In the meantime, I’m finding me again. I’ve decided not to go back to work at Matthews and Associates. Connor tainted that dream for me. Maybe that will change. But for now, I’ve set bigger aspirations for myself. I applied to law school. I want to be able to fight for victims like me who need a voice. Stacey’s kept me busy helping with baby shower planning, and I’m loving every minute of it, even though I have to stomach Rebecca.
I dry my hands and leave the bathroom, passing my old room. I still can’t believe Levi and I live together. One of my many childhood fantasies was us playing house in a cute pink house with a picket fence made of candy canes and flowers blooming cotton candy. Our nights would consist of us on our swing, made to fit only us and we would swing back and forth as we ate our sugared flowers. Geez, my poor little self would just die over in sugar heaven to know where her older self would end up. No cotton candy flowers, but the dessert Levi serves is way better.
For old time’s sake, I take a peek in my room. Laughing at some of the missing items on the wall, one being my old-school boy band poster Levi stole, which still hangs up in his place—our place. I tried telling him he could take it down, but he refused. He was so passionate about keeping it up, it was actually too cute. So, it stayed. It wasn’t until Chase took a shot at it that I finally put my foot down, defending the poster and my man.
“Jesus, dude, tell me I’ve walked into the wrong place.”
“No can do, man. Chicks dig boy band posters. You should take a tip out of my book for once.” I hear Levi as he pops open the fridge, two beer bottles clanking together. Levi’s having the boys over for guys’ night. I’m running late to meet with Stacey, and I bet he thinks I’m already gone since he’s being typical Chase, running his mouth.
“Dude, I’m about to put a missing sign for your balls on a milk carton.”
“I think it’s kinda cute. Levi gets to stare at his competition,” Kipley says, knowing how much I was in love with them as a kid.
Chase’s laugh is obnoxious, bouncing off the walls, and I think I hear a back slap. “Oh, she brought her masturbation poster over. Wow, didn’t know you weren’t doing it for—shit!”
“Mention one more time anything about my sister and that shit, and I’ll punch you harder.”
“Jesus, I wasn’t saying it as a bad thing. Wouldn’t mind watching little Hannah—fuck! What’s gotten into you two! Violence is not the answer, man!”
I grab my purse and leave the bedroom. When I round the corner, Chase’s eyes bug out at the sight of me. “Oh shit.”
“Yeah, oh shit is right.” The room gets silent as I sashay right up to Chase, his mouth slowly dropping open.
“Hey, uh…Han. Didn’t realize you were here. Great seeing you. New shirt? Lovely color.” Kipley chokes out a laugh, while Levi tries to hide his smirk. They all knew this moment was coming. “For real, why the crazy eye? Please don’t kill me. Levi, help, man.”
“No way. You’re on your own here,” Levi says, putting his hands up. His smirk makes it hard to keep a straight face.
“For real? You’re going to let her...wait, what are you going to do to me? Jesus, you scare me. Don’t hurt me.” He covers his face just as I make it to him.
“Chase, I’ve spent half my life taking your shit. Not. Any. More.” With each word, I jab him in the chest. With each flinch comes another burst of laughter from my brother. “Today, it stops.” I hit him with another jab. “No more Hannah Banana.” Jab. “No more calling me little.” Jab. “No more poking fun at anything I wear, eat, enjoy—and that includes my boy band poster. I know for a fact you went to that concert with Tricia Beckett in college where you screamed like a little girl, singing every single lyric.”
His mouth hits the ground. “How did you—?”
“Guess it pays to be annoying and nosey. Should I mention the shirt you—”
“Okay, you win!”
“Good!” I smile. “Now, if you behave, I’ll keep that little tidbit to myself. Amongst all the other things my little ears have heard over the years.” A snicker falls off Levi’s lips, and I can’t contain my own humor. But then I do something that surprises everyone. I reach out and hug him. Chase becomes deathly still in my embrace. A few moments pass, and he relaxes, putting his arms around me, returning the gesture. “Thank you for saving him,” I whisper, resting my head against his chest.
That’s when he hugs me tighter. “Nah, I was just doing my brotherly duty. I think it’s you who truly saved him.”
I smile at the memory. Chase’s and my relationship took a complete turn that day. He still pokes fun, and I still threaten, but there’s a new understanding between us—appreciation and respect.
I walk over to my dresser, opening the second drawer. Behind some old nightgowns, I stretch my hand and reach for the hidden notebook. Sentiment hits me as I open the worn cover, flipping through years of my childhood doodles. Man, did I master the heart shape at a young age. Hannah Constance Dent—
“Hope you’re not thinking about moving back in here and leaving me.”
My hands fly up, slamming the notebook closed. I twist to see Levi standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Oh no, you didn’t…just caught me off guard.” He pushes off the wall and enters my room. Panic shoots through me, and I’m not sure what to do with the notebook. “I was just….” Ugh, I know I’m caught. “I was just looking at my old notebook of ‘I love Levi’ drawings.” He comes up behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist, and leans his head over my shoulder.
“Well, come on, show me.” His warm breath skates against my ear. I take a large breath, pushing down the embarrassment. Closing my eyes, I flip the page open. I keep them shut, unsure which page it opens to, knowing every single one is a bit overkill on the crush status. “Wow. You really nailed the whole heart thing. Is that us kissing?”
Gah! I shut it and turn in his arms. “This was a long time ago. I was a kid.”
“So, what are you saying? You don’t double heart me now?” Ugh…why didn’t I throw this away?
“Yes…I mean, no. I mean…yes! I still double heart you. Probably add another heart. It’s just embarrassing, okay?”
His lips curl into a smile that melts me. “I think we look cute kissing. And if you care to know, I double heart you too.” I feel his smile when his lips touch mine, basking in the softness of his mouth as he takes his time kissing me and parting my mouth so our tongues can dance in a slow rhythm against one another. This is the moment I live for. The reason why I fight. Why I refuse to give into the dark path Connor Miller tried to send me down. When our breathing becomes labored, he pulls away, his eyes mirroring mine. Happy. Content. Perfect.
“Come on. Let’s go whip Chase’s ass in volleyball so we can leave. You’ve been torturing me in this bathing suit. I really need to take you home and get you out of it.”
I take his hand, and we walk side by side through the house, until he’s opening the sliding glass door for me. As we exit into the backyard, I spot Stacey.
“Hey!” I boast, excited to see her. Levi releases my hand, and I reach out and give her a hug, trying to work around her growing belly. “How are you and my little niece or nephew feeling?” I pull away.
“Today’s a good day. No sickness or food cravings, so Kip’s happy. He gets to chill without running all over town. There’s this diamond in the rough Chinese place across town. It’s become a staple in my and the baby’s appetite—”
“Get out! I didn’t know you were going to be here!” That voice. My eyes roll so far in the back of my head, I hope Levi is still standing behind me to catch them. I let Stacey go, and turn back, seeing Rebecca licking her lips at my man. “It’s been too long.” She goes in for a hug, and I’ve never loved Levi more when he dodges it.
“Oh hell no.” He jumps to the side.
Her eyes widen in confusion, then they lock on me. “Oh, you two are still a thing? Wow, thou
ght that was just the whole pity thing.”
Okay. That’s it!
I take a step, ready to pummel her, when Stacey reaches for my shoulder, stopping me. “Actually, Han. I got this.” Stacey moves me to her side and takes center stage. “You know what, Rebecca? I’ve had enough of you and your tacky insults to my sister. Hannah is the nicest, most considerate person I’ve ever known. And Levi here is one lucky man to have her. And if you cannot show an ounce of respect, then you need to leave.”
Rebecca may look shocked. No one’s sure since her face is filled with so much Botox, it’s stuck in the same position. “Stace, are you serious? It was just a joke. I mean, come on, no one thought they would last—”
“That’s it!” Stacey’s raised voice makes us all jump. “I’ve had enough! I’ve put up with your stuck-up attitude, your rude comments about every single person you come in contact with, and I’ve even sucked it up and allowed you to take part in my shower, which for the record, I do not need my lips done for…”
“No she didn’t,” Kip hisses.
“…but I’m done. I won’t stand here another second and listen to you say another hurtful thing about my family.”
Rebecca clicks her tongue, stunned at the way Stacey’s talking to her. “Oh em gee, Stace. What’s your problem? It was just a suggestion. You’re seriously not going to take her side over mine, are you?”
“Yes,” four male voices reply for her. She gasps, her mouth hanging open, staring down each and every guy. Flipping her hair, she goes back to addressing Stacey. “Girl, it’s fine. Let’s get out of here. I’m actually seeing this great guy who owns an Italian place down the way, Bill’s Pub. We can—”
“Did you just say Bill’s?” Stacey’s eyes pop wide open.
“She just said Bill’s,” Kipley confirms.
“I knew there was a reason why I never liked your plastic ass,” Chase chimes in.
“Get out.”
“What?” Rebecca deadpans.
“I knew I was finally done with you the second you dared walk into my family’s home and insult my sister for the last time. But you just confirmed it the second you mentioned Bill’s. Everyone knows Savino’s is the best. Get. Out.”
Rebecca struggles, but manages to compose herself enough to whip around and storm off.
“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!” Ben yells.
We all stare, until we hear the swift slam of the front door. “Well, I think that went well.” Stacey is the first to speak. A little shell-shocked myself, I turn and stare at her, making sure she’s okay.
“I’m sorry, you didn’t have to—”
“I did. I should have done that a long time ago.” She eliminates the few feet separating us and brings me into her arms. Being difficult with the basketball in her belly, I lean forward, wrapping my arms around her. “I’m sorry for never sticking up for you in the past. I’m a horrible sister-in-law. I hope you can forgive me.”
I squeeze her tighter. “You don’t owe me anything, but thank you.”
We stay like that for some time before Chase, being Chase, ruins the moment. “This would be a lot cooler if you two didn’t have your tops on—shit!”
Hannah
Two months later…
Go, go, go…
I’m running so fast, I’m about to trip over my own two feet. The weather today is fierce as the angry rain pours down in thick drops, pelleting my face. The wind adding to the ferocity flips my umbrella inside out. I jump over a puddle as I wrestle with the wires, snapping it back in place.
When I was a kid, I loved the rain. I would sit outside during storms every chance I got and look up at the millions of raindrops, trying to count them as they cascaded from the sky. My mother would chase after me, dragging me into the house, claiming I would get sick being so careless. One time, she threatened to ground me until I was well into my eighties if I went back outside, so I locked myself in my room and opened my bedroom window, sticking my head out as far as I could to catch the raindrops on my tongue. Of course, I stuck out a smidge too far and fell out of my window. Thankfully, I landed on the awning, leaving less of a drop before I bounced off, but still managed to break my arm.
Every time it rains, I think of that memory. How distraught my mom was. My brother’s “You never listen” gripes. The book I found lying on my bed one day a few weeks later, since I was indeed grounded ’til eternity and stuck in the house. A book. Fun Rain Facts for Kids. I didn’t know why it was there or who put it there, but I sat down, and before I knew it, I had consumed the entire two hundred pages. I spent the next two days walking around my house telling everyone simple rain facts. Did you know rain has a smell? The wettest place in the world is a state in India. Did you know raindrops don’t actually fall in the shape of a teardrop? Everyone wanted to murder me.
But that’s not what I remember the most. It was one day when Kip and Levi came home from school, racing past everyone to go do what they did in their top-secret treehouse. It happened so fast, I may have been the only one to hear it, but as Levi passed me, he leaned in and said, “Did you know not all raindrops that fall from the sky reach the ground?” And just as fast, he was gone.
My world stopped. Time didn’t tick for eons as I allowed his question to sink in.
It was him.
He gave me the book.
It’s crazy how the past takes flight in your mind and a different vision appears as life takes a different course. Simple memories, like the book, remind me how life can be funny sometimes. I may have loved Levi Dent my whole life, but in a strange way, I think he loved me too. There was a shift in the universe the day Levi walked through our door. As if he was always meant to be with us. Be a part of our family. Be a part of my heart.
I continue to fight the rain as the thunder above rumbles across the sky, lightening illuminating the thick, dark clouds. I finally reach our building and toss my broken umbrella into the trash, finding cover inside the lobby. With each step, I soak the floor, sprinting to the elevators.
My heart beats like a heavy drum against the envelope inside my jacket pocket. With each floor that passes, worry sinks in. Uncertainty. The unknown. When it stops on our floor and opens, I take off running down the hallway until my key is pressing inside the lock and practically fall inside.
“Levi!” I shout his name. I struggle to peel off my jacket soaked to my skin. Tugging at my arms, I become free, pulling the envelope from the pocket. “Levi?” I call again, shoving my soaking wet hair out of my face. Where is he? He should be home. He said he was going to be home. I called him and told him I had something very important to talk about. But he said so did he.
Breathe, Hannah.
I’m in such a frenzy, I slip on something on the floor, thinking it’s just the water dripping off me. “Shoot.” I balance myself. When I look down, I realize it’s not water. “Shoot.” My eyes slowly lift up, following the trail of rose pedals, until my eyes find two feet. I gaze up and up, until they connect with Levi, who’s leaning against the wall.
“Did you know not all raindrops are made of water?” he speaks first.
My heart stops. The way he casually rests against the wall, his strong arms crossed over his built chest, the way his hair has grown out some, brushed back in perfect, full dark waves. A hurricane of emotions strike me. I’m not sure if it’s the extra weight of water threatening to tip me over or the way his eyes pull me in.
“Did you know in a single minute, a billion tons of rain can fall to the Earth?” I reply with another fact, unsure what else to do or say. Neither of us move. We simply stand there, our hearts resonating for one another. The silence becomes too much for me, so I’m the first to speak. “I got my letter.”
He still doesn’t move, and it worries me. “And what did it say?”
I begin to chew on my lower lip. Afraid. Excited. My answer will be a game changer for us, and I’m not sure which way he’s going to play. “I got accepted.” The words are sh
aky off my tongue. I wait for his response. Not showing his cards, he slowly pushes off the wall and walks toward me. Each step causes a vibration down my body. I love this man with everything I have to give, and if he doesn’t want this…
When he reaches me, I’m dizzy from holding my breath. The scent of his cologne offers me the safety net I need, but he doesn’t touch me. He’s so close, I bask in the warmth from his body, aching for his arms to comfort me. Answer me. Too much time passes. His silence becomes suffocating. His eyes lock me in this possessive hold, and another wave of dizziness hits me. The intensity of his stare worries me. “Please say something.” There’s anxiety in my soft tone, but still, he doesn’t ease my worry. His cool detachment has me in a sheer panic. His hand lifts and brushes against my cheek. In a slow manner, he bends down. “Oh sweet Jesus, what are you…?”
“I told you, wherever you go, I go.” He reaches for my hand. “I’ve wanted so much in life. But nothing compares to how much I want you. How it feels to be so addicted to you, I know I’ll never get enough. I love you. But there’s no way to truly explain how deep that love runs. So, I’ll say this again and again, until those worried eyes fade away. Where you go, I go.” He stops to retrieve something in his pocket. Pulling it out, my eyes take note, my face not wide enough for how big my smile is. “I know you’re still not ready. We have so much more to take on before I make you Mrs. Dent, but for now, I want to make you a promise. This is it. This is us. Only us. My life starts and ends with you. So, what happens next, we do it together. Understand?”
Tears rain down my face as I stare into the eyes of a man put on this universe for me. To love me. To make me whole. His eyes shine with promise, and as I search into the windows of his soul, I see our future. The one even my seven-year-old self couldn’t have dreamed of. “So, you’re really willing to pack up and move? Leave everyone we love just so I can go to law school?”
Chicks, Man Page 30
