But when the fae finally fell into step behind him, he was a little pleased to hear Boreas say, “Damn, that dragon is strong.”
If it meant protecting his mate, Chad could be anything.
Chapter 15
Isabella was quiet as she sat on her hands on a comfy couch in the study, watching Chadwick pace furiously in front of her.
His hands were clasped behind his back, and a lock of chocolate-brown hair had fallen over his forehead.
Pacing like this, he looked so very human. Perhaps that’s what she liked about him. Despite being a paranormal, he seemed so very normal and safe.
It was hard to match up with the way he’d made Zareth turn into a sniveling heap of pain.
Chadwick was frightening when he wanted to be.
The fae were sitting in various chairs around the room, all of them watching her and waiting for an explanation.
“Why is he hunting you?” Boreas finally asked, never one to pull punches.
Isabella sighed. “I told you I don’t think he is.”
“But you won’t tell us anything about him.”
“I can’t,” she said. “Besides, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” Ivar said. “As princes of order, it is our job to fight the princes of chaos, and we need to know who this one is.”
“You didn’t recognize him?” Chadwick asked.
All of the fae shook their heads.
“Isabella, I don’t want to call the oracle, but you’ll put us all in danger if you don’t tell us your real history,” Chadwick said.
She stood, her hands clenched into fists, as tears bit the corners of her eyes. She’d never felt so trapped. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything or put anyone in danger. But my past isn’t any of your business.”
There was silence in the room as everyone watched her, considering her words.
She still couldn’t believe that Zareth might actually be after her. There was no way he would want her after letting her go.
“I’m here to help you adjust to the human world,” she said tightly. “I don’t have to dig into my past and lay my pain out for you. And if it’s so unsafe, then I’ll leave, and no one here has to be in danger trying to protect me.”
She stormed toward the exit, but as she reached the door leading out, frost suddenly appeared, rapidly spreading in beautiful crystalline structures until the door was totally sealed shut.
She let out a sigh of frustration and turned to see Boreas still in a relaxed, splayed position on a chaise lounge.
His eyes, however, were burning. “You have to be kidding if you think we’re going to let you leave unprotected.”
“Agreed,” Flint said. “I’m not afraid of any chaos fae.” He sent her a warm smile. “And I don’t need to know your past in order to know that guy needs a beatdown.”
She exhaled slowly, glancing at the frozen door once again. She looked at Chadwick, who was leaning against the windowsill, looking honestly lost, as if he had no idea what to do.
It wasn’t a look she was used to seeing on him.
“I have to call the oracle to see what to do next. I’m sorry, Bella,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked to the door on the other side of the room.
Boreas didn’t freeze that one, and Chad left, his footsteps echoing on the marble outside the study.
She knew Chadwick wouldn’t be able to just let this go. Not when it might endanger everyone around him, including her.
She slumped back on a couch, staring at the ceiling and focusing on the delicate whirls of woodwork high above her.
She felt the couch bounce as someone sat down. She jumped when she realized it was Flint, wondering if he was up to shenanigans again.
Instead, he simply put out a hand. “Here.”
She sighed. “Why?”
“I just want to show you something. Take my hand. I promise I won’t grab you and that you can take it back at any time.”
She sighed and put her hand softly on top of his. To her surprise, a soft, warm feeling emanated from where he touched her.
She wasn’t attracted to Flint, though she knew most women (who weren’t attracted to an annoying purple dragon) would find him devastatingly gorgeous. His touch didn’t excite her like Chadwick’s did, shooting straight down to her toes.
But it was warm, and it felt like the soothing heat was spreading in little tendrils, calming her down.
Just slightly.
Flint pulled his hand back, looking reluctant. “I don’t want Chadwick to kill me, so I should probably stop there.”
“Why would he kill you?” She looked down at her hand, wondering what had been done to her.
Flint leaned back on the couch. “He pulled me aside the day I pulled you on my lap and gave me a verbal lashing I’ll never forget. Told all of us to keep our hands off you unless we’re very clearly invited to touch.”
She laughed. “And you guys are afraid of Chadwick?”
All of them nodded, including Boreas.
“Chad isn’t someone to take lightly,” Tynan said. “We don’t have purple dragons in our world, but they are revered.”
“Why?”
Tynan looked at the others, his coal-black eyes hesitant. “I don’t know what we should say still.” His eyes met hers. “There are secrets of the fae that shouldn’t be spread amongst humans. If you somehow retain some of the knowledge we give you when your memory is erased, then we could be in danger of being exposed.”
She laughed. “Well, no chance of that. I’ve been assured a pure memory wipe that goes back to the day before I ever met a supernatural creature.” She went quiet because she was definitely not talking about that day.
“Chadwick’s just trying to help, you know,” Ivar said, coming over to sit on a chair across from her. His pale-gray eyes looked soothing and soft. “We would all be willing to track down the fae and fight him for you. I hope you know that and aren’t afraid to ask.”
“Exactly,” Boreas said. “This isn’t likely to go away, a chaos prince resonating with you.”
“I don’t think he’s resonating with me,” she said softly. “I think he’s just pissed I’m alive.”
Boreas shook his head, peering at her thoughtfully. “He wouldn’t care if there wasn’t some way you were of use to him.”
She didn’t like the direction this conversation was heading. “I’m not of use to him. Or anyone.”
Boreas narrowed his eyes. “You do know that we aren’t like him. I don’t know what your interactions with him were, but a chaos fae is very different from a fae of order.”
She rubbed her head. “I don’t really get the distinction.”
Boreas sighed. “We keep them out of the upper hemisphere of our world. Out of our kingdoms. When they try to break in to cause problems, we fight them as princes.” He eyed Isabella. “If he comes for you again, I’ll turn him into an icicle and break him into a million pieces.”
She smiled at his protectiveness. It was amazing to think of how surly he’d been when she’d first met him. Now she considered him a good friend.
“You don’t have to tell us anything more, Bella,” Ivar said quietly. “We’ll still protect you.”
“We don’t need to know who he is to put his lights out,” Tynan said, looking pleased with himself for the pun.
“That’s it. I’m getting fired up,” Flint said with a grin.
“No,” Boreas said. “No puns. No—”
“Aw, don’t be so cold,” Flint said, and Boreas raised a hand and somehow threw a snowball right at Flint’s face without Isabella ever seeing Boreas make it.
“Anyway,” Ivar said, shooting the others a glance to calm down. “Chad is just nervous. He doesn’t know what he’s up against, and he cares for you.”
“The rest of us understand at least a little, having fought other chaos princes,” Flint said, wiping snow off his face as he scowled at Boreas. “We could explain a bit about what he’s dealing with.”
<
br /> “It’s true,” Tynan said. “He will probably want to take on the chaos prince himself.”
“Why?” Isabella asked. “Isn’t that your job?”
All the fae looked at each other like it was obvious.
“Because you’re his,” Ivar explained patiently.
Every one of the fae nodded in agreement.
She stood, feeling her heart pound. It was enough to have feelings for Chad. She didn’t need anyone else to point it out. “I’m not. I’m going back to my world. He’s mating a dragon heart. That’s final.”
“Chad is a good person,” Ivar said. “And we are here to back him up. Together, we can all protect you. Don’t worry. Don’t run from your soul bond.”
She whirled on them, facing them with a red face. “It’s not a soul bond, whatever that is. And I don’t want you all to protect me. I want you to focus on going into the human world just fine without me. I want to go back to my world and forget. Besides, the fae isn’t here looking for me. He probably wanted to silence me when he saw me, but he’ll probably go back to whatever he’s doing for now.”
Ivar shook his head, full lips pressed together. “Not now that he has been challenged. Chaos fae love a fight. Chadwick assured it when he attacked him. They will duel.”
“Duel?”
Ivar nodded. “But that’s all I can tell you about that.”
“Why do you want to go back to your world anyway?” Boreas asked, leaning back on his couch with his hands behind his head. “What’s so great about being a sniveling human?”
“They aren’t sniveling,” she said flatly. “And their lives are simple. Uncomplicated.”
“I don’t think so,” Tynan said. “In your world, chaos and order mix everywhere. No safe zones. Crime. Assault. No humans who can really stop those who are hurting people. I’m here to fight chaos princes, not humans, but you have plenty of evil here regardless of supernaturals.”
That was true, though she hated to think about it.
Still, no human would do what that fae prince had done. Imprison someone for years. Torture them. Pretend to be in love…
Memories came back then. Of pain. Self-hatred for ever getting herself in that situation. Dark chains around her mind, holding her in pain whenever she even thought about it.
Slowly, she pushed the memories from her mind and managed to calm down.
She was strong again. A survivor. Focused only on the present and future.
“I’m going up to see Chadwick,” she said, striding toward the door he’d left through. “I’ll talk to him, and then we will let this whole thing go.”
But she could feel the fae doubting her even as she left the room.
Chapter 16
When Isabella reached Chadwick’s office, he was just hanging up a cordless phone, which he tossed to the side while he sat on a padded windowsill, looking out at the grass.
His door was open, and she knocked lightly before he nodded and she walked in.
He leaned his head on the wall behind him, looking breathtakingly handsome as he watched her with a calm expression. “That was the oracle.”
She smiled at the phone on the ground. “You have a landline?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes things just make you nostalgic. She enchanted that for me so I could reach her on it.”
She sat down on one of the chairs in front of his desk and turned it so she could face him, though he was already looking out the window again.
“The oracle wouldn’t tell me any of your history. She agreed with you that it’s none of my business,” he said flatly.
She nodded, inwardly sighing in relief.
He pinned her with a sharp look. “But you shouldn’t think that’s a good thing. I could better protect you if I knew what I was up against.”
She sighed. “Look, he just happened to run across me. He won’t be back. He’s probably looking for one of those humans with latent fae blood. You know, the whole reason they are here. I don’t have any.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “How are you so sure?”
She fidgeted, tucking her hands underneath her again. “I can’t be. But all I know is that going after him would do no good.”
Chadwick sighed, staring out the window. “Making you feel safe would be good.” He turned to face her. “Do you just not trust me to protect you? Because I’m not a fae?”
“It’s not that. I don’t want the fae to fight him either, unless they come across him and feel they want to.” She scooted her chair closer. “Look, even the oracle agreed that I don’t have to dig into my past for us to be safe. I’m not trying to frustrate you.”
“But you are frustrating me,” he said, pinning her with a violet glare. “Because you keep making me care about you and then pushing me away.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I told you what this was from the start. I’m not staying in this world.”
“It won’t be safe for you even if you go,” he said.
“You don’t know that,” she said softly. Maybe it wouldn’t be safe, but it was her only hope for keeping everyone around her safe.
She just needed to forget.
“Bella, you have nothing to be ashamed of,” Chad said. “I would never judge you. What would there even be to judge?”
“I know.”
“Then why won’t you tell me who’s after you?”
“He’s not after me,” she insisted as if she could convince herself as well. “He just came across me and wanted me to go with him. He’ll go back to what he was doing, and the fae will eventually fight him when he tries to take a human. And that will be that.”
Chadwick sighed. “What if he takes a human before we get there?”
She shrugged. “Any of the chaos princes could be doing that right now. Me telling you my past wouldn’t help anyone find him.” She sighed. “I’m not here to solve all the problems in the world. I’m just here to help as much as I can before I finally get to rest. Which, you’re right, doesn’t make my life better. I still lost so much. I’m still damaged. But at least I can forget and not be scared looking around every corner.”
Chadwick let out a sigh. “But what about having more than you had before? There’s a world full of magic if only you’d embrace it.”
She knew what he was asking. To embrace him. To stay in his world. But she couldn’t. “I’m sorry, Chadwick.”
There was fear in his eyes as he looked at her, though his tone was calm. “Bella, if something happened to you when you went back to your world with no memory, I’d never forgive myself. You know my feelings.”
She gave a sharp nod. “As a friend.”
His jaw tightened in anger. “You know it’s more than that.”
“As a very close friend,” she said, exhaling in resignation. “Look, the physicality between us, I told you it was a distraction. You were just helping me.”
He shook his head slightly. “No. If I didn’t care about you, why would I have sex with you just to distract you? There are feelings there. I don’t just fuck anyone who looks sad.”
She snorted. “I guess that’s a good thing.” She wrinkled her nose. “I look sad?”
“Sometimes,” he said. “Sometimes you look excited or mischievous. Often, you look scared, and I’d do anything to take that away from you. Yes, I like to distract you. I like to take away the pain in your eyes. But only because I have feelings for you.”
She swallowed. “What does that mean for us? You can’t mate a non-dragon heart.”
“I can mate whoever I want,” he said. “I run a nearly flawless region, and my partner chose a mate. I only have to date a dragon heart if I want a triad to protect my region. I hadn’t decided when I met you. Now I have. I want you, Bella. Stay with me, and I’ll protect you.”
“You barely know me,” she said, sagging in the chair in disbelief. “Chadwick, you can’t want this. I’m just some human. I’m nothing. You’ll find that out and change your mind.”
He gave her an odd look. “W
hy would I change my mind? When we were together, my dragon wanted to mate you.”
She sighed. “Are you sure?”
He hesitated. “It felt different than Trevor described. Warmer. But something happened.”
“It was just great sex,” she said, knowing she was denying something that had happened in her also. “Really amazing sex. That’s all.”
She’d wanted him to hold her forever.
“You won’t be safe out there,” he said. “You belong here, with me.”
She shook her head. “That’s not your decision.” She stood. “And I don’t care what you feel. I’m not letting anyone tell me what I should do or be or where I should go ever again. If I don’t get my memory erased, I will always be miserable.”
Chadwick sighed. “I would never want you to be miserable. But who is going to hold you when you’re sad when you go back to that world? Who’s going to kiss away the fear? Because you’ll still be sad, Bella. Things that happen to us don’t just go away because we don’t remember them.”
“What would you know about it?” She took another step toward the door. “You just sit in this mansion every day.”
“I work with victims every day. Or at least I did before I became babysitter for the fae,” he said, and the dull, flat tone he was using made her stop in the doorway and turn back to him. “I see visions of things I couldn’t or didn’t stop. I see people die. People raped. I see things that happened long ago and things that may still happen. Sometimes I wish I could forget. Let it all go and escape my problems. But I have to stay here. Keep fighting. Not let myself get bogged down.”
She nodded. “But you have powers. The ability to help.”
He eyed her. “You have the ability to help too.”
“No,” she said. “I had some knowledge. Some limited info. I’ve used it the best way I could.”
“You could still use it,” he said. “Help other victims. Help us understand what the fae do to those they capture—”
“I didn’t say I was captured,” she snapped.
“I get it,” he said, exhaling as he turned back to the window. “No matter what, you’re leaving. And you won’t tell me about your past or that fae.”
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