by Iona Rose
“That’s not important Connor,” my mother said, her forehead creased with worry.
I could imagine what was going through her mind. Her son was a cheat and was dangling two women, making promises to one and who knew what else to the other. Looking at her worried expression made my chest squeeze. I hated to cause any distress to either of my parents, especially my mother.
I tried to think of an explanation because clearly, they were waiting for one.
“I know there’s a good reason why you were with that woman,” my mother said.
“I can’t wait to hear it,” my father said, his tone heavy with sarcasm.
“It is but it’s humiliating and embarrassing,” I said.
“It can’t be more that what we think of you right now. We are good people Connor. Why would you do something like that to a lovely woman like Bianca?” my father continued.
I had no choice. I had to come clean with the truth. I shot Sarah an angry look. Why couldn’t she have kept her big mouth shut and come to me instead. I had been congratulating myself on how fast I had dealt with the issue of Angie.
Now, I was going to have to confess to the whole thing. My family would think I was a complete idiot. With the hindsight that comes with time, I saw my mistakes as clearly as if I was looking through a glass window.
I should not have come with Bianca as my fake fiancée. That wasn’t right either because getting to know her was what had opened my eyes to how much I’d been short changing myself with Angie.
I inhaled deeply and started speaking. “It’s true that you saw me with another woman yesterday but it’s not what you think. Her name is Angie and she’s my ex-fiancée. She broke our engagement just before we were to travel here for the wedding.”
“So who is Bianca?” Sarah asked.
That was the hard part. There was no way to explain it without looking like a complete fool.
“Bianca is a friend.” What I didn’t specify was when we had become friends. “I asked her to come with me to Colorado as my fiancée.”
“Why?” my father said.
“So that no one would ask him questions about his love life and when he’s planning on settling down.”
I was relieved when Sarah answered for me.
“Is that true Connor?” my mother asked.
“More or less. I’d already asked Angie to come with me to Colorado and I’d already told you guys that I was bringing my fiancée. I was sure the whole extended family knew. It just seemed easier to come with Bianca rather than explain that my fiancée had dumped me.”
I hoped that I didn’t sound as pathetic as my story was. I was sure I wore a sheepish face. My parents were clearly at a loss for words as they were just staring at me. I could easily imagine what was going through their minds. They were probably wondering whether their real son had been swapped at the hospital when my mother gave birth to me.
If I were them, I’d have suspected the same thing too.
My father was the first to move. He shook his head. “You mean to tell me that you and Bianca made a decision to lie to all of us that you’re engaged?”
I met and held his gaze. “Yes. I know it was a stupid thing to do and I wish I hadn’t but please don’t blame Bianca. She thought she was coming as my girlfriend. I only told her when we got to the lodge that she was going to act as my fiancée. She didn’t speak to me for hours.”
“You coerced her into agreeing to this ridiculous charade?” my father said.
“Coerce is a strong word. Convinced is better.”
“I can’t believe that I actually believed it,” my mother said softly, almost as if she was talking to herself. She turned to me. “You don’t need to lie to us about your relationship status. I do blame myself a little. I guess I do pile on the pressure.”
“He’s an adult Judy, not a twelve-year-old,” my father growled.
He was right. It had been a stupid idea in the first place and if I told them that alcohol had been involved, they would have come to the conclusion that I had a drinking problem.
My mother let out a big sigh and then straightened her shoulders. “Okay, we have a wedding tomorrow. Let’s put this business behind us and enjoy ourselves. For the record, I think Bianca is awesome and I hope you two will see how perfect you are for each other.”
“Your mother is right,” my father said. “There’s no point in dwelling on it. You can tell that nice young lady that she can stop acting now.”
Sarah and I stood up and after bidding our parents goodnight, we left. I was still mad at her and I walked a few steps in front of her. She sprinted to catch up with me.
“Hey, wait up.”
I stopped and looked at her.
“Can’t you be nicer to me,” she said. “Tomorrow is my wedding day.” Sarah put on a lost puppy look.
I shook my head. “You should have come to me Sarah not gone telling tales to mom and dad. We’re adults now, not little kids.” I meant every word. It hurt that my own sister had felt that she couldn’t come to me herself.
“I see that now and I’m sorry,” she said. Unexpectedly, tears sprung into her yes. “Please forgive me.”
Seeing her get so emotional about it evaporated my anger. I opened my arms and she flew into them.
“I’ll always come to you first, I promise,” Sarah said.
“Deal.”
“Are you going to tell Bianca?”
“I don’t know. I’m really enjoying being engaged to her. She’s fun.”
“And sexy. I think there’s something there big bro. You guys are so perfect for each other and she’s mad about skiing like you.”
I smiled at her but did not respond.
Loud music was coming from the bar and Sarah and I made our way there. A party was obviously going on with some people at the bar and others on the dance floor. My eyes scanned the room until they fell on Bianca.
She was seated at a table with my aunts engaged in what looked to be an animated conversation. She was so engrossed in it that she only noticed me when I was standing right in front of her.
She looked up at me with her big, brown, almond shaped eyes and I knew that I had to tell her that we didn’t need to pretend any more. I didn’t want her hearing it from my parents or from Sarah.
“Hey, do you want to go somewhere quieter?” I said to her.
She searched my face and then stood up.
“Party pooper,” my aunts called after me. I got two fresh wines from the bartender and led Bianca to the lounge where it was quieter and we had some privacy.
We sat down on the couch, our knees angled towards each other and I handed her the wine.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yes, I guess,” I said. “My family found out about us.”
“What do you mean?”
She looked so stinking cute when she was puzzled.
“About our engagement being fake,” I said, wondering how it would change things between us.
We had three more nights at the lodge before we had to fly back home and I wanted to enjoy what we had before real life invaded.
“How?” Bianca said.
That was the hard part. “I met Angie yesterday at some hotel restaurant and apparently Sarah saw us. She went and told my parents about it. That’s why they wanted to see me.”
She stared at me with an expression I couldn’t read.
“You lied to me about where you were going,” she said. “I thought we were friends. Friends don’t lie to each other, even by omission.” I read her expression clearly then. She looked hurt.
My chest constricted and I longed to wipe the hurt look from her face. I’d messed up the whole thing. “I’m sorry. I should just have told you where I was going. She texted me and said she was in Colorado and wanted to meet. I agreed just to get her off my back.”
“So this means that we don’t have to pretend any more, right?” she said.
Panic came over my chest. There was so much I wanted
to say. Like the fact that I had told Angie I was really done with her. That I wanted to continue with what we were doing and it was the chilliest, most exciting time I’d ever had in my life.
Instead, idiot me said, “I guess so.”
She smiled tightly and stood up. “In that case, I’d better enjoy my new found freedom.”
Bianca
I woke up with a pounding headache on the day that I’d been most looking forward to since meeting Brian and Sarah. I tried to lift my head from the bed, failed and let it fall back. It was as if aliens had invaded my body.
In the distance, I could hear the sounds of the shower. That meant that Connor was already awake but he hadn’t been stupid enough to drown himself with alcohol like I had. The plan had been to anaesthetize myself with wine and it had worked, up to a point.
I’d stopped obsessing over Connor and Angie and I’d even managed to have a good time. I’d been the life of the party and the last one to leave. All along, Connor had sit at the bar, sipping water and watching me. At one point in the evening, he had asked if we could call it a night and I’d said no, and he could go if he wanted.
He hadn’t. He had returned to his position at the bar and only left it when the party wound down and everyone went to their rooms. On the way to our room, Connor had attempted to take my hand but I’d shoved him off.
“Why are you so upset?” he had asked me.
I’d ignored him. How could I tell him that I was upset because I was jealous? That I finally understood that he belonged to someone else and could never be mine, even if I wanted him to.
No woman, even one who is not interested in a relationship wants to believe that she’s second to another one. All Angie had needed to do was to text Connor and he had gone off running to her. I had no right to him, but it had still hurt. Deeply.
It had highlighted how little what we had meant to him.
He was borrowed and when the person who held his heart came for him, he had gone without an explanation. I was green with envy for a woman who did not deserve him.
I’d been angry that Connor couldn’t see for himself that Angie did not deserve his devotion and loyalty. The shower water turned off and I tensed up. The next two days were going to be terrible and I couldn’t wait for them to be over so that I could go back home and lick my wounds in peace.
A minute later, the bathroom door opened and Connor strode into the room. I opened one eye and looked at him. He wore his towel loosely around his hips and despite my lingering anger with him, my breath hitched. Just looking at him was enough for desire to engulf my whole body.
“Good morning,” he said, his tone careful.
“Morning,” I said, my mouth dry.
“It doesn’t look like a very good morning for you,” he teased.
I wished that I could pretend that I didn’t care that he still loved Angie. I longed to have him back in my bed. I imagined running my hands over his muscled chest and having his strong arms wrapped around me. then for those precious minutes, I could pretend that he was mine.
“Not very,” I said, inhaling deeply in an effort to ease the tightness in my chest.
I looked away when he dropped his towel.
He dressed and then opened the cooler in the room and brought me a bottle of water and an aspirin. “You’ll feel better in no time. Can I bring you a breakfast tray?”
The thought of breakfast made me want to throw up. “No thanks.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Moments later, he turned to go but paused for a few seconds at the door as if he wanted to say something.
He didn’t.
I sat up and swallowed the pill and washed it down with the deliciously cold water. It cooled down my throat which had been feeling as if a fire had been lit in there.
I longed to slide back into the covers and sleep for another hour but a glance at the time and I knew that I really needed to get up. I’d promised Sarah to join her and her wedding party in her suite to get my hair and makeup done and just hang out with them.
With a groan, I coaxed myself out of bed and into the bathroom. By the time I was done with a shower, I was feeling marginally better. I wore the black lacy bra and panties I’d chosen to wear for the wedding, and the lodge bathrobe over my underwear.
I wasn’t expecting any calls or messages. Eva was aware that I’d be busy all day with the wedding. Anybody else could wait.
Sarah’s suite was on the other side of the lodge and I ran into a few people as I made my way there. From the casual, warm greetings I received from Connor’s aunts and cousins, I figured that his parents and Sarah had decided to keep news of our fake engagement to themselves.
I was relieved. I wasn’t sure I could have endured sympathetic looks from everyone. I knocked lightly on the bridal suite door and pushed it open. Scents of perfume and styling gels hit me as soon as I stepped into the room.
It was a beehive of activity with all of Sarah’s four bridesmaids in the room, all in bathrobes and the styling team busy with them.
“Bianca,” Sarah said, crossing the room to hug me. She took my hand and led me to one of the two other rooms.
I called out cheery good mornings to everyone as I trailed after Sarah. She shut the door when we got to the room and pulled me into another hug.
“I think your awesome and if my brother was clever, he would not let you go,” she said.
I smiled, her words warming my insides. “Thanks.”
“How are you holding up?”
“Weird. I’d gotten used to being Connors fiancée,” I said surprisingly myself with my honesty.
There was something about Sarah that made me trust her. She was warm and friendly and a genuinely good person. I’d also being impressed by her sense of right and wrong even when the subject of the matter was her beloved brother.
She had gone straight to her family and together they had confronted Connor. To me, it was a sign of a family that was not afraid to confront issues, and confront someone when they were in the wrong. I hoped Connor knew how blessed he was to come from such a strong and loving family.
“Everything will work out well, I just know it,” she said.
“It will. Enough about me. Today is your big day and I for one want to have the best day. How are you?”
Sarah grinned. “Excited. I can’t believe that after today, I’ll get to call Brian my husband.”
I couldn’t even imagine how that felt like. “I’m so happy for you guys. Let’s go get you ready and make you as beautiful outside as you are on the inside.”
Tears sprung into her eyes. “If I was a guy, I’d marry you.”
I laughed amid my own tears.
Back in the suite living room, I found myself propelled to a station and one of the stylists working on my hair. It was relaxing to rest my eyes and allow someone else to do their thing on my hair.
Fifteen minutes later, a makeup woman by the name of Andrea came to inspect my face.
“You have near perfect features,” she said, studying my face like a scientific specimen under a microscope. “Less is more.”
I gave her the go ahead to do as she pleased. I didn’t really care what she did with my face. The one person I’d have wanted to impress was clearly spoken for. I just needed to look decent.
An hour later and I headed back to our room to dress up. I was relieved when I found the room empty. The less I saw of Connor, the better. I fetched my dress from the closet and laid it on the bed. I’d specifically bought it with Connor in mind.
I remembered how excited I’d been as the fantasy that he was secretly into me grew in my mind. What a fool I’d been. I shrugged out of the bathrobe and slipped into the deep berry long gown with a leg split and a plunging neck line.
It was designed to make the wearer feel and look sexy. I needed all the help I could get.
The wedding ceremony was slated to begin at eleven and the guests were to be seated in the barn at twenty minutes to eleven. I was about to pick up my pu
rse when the door swung open and Connor strode in.
I knew it was him when the door opened but seeing him in his black tuxedo and pristine white shirt made my breath hitch. The sight of him jolted something in me, leaving me feeling vulnerable and weak in the knees.
I tried to tell myself that he had lied to me by omission. But my stupid heart refused to listen and I breathed as if I’d come from running a marathon.
“I thought we’d go together,” he said sounding unsure.
“Okay.” I slipped on my coat, grabbed my purse and crossed the room.
“You look beautiful,” Connor said, looking at me in a way that made me want to strip off the gorgeous dress and invite him to ravish me.
“Thank you. You look nice too.”
Out in the hallway, he offered me his arm and I took it. Luckily, I didn’t have to think about Connor too much as there was lots to distract me.
“You two look great,” Aunt Catherine said as she stepped in behind us.
“So do you,” I told her and Connor echoed my sentiments.
It seems like the whole wedding party had picked that time to stroll to the barn. Outside, everything was still as if the world had paused for Sarah and Brian’s wedding. There had been a forecast of snow but so far there was no sign of a storm and I hoped it wouldn’t come until later in the day, or even better, at night.
The barn had been converted to a church of sorts and beautifully decorated with the wedding theme colors of pantone rose brown and rose gold. Connor and I took our places in the family pew even though I felt like a total fraud sitting there.
Judy flashed me a warm smile which made me feel a little better.
The groom and his groomsmen lined up at the front of the make shift church and the excitement levels went up. They looked so handsome in gray tuxedos and rose red ties.
Against my wishes, an image of Connor as the groom popped into my mind. I pushed it away as the wedding march came on. We all turned back to look at the entrance and when the bride emerged in the arms of her father, we all stood up.
Sarah was practically glowing in her ivory satin, off the shoulder wedding dress. She only had eyes for Brian as she walked down the aisle. Brian took her hand and for a few seconds, it was as if they had forgotten where they were and the world consisted of just the two of them.
