by Ford, Mia
“Then maybe I won’t…” she snaps back, taking the bait in totally the wrong way.
“But due to your behavior today, I’m going to have to insist that you do. This tense atmosphere is no good for Oliver and his happiness is my main priority now, as I’m sure you are aware.”
“Urgh.” She rolls her eyes and stomps from the room. “Fine, whatever.”
There’s more banging and crashing, plus a whole string of swear words. Thank goodness Oliver can only make noises at the moment, he isn’t yet picking up words. But while she’s out of the room, I don’t need to focus on her. I can concentrate on the other issue at hand which is Alexa. I need to find out what’s going on with her in any way possible. I don’t want to invade her privacy or anything, I just want to know that she’s okay.
An idea pops in to my mind. Maybe not the smartest one that I’ve ever thought of, but I’m desperate right now, I need an answer and I need it now. So, I put in a call to the land line phone. If Alexa answers, I will just discuss with her what’s going on in a brief way, just to calm me down, and if her father picks up…
“Hello?” It’s the Admiral. Of course it is. Thank goodness I have a plan for this.
“Hi, boss, it’s Reece. I just wanted to talk to you about some stuff.”
“Oh right, Reece. Is this to do with your nanny situation? HR filled me in.”
“Ah, yes.” I sound embarrassed, it’s awkward because it’s Valencia and he knows her. “Yes, it’s all got a bit complicated and she doesn’t want to work with me anymore. Which leaves me in a mess with Oliver. Now, I know that you have only just offered me a position in training, rather than at a desk, but with my son…”
“You can’t come in at the moment, until you find a replacement. That’s fine, I understand. We are in the process of delegating your work to other people in the office anyway, and we don’t need to start worrying about your training position just yet. You are okay to take some time. Get your situation sorted out first.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. At least that is sorted now. That was troubling me.
“Okay great, thank you. That means a lot to me. Again, you have saved me.” He chuckles. “So… is everything alright?” I don’t know how to phrase this, to ask more. “Nothing to worry about?”
“No, everything went smoothly today. It’s all good.”
I suppose if he was worried about Alexa, I would know about it by now, so while it isn’t confirmation, it is a little bit. She hasn’t been in some sort of accident or anything. It’s fine.
“Okay, well that’s good. And I will… get this all sorted as soon as I can. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Brilliant, thank you. I guess I will be speaking to you soon then.”
As I hang up the phone, I feel kinda good. It’s all moving in the right direction. And Alexa will be in touch with me soon, that will be cleared up so I won’t need to worry about her any longer.
“Okay then, Oliver.” I smile at my baby boy. Despite everything that’s been going on, I have had a really good day with him. He’s such a lovely little boy. I know that his mother would be proud. “Let’s get some food sorted then, shall we?” He coos and giggles. He’s been so happy with me today. “What do you fancy to eat?”
I start looking through the cupboards to see what I can find while Oliver continues to play with his toys on the floor. It’s a blissful moment, peaceful, more normal than anything I’ve been through in a long while. I need more moments like this to try and negate the craziness that I seem to get myself in all the damn time.
I find some ingredients, flick the radio on, and start cooking. Thankfully, it seems that even Oliver is done with Valencia’s craziness. He’s ignoring everything that she’s doing. In a way, I wish that he could talk so I could find out how happy he really is about this. He must be over the moon. It does leave me a little guilty actually, this is something that I should have done a lot sooner. I wish I found the motivation before.
As I get dinner cooked and me and Oliver sit down to eat it, I’m amazed to realize that she has made this whole dramatic scene last all day long. Maybe she is one of those people who could be on the stage. But finally, she comes crashing down the stairs with all of her belongings. Again, that takes forever, but at least it means that the end is coming. She will be out of here soon and my new life can begin. I hope that soon enough, I will hear from Alexa and she can come and celebrate this with me. I would truly adore that.
“Can I have my cab money then? And my final pay?” she snaps. “Then I will be gone.”
I smile at her as I hand over the cash. But I get nothing but a frown back. She’s determined to be angry, she’s going to hold on to it for a long time, so there isn’t anything that I can do about it.
“Well, I will be off then.” But then her lips curl up in to a smile. No, not a smile. A smirk. She looks oddly pleased with herself, like this has given her something to be pleased about. She’s probably trying to make me paranoid, she wants me to be uneasy as she goes, Alexa pretty much said that she can be very manipulative so I’m not going to fall for any of it. She can say whatever she wants before she goes, as long as she leaves.
“Good, well thank you for all of your work. Like I have said beforehand.”
“Yeah, whatever.” The smirk remains. “And you just be careful, alright?”
“Careful?” Oops, I have slipped in to her trap, without even realizing it.
“Yes, careful. Karma can be a bitch, you know. It will get you.”
I let out a laugh as she walks out, unable to believe that’s how she wants to leave things. Well, it’s done now, it’s over. There isn’t anything for me to worry about. There is no karma working against me here, just a bitter, vindictive woman who cannot let go. Despite the fact that this is all her fault. She did this.
Anyway, I don’t need to worry about Valencia again. I won’t ever need to see her again. I can focus on Oliver now, make sure that he’s okay for the evening. That’s the most important thing in the world. Right now, he needs me, and I know that he’s enjoyed having me around, so I need to give him all of me. Every inch of me. I can switch everything off and focus only on my boy, today has shown me that. The rest of the world and all the problems that it holds… well, that can come much later tonight, when he doesn’t need me anymore.
* * *
Once it starts to get too late for Alexa to contact me back, I give up on that idea. She will be in touch soon, I just know it. Things were amazing between us when she left, I don’t have any reason to believe that she would just ignore me now. Whatever is going on, it has nothing to do with me.
Instead, I have other things to deal with. I have to find a new nanny sooner rather than later.
So, with that in mind, as soon as Oliver is asleep, I log on to the Internet and I begin searching. As it turns out, there are plenty of people who could do this job, it really isn’t that hard. I put myself in a rut, I allowed myself to believe that it would be a real challenge to find someone new, but it isn’t.
Now, I just need to be sure that the next person who comes through this house is right. The one who will improve Oliver’s life and make mine easier, the one who will actually care. I need someone to care.
As I click through all the people with child care qualifications and experience, trying to judge who might be right for Oliver, and firing off emails to the ones who I think are, I feel good. I’m taking back control of my life in every way possible. This is a massive step in the right direction, and once I start my new job as well, everything will be fantastic. How could I ask for more? Of course, this does mean that I still owe the Admiral a lot since he’s the one who helped me get the change of job, but I’ll worry about that later on. One issue at a time.
I send off a text to Alexa, smiling to myself as I do. I don’t know if she will get it any time soon, but I want to let her know that everything is moving in the right direction. I wait for a couple of seconds, but I don’t get a response. But I’m not going to worry
anymore. The admiral is fine, it’s all good, I just need to wait.
Okay, so patience hasn’t always been my strong point, but I can do it. For her. She’s been patient with me when I haven’t been my best, so I owe her the same thing.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alexa
“Hello there, Alexa, is it?” the overly friendly lady with poker straight black hair asks while extending her hand to me. “Thank you for coming to meet with me today. I think that you will really like this living space.”
“Y… yes.” It’s hard to hide my nerves. This is a big day for me. “The pictures online are lovely.”
I almost gave up, in my heart break, it was hard for me to keep my focus, but I ploughed through it all and I’m here. I decided that the best thing for me to do was focus on my future, no matter what Reece is doing. Just because he’s an uncaring asshole, a complete bastard who thought that it was okay to treat me in such a way, it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t better myself. Of course I should. That’s the only good thing to come from this mess. I am going to get myself an apartment and a new job, no matter what is going on.
I saw a more meaningful better life and I want that. Even through all the hurt, that’s what I need.
“Let us go inside then. I can show you around. It’s better to see with your own eyes, I always say.”
The lady takes me from room to room, showing me the most incredible apartment in the world. Okay, so it’s obviously a lot smaller than what I’m used to, and maybe there are some parts of it that could be a lot better, but it’s also a part of the bigger picture. It’s part of the fantasy, about to become reality, and I love it. I adore the adorable living room, the small balcony, the little bathroom, and the bedroom is cute too. In my mind, I’m already moving in, planning where all of my things are going to go. How I will make it my own.
Looking at this place now, planning what comes next, I honestly don’t know how I have managed to wait this long. I don’t know how I stayed living at home for this long. This is exactly what I need.
“I love this place, a lot actually. I want it,” I say with a smile. “What do I need to do to make it my own?”
As she goes through the finances with me, letting me know that I can definitely afford this, especially if the career part pans out like I want it to as well, my heart sings. Tonight, I will be able to go home and tell my father that I’m finally becoming an adult. Not in the way that he wants me to, I’m sure. He probably won’t be proud of me like I want him to, but I don’t have to care about any of that any longer. I’m moving forwards.
In the end, I sign all of the paper work and I get a check sorted. She tells me that I can be moved in by the end of the week, if that’s what I want. And that’s definitely what I want. To start moving forwards positively.
Once I have the apartment all sorted, it’s time for my next appointment. I have a job interview not too far away. If I get it, it will be in walking distance of my new home, making it even better. I don’t know if the whole dream will become reality as I want it to, but that’s okay. Nothing will dishearten me. I’m growing. Developing, becoming a much better version of the person that I have always been. I’m becoming Alexa at last.
* * *
I shake the hand of the woman who I desperately hope will become my boss one day and grin. I think that went well, it certainly seemed to, to me. Lisa even said to me that while I might not be as experienced as some of the other potential candidates who she has seen, my passion shines through and makes me very viable. She said that she might want someone like me, who she can mold and teach, rather than someone who already thinks that they know it all. Every word fills me with hope. I feel like I might have this.
“Right, Alexa,” Lisa beams happily. “It was very interesting talking to you today. I still have a few more people to interview, and it’s only fair to give them a fair shot, but I have a feeling that you will hear from me soon.” She winks… that has to mean something. She wants me, I can feel it. “Thank you very much.”
“Oh no, thank you,” I gush. I really, really appreciate you even seeing me today.”
“Well, you have talent. And sometimes going to college isn’t right for everyone. I didn’t.”
“You didn’t?” That was the part that I was most scared about discussing, so this is awesome.
“No. It wasn’t for me. I was keen to get started, and since you’ve been working in fashion retail, getting a lot of experience, it seems that you took a similar path to me as well.”
I don’t know if that’s exactly what I was doing, but it’s nice that she views it that way. I nod and agree, hoping that I can blag that I have always been following my ambition, ever since I left high school.
“Right, well I will be in touch with you soon, like I said. Thanks again, Alexa.”
We shake hands again and I practically skip from the office. If I can do this while going through the worst experience of my whole damn life, then I really can do anything, can’t I? I’m strong. Stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I really can tackle the whole world and survive. I should be proud…
The sad thing is there is only one person who I want to tell about all of this, and he’s the person I cannot speak to. Every call, every message has gone ignored. He made a fool out of me, and I won’t let him again.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
I grab my phone, expecting it to be him again. I always stare at the call until he rings off, torturing myself the entire time. There isn’t a part of me that wants to pick up, but I do want to remember the good times.
But this time, it isn’t him. It’s Rebecca, who I haven’t spoken to in a little while.
“Hey, Rebecca,” I say with false happiness. “How’s it going?”
“Where the fuck have you been, bitch? I have so much to tell you.”
“Yeah.” This time the smile on my face is real. “I have a lot to tell you as well.”
“Oh right? What’s going on? I haven’t spoken to you since the whole dating website thing.”
It causes a tight knot of pain in my chest, just her mentioning it is too much. Thank fuck I have something else to discuss so we don’t have to get stuck on that damn subject. “Yeah well, fuck that shit.”
“Yeah! Exactly. Fuck that shit!” Rebecca agrees. “The dude was an asshole anyway.”
“Mhmm, anyway. I’ve been looking at an apartment… well, actually I have just signed a lease on a new apartment, and I’ve been for a job interview as well. For a fashion design position. It went quite well…”
“You did?” Rebecca doesn’t sound as pleased for me as I thought she might. “Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know… to get a bit of a life. To be more.”
“But why would you want to do that? You have it all. You have daddy paying for everything.”
“Is that how you view me?” I blanche. “As just some daddy’s rich girl?”
“What’s wrong with that? I would love that! Honestly, if I could have your home and everything done for me, all paid for as well, while only working a few days here and there, I would be over the moon.”
“I always assumed you thought that I should go for more.” I’m stunned to the core.
“Nah. No way. If I ever said anything like that, it’s only because I’m jealous of you. I can’t believe that you would ever give all that up. It’s crazy, you’re crazy… but hey, if it’s what you want…”
“It is what I want,” I shoot back determinedly. “It’s time for me to grow up.”
“Okay, little miss grown up,” she cackles. “You too old to go out tonight?”
“I can’t go out tonight, I have work in the morning at the store…”
“Why do you care about that? If you’re leaving. Just blow it off…”
Once upon a time, I would have done, but not anymore. I might be about to leave that job, but if Lisa rings for a reference for me and I am not around, that won’t look good.
“No, I can�
��t. I need to go to work. Sorry, Rebecca, soon though.”
“Oh, you always say that, Alexa. It’s always soon but you don’t come out anymore. And even when you do, you don’t stay out for a long time. You’ve gotten really boring. I don’t like it.”
“Well, I’m sorry that me growing up is so inconvenient to you.” I roll my eyes. “And I will come out soon. I promise you, I just want to get everything in order now, that’s all. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just give me a call when you get off your high horse, okay?”
As she hangs up the phone, I can’t help but wonder if that signifies the end of our friendship. It’s sad, really. I don’t want to lose her, but it might be time. People don’t often stay in touch with their high school friends, that’s just life, you drift apart naturally. And I am growing in another way to her.
Perhaps we will get things back on track eventually, this might all be a blip. I don’t know, but I suppose it isn’t my top priority right now. I have to get my life in order. Put myself first, not in a selfish way anymore, but in a way that ensures I have something of a positive, meaningful life at last.
A message comes through, and I sigh, wondering if it’s going to be more abuse from my friend. It won’t be an apology, not yet. I have known Rebecca for long enough to know that even if she is undeniably in the wrong, it takes her a long time to cool down before she can talk about it.
But it isn’t, and it isn’t Reece either. It’s my father. He doesn’t often message me like this.
Dad: Come home, right now.
Huh. I might be used to his curt nature, but this feels a bit sharp, even for him. I feel a little stung by his words, like they have jumped off the page and slapped me on the face. I type ferociously back, trying not to get myself in a real state of worry as I do so.
Alexa: What’s wrong, Dad? Is everything okay? I’m just out running a few errands xx
