by V. Vaughn
When I get home, I’m restless and decide to shift and go for a run. I crouch on the ground and let the transformation happen. It’s easier this time than last. Shifting is definitely something that can get rusty when you’re out of practice. It won’t be long before morphing into my panther will be no more stressful than sneezing.
As soon as I’ve changed form, I bound into the surrounding trees and stretch my legs out to run as fast as I can. My panther is agile, and we leap, dodge, and weave through the trees like a well-trained athlete.
I run aimlessly, and when I find myself near houses, I realize I’ve come to Mandy’s neighborhood. Lazily I saunter up the street as if I’m on the prowl, and perhaps I am. Because I stop in front of her house and gaze into the living room window from the street.
I see movement and recognize Daniel. Mandy comes into the room a few moments later rubbing her eyes, and after she talks to Daniel, he goes to sit on the couch and she walks into the kitchen. I guess the boy got up for something to drink or because of a bad dream. She returns to the living room and plops down on the sofa like she’s exhausted. I’m sure she is. When she came to get Daniel today, she told me the diner has been busier than usual.
Something makes Daniel get up and walk over to the window. It’s not a sound, because I’m not making any, and I haven’t heard one. He looks at me, and we lock gazes. It’s eerie, because he doesn’t know what kind of shifter I am, yet he smiles as if he knows me anyway. He lifts his hand and waves, and my heart nearly explodes with emotion. Love. The love I have for my son makes me grin like a fool, thrilled I have a child and that he’s now in my life.
I recall how easily he came to trust me. Sure, he was a little shy at first, but it only took Daniel minutes to accept that I was someone who had his best interests at heart. And I do. The same way Mandy does. It makes me realize I need to find a way to trust his mother again. She’s finding a way to trust me, and I owe it to her, and to Daniel, to try to do the same.
Chapter 23
MANDY
Nerves are making me sick to my stomach as I riffle though the blouses hanging in my closet. I don’t think I’ve felt this way since Griffin took me on our first date way back in the tenth grade. We went to the drive-in in his dad’s pickup truck and sat on a blanket in the back to watch a horror movie about some guy with a saw. It was horrific, and I spent the entire time with my head buried in Griffin’s shoulder. I smile when I remember he admitted later that was the whole purpose of taking me to see a horror film.
I glance over at the pile of clothing I’ve already tried on and discarded on my bed. I can’t figure out what to wear for my date with Griffin. I’ve put on everything from a super-sexy tight dress that showcased some major cleavage to a pair of jeans skinny jeans with a frilly top that made me look like I was copying the high school girls who come into the diner.
Another dress hanging in my closet catches my eye and I pull it out. It’s a blue floral with a halter top. It’s long enough I don’t look like I’m trying to be sexy, but the backless halter makes it feminine and a little provocative. I go with it before I change my mind again, because I’ve run out of options.
I’m putting the finishing touches on my makeup when Daniel wanders into the bathroom. Hillary had to run errands and offered to pick him up on the way home for his sleepover at her house. His eyes widen like saucers. “Mommy, you’re so pretty. When I grow up, I’m going to marry you.”
I smile and ruffle his hair as my heart nearly explodes with love. “Thank you, sweetie.”
I’ve tried hard to be a good mom. I’ve read all the latest parenting books and listened hundreds of podcasts. But I’ve always felt as if I failed him when it comes to a father figure. And especially now that I see how well Griffin is doing with Daniel.
Now I have a chance to make it right, and I really hope I can.
The doorbell rings and I jump. It’s Hillary, and she comes in grinning.
“You look gorgeous. You’re wearing makeup.”
Self-doubt creeps in. “Is it too much?”
“No, it’s fabulous. I wish my makeup would look that good.” She moves her finger in a circle. “Twirl. I think I need to see the back of that dress.
I laugh nervously as I turn around.
“Hot mama! It’s a good thing Daniel’s sleeping over.”
“Oh, god. I can change.”
Hillary grabs my hand before I can walk away. “Don’t you dare. You aren’t the least bit over-the-top. Stop overthinking things.”
Daniel runs into the room. “Hi, Hillary.”
“Hey there, big guy. Ready to come for a sleepover?”
He nods, and the doorbell rings again. Hillary and I exchange a glance before I open the door to Griffin. Daniels squeals and jumps up and down.
“Can I go play with Griffin again?”
I shake my head. “Sorry bud, not today. But for sure another day.”
He’s crestfallen, and his bottom lip pops out. Griffin ruffles his hair. “We’ll go soon, buddy. I promise.”
He nods but doesn’t look convinced.
Hillary hugs me, and then murmurs in my ear, “Call me if you need Daniel to stay longer in the morning so you can have breakfast in bed.”
My face heats up with my embarrassment.
Hillary chuckles as she grabs Daniel's hand, along with his things, and leads him out of the house to her car. “Have a good time, you two.”
So much for only being worried about getting through the date without saying or doing anything stupid. Now all I can wonder is if I’m going to have sex. I think I’ve taken flustered to a whole new level.
Griffin’s wearing a black button-down shirt, dark blue jeans, and black boots. His dark hair is tousled like he doesn’t care, and he has just the right sprinkling of scruff over his chin and jaw. He knows I love a man with a five o’clock shadow. And now there’s no way I will ever get the idea of sex out of mind with him looking this good.
Griffin looks me over, too. It’s a slow, hungry perusal that makes my insides tingle. “You look unbelievable.”
“Thank you.” I grab my purse from the living room sofa even though I’d rather undo all the buttons on his shirt. “Shall we go?”
“Absolutely.”
After I lock up and he leads me to his truck, he opens the door for me and offers his hand to help me up into the high cab. I take it and relish the warmth of his fingers around mine. For a moment I think I want him to hold on forever. As he walks over to his side, I smile because maybe I do.
Chapter 24
GRIFFIN
I know my eyes should be on the road as I drive us to the expensive restaurant I booked for my date with Mandy. But I can’t stop looking at her in the passenger seat of my truck. She’s gorgeous. Her eyes are sultry with the makeup magic she performed, and a deep heat has settled in my groin. She put on red lipstick, too. It makes her mouth beg to be kissed. Her dark hair cascades over her pale shoulders in waves of silkiness that I imagine spread out over the pillow on my bed.
My panther is beside himself with joy. The beast is so happy to be near his mate that he’s driving me crazy with his low throaty growls and pressure on my skin to escape. I need my animal to calm the hell down so I don’t prematurely shift. I feel like I’m a teenager again with the way I can’t seem to control my primal urges. If I’m not careful I’m going to crash this truck.
However, we do make it to the restaurant without any fender benders. The hostess shows us to our table, a quiet one in the back, where I pull out Mandy’s chair for her to sit. Her eyes are big as she reads the menu, and to help her out I say, “Reviews say the Beef Wellington is extraordinary. I know the perfect red to have with it, too.”
She smiles at me with gratitude, and it warms my heart. “That sounds perfect.”
After we order, I sit back and start to get to know Mandy all over again. I figure our first date means I can ask all the first-date questions I want. “When did you start working at the diner?�
�
“Not long after you left. Rita Mae was a friend of my mom’s, and she told her that she was looking for someone, and I went in for an interview. Completely bombed it.” I chuckle. “I was late, and I kept knocking things off her desk because I was fidgeting so much, and I know I answered all the questions wrong. I figure she took pity on me and hired me anyway.” She shrugs. “I know it’s not glamourous or exciting, probably like all the girls you’re used to hanging around, but I truly love it. I like the customers. I like being part of what feels like a huge family.”
I smile as she talks. She’s so down-to-earth, so at home with who she is and where she is. I admire that. “No, I get it. It sounds great to be a part of something like that.” I reach out and take her hand. “And as far as being like other girls, I’m really glad you’re not.”
I’m rewarded with her cheeks flushing pink. She manages to blurt out, “Touring, being with the same band all the time… That must’ve felt like a family to you.”
I take a sip of wine. “It should, you know? We had no choice but to be close so that when we were onstage things would run smoothly. But it wasn’t always that way offstage.”
I could tell her about all the lonely nights I had on the road. The long rehearsal days and really long drives on the tour bus, that although outfitted with all the luxuries and all my favorite things like an Xbox and a subscription to Netflix, it never felt like a home. The guys in my usual band were great. Nice, friendly guys, except for Rick, the bassist. He was a bit of an asshole. We had some really fun, wild times, but they were never family. I could never be my authentic self around them, and it wasn’t just my panther that I had to hide. It was anything that didn’t seem like something a cocky rock star would think.
“What was it like on tour?” She gives me a soft smile before taking a sip of wine. I have to drop my gaze from her mouth because all I can think about is licking the wine off her plump lips.
“Mostly tiring and boring, but it could get crazy. I remember this one time during my first European tour. We were in Amsterdam with another band. We went down to the red-light district, as you do…” I chuckle.
She laughs with me.
“Anyway, one of the guys ended up trapped in a window display. He was hanging upside down with a ball gag in his mouth, and a woman in latex was whipping him with a riding crop.”
Mandy gasps and quickly covers her mouth. I say, “Poor guy, we watched for at least twenty minutes before we went and rescued him.”
She shakes her head. “That’s kind of what I thought being on tour might be like.”
“That sort of thing wasn’t the norm. Not so much these days, anyway. I think it was back in the eighties with bands like Mötley Crüe and Van Halen, but we can’t get away with that crap much now. Thank God. It might have been me being spanked the next time.”
She smiles. “Do you miss being out on tour?”
“No!” I chuckle again at how quickly I answered her considering that going on tour was a dream I had during our entire relationship. I shrug. “Neither of us saw that coming, did we?”
“No, we sure didn’t.” She leans back to let the waiter reach her glass. Ice rattles as he tops off our water.
I say, “Hotel rooms get old, fast. So does room service. Sometimes I want to eat simple spaghetti with jarred sauce and plain beef meatballs.”
She grins. “Like father like son.”
I smile back because I know Daniel would eat that meal every night if Mandy let him. “I want to go for a run in a neighborhood without the bustle of traffic in a place where nobody cares who I am. I can’t even shop for jeans without it being reported in some magazine right down to what I said to the salesperson and what size waist I’m wearing now.”
“Thirty-two with a thirty-four-inch inseam.” Mandy recites before she laughs. “Sorry, I heard one of your groupies discussing it yesterday.”
“If I had my way, I’d sit at home and just work on songs without a bunch of people hovering around me. But unfortunately, the big money is made going on tour.”
“I bet. Tickets are so expensive. Your life on the road sounds more exhausting and less glamorous than I assumed it would be.”
I nod. “It is. It was. It’s why I came home. I’m tired.”
“When you first left, I used to peruse all the music sites to see where you were playing. I had a map in my room, and I’d stick a tack in the different cities you’d play.” Her smile is wistful, a bit sad, and it makes me sad to see it. “After your first tour, I think there must’ve been over a hundred tacks in the wall.”
“Yeah, I think I lost count after fifty.” I sip more wine. All this talk about my tours has made my resolve to stay in Heartland stronger. The only thing I miss, well, my panther misses it most, is being on stage. We do like to strut. But that can be arranged to happen occasionally. I say, “I’m thinking about staying home permanently.”
Mandy’s eyes widen. “Really?”
I think the news makes her happy, and I lean back in my chair to try to be casual about the whole thing. “I have enough money to last a lifetime. I made some solid investments along the way instead of spending it all like a fool. And I’ve been around long enough now that I can still put out albums and have them sell, or maybe just write for other musicians.”
She smiles. “I’m glad to hear you listened to my advice to invest your money.”
I smile back. “I heard you, sweetheart. Every single time I socked some away.” I’m not blowing smoke. I really did think about Mandy whenever I invested my money. The fantasy of our big farmhouse with kids underfoot would come to me as I’d remember her saying if I could get us that with my music that would be all she ever needed. She never wanted much. Love and happiness were her only goals. Admirable ones I should have remembered.
I say, “I would like to write songs for the love of music now, not for a paycheck.”
Our salads arrive, and we stop talking. Silverware clashes on the plates as we eat, and Mandy doesn’t comment on what I just said. When I search her face, I can’t read her expression to tell whether she’s impressed by my decision or concerned.
While Mandy is still funny and loving, she’s not as lighthearted as she was in high school. I’m sure being a single mother has a lot to do with that, but I think she’s built up a wall to protect her heart. I get why, but it makes me want to do whatever I can to knock it down.
I ask, “What do you think about having me around more? I’m keeping my parents’ house, and I have no plans of moving elsewhere. Will it be a good thing or a bad thing for you?”
She sets her fork down and licks her lips. “If you’re serious, then I think it will be a good thing. I’d love to have you around to help with Daniel. It would definitely take a lot stress off of me with regards to work. And I think it’s important for you to be in his life.”
Disappointment fills me. I’m surprised by her answer, because I wanted her to be happy that I’m here for her. I wanted to hear that she wants to spend more time with me.
Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised. That wall of hers is strong, and even if she’s happy that I’m sticking around for romantic reasons, she’s not going to go out on a limb and tell me. Yet. My cocky side says I’m right, that Mandy is totally into me, but I can’t help the niggling fear in my mind that maybe I’m wrong.
Chapter 25
MANDY
Savory beef flavor fills my mouth. The meat is so tender it practically melts on my tongue. I want to devour every bite, but if I did, I’d burst. So, when the waiter comes to clear our plates, I ask him to put the rest in a doggie bag for me.
A band began to play while we ate, and the music reminds me of what one might have heard in the fifties. I think the man is singing a Dean Martin song if my vague recollection of the music my grandparents loved is correct.
Griffin says, “There’s a cocktail lounge here. Want to go see the band after dessert?”
“Dessert?” I let out a small groan. “I’m
too full. But you go ahead.”
“How about after we dance for a while?”
He flashes his smile, and I have an idea what he’s thinking. A little body contact sounds appealing to me too. “I like the sound of that plan.”
Griffin pays our bill, and we make our way to the lounge. The room is dimly lit with small round tables that have high-backed velvet chairs. It’s a cozy place, and we find a table and order a drink. A man in a suit is behind the microphone while a brass section sits at podium-like stands.
I notice older couples dancing and realize we’re the youngest ones in the lounge. But this is so Griffin. He loves all sorts of music, and I know he’s thrilled to be experiencing this. With him, I’m sure I will love it too.
I lean in and say, “The singer has got some pipes.”
Griffin chuckles at my terminology. “He does. What do you think about the guy on the tenor sax?”
I dig deep into my mind for more catchphrases I’ve heard him say and reply, “Great embouchure.”
Griffin laughs. “Do you have any idea what that means?”
I grin. “I think it has to do with your ability to pucker up.” I make a selfie duck face to emphasize my point, and he leans in to tilt my chin up with his finger as if he’s inspecting my mouth.
His voice lowers in tone when he says, “That’ll do.”
I wrap my fingers around his hand and lower it from my chin. “Yeah.” My insides are heating up and I want more than anything to be held by Griffin right now. “Let’s dance.”
He smiles at me with heat in his eyes that nearly melts me into a puddle, and I let him lead me to the dance floor. He lifts my hand and wraps an arm around my waist the way the other men are doing to their partners, and our bodies press against each other.
