by V. Vaughn
I sigh. “Because the man left me for football and broke my heart. It wasn’t a something I wanted to dwell on. When I met you, I was finally getting my life back, and you were a big part of helping me enjoy it.”
“Wow, so it was bad?” Lexi asks.
Mandy says, “Our girl was knee deep in pie for months.”
I put my hands on my stomach. “Twenty pounds worth.”
Lexi blinks. “I had no idea. You could have told me, you know.”
I reach out to touch her leg. “I do know. I just couldn’t go there because I was afraid of what it might do to me.”
Lexi nods with a compassionate look I’m relieved to see. I take a swig of my wine before launching into my current situation. “And now Alec is home, he wants me back, I’ve kissed him, and—” I let out a sigh. “I don’t know what to do.
“How do you feel about him?” asks Lexi.
“I’m conflicted.” I lean back on the sofa and take a sip of wine. “I’ve missed him for so long, and now that he’s back, part of me wants to make a relationship work. But another part of me is afraid he’s going to leave again.”
“You’re talking to the right person when it comes to trust.” Lexi says. “But if I hadn’t been willing to trust Tristan again, I’d be an unhappy woman. If you’re still in love with him after all this time, I think you owe it to yourself to try to make something work.”
“Exactly,” Mandy chimes in. “Dating Alec doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing situation. Test the waters.”
I give Mandy a look of surprise. “You’ve been warning me away from him. What’s changed your mind?”
“Not only can I see that it’s hurting you to stay away from him, but it’s clear he’s determined to win you back. It’s kind of pathetic, actually. The way he sits at that booth and watches your every move with that sappy grin on his face.” She lifts her wine glass and takes a big sip.
“He has a sappy grin?” I ask as my heart warms.
“Oh, he’s a goner,” Lexi says. “I remember the way Tristan slunk around like a puppy looking for affection when I was trying to decide if I could be with him again. Now I can’t even imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t given him another chance.”
I savor a mouthful of wine and consider what they’re saying. I’m most definitely smarter now than I was the first time we fell in love. And a whole lot more mature. I won’t lose myself completely to him as easily as I did when I was a hormonal teenager. Back then, Alec was my world, but now my world is bigger with more friends and a life I’ve lived without him for years.
Lexi giggles as she reaches over to grab a strawberry. “Make sure he has to work for you, though. Like really, really hard.” She winks at me.
“I agree,” Mandy says with a grin. “A little groveling can go a long way.”
I hold up my glass to toast my friends. “To men down on their knees begging.”
Our drinks clink as we laugh.
Mandy leans back with a sigh. “I wish I’d been smarter when I met my ex. But hey, you live and learn.” She drains the rest of her drink and then gets up to go fill her glass. “Anyone need more?”
“Top me off?” I ask as I hold my glass out, and I take the opening Mandy offered to try to dig into her past. “You know, you’ve never told me exactly what happened with your baby daddy.”
She waves my question away as she pours wine into my glass. “It’s old news.”
Lexi and I raise our eyebrows at each other while Mandy returns to the kitchen to put the wine away. As curious as I am, it’s obvious Mandy’s not ready to share. And that’s something I can understand, so I let it go.
What I can’t let go is my uneasiness about trying something with Alec again. Even though my friends think I should.
“I’m going to check in with Daniel,” Mandy announces, and she moves toward Lexi’s backyard to make her call.
Lexi says, “I should call Tristan too.”
“And I’ll go to the bathroom,” I say, thinking I’ll give Lexi a bit of privacy.
A flowery scent fills the air as I squirt soap on my hands to wash up, and I think about what might happen if I give Alec another chance. For starters I’d get to have sex again. It’s been a long six years without that intimacy. And the truth is that trying to resist him hasn’t made me care for him any less. I look in the mirror at myself and talk to my bunny. “I say we go for it.”
Whee! She hops up and down and I can’t help but smile. But even though her joy is infectious, what I really feel is a huge sense of relief. And it makes me think somehow everything is going to be okay.
Chapter 20
HILLARY
My brain is foggy when I shuffle into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I had a good time with Lexi and Mandy last night, but I don’t drink the way we did on a regular basis, and I’m feeling the effects. As the aroma of dark roast fills my kitchen, I think about the decision I made last night to date Alec again.
It still gives me a sense of relief, and I decide to go with that feeling before doubt creeps in. I pick up the phone and call Alec. He answers on the third ring, and I know I’ve woken him when he speaks in groggy voice. “Hillary? What’s wrong?”
“I woke you. I’m sorry.”
Alec clears his throat. “Don’t be. It’s fine. What’s up?”
“Nothing serious, but could you meet me after my shift at the diner today? I’ll be done around three.”
“Um, okay. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong? Because your voice has that you’re-in-trouble sound I remember from high school.”
His tone is a teasing one, but I don’t want to give anything away yet, so I say, “Just be there.” I hang up, feeling proud of myself for taking control of the situation.
At work, the day drags. It’s slow, which makes time seem to stand still and gives me plenty of opportunities to wonder if I’m about to make a big mistake.
A half hour before my shift ends, Alec walks through the door and sits in his usual spot to wait for me. As I finish my last few tables and clean up, I can feel his gaze on me, and I smile remembering the way Mandy called him pathetic for his sappy grin. Then my mind goes to what happened at the hot springs, and the warmth I felt in my heart travels lower as I imagine where I’d like our next skinny-dipping adventure to go. I have to go into the kitchen to cool down.
When my shift finally ends, I hang up my apron and find Alec at the booth, talking to a local about his recent retirement. The news has been all anyone wants to talk about today since it hit the sports channels this morning.
Before he can speak, I say, “Take a walk with me.”
“Okay.” He gives me a puzzled smile, and I wonder what he thinks of my take-charge attitude.
We leave the diner and take a leisurely stroll down Main Street to the shifter park at the center of town. Heartland is a special community, full of people who love each other and do what they can to preserve the feel of this beautiful, peaceful locale. We all want our town to remain the best place a shifter could ever live, and I want Alec to see that again. I want him to remember how wonderful it is here so that he won’t ever want to leave.
As we pass by the hardware store, William, the owner, comes out and greets us. “Hello, Hillary. Nice to see you.”
“You too, William.”
He smiles at Alec and offers his hand. “It’s great to see you again, Alec. I heard the announcement that you’re retiring from football due to an injury. I was sorry to hear it.”
“Yes, sir.” Alec slaps his bad leg. “It’s my knee.”
“Such a shame, son. Such a shame.”
I can see the torment in Alec’s eyes, but he puts on a brave face, regardless. “I’m happy to be home, so it’s not a total loss.”
William smiles. “Gotta say, it’s not a bad place to be. If you need anything, you just come in and see me.” He wishes us a good day, and we continue on.
Alec kicks at a pebble on the sidewalk, and it skitters across the street
while I wonder how he’s doing now that the news of his retirement is out. “Are you doing okay?”
“Me? I’m fine, Hillary.”
“Okay. I ask because I figure it must be hard talking about leaving the team.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve come to terms with it.” A smile covers his face. “Someone’s been pretty great about helping me with that.”
I’m not sure how much help I’ve been, but I ask, “Have you thought any more about what you want to do?”
He runs a hand through his hair and gazes down at me. “I’m going to talk to Coach Weaver. He’s still at the high school, and I thought he might need help.”
“That’s a good idea. But is it going to be challenging enough for you?”
“Even though I don’t need the money, I’ve got to do something, Hillary. Sitting around doing nothing all day is making me a little crazy.” He flexes his hands at his side as if his bear needs him to shift.
“I can imagine,” I say as we walk into the park. A horse gallops toward us before it stops, nods, then turns to go back the other way.
Alec laughs. “Was that Jessica?”
“Yes.”
“What’s she doing now? Didn’t she go to Harvard or some big-name school like that?”
“Caltech. She’s a lawyer here in town.” I lean into him and speak softly. “I heard a rumor she’s going to run for mayor in the next election.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. She was student council president, wasn’t she?”
“Yes.”
We find a bench to sit on, and we watch wolves and a cougar race by. Large birds of prey swoop down from the sky and land on the perching posts situated around the big stone fountain. I suppose for a stranger this place would blow their mind, but to us it’s as natural as can be. I never tire of watching the shifters of Heartland being who they were meant to be. It makes me wonder how Alec managed life in a town where what he was had to be a secret.
He chuckles as a cat chases after a wolf as if she’s got him on the run. “I’ve missed it here.”
“I can imagine. Was it hard being somewhere you couldn’t shift easily?”
“It was. Do you know how hard it is to find a big, quiet, private place to shift into a bear in Miami?”
“Where did you go?”
“I tried to drive out to the woods when I could, but one time I was so desperate I ended up shifting at the zoo.”
I laugh. “No way!”
“Yes way. It was crazy. I snuck in late at night and did it in the bear enclosure. Thankfully they didn’t mind my company. Although the female seemed a little too interested in me.”
I open my mouth in shock as jealousy spikes in me, but when I see his smirk, I realize he’s teasing and slap at his arm. “You’re horrible!”
He laughs and the sound fills me with happiness. Happiness I want to feel forever. I look away and watch a couple of ducks splashing in the fountain as serious thoughts fill my head. I gaze at him and ask, “Are you really going to stay?”
“I want to.” He takes my hand in his. “I know this is only going to be words to you, and I wish I had a way for you to see I’m being sincere, but I really do plan to stay. As far as I’m concerned, life without you in it isn’t something I’m going to accept. Even if all I get to do is watch you work.”
“Yeah, about that. It’s getting kind of creepy,” I tease. “People are noticing.”
He gives me a sheepish smile, but the twinkle in his eyes tells me he knows I’m giving him a hard time.
“Tell you what,” I say. “I’m going to help you out with that boredom and stalker problem you’ve got. I have a job for you.”
His eyes widen. “You do? What is it?” His face falls with mock disappointment. “If it’s that dishwasher position—”
I chuckle. “Nope. I’ve decided to give you a chance. Your job is to woo me, and I mean woo me good.”
The grin that spreads across his face makes me want to kiss him. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Hillary. You won’t be disappointed.”
“I better not be.” I nudge him in the side with my elbow. “I’m not some pushover boss. I expect nothing but your all.”
“Then my all is what’ll you’ll get.” He salutes me. “I swear it.”
“You’re hired.”
“My first order of business is to take you out on a proper date. What do you say? Will you go out with me?”
I try to play it cool, but my bunny bounces so hard inside that she’s nearly rattling my teeth. “I think you can do better than that.” When he asked me out in the ninth grade, he handed me a piece of gum as if that was what would tip me over the edge of indecision. “Where’s my gum?”
Alec gives me an exaggerated look of shock. “I can’t believe I forgot.” He hops up to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”
I laugh as he rushes around the park asking everyone who’ll listen for a piece of gum. And when he finally returns with a whole pack, I thank him with a grin. This plan might work out after all.
Chapter 21
ALEC
I check my hair in the mirror and wonder if I put too much product in it. It looks kind of stiff, and if Hillary wants to run her hand through my hair, it might get stuck. And if I sweat in my helmet— I let out a groan and grab a brush to run through my hair, hoping I can get some of the gel out.
Then I notice the polo shirt I’m wearing and decide it’s too dressy for ziplining. I yank it over my head to change. Again. To say I’m nervous for my date with Hillary would be an understatement.
I can’t believe she’s giving me a second chance. I feel like I won the lottery, and I’d spent hours racking my brain trying to come up with something fun but memorable to do.
I finally resorted to searching for an online list of unique first-date ideas, and zip-lining came up. The article said it would be an adventure that would give the participants a thrill, the kind that will get the heart pumping full of excitement. Excitement that I hope will transfer to the relationship as well. I found a zipline extreme adventure in Greenwood, which is the next town over from Heartland.
Somewhat satisfied I’m presentable enough for our date, I grab the keys to my truck and go get Hillary. When she opens up to my knock on the door, I nearly lose my breath at the sight of her. She’s dressed in a white blouse with cute little sleeves and Capri pants. Her blond hair is down, not in the ponytail she usually has for work, and it flows over her shoulders. I recall how soft and silky it is, and I want to reach out and bury my hands in it.
“You look gorgeous,” I say when she steps out.
“Thank you.” She gives me a broad smile that makes me think she’s confident I’m wrapped around her finger until she tucks some hair behind her ear. I recognize that little tic as one of her nervous habits, and I think she might be as anxious as I am.
As we walk toward my truck, she says, “I remember this truck.”
“Yeah, Bruce has kept it running for me all these years.”
She smiles up at me and asks, “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise. I hope you like it.” I open the door for her and hold her arm to help her climb in.
Since both of us are nervous, I turn on my Johnny Cash playlist I made when I remembered how much she used to like to sing to him. And even though she did it off-key, something I used to tease her about, she’d sing at the top of her lungs anyway.
She smiles at me. “You missed my voice that much?”
“Baby, I missed everything about you that much.”
I’m rewarded with her blush before she opens her mouth to torture my eardrums. Just a little bit.
As I drive with her singing next to me, I’m reminded of when we were in school and would go for long drives through the country. We’d talk and laugh and sing to whatever country music the local station would play. I hope she’s remembering that too.
When we drive into Greenwood, Hillary narrows her eyes at me. “What are you up to?”
“
You’ll see.”
I turn on the outskirts of town to drive up the mountain pass. I’m excited to see her face when we get there. When we pass the sign that reads Greenwood Zipline Adventure, she grins.
“Oh, Alec. Do you know about all the thrill-seeking things I’ve done? It’s funny… I’ve been skydiving, swimming with sharks, and parasailing, but I’ve never tried ziplining. This is going to be so fun!”
I didn’t know, but when she grabs my hand as we make our way to the main shop to sign in, I’m relieved I picked the right thing. She practically skips beside me.
We’re set to go out with a group of six others, and after our safety session, where we get fitted in helmets and doused in bug spray neither of us really need as shifters, we head to the chairlift.
It’s a quad chair, and we get on with two young women. As soon as we are out of the loading station and past the loud whine of the engine, one girl leans across her friend to ask, “Are you Alec Thompson, the quarterback?”
I give her a strained smile, because the twinkle in her eye makes me think she’s not interested in me for my football stats. “I am.”
She squeals, and my heart sinks. It’s going to be a little hard to woo Hillary if I’ve got a groupie interfering.
The girl hits her friend’s arm. “I told you!” The two women gaze at me with dreamy expressions. “I’m Annie and this is Tracy, and we are your biggest fans.”
“Oh my god, yes,” says Tracy. “We watch every game and have shirts with your number on them, and”—she pauses to giggle—“we like the pants you wear.”
Hillary lets out a small groan only I can hear, and I grab her hand, desperate to make this better in any way I can. “That’s flattering. Thank you.” I lean back and let go of Hillary’s hand to put my arm around her shoulders. “This is my girlfriend, Hillary.”
“Oh,” Annie’s face falls. “What happened to Emery?”
“Yeah,” says Tracy. “Weren’t you two supposed to get married?” She frowns as she gives Hillary the once over in a way that even I, a man who doesn’t speak girl, can see is disapproving.
