.
His gravelly voice catches Allison’s attention at last. “Allie? Is that you, Allie?”
It seems like everything moves in slow motion as Allison’s eyes widen, her hands clench and she gives a sharp intake of breath. Whoever this man is, his presence is highly disturbing to her. She rises, her mouth hanging open.
Then she runs. Like a frightened animal, she swerves through passerby so quickly I have no hope of catching her.
Left in the wake of her sudden departure, all I can think about are the tears I saw running down her cheeks. Who is this man?
9
Allison
I see them. Those eyes. They stop me midsentence. Freeze my blood. Make me feel like I’m suddenly naked before a huge crowd. Long hair and a dense, shaggy beard can’t disguise those brown eyes flecked with gold.
This man is my father. Reappearing like a ghost from the past. And not a welcome one.
I don’t stop to think about what I’m doing. My legs are on autopilot. I run through the building and across the parking lot. Hail the first cab I see and jump in.
I can’t see him. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Panic courses through me in waves, even after I’m miles away. Even when I’m on my way home to safety. My breathing only starts to settle when I’m back at my apartment, door tightly shut behind me. In the span of only a moment, my world was turned upside down and nothing makes sense.
Flashes of my past whirl before me, my drunken, layabout father central in all of them. He’s alive.
And I had run at the sight of him. Why?
I think I know the reason. Those eyes. When I saw them, when I recognized him, the first emotion to flare in my chest hadn’t been fear or anger or hatred.
It had been hope. And that was the most frightening of all. Hope would surely lead to being let down and hurt all over again. The man could want nothing good from me. And even if he did, do I want to give him that chance?
No. I’d been right. Running was the correct choice. Run before he can reach out a hand, before he can call my name even one more time. Give him no power, no leeway, no margin of hope to mess up my life.
The only regret I have is leaving Roman behind without a word. I hadn’t really meant to. There was just no time to explain. He’s probably confused and thinking I’m crazy. I hadn’t even thought to explain myself. Just ran off like a madwoman.
God. He would want nothing to do with me now. Especially if he connects the dots, figures out that man is my father.
What can I do?
The only thing that comes to mind is my work. Particularly the job I’m doing for Roman. I’ll throw myself into it, finish his wardrobe, and get my mind away from my father. I shoot Roman a quick text to apologize and let him know I’ll be busy with work for a while. Short and simple. He’d get the point and hopefully ask no questions.
Of course it’s not that simple.
Roman tries to contact me multiple times over the next few days. He sends me the most loving, sweet messages. But I can’t. I can’t respond.
I think of how my mother gave her heart to a man and he’d been the end of her. Not literally but her soul—that’s what died. What if Roman does the same to me? I’m sure my father was just as charming and handsome in his day. Had my mom been a fool to be taken in by him?
Had she felt like I do? Like our souls are connected, like every step of my life has led me to him? Like I might love him?
Such strong feelings. Too strong for a man I haven’t known long. I shake my head.
There’s no sense in these thoughts. I’ll finish Roman’s wardrobe and put him out of mind. My father, too.
Maybe they’ll both forget I exist.
10
Roman
I’m in a difficult position. Every moment I spent with Allison was pure bliss. I felt on top of the moon getting to admire her every day, being able to read her emotions in her eyes, see the way her lips quirk up in a smile when she sees me, watch her hips sway with every step she takes. When I tease her, she wraps her arms around herself which makes her large, round breasts press upward together tightly. That makes me want to tease her even more.
Now… now she won’t talk to me. What am I to do?
I ultimately decide to give her space, even though it’s the last thing I want. But I have no choice.
I mull about my apartment restlessly, my drive to work gone. I’ve been leaving the gallery job to my men, unable to summon my productivity with Allison shutting me out.
It’s all that man’s fault. I ran after her only for her to jump in a cab and disappear. When I made my way back into the shelter to confront the man, he’d been gone. He was someone to her obviously, but who?
I think back on everything she’d told me and stumble upon the only possibility I can muster. She seemed to stiffen every time she mentioned a certain man. Her father. He’d left her one day, never returned. And I know that must be him.
There’s only one way I can think of to fix this. Because I am not giving up on Allison. She’s mine and I won’t let a ghost of the past keep us apart. I need to track him down again.
I go back to the shelter every day and inquire about the man. Some days I just sit here aimlessly, waiting for him to appear. Allison’s friend Violet brings me coffee or water sometimes and I see the pity in her eyes. There’s no need for it though. I always trust my gut and this time it’s telling me that he’ll show up.
I will meet Allison’s father.
And one morning I do. I spy him entering the shelter hesitantly, as if he’s not sure where he is. Then I see his eyes passing hopefully over the faces around him, no doubt hoping for a glimpse of his daughter. I approach him carefully, unsure of what to expect.
“Mr. Gr
aber?”
He turns around at my call and his eyes pass over me wearily. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Allison’s boyfriend. Your daughter’s boyfriend.”
“My Allie? You know my Allie?” His previously dull, lusterless eyes begin to shine. This man really wants to see her again. But why? The answer to that question would determine my next steps.
“Yes, but she doesn’t want to see you. And I’m not sure I want her to either.”
The man settles down on a nearby bench wearily. “I can’t say I blame her.”
“You left them.”
The man looks stricken. Pained. But he nods. “Yes. I was… in a bad place. Couldn’t control my urge. My thirst. I thought I was doing more harm than good staying near. So I left one night. Not my best decision.”
I watch as the man’s shoulders shake with grief. I can’t really hold him to any kind of judgment. Who am I to do that? All I can do is try to keep him from hurting Allison even more.
“You regret it?” I ask him.
He looks at me and I see the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Every damn day of my life.”
“Why didn’t you just go back?”
“It took me too long. Years passed before I kicked the habit for good. By the time I went back they were gone. Probably thought I was dead.”
“You should have stayed in contact with them at least.”
“I know,” he says quietly. “I was just… too ashamed. I was a laughable father. Worse than that. A shitty one.”
“Allie loved you nonetheless.”
“I didn’t deserve her. It’s the one thought that stays with me no matter how much time passes. That little girl is too pure, too good. I knew it ever since I laid eyes on her.”
“She’s not a little girl anymore.”
“That I know too well. By the looks of her, she’s doing well in life in spite of me. That’s the best news I’ve had in years.”
“So what do you want?”
Fated for the Billionaire Page 4
