by V. Vaughn
“Fontaine,” the head coach of my team says as he answers on the second ring.
“Roger, it’s Alec.”
“Jesus Christ, son, where have you been? You haven’t been answering my calls or anyone else’s for that matter. That’s bad form. You’re a day late for practice.”
In football land, this is inexcusable. I get paid, and paid well, to do what I’m told.
“I know. I’m sorry Coach.” I know he’ll forgive me. He might be my boss, but he’s got a soft spot for me too.
“Don’t tell me it’s bad news, son. Is it the knee?”
I wince, knowing I’ve put him in a difficult situation. He knew I was struggling with my injury healing, and he’d have done anything he could to help me if I’d let him. But even worse, he’s going to need to get the second quarterback up to speed on short notice. And the fact I haven’t called sooner isn’t fair to him. I say, “It is.”
There’s a long drawn out sigh on the other end. “How bad? Tell me straight.”
“I’m done, Coach. Doctors tell me my knee is done for. I’ll never be able to play again.”
“Damn.” He’s silent. It’s not vain to acknowledge the fact that this news makes him grieve a bit too, right along with me. I was a key factor in our winning seasons and our current notoriety. I helped make the man a lot of money, too. “I’m sorry to hear it, Alec. It’s a damn shame. You’re the best quarterback I’ve ever worked with.”
A lump forms in my throat. I try to swallow it down, but my voice comes out in a croak. “Thank you, Coach.”
“Do you know what you’re going to do now?”
“No, not really.” The truth is I haven’t given it much thought because I’m been giving Hillary most of my think time. “I’m back home in Heartland trying to figure it out.”
“Have you ever thought about coaching? You’d be a damn fine quarterback or offensive line coach, Alec. Any team would be lucky to have you.”
“No, I hadn’t, but I appreciate you saying that.”
“All right, if that’s something you want to discuss, you have my number. You can call me any time, day or night.”
“Thanks, Coach. I’ve loved playing for you.”
After we disconnect, I feel the need for another beer. Cheap no longer matters, because my life has changed drastically, and it’s time for me to figure out what to do next.
I take my beer out to the deck. After I sit, I inhale a deep breath of cool, fresh, clean air and think about my options. It occurs to me, like it has so many times over the years when I had a big decision to make, that I wish I could talk to Hillary about it.
She’s one of the best voices of reason I ever had. She helped me brainstorm almost every essay and project I ever did in school. But even more importantly, she’s the one person I want to factor into whatever I decide.
I want to go to the diner to see her. But I don’t want to make her mad by showing up again. We haven’t talked since she went with me to the doctor, and I wonder if maybe she doesn’t want to see me again.
My bear weighs in. Don’t be a coward, man.
“I’m not,” I mumble. “I just don’t want to ruin things a second time.”
You can’t be a chicken about going after your woman. She needs to know you’ll do anything for her. That you won’t stop until she’s yours again.
I snort. “I’m sorry, that totally sounds part stalker, part asshole. Get with the times.”
My bear growls deep inside me. I can actually feel it rumble my bones. Talk to her. Let her know her opinion matters.
It occurs to me he’s got a point. Hillary does need to see that my future decisions are going take her into consideration.
Go!
“I will, I will. After a shower.”
My bear snorts. Her bunny loves our scent.
“Maybe so, but Hillary doesn’t.” I go into the bathroom, strip off my clothes, and get into the shower. As I wash, I try and think about what I’m going to say to Hillary. I need to word things in a way that will make her agree to talk things through.
After I get dressed, I make my way outside toward my motorcycle, and as I look at it, I know that’s not what I should be driving. I turn on my heel and walk toward the outbuilding where Bruce has been keeping my truck all these years. A beat-up, workhorse Toyota that will rust out before the engine ever dies.
The garage door that accesses the storage shed is old school, and the wheels squeal on the track as I yank it up. I smile when I see my red truck, shining as if it dressed for the occasion too. I should have known Bruce wouldn’t let a vehicle sit idle and rot. I open the door and climb into the driver’s seat. And as I place my hands on the wheel, I swear I can smell the faint scent of lemon. An odor that is all Hillary.
When I start the truck, the engine turns over with ease. “Thanks, bro.” Say what you will about my brother Bruce’s manners, but you can’t deny the man has a heart of gold. As I pull out of the shed, my hands are slick on the wheel, and I realize my palms are sweaty. I laugh at myself because it’s like the first time I asked Hillary out, and I wonder if she has any idea that now, just like back then, she’s got me in the palm of her hand. All I have to do is find a way to convince her to keep me.
Chapter 15
HILLARY
By the time my waitress shift ends, my feet are aching. I’ve been on them all day, and it was a busy one. Two-dollar Tuesday always has them lining up out the door. That and the fact that Tony is one hell of a cook, no matter how busy we get.
Plates clash on my tray as I carry them into the kitchen, and I think about a long, hot foot soak when I get home. Maybe a full body one, with some herbs from my garden infusing the water.
I step back out into the dining room to finish cleaning my last table so I can clock out and get off my feet. I spot Alec sitting in a booth in my section where he’s been sitting every time he comes in since he first walked back into my life a week ago. But seeing him today doesn’t make me mad the way it did a week ago. My bunny is happy he’s here, and darn it, I am too.
When he sees I’m looking, he gives me a little wave. I wave back and notice how tired he looks. Run down, as if he hasn’t been sleeping. My heart aches for him because I know how hard it is to sleep when your dream’s been shattered.
Go talk to him. My bunny hops around in my head. If it were up to her, she’d be over there already. Snuggling her bear to offer him comfort. I’m not quite as impulsive.
I can still be a friend to Alec, though. I let out a sigh as I wipe down my table, and Rita Mae comes to stand next to me. “He looks like crap.”
“Yeah. He’s going through a tough situation right now.”
Rita Mae says. “Go talk to him. I’ll set this table for you.”
“Are you sure?” I blink at her in surprise.
“Yeah. He looks like he could use a friend.”
She’s right. And a friend is something I can be. I grab the pot of coffee and walk over to him. The hot drink splashes into his cup, and he inhales the scent and sighs.
“Thanks,” he says.
“Can I sit so we can talk?”
His eyes widen a bit. “Of course. It’s why I came. I was trying to find a way to ask you if you would.”
After I set the coffee pot back, I slide into the booth. “You look horrible.”
He chuckles. “Thanks.”
“You’re not sleeping, are you?”
“Not much.” He takes a sip of coffee, sighing with satisfaction. “I finally made the call to my coach to tell him I was done, that I couldn’t play football anymore.” He leans forward a little, setting his elbow on the table and rubbing at his forehead, and the gesture tugs at my heart. “I should’ve done it before now. It wasn’t fair of me to make him wait like that.”
“I’m sure he knew how hard it was for you to accept.”
He nods. “Yeah, probably.”
“I imagine your coach has had to deal with this sort of thing before.”
; Alec takes another sip of coffee, cupping his hands around the warm mug. Then he leans back and sighs with so much pain it’s palpable. “It’s weird. I always knew football wouldn’t last forever, but I never spent any time thinking about what’d I do when it was over.”
“You’ve got a name a lot of people know. Maybe you can capitalize on that.”
“I guess.”
“What are you thinking about? Do you have any idea what you might like to do?”
He shrugs. “What do you think about me maybe coaching quarterbacks? Think I’d be any good at it?”
My heart stops. Because while it would be a natural fit for him, since we don’t have any professional teams close by, it means he’d have to leave to do it.
Just like I knew he would. I close my eyes to brace against the wave of pain that washes over me before I say, “Sure. I do think you’d be good at it.” I twist the paper napkin on the table so tightly that pieces of it start coming apart. The white fibers fall like snow as I kick myself for caring so much. For letting his actions hurt me one more time.
“Maybe. The thing is I like it here in Heartland,” he says. “I’d forgotten how much I’ve missed the town, and the people, and…” I stop breathing because I know what he’s going to say, and like an arrow to my heart, I know how much it’s going to hurt. “And you, Hillary. Always you.”
He reaches for me but pulls his hand back when I say, “Alec, don’t.”
“I don’t need to coach. I could do something unrelated to football.”
My bunny perks up, as do I, and I immediately jump on it. “You could. What kind of business are you thinking of?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe you could work on cars with Bruce,” I suggest.
He lifts his hands. “These babies are not meant for hard labor.” He chuckles.
I roll my eyes and kick myself for thinking he might take working in this town seriously, and my snark comes out. “Yes, I remember. Maybe you could be a hand model. Since those hands are so valuable.”
He smirks, either missing my nasty tone or ignoring it. “They’re insured. No joke.”
“My apologies. Those hands are meant for great things.” Like touching me. And me, says my bunny.
But that’s dangerous territory.
“I’ve got time before I have to figure anything out,” Alec says. “I’ve got enough investments I don’t need to work for a while.”
“Well, that’s good.”
Those hands… My bunny is bouncing all over the place and refusing to keep me in the safe zone when it comes to Alec. It’s time to go.
“So, my shift is over.” I slide out of booth.
He leans forward, anxiously. “Are you heading home?”
“Yeah, I was planning to.”
“I have a better idea,” he says, and there’s that damn twinkle in his eyes again. The look I know means he’s up to no good. It also says whatever he has in mind will be fun, even if it gets us in trouble. Trouble that is usually worth it.
Chapter 16
ALEC
Hillary’s fidgeting. Her bunny probably needs to come out. As I recall she needs to shift almost every day or her bunny drives her crazy, and I think that’s what’s going on right now.
“Are you going home to shift?” I ask. I know the answer already but say it anyway to prove that I know her and remember her quirks.
She nods, trying not to smile. “Yeah, you know me. Can’t sit still for more than a half hour.”
I smile. “Can I come? I’d love to shift with you.”
She doesn’t immediately respond to my offer, which makes me nervous. Was that too far? Too much to ask?
My bear doesn’t think so. He’s rearing up on his hind legs. He loves the idea.
“You remember how great it used to be playing in the woods together, don’t you?” I can’t help asking. I want to see her reaction.
“Of course, I remember. It used to be one of my favorite things to do. As you recall it was one of the only things my bunny wanted to do.” She smiles and rolls her eyes. I think she’s remembering that sex is the other thing her bunny loves to do, and I bet she wishes she hadn’t mentioned it.
“That’s all I want. To have some fun.”
She gives me a skeptical look, but I think I’ve got her. “C’mon. You aren’t going to deny us fun, are you? You know your bunny will love it.”
She’s still hesitant, and I don’t blame her. Shifting together is intimate and requires trust. Especially when one is a vulnerable bunny. Trust isn’t something she’s willing to give me yet. But I try to convince her just the same.
“Look, I don’t have any expectations, Hillary. I just want to shift with a friend and play around in the woods.”
Finally, she nods.
I let out a, “Yes!”
She grins. “Just friends, Alec. Now maybe my bunny will shut up. Let me go get my things.”
As I move toward the front door, I recall how rambunctious her bunny can be. Hillary walks back to the kitchen, passing her co-worker along the way. I recognize Mandy from when Hillary and I came to the diner when we were in school.
I smile at her, and she comes over to me.
She gives me a serious stare. “I haven’t had a chance to say hello since you came home,” she says. “I’m Mandy. I’m not sure if you remember me.”
“I do remember. You used to give Hillary and me free pie on Sundays.”
She chuckles, but there’s a bite to it. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
“The best pie in Wyoming.”
“I’ll have to tell Tony you said that.” She scans me with her gaze, making me think she’s got something she needs to say, and I can practically feel her motherly protector vibe radiate toward me. “You be careful with Hillary. Don’t go breaking her heart again.”
“I won’t. You have my word on that. I just want to be with her, however that happens.”
Her eyes narrow, then she nods. “All right.”
Hillary returns, and she looks from me to Mandy. “Something I need to worry about?” she asks.
Mandy shakes her head and slaps me on the back. “Nope. Just telling Alec how good it is to see him again. He’s been gone too long.”
Hillary looks at me, and I nod. “Yes.” But she doesn’t appear convinced.
As we walk to the door together, Mandy waves at us, but as soon as Hillary’s back is turned, Mandy points at her eyes, then at me. I’m watching you.
When we’re outside, I think about how Hillary is giving me a little of her trust, which can’t be an easy thing. I try to smooth the way as much as possible for her. “Do you want to go back to your place, since you back up to the woods?”
“Sure. Honestly, it’s been a while since I’ve gone bouncing through the woods. I think the last time I did I was with my friend Lexi at the falls. I slipped on the rocks and fell into the stream.”
The thought of her ever being injured fills me with dread. My bear rages at the very idea. “Were you okay?”
“Oh yeah, I was fine. Lexi dove in and saved me. I got my stupid big bunny foot stuck in some rocks.” She chuckles.
I try to laugh with her, but it’s like a lump in my throat. I know she’s okay, obviously, since she’s walking next to me unhurt, but just the mere thought of her in trouble and distress makes my stomach roil.
I don’t know what I’d do if Hillary got hurt. Over the time we were together, she gave me a few scares when her bunny would try to keep up with my bear, but I was there to protect her, to watch out for her. The big bear watching over his sweet little bunny. And she let me.
Guilt fills me, because where was that big bear when she almost drowned? “Well, thank god your friend was with you.”
“Yeah, she’s great. I’m sure you’ll meet her someday. She just married Tristan. Do you remember him?”
“I do. He’s Bruce’s best friend.”
She smiles up at me. “Right. You should’ve seen Bruce at Trista
n’s wedding.” She laughs now. “He looked so uncomfortable in a suit.”
I laugh too. “I can imagine. Bruce is only comfortable in jeans and flannel.”
We’re talking easily, and it’s nice. This is a small step toward rebuilding our relationship. And I have hope that shifting together will take us even further.
Chapter 17
HILLARY
The walk to my place is only four blocks from the diner, and I live near a large copse of trees that eventually leads to the woods that surround the town. My stomach is in knots, while my bunny is ecstatic. She can’t wait to shift and to play with Alec’s bear again.
Am I really going to do this? Shifting with him says I trust him again, at least on some level, and I’m not sure I do. But it’s too late to go back. I’m past the point of no return.
Maybe I always was.
When we arrive, my hands shake as I invite him in. I’m not sure why, it’s not like we haven’t done this before. Letting him into my space feels intimate, though, and as I lead him through the house to the back he looks around, taking in who I am now based on my things. The photos on my walls, the mess in my living room, and the dishes in my sink. His lips twitch up into a small smile as he touches the bear-shaped salt and pepper shakers on the table. They were a gift from him on Christmas years ago, and I never got rid of them. They’re great salt and pepper shakers.
I open the back door and we go out onto the lawn. And now my stomach clenches because we both need to undress to shift. I do it because I don’t like to get buried inside my clothes when I shrink down into a two-pound fluff of white fur. Alec needs to so he doesn’t rip apart his clothes when he grows in size.
Even though we’ve been naked together before—many times—I feel shy about undressing in front of him, and I wonder if maybe I should just let my clothes swallow me up as a rabbit and figure a way out. But that would be foolish, and Alec would know exactly why I did it. Quickly, I pull off my shirt and toss it to the side, then my bra. I keep my back to him as I undo my pants and take them off along with my underwear. Curious I peer over my shoulder as he undresses too.
