Luke barked out laughter and Blake’s eyes sharpened on hers, burning hot with anger. “We’ll finish this when we’re alone.”
“No,” Kara snapped. “We’re just finished, Blake. The end.” She couldn’t fight for her sister while on this rollercoaster of emotions he kept her riding.
“We aren’t even close to finished.”
“Kara!”
Kara jerked around at the roar of her name to find Kyle slumped in the doorway, his blond hair standing on end, his skin a kind of bluish color. “What the hell did you do to me?” he demanded before he gagged and disappeared back into the other room.
Male laugher followed him, but Kara didn’t think it was funny at all. She’d done what she had to tonight, for both her sister, and for Blake—but Kyle had paid the price. She tried to push away from Blake and go after Kyle, but Blake captured her arms, forcing her to look at him. “He’s pretty furious right now, Kara,” he warned.
“I can handle furious, especially when it’s deserved. And if you’re afraid I’m going to run out of the other door, I’m not. I know you’d come after me.”
“Yes,” he said softly, his eyes simmering with heat and promise. “I would and I’d catch you. Don’t forget that.”
He let go of her and Kara all but ran away, needing out of this Walker-filled room to get a grip on herself, but Royce didn’t let her. He stood up and stepped in front of her. “You’re a good agent, Kara,” he said, towering over her by about a mile. “You know when it’s time to let go of a cover.”
“If it were your brother—”
“I’d stay alive to keep fighting for him.”
Air rushed from her lungs. “I’m not giving up on my sister.”
“Neither are we.”
“Help us find her from behind the scenes,” Luke suggested. “You’ll know everything that’s happening.”
“We’re in this all the way,” Royce promised. “We would be no matter what, but you’re with Blake. That makes you family.”
A rush of unfamiliar emotions all but doubled Kara over. She wasn’t sure what impacted her more. Her doubt about being with Blake after tonight’s events or the use of the word family. She had no family. She wasn’t sure she had Blake. She wasn’t sure she had Myla.
A loud moan coming from the other room was the escape Kara claimed. “I need to go check on Kyle.” It was lame but it was all she had.
Royce stared at her another few seconds and then stepped aside. Kara wasted no time darting away, and damn it, her eyes were burning. She didn’t even know what she was feeling, just that it was powerful and she couldn’t control it any more than anything else lately, it seemed. What was it about Walker men that did this to her?
Inside the next room, Kyle was nowhere in sight and she kept moving toward the bathroom, needing to do something, anything, to keep from crumbling. Rounding the doorway, she found Kyle sitting against the wall between the toilet and the sink, head against the wall, eyes shut, knees lifted.
“Go away,” he groaned without opening his eyes.
Kara went to the tub and sat down. “You were screaming for me a few minutes ago.”
His lashes lifted and he fixed her in a bloodshot stare. “I fluctuate between capable of throttling you one minute to fantasizing about it while hanging over the toilet.”
“At least you have something to occupy your mind,” she said mildly, reaching for a soda on the sink and squatting down in front of him. “Drink. It’ll help.”
“You did hear the part about me wanting to throttle you, right?”
“Yes, but you’re less intimidating than three Walker brothers in one room, so I’ll take my chances. Drink.”
His brow furrowed. “I’m not sure how to take that, but I think you just insulted me.” He reached for the drink and gulped down several swallows before setting the can on the floor beside him. “You drugged me and now you come in and play nursemaid. Feeling guilty?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “But someone had to save Blake from himself.” And suddenly it occurred to Kara to be angry at Kyle and Blake’s brothers for letting him go after Alvarez. “Nobody else was doing it. You all just let him chase his death wish.” She started to get up but Kyle captured her arm and she grimaced. “What is it with you men manhandling me?”
“You think I’d let him go in there if I thought he was going to do something stupid?”
“You did let him.”
“He has himself in check. If I didn’t think so, I would have tied him down myself rather than let him go. Do you know about Whitney?”
“Yes.”
“Do you care about Blake?”
“Yes,” she said, and her chest tightened with the words, with her fear that Blake would go after Alvarez and end up dead. “Yes, very much.”
“Then recognize that if you’re with Blake, you’re with his past. It’s a part of who he is. Think about what Alvarez killing you would do to him. You shouldn’t have gone tonight.”
“You don’t seem to get it, Kyle. If I hadn’t have gone, he would have killed Alvarez and himself in the process.”
“Before he met you, yes. Now, no. I’m not buying that. Protecting you and finding your sister gave him a reason to live.”
“You weren’t there.”
“Did he kill Alvarez?”
“No, but—”
“Did he have the chance?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then I’m right. He’s in check. Before meeting you, Alvarez would have been dead the instant Blake set eyes on him.”
“He wanted to. He almost did.”
“But he didn’t. You shouldn’t have been there. You’re too close to this. You saved him, Kara. You brought him back to us, which is exactly why none of us are going to let you destroy him again.” He paled and let go of her arm to lean over the toilet. “Go. Get out of here.”
Destroy him? How and why would she destroy him? Kara backed away from Kyle and sat back down on the edge of the tub, waiting to ask those questions. When he sank back against the wall she handed him a towel. “You okay?”
He glanced at her and snatched the towel. “Can’t a guy throw up in peace? Why are you still here?”
“I wouldn’t hurt Blake.”
“Then don’t get killed. You die, you’ll take him with you.”
“I’m a federal agent, Kyle. I’m going to be in danger.”
“Believe me, I’m aware of that and so is he.”
Her hands went to the tub, steadying herself. “You think I’m bad for him.”
“I think you’re the best thing that could have happened to him.”
Baffled, she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“He’s going to struggle with your job, but he’ll get through it—if you help him. But damn, woman, wake up. Alvarez killed Whitney. How do you think the idea of Alvarez killing you affects him? If you die, he’ll die with you. We’ll find your sister. I’ll find her. You have my word. I will not stop until I do.”
Kara blinked at the vehement declaration. This man whom she barely knew was vowing to save her sister. So were Blake’s brothers. And she believed them. She wasn’t alone. She didn’t have to take insane risks with no backup. Because of Blake. Kara pushed to her feet, realizing there was actually one big risk she had to take.
Without another word to Kyle, Kara rushed out of the bathroom and tracked a path to the other room, ready to tell Luke and Royce to get lost, only to find them gone. Blake sat on the edge of the mattress, fixing her with a tormented look that tore at her heart. She pulled the door shut behind her and rushed toward him, falling on her knees in front of him. She took a deep breath and then made her confession. “Blake, I…”
Chapter Five
“…I love you, and I’ve never said that to anyone. If you don’t—”
Blake slid his hands into Kara’s hair, pulling her lips to his, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, and she tasted like the love she’d proclaimed, like sweet surrender and a c
hance at happiness he never thought he’d know again. But no matter how much he wanted happiness to be as easy as a confession, it wasn’t.
He tore his mouth from hers, staring down at her, this woman who’d pulled him from a certain grave. She loved him and it was heaven, but it was also a hell he couldn’t escape. They couldn’t escape. His thumb stroked her cheek. “I love you, too, Kara, but you need to know what ‘more’ means with me.”
He watched relief wash over her expression, her body softening into his, as if she’d been on edge, as if she actually doubted his feelings. “Whatever you are, Blake,” she vowed, “whatever you have been or will be, I’m here. Like I’ve never been with anyone in my life.”
He wanted nothing more than those words, and to kiss her again, to make love to her and show her how much she meant to him, but it wasn’t that simple. He knew how messed up he was over Whitney and how deep that damage ran. How it had impacted not only who he was, but who he and Kara, would be together. He owed it to her to make sure she did, too.
Blake moved off the bed to join Kara on the floor. He moved behind her, his knees straddling her knees, so that she faced the bed, her back to his chest. He inhaled on regret, hating that for a few minutes, he was about to make her feel uncomfortable, but he had to do this. Without any preamble, no soft words, no seductive caresses, he tugged her dress up her body, over her head, and then tossed it away. Before her arms were even down, he reached for her bra and unhooked it, shoving it forward down her arms so she’d get rid of it. He wasn’t gentle. He wasn’t tender. He didn’t kiss her or caress her. He was what he’d been before her, what the hell of his life had made him. What she needed to fully understand.
Blake’s gaze skimmed a path over her body, his cock throbbing with the sight of her slender, perfect curves before settling on the thin strip of lace between the cheeks of her gorgeous backside. He reached for the delicate lace and he ripped it away. Kara gasped and he leaned forward, her hands gripping the sheets in front of her. His hands down beside hers, his mouth finding her ear. “I’m going to spank you, Kara.”
“What?” She gasped, trying to jerk around, but he had her pinned, pressed fully between him and the mattress.
“That’s right,” he said. “I’m going to spank you.”
“No,” she said, sounding urgent, almost panicked. “No. You aren’t.”
“Do you trust me, Kara?” he asked, resisting the urge to nibble on the delicate spot behind her ear. This wasn’t the time to be gentle. This wasn’t the time to show her how much he loved her. Not yet, but soon.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Blake, but—”
“There is no ‘but’. There is only trust or no trust.” The feel of her body pressed to his was driving him crazy and he curled his fingers around the sheets, forcing himself not to touch her. He couldn’t touch her. Not like this. Not until she understood what he was trying to tell her.
“I don’t understand why this is important.”
He didn’t miss the tremble of her voice, the shiver of her body against his. “It is,” he told her. “And I need you to say yes, Kara.”
Her head fell forward, the soft strands of her silky hair draping her face, and it took everything in him not to lean forward and inhale the sweet scent, to taste the salty sweetness of her skin. And he would taste her. Hell, he was going to lick every damn inch of her before this night was over. Just not right now. Right now he held his breath for her answer, the seconds ticking by like hours, until finally she whispered, “Yes. For you. Yes.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the relief flow through him, absorbing the impact of how much trust she’d just given to him, promising himself he would never take that for granted. “Lean forward on the bed and flatten your arms and hands on the mattress.”
She shook her head. “No. I can’t do that. I need some control. I need to stay upright.”
Yes. She needed control. That was part of his message, part of why he needed her to understand where he was at inside, and what he’d become. He covered her hands with his on the bed. “Then promise to keep your hands right here. No matter what, don’t move them.”
“Yes. Okay. I promise.”
He began to pull away but she grabbed his wrists, pulling him forward. “Wait. Will it hurt?”
This time he let himself be gentle, nuzzling her neck, trying to calm the panic in her voice. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know that.” But still she held onto his arms.
“Then let go, Kara.”
“Let go,” she repeated, as if the words weren’t quite making it to her brain. “Okay.” Slowly, her grip loosened and she released him.
Blake’s hands settled on her slender waist and traveled downward to cup her backside. She stiffened instantly and he began a gentle caress of her cheeks. He could almost feel her holding her breath, almost taste her anticipation. He leaned in, pressing his face to her face, drawing in the sweet floral scent of her, and demanding, “What are you thinking? Exactly what is in your head right this moment? Say it. Say it now.”
“Blake,” she protested.
He squeezed her cheeks. “Now, Kara, or I’ll spank you this instant.”
“Nothing,” she panted. “Everything. I don’t know what is about to happen. I don’t know what to expect. I can’t believe I’m doing this or you’re doing this, and—”
Blake turned her around to face him, her back against the end of the bed, his legs caging her. “That’s what I was after,” he said, his hands resting on her shoulders.
“What?” she asked, looking confused. “What you were after? I don’t understand.”
“I’m not going to spank you. I was never going to spank you. I just needed you to feel what you just felt. I wanted you to experience that moment when you could think of nothing but what came next. That moment when nothing else could find its way into your head. That’s the kind of escape I’ve used to get through these past two years. It’s the only way I survived and I got it however I could get it. I lived on the edge and I pushed every limit I could push. Kara, I need you to know that’s how far gone I was over Whitney, because that’s how just the idea of losing you makes me. Your job is going to make me insane and I’m going to be overbearing and impossibly protective. I’ll try not to be, but I’ll fail sometimes. I might fail more than I don’t. We’ll fight. We’ll probably fight a lot.”
“I can handle it.” Her hands went to his face. “We’ll get through it. I promise, though, you didn’t have to do the whole spanking thing. I’m going to pay you back for that.”
“Kara—”
“I can handle it, Blake.”
He covered her hands with his and pulled them down between them. “Can you? Because, Kara, I can’t let you go back undercover with Alvarez. I won’t let you.”
“I’m okay with that. My cover is blown, and—”
Blake kissed her, swallowing the rest of her words, drinking them in, claiming them as he wanted to claim her, as he would claim her. She was his and he had no intention of ever letting her go. No intention of anyone taking her from him. His hands caressed her back, over her ribcage to skim her breasts, and her soft whimper drove him crazy.
He cupped her breasts, pushing them together to lean down and lick one nipple and then the next. Her fingers tunneled into his hair. “What do I have to do to get you naked?” she whispered. “Please tell me now.”
Blake’s lips curved and he glanced up at her, suckling one of the stiff peaks and then twirling his tongue around it. Her lashes fluttered. “Blake…” she panted, and then moaned.
He laced his fingers into her hair, hungrily kissing her one last time before pushing away from her to stand up to undress. Kara moved off of the floor, sitting on the edge of the mattress, her breasts high, her nipples tight little buds. His cock pulsed at the sight she made, urgency driving him to shove down his pants and boxers. And Kara seemed to sense his need, mercilessly egging him on, her beautiful green eyes sliding over his body
, settling boldly on the thick pulse of his erection, and Blake groaned with the impact.
Blake closed the distance between them and went down on the mattress on top of her, laughing with a flashback of Denver. “What’s so funny?” she asked, her fingers lacing together at the back of his neck, and biting her lip as he settled thickly between her thighs.
“You drugged me,” he said incredulously. “How did I fall in love with the woman who drugged me?”
“I got your attention, didn’t I?” she asked, smiling, her voice thick with desire and sexy as hell.
He slid his cock along the seam of her sex, back and forth, until she was panting. “Do I have your attention?” he murmured, nipping her ear.
“Yes,” she whispered. “You most definitely have my attention.”
Blake rolled to his back and molded her on top of him. “You let me take your control a few minutes ago. I’ll give it to you now.”
Surprise slid over her face and she pressed on his shoulders, lifting herself so that her eyes met his. “No,” she said, suddenly serious. “I gave it to you.” She slid off of him, curling herself at his side, her fingers stroking his cheek. “I don’t need it. I just need you.”
Blake pressed her to her back, settling on top of her, staring down at her in wonder. He knew what a control freak she was. He knew how much she valued control. And he knew this was her way of telling him she could handle what was before them. That she was with him all the way and, if it was possible, he’d just fallen more in love with her. “We’ll share it,” he promised her. “We’ll share it, Kara.”
Her mouth curved playfully. “I’d like that very much. Can I tie you up and have my way with you?”
“Only if I can tie you up and have my wicked way with you.”
“You already did that. It’s my turn next.”
“Let me give you some incentive to give me an extra turn,” he suggested, stroking his cock along her sex. Teasing them both, and then driving into her, burying himself inside her, where he planned to spend a hell of a lot of the rest of his life. “How is that for incentive?”
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