by Karen Klyne
Kim stood and went over to the mirror above the fireplace. She touched it gently. “It’s beautiful.”
They cuddled up on the sofa and watched a Christmas comedy. At some stage, Phil changed her position and lay with her head on Kim’s lap. Kim stroked her hair, and she made a purring sound.
When the film finished, they settled for an early night. On the way up, Phil grabbed one of the gifts, the fur lined handcuffs. “These’ll beat string any day.”
Kim wiggled her eyebrows, and they raced up the stairs, giggling.
In the early morning hours, as Phil pulled Kim close and closed her eyes, she contemplated the wonderful day. Was it comparable to the one’s she usually spent with Cass? It was a crazy thought, because the truth was, this had been so much better.
Chapter Eighteen
Kim yawned and stretched. Phil’s arm across her breasts was a dead weight, even though it was a nice one. She needed to go to the bathroom, so she carefully lifted Phil’s arm and rolled out of bed. When she returned, Phil had propped her pillows up and lay there smiling.
“What a night. Sex beats presents anytime. Talking of sex, did I mention that it always makes me hungry?”
“Yes. I do believe your appetite for everything is insatiable. I’ll make us bacon sarnies later. Right now, I need tea.” She left briefly, brought two mugs of tea back to bed, and snuggled up next to Phil.
Phil put an arm around her. “Did I tell you I’ve booked us in for lunch at the Oak?”
“Great. I don’t feel like cooking today.” She glanced at the clock. “We’d better make a move, otherwise we won’t fit in all the meals you’ve planned.”
Phil kissed her hard on the lips. “Talking of moves, I have some excellent ones in mind.”
Kim pushed her away. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later.”
They showered, dressed, ate their bacon roll, and then Kim picked up her iPad. “Did I tell you I wrote to my mum?”
Phil hugged her. “That’s great. I’m so pleased. Have you had a reply yet?”
“No. Well, I say no, but we’ve been out of touch for the last few days.”
Phil smiled and dug her phone out from her bag. “Shall we sit and check our email then?”
Kim nodded. They took their mugs of coffee and sat on the sofa. Kim opened her tablet. There were messages from Rick, Iz and Juan, and her mother. She quickly sent greetings to them, and then opened the one from her mother. “Mum’s replied.”
“And? Do you want to share it with me?”
Kim read it through first, then read it aloud.
My dearest Kim,
I was so relieved to receive your email, and what a pleasure it was. I sent several emails, but they were all returned, and I was getting a little worried. All is well now. I’m sorry I didn’t reply immediately. Pierre and I took a short holiday to Marrakesh, and we’ve been in the middle of nowhere in a Bedouin village. It was quite an experience but of course there was no Wi-Fi throughout our journey. Back to civilisation. Pierre is off on a business trip, hence our trip and spending time together beforehand.
I’m so happy you’ve settled in Cauthwell again. It’s a lovely village, and I’m sure it will serve you well. At last, you sound contented. Everything seems to be falling into place. I’d love to hear your voice again. Our telephone number hasn’t changed.
With love and best wishes,
Mum xxxxxxx
Tears welled in Kim’s eyes. Thanks to Phil, she’d had the courage to write. Perhaps Phil was right, it was time to put the past where it belonged.
Phil took hold of her hand. “I’m so happy for you. Will you call her?”
“Yes. I might leave it a couple of days, though.”
“That’s fine. At least the door is open.”
The letter was a lot to take in, but it was high time she moved on. She rolled her shoulders. “Have you got any interesting mail?”
“Nothing much. A few from old acquaintances and one from Cass.”
Kim nodded. If Phil wanted to tell her anything more, she would. Otherwise she’d have to wait.
Phil looked up. “Cass would like to meet you.”
“I’d love to, though I doubt I’ll live up to her expectations.”
Phil frowned. “Why do you say that?”
Kim shrugged. “I’m not from London. And I’m probably nothing like the women she’s used to seeing you with.”
“Honestly, she’s really down to earth. You’ll like her. I’ll arrange something for the New Year.”
Kim nodded. She didn’t think Cass really wanted to meet her. And what about her girlfriend, Rebecca? They’d both hoped Phil would get together with their friend. Instead, she’d opted for someone from the suburbs, which wasn’t half as thrilling. Still, she’d have to overcome that obstacle. “Hey, shouldn’t we get going? We’ll be late for lunch.”
The Oak was full, possibly because the Pheasant was closed and wouldn’t re-open until the end of January. They plumped for the beef and Yorkshire pudding, but it hadn’t been cut freshly off the roast. However, the company was the best, and on this occasion the food was secondary. It was a good atmosphere, and they departed in high spirits.
Instead of going across the roundabout and straight ahead, Phil took a left. That was the direction she’d seen Phil heading in the night when she was supposed to be with her friend. Mind you, there had been an explanation for that, apart from the direction. Kim didn’t ask any questions. Phil looked a little pensive, and Kim didn’t want to intrude on her thoughts. She’d know soon enough what this was about, and she was content to enjoy the easy silence between them. Phil drove for a couple of minutes and then pulled into a lay-by.
“I have a little surprise for you.” She reached into the glove compartment and came out with a scarf. “I’m not going to do anything sexual, but I need to blindfold you.”
Kim put her hand to her mouth and laughed. “Why not?”
“It’s a thought, but on this occasion, no. Trust me.”
“I’ve heard that one before.” Kim sighed. “Okay. Go ahead.”
Phil tied the scarf loosely around her eyes. She drove off, and it wasn’t long before they came to a halt. Kim was quite turned on by this time and wouldn’t have put up much of a struggle if Phil had ravaged her in a farmer’s field or something, no matter how cold it was outside. She heard her open her door, and then cool air brushed her cheek when she opened Kim’s door. She helped her out and guided her up a pathway. She heard a key in a lock, and then Phil took her hand.
“There’s a step.”
Kim crossed over the doorway, and Phil led her further in. She took a deep breath. There was a fresh aroma. She was walking on a hard-wood floor and suspected it was newly laid. There was also a smell of fresh paint. What an adventure. They turned to the left and came to a standstill. Phil removed the scarf.
“Where am I?” Kim whispered.
Phil didn’t answer. Kim glanced around. She was disorientated and blinked a few times until her eyes adjusted to the dim daylight. She recognised it but couldn’t quite pinpoint it yet. The décor was extravagant, to say the least. Several bright rugs covered small areas across the oak flooring. The furniture was a mix of both modern and antique, and the large sofas were scattered with luxurious cushions. On the wall above the log burning fire was an oversize piece of art. Even in her confused state, she had to admit it was high impact and all looked rather chic. She stared out of the patio doors, and her stomach dropped. There was the tree. Her tree. It was her father’s house. It was the Chase. How could this be? She’d sold the place at auction. She stared at Phil, confused, and held on to a chair to keep from falling. She’d never thought to be in this house again. “I don’t understand?”
Phil moved closer. She reached for Kim’s hand, but she moved away. She stepped back, looking a little wary.
“I bought it. I loved it from the moment I set eyes on it. I had no idea we’d be together at the time, but I knew I wanted this place.
Cass re-designed the interior. That’s what we’ve been doing for the last month. That’s why I was so busy. I wanted to surprise––”
“Shit.” Kim couldn’t grasp it and tuned her out. She rubbed the sides of her temples. “You’ve certainly done that! Why didn’t you tell me?” Kim stamped her foot. “Did somebody else buy it on your behalf at the auction? Aren’t there laws about that?”
Phil frowned. “Are you accusing me of being unethical?”
“You know what they say…if the cap fits.” Kim rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand, irritation and confusion swamping her. “And that’s not the point. This was my home. Mine and Dad’s. It holds memories. And some of them are bad. Christ, my dad died in this house. How did you think I was going to feel? And all you can say is you wanted this house. It’s all about you, isn’t it?”
Phil sniffed and looked down at the floor. “We weren’t together, and anyway––”
Kim banged her hand on the glass table. “You should have told me. You knew I wanted to leave that part of my life behind, and yet you went ahead and bought it and never said a single word.”
Phil shrugged. “Cass said you’d be mad. But if you’ll just hear me out—”
“Cass shouldn’t have to tell you. You’re a grown woman, and you’re supposed to care about me. The fact that you two even discussed it means you knew I’d have a problem with it, but you didn’t care enough to worry about it. You’ve gone behind my back right from the start. You’ve kept things from me and gone your own sweet way. You’ve betrayed my trust…as if I don’t exist. Did you really think I’d be excited to be here? That we could have breakfast, hell, have sex, in the place that brings me so much pain? You’re selfish and thoughtless.”
“Thanks for that. Unethical and selfish.” Phil sighed. “Kim, I’m sorry it bothers you. But I wanted this place, and I don’t need permission…”
Kim marched towards the door and turned around. “Do you know…I thought we had something more meaningful…but I’m just a casual fling like all the others. I’m glad I found out before it was too late.” Kim pulled the door open and slammed it behind her.
***
Phil collapsed on the sofa with her head in her hands. Tears streamed down her cheeks in torrents.
Lots of people had a very low opinion of estate agents. Somebody once told her that the qualifications you needed were degrees in horse and second-hand car trading and to have served a few years as a politician. There weren’t many estate agents like that, thank God, but she did know a few.
But damn it, she wasn’t one of them. There was nothing devious about the purchase. Even Alan didn’t know about it. That wasn’t a pre-condition. It was her business and no one else’s. Anyway, Kim wasn’t even in Cauthwell when Phil had bought the house. She’d been in Spain.
Huh. Unethical. She knew that her ethics were only a small part of the big picture. She hadn’t been able to tell Kim the whole story, things had gone bad so quickly, but still, it was true that Phil had re-written the script to get herself off the hook.
She walked from room to room. The house was stunning. What was the point, though? The bubble had burst, and there was nobody to share the joy with. Maybe she should have told her before? No, she’d have got exactly the same response, and anyway, why should she have to tread gently? It was her life, right? So why was she crying her eyes out? She should be happy to be free again. There were plenty of women out there to have a good time with, women who wouldn’t care about the memories her new home held.
But they weren’t Kim. She gave Phil new meaning to her life. All this time she’d spent protesting, and yet deep down, she knew she wanted more. She wanted what Cass and Rebecca had, and she wanted it with Kim.
Once upon a time, they’d agreed they’d communicate if there were any misunderstandings, but Phil had crossed a line, and it was the end before it had barely begun. She took some deep breaths. How could she live here now? She wanted to run far away from Cauthwell and never return.
She poured herself a large brandy and knocked most of it back. She pressed Cass’s number.
“Hey, babe. It’s good to hear your voice.” There was some shuffling as Cass moved around. “We’ve just got rid of Rebecca’s parents. They’ve been here since the twenty-third! Can you believe that? I’ve only spent a few hours with them before. They’re nice, but so parochial,” she whispered. “Anyway, how are you? How did Christmas go?”
Phil sniffled and barely managed to keep her voice from cracking. “Christmas went well. Today, not so well. You were right, and I was wrong. She’s furious. I’ve lost her, Cass, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Can you talk it out? Like, go after her right now and set things right?”
Phil pictured the look on Kim’s face and heard her words again. Selfish and thoughtless. “That wouldn’t be a good idea.”
There was a long pause before Cass answered. “Pack your bags, get on a train, and come and spend New Year with us. We’ll sort it out and figure out how you can make this right.”
She breathed in deeply, and there was a catch in her throat. Phil stuttered. “I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me, Cass.”
“Listen, we’ll work through things. Get your arse over here pronto.”
Phil gave a small laugh. “Thanks, buddy.”
The following day she reserved a ticket to London and emailed Cass to say she’d be arriving on the thirtieth. She hoped Cass could produce miracles, though she didn’t think she deserved one. She’d royally fucked up, and this time, her actions had real consequences.
God. Three more days until she could escape. She wasn’t sure how she’d get through it, but with the aid of her well-stocked liquor cabinet, she thought she’d just about cope.
***
Kim only had a light jacket on. It was bloody cold, but she hadn’t thought about that when she’d slammed the door in Phil’s face. She made a fist and bit into her finger. How could Phil have done such a thing? She supposed Phil could do anything if she wanted to. And she had. Shit, all she wanted to do was get home. She stuck her hand in her pocket. No phone. She thought she’d die from heartache, but now she was going to die from hypothermia. A few minutes later, a car drove past her then came to a halt. She looked around, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. She contemplated which way to run. The car reversed, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Was it a taxi?
The young guy wound his window down. “You look frozen. I’m on my way to Brooking. Can I drop you off somewhere?”
Kim had never heard of the place. “Is it anywhere near Cauthwell?”
He turned his palms over. “Not really, but it is Christmas, so I could take a diversion.” He opened the car door. “Hop in.”
It was risky, jumping into a car with a stranger. What about that taxi guy she’d read about who drugged his passengers? Get in, freeze, or find herself walking in the dark. It was an easy choice. “Thanks.”
He chatted to her about his busy schedule over the festive period and about how he was going home and taking a few days off with his girlfriend.
“By the way, what the hell were you thinking, walking without a coat?”
“I had a row with my…partner and stormed out. I didn’t think.”
“If I could have a pound for every family argument over Christmas, I’d be a bloody rich guy.” He slowed down. “Which way?”
“Left. Then we’re there.”
He pulled up outside her gate. She thought about inviting him in for a drink, but you could never tell these days. “Hang on, I’ll just pop inside and get some money.”
He waved a hand. “Nah. It’s Christmas.”
She insisted on taking his card, thanked him a million times, and then waved him off. She’d certainly been lucky with that one. There was a god after all. Had Phil even given any thought to the fact that Kim had left on foot? Probably not. She was probably already looking for some conquest to share her new bedroom with. Kim unlocked the door and walked in. She’d
never been so happy to see the inside of her home. She made herself a strong black coffee and sat on the sofa. The sofa where she and Phil spent so much time together. Not anymore. That soufflé had collapsed. She looked around at the presents and wrapping paper strewn around. The remnants of what was a happy day. She felt sick. The bile rose in her throat, and she tried to swallow it down. Then the tears fell, and she sobbed like a baby. She touched the necklace, the present from Phil. She couldn’t keep it. Not now, not after what she’d done. She fiddled with the clasp, and eventually it fell from her neck. She placed it back in its box.
She stared at her iPad. Oh, how she wished she could talk to someone. Anyone. Iz? No, why ruin their holidays? Rick? No. He’d possibly say he’d have done the same as Phil, and that it was just business, after all. Jan? After all she’d been through, she didn’t need more drama. No. She was drawn to the email from her mother. She pressed reply and stared at the blank page, then wrote.
Hi Mother,
Thanks for your letter. You mentioned that Pierre was away. Does that mean you’re on your own? I considered ringing you, and I’ve thought about seeing you. There’s so much that’s been left unsaid. Perhaps it’s time to talk? Right now, I could use some motherly advice.
Kim pressed the send button and realised she hadn’t even put her name to the letter. Her mind was in a turmoil. After all that had happened, she couldn’t think straight. She stared at the inbox as if by magic something would come back immediately. It didn’t. Perhaps her mother was spending the holidays with friends? She hadn’t got a clue.
However, it didn’t take more than fifteen minutes before there was a reply.
My darling Kim,
You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear those words. I want to see you. I need to see you. I’m overjoyed that you’re feeling the same way. I’ve just checked, and there’s a flight from Leeds to Paris on the twenty-eighth. Is that too soon? To think, we could spend New Year together, wouldn’t that be wonderful? Of course, it would be my treat. Please say yes.
