She had felt a rush of strength, like something was pushing her. She hadn’t been surprised at all by the way the wolf had crumpled. She’d mainly been surprised by how fast her arm had moved.
Chad’s eyes kept returning to hers, and she couldn’t help smiling at him.
What a date.
She’d gotten a look into his world, and it wasn’t a pretty one. But it did help her love him and understand him even better.
“They’re coming,” he said. “We’ll wait here, see if Jay can soothe her, and then when she feels okay, we’ll take off.”
“Don’t leave,” the woman said, holding on to Isabella. “They’ll hurt me.”
Isabella nodded. “I won’t leave. They won’t hurt you, though.” She rested her head on the other woman’s and let the cool night air blow over her face.
She had a lot to think about.
Chapter 19
Chadwick was still worked up when they reached the mansion, and even though he was trying to stay calm for Isabella’s sake, her recklessness was still making his dragon riot inside.
They were in the kitchen now, and he was pacing, still trying to calm down as she watched him with a cup of juice in her hand.
She could have been killed. Who did she think she was, a shifter?
Plus, he’d almost lost his focus, going on the attack on just one wolf when he needed to keep his eyes on all of them.
He didn’t blame her for wanting to rescue the girl, though. As a former victim, he understood that she empathized. But she had to learn that sometimes things like that had to wait. Otherwise, someone could get hurt.
He sat on a stool, finally feeling like his throat wasn’t too tight to even drink juice. “Just what were you trying to pull back there?”
She shrugged, looking a bit tired, though her cheeks were still flushed from excitement. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about it.”
“Yes, you did,” he retorted, irritated by her denial. “You went because she was a victim and you related. You both could have been killed.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You’re mad about that? I thought you were pissed that I hit that wolf guy for you.”
He laughed, but it came out hoarse, more of a cough. “I am mad about that. I’m mad about anything that put you in danger. And it’s hard for me to believe you could be so reckless.” He threw back what was left of his juice. “Maybe you’re a dragon heart.” As he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, the thought didn’t make him happy.
He didn’t want to share her. Didn’t want to let her go back to her world. Didn’t want to let her forget.
Seeing that wolf with his hand on her leg had made him feel helplessly impotent. Chad cared deeply about anyone in his area and even more about those he was close to.
But when they were threatening Isabella, they might as well have been holding a burning knife to his heart.
How would he cope, knowing she was out there? Unguarded. No memory of the danger that could be coming her way.
“Bella.” He put a hand over hers, relieved when she didn’t pull back. “I don’t know how to let go of you.”
She squeezed his hand. “It’ll be okay. Besides, you definitely need a dragon heart. I saw what you did tonight. I’m so glad I’ve been with you, but I saw even more why it’s important for you to have all the power you can.”
He let go of her, feeling burned. “You can’t mean that.”
“I do,” she said. “Look, I don’t think I’m a dragon heart. I’m not brave. I was scared as hell, but I wanted to help that woman. And then when it was you… Well, that’s obvious.”
He turned his head to her, curious curls of hope unfurling in his heart. “What’s obvious?”
“I have feelings for you,” she murmured, staring at her juice. “Clearly, I would want to help if you were in trouble.”
“I thought my heart was going to stop,” he said. Then he paused, going over her words. “You have feelings for me?” He stared at her with wide eyes as his dragon took a victory lap in the sky of his heart.
She nodded. “Obviously.”
“But you want to forget everything,” he said. “How does that work?”
She cupped her juice with both hands like she needed to stay steady. “It will be painful until I forget.”
“And what about me?” he snapped. “What happens when I can’t forget?”
Her lips parted slightly, then closed. She was resolved. “Then I hope it was worth it.”
His eyes shuttered and closed, and he breathed deep, trying to calm the beast inside him who just wanted to claim her right there.
She had feelings for him. She couldn’t possibly want to forget if she felt this way about him.
But he had no say over that.
“I’m sorry our date was ruined,” he said.
She looked up at him with a smile. “It’s not ruined. I got to see what you do. I have to say… impressive.”
He gave her a wry look. “But you still don’t expect me to protect you from the fairy.”
She shook her head. “It’s not that.”
“Are the memories so bad?” he asked. “So bad that they aren’t worth all the good they could lead to?”
She stared at him for a moment, and her eyes were hollow. It was a terrible thing to see in her usually sparkling irises. “I told you I’m not talking about them. But yes, they’re bad.”
He sighed. “Well, I guess you deserve everything good, then.” He stood, and she looked up at him like she was protesting. “Come on. Let’s go distract you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to be distracted.”
Had he upset her? He couldn’t help feeling disappointed. He enjoyed spending time with his mate, wiping the fear from her eyes and replacing it with pleasure. And the more often he could connect with her, the better chance he had of making her see she could stay.
He’d give her something too good to forget.
She stood and put her hand in his, squeezing it as she looked up into his eyes. “I’m not doing it to forget this time. Or to distract myself. I just want to be with you. Because I want you. Because I care.”
“I care for you too,” he replied. “If you would stay with me…”
“I can’t.”
He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it. “Then let me make love to you while I still can.”
She nodded, and he lifted her into his arms and headed up to his room to do just that.
Chapter 20
Isabella hated herself for the pain in Chadwick’s eyes when he’d asked her to stay with him.
Even though she’d known it would never be an option, it hurt to see that he actually hoped it was.
If she could, she would give that to him.
But it wasn’t up to her, and she couldn’t even tell him why.
She just knew that after all those days in miserable conditions, being tortured, being prodded, she dreamed of something like this. A man to love. A man to make love with. Someone to hold and laugh with as they worked as a team through life.
She’d just thought it would be with another human.
Dammit, she never should have teased a dragon.
Chadwick’s eyes glowed purple as he set her down on the bed and crawled over her eagerly. Whatever frustration he’d been dealing with, he’d clearly pushed it aside to be with her.
By the heat in those amethyst eyes, she knew he wanted her as deeply as she wanted him.
So at least she would treasure this moment.
As he kissed down her neck, she felt pain but also something warm and vibrant pulsing inside her.
She focused in on it, closing her eyes as she felt his lips caress her neck, kiss up her jaw, claim her lips with gentle but fierce promise.
Her hands wound up into his hair and over his back, and she kept her eyes closed as she just let her body feel everything.
As he slipped away her clothing and kissed down her breasts, suckling each nipple until it was hard and
wet, aching in the cold air for relief.
He continued to suck them as his hand wandered down, pulling aside her panties, and he slipped a finger in to play over her clit, gently swirling the way he knew she liked it.
She arched against his hand, the sensation of where he was touching and kissing so much more intense with closed eyes.
“Why aren’t you looking at me?” His lips grazed her nipples.
“I’m memorizing this,” she said. “I know your face so well. I want to remember your touch.”
He laughed somewhat bitterly. “But don’t you want to forget all of this?”
She shook her head. “No. I wish I could just save the part with you in it. I don’t think I’ll ever be as happy as am I now.”
“Then stay with me,” he urged, flicking his tongue out over her nipple again.
She arched as pleasure lashed through her, making her body more and more heated as his hand stroked down and he gently pressed two fingers inside her.
“You’re mine, Isabella,” he said. “You feel that now. You know it as well as I do, don’t you?”
She nodded, eyes still clenched shut, ready to sob as the pleasure continued to build. She thrust her body in time with him, fucking his hand as he licked and sucked her sensitive nipples.
“No one could make you feel like this,” he said harshly, and she gasped as she felt his hand retreat as he slowly licked down her belly until he reached her mound.
His tongue found her clit. “Come for me, Isabella,” he said, and she felt everything release, pleasure washing over her in waves. He sucked and licked her as she came, murmuring sweet words as she thrashed and tried to escape.
When she was finally calm, she opened her eyes and felt arousal rush through her again at the sight of his face.
That thick, adorable chocolate hair. Those amethyst eyes. That hard jaw.
But more than that, everything he did and was with her. The Chadwick who saved her from a pool. Or the side of the house. Who always let her tease him.
Who just seemed happy to be in her arms.
How could she hurt him? How could she even risk it?
She let him spread her legs as he dove back in again, licking down to her slit and back up, exploring her sex with a voracious desire to see her come even faster.
The second orgasm hit her unexpectedly, sending her over the edge, screaming his name as stars exploded behind her eyes and her body felt better than she’d ever imagined.
She stared up at him in wonder as he came back up over her again, propping himself up on his arms.
Dammit, every time she was with him, it got better. Soon, she’d be addicted and unable to let go.
Unable to resist trying to figure out a way to stay with him when she knew it wasn’t going to work out.
Breathing heavily, she sat up slightly and reached for him. He was still hard behind his pants, the thick length tempting her as it pressed against his zipper.
“Please,” she said, putting her hand up to stroke it.
He let out a little shudder, and his eyes were hot as they met hers. “Isabella, I can’t.”
She sat up more. “What do you mean?”
He shook his head, his jaw tight. “If I go inside you… the dragon in me…”
She understood. “It’s fine,” she said, ignoring the slight pang in her heart that he had to hold back from her.
“I love you, Bella,” he said. “More than my life. But I won’t take anything from you that you can’t give. You can’t stay with me and be my mate. I can’t do that with you. It will only tear me apart when you leave.”
She nodded, pushing away her disappointment. “Okay.”
He was about to get off of her when her hand pressed down, wrapping around him as much as she could over his pants.
“That doesn’t mean we have to stop,” she said, grinning at him.
Slowly, the air in the room changed from the oppressive sadness of a moment ago to heated anticipation.
Chad’s mouth fell open slightly. “Bella…”
She pushed him up so he was on his knees and got up to face him, putting her hand down to flick open his button and draw down his zipper.
He moaned at her touch, and she felt weak at the soft, velvet feel of his hard, thick length.
As she stroked him, she imagined he was inside her. She was gentle, enjoying watching his face as he held back, trying to resist her.
She moved down, down, until she could take his tip in her mouth, and she sucked it like it was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted, loving the feel of him filling her mouth.
She pulled back, leaving him wet, and got up to kiss him again as her hand came down to stroke him. Now that he was wet, her hand glided along his hard length, and he grunted as she began to move faster. His breathing grew more tense.
His huge, muscled body leaned against her as she kissed him, and then his hand found its way to her moist sex.
She let out a muffled moan of protest because this was supposed to be for him, but he simply kissed her more ferociously as his finger stroked over her swollen clit, making her tremble as she tried to stay focused on getting him off.
God, he was beautiful, she thought, opening her eyes to watch him kiss her. As she closed them again, his touch became even more intense, and she felt like she was close to orgasm.
She began to stroke him harder, listening to the way his breaths got more and more harsh, feeling his body begin to tremble with effort.
This was what made him so amazing at sex. This amazing control. This obsession with giving her pleasure first.
She would never find anyone like him, and she was pretty sure, long after she lost her memory, that her heart and body would still be grieving his loss.
But for now, that didn’t matter.
She stroked down, holding him tight just as he pressed in on her clit, and they came together. She felt him jerk in her hand as her whole body felt caved in by pleasure.
They held each other, kissing through the orgasm and capturing each other’s sounds of release. Perhaps a few murmured words of love were whispered amongst the ecstasy. Perhaps they held on tighter than they ever had, knowing everything could be ending.
Perhaps things were finally feeling real.
But as they fell back onto the bed together and Isabella looked over at Chad’s face, tired and relaxed in pleasure, she couldn’t really care.
She would treasure every moment she could get with her dragon.
Chapter 21
“Goddammit,” Chadwick cursed, sitting up in the darkness, heart pounding, to check and make sure Bella was still at his side.
He let out a sigh of relief when he saw her sleeping beside him, face relaxed and at peace.
Nothing like he’d seen in his dream.
The images swirled back to him, making him flinch at the horror of them. Needles. Blades. Knives.
And he couldn’t even get her to tell him anything that had happened to her in the fae world, so he had no idea if he was seeing the past or the present.
Outside his window, wind blew the grasses across the expansive estate, but even the sight that usually calmed him couldn’t make his racing heart slow.
She was everything. Every time he touched her, he knew it. His dragon was roaring for him to claim her. He hadn’t dared go inside her earlier that night when they’d made love.
He’d wanted to touch every part of her body, kiss her all over, let her kiss and stroke him, but he feared if they joined again, he might never be able to let go.
Because something odd had definitely happened the last time they joined.
Something he saw sparks of in every other thing they did. Every time she smiled or they touched.
But it was a roaring fire when he was deep inside her, and it felt like it was scarring his heart in a way that would never heal if she left.
Though, he had still felt scarred when they orgasmed together, clutching each other, kissing through rolling waves of pleasure
so intense they couldn’t be believed.
He rolled over to stroke an errant blond lock off her face. She stirred slightly, not losing her peaceful expression.
“What am I going to do with you?” he asked quietly, twirling a lock of hair gently between his fingers. “How am I supposed to ever let you go? What if someone hurts you?”
Her eyes slowly opened, and he cursed himself for being too loud of a whisperer. Still, the feelings were true.
She pushed herself up, a look of concern on her face. “Are you okay? Did you have a vision?”
His heart nearly melted at the way she was only worried about him. No one had ever worried about him like that. Not that it was needed, but it was nice all the same.
“No. A dream,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“No big,” she said, sitting up and stretching with a yawn. “What was it about?”
“You,” he said, his throat tight.
“Oh.” She smoothed her hands over the covers. “What about?”
He sighed. “You won’t talk about it, so there’s no point in discussing it.”
“I mean, you could still tell me what you saw.”
“But you wouldn’t confirm if it was past or future even, would you?”
She shook her head slowly, looking slightly stricken at having to turn him down.
With a curse, he pushed off the bed to pace in front of the window.
Finally losing his patience, he whirled on her, hands on his hips. “Why don’t you trust me? What have I done that you don’t think I can help?” He shook his head. “I know I said I would let this go, but after that dream, I can’t. If someone did that to you, I can barely stand it. If they are going to, I would die to prevent it. How can I do that if you won’t tell me who he is?”
She was hunched now, staring down at the sheets, and Chadwick hated that his beautiful, vivacious mate looked so pained whenever this subject came up.
But it was clear now that he couldn’t just leave it.
“Bella, it just doesn’t make sense not to tell me,” he said. “Not after what I’ve seen. I can’t stand it.”
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