“What’s up with her? She looked like she saw a ghost!” Two guys had turned around and commented on Adi. A spark of defiance, of wanting to speak up for her, rose up in Honi before he swallowed it down. It was none of his business. But as he walked, a thought kept going through his mind.
There was something going on with the spirit animals that had to do with Adi. For some reason she was in the middle of it. There was a reason that a gift that was to Honi’s knowledge only ever bestowed on his people had manifested in this plain student with glowing amber eyes and the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen on a girl.
4
Tall blades of grass rustled in the wind. A blue sky stretched over miles and miles of rolling hills, mirroring the color if not the texture of wind-driven ocean waves. Adi stood still on the highest point, enjoying the soft, warm caress of the breeze on her skin. Her hair fell freely around her shoulders, and even though her feet were bare, the grass did not hurt them. That alone made her realize that this couldn't be reality. It felt so peaceful, so soothing, just standing here, looking around her. The sun was bright but didn't burn or glare—the wind was gentle and whispered with a hypnotic rhythm through the prairie grass.
When the rustling increased behind her, she turned around dreamily, no rush, no fear. The grass parted, and she found herself face-to-face with the most beautiful animal she had ever seen. She took in the wolf's sapphire eyes, the white teeth in his parted mouth, his oversized puppy paws, too large for his body. She didn't feel afraid. The animal took a step towards her, his tail wagging like a dog. There was no threat in his movement, no growling. In fact, his face looked like it was smiling at her.
Adi stretched out her hand, and the wolf sniffed it in a doglike fashion. She smiled and scratched behind his ears. The animal's eyes closed contentedly, and he lay before her feet to enjoy her caress better. Adi followed him down and curled up next to his furry bulk. The wolf briefly licked her hand, then settled down for a nap. For a moment, his scent seemed familiar to Adi. There was none of the faintly unpleasant odor she knew from large dogs. The wolf smelled of ozone and fir trees, pleasant, woodsy and calming. Adi smiled and relaxed further against the animal’s strong side.
She didn't know how long they were pressed against each other. After a while, she started shifting around, feeling restless. One of the animal's eyes opened and conveyed how not impressed he was with her wiggling. Adi stilled for a moment, but then on a whim poked the wolf in his side. With a surprised woof, the wolf rolled to his front and sprang up. His head tilted, he seemed to consider her for a moment, then without further warning licked her face.
"Ewww," she giggled and wiped his slobber off her skin. When the wolf tried again, she made a run for it. She vaguely remembered hearing that one should never run from a wild animal. Surely that didn't apply to a dream though? She made it a couple of steps when she saw the black coat of her new friend out of the corner of her eyes. When she turned her head, his face looked so funny with his lolling tongue, that she laughed out loud and put on a burst of speed.
She gained a little bit of distance before he was huffing behind her, the noise getting louder and louder. She didn’t even think of bracing herself when a huge weight hit her back, and she was taken down. The wolf wrapped himself around her, and they rolled together before Adi ended up on top of the animal, laughing helplessly. Briefly it occurred to her that if this were reality, she'd be dead, but in her dream, there was no danger, only safety with her furry friend. His tongue licked her face again, and she warded off his attacks with both arms, giggling so hard that her face hurt.
For a while, both beast and human rested in each other's arms—or paws. Adi’s face was only inches away from what in nature would be a fierce predator, her natural enemy, that could rip her throat out with one clench of his jaws. His eyes were kind though, and when Adi looked closely into them, her own widened. She could see a person in there, like a photographic overlay, a transparent figure that reminded her of somebody. Somebody she liked. A lot. But she couldn't focus enough, and when her eyes blinked, all that was there was the wolf.
Suddenly his ears pricked up. Muscles and tendons tensed under her body, and quickly shuffling, the animal squirmed out from under her. Adi fell to the ground with a huff. It didn't hurt, it was still a dream after all, but something was wrong. A feeling of dread made her raise her head. The bright blue sky had turned into a maelstrom of gray and black clouds. Her jaw dropped as she stared. That couldn't be good.
Wake up, wake up, wake up! Adi had always managed to wake herself up when dreams turned bad before. When she was a kid, she could even continue where she’d left off if she got woken from a good dream. Why didn’t it work now? Her companion reacted to the threat as well. His furry butt turned towards her, the wolf stood in front of her, neck hair on edge, both front legs stiff and anchored to the ground as if he were trying to ward off an attack. What could possibly freak out a huge, powerful predator? Adi looked in the direction the wolf was facing but couldn't see anything but swaying grass.
Then beating wings, loud as bullwhips, sounded right above her. Adi's head snapped up, just in time to see a black shape hurtle past her field of vision. Adi gasped and twisted her body out of the way but couldn't avoid the sharp beak tearing a hole into her sleeve. What the hell was that? Before she could react, she felt her skin tear when another birdlike creature attacked. Adi screamed when the pain burned through her like a knife. There was no time to check her injury with more and more attacks happening quickly.
Adi felt her hair being torn from her scalp, and when she touched her head, her hand came back covered in blood. She heard her friend growl and snarl as he jumped as high as he could to defend her. There were just too many sharp claws and beaks. Adi cowered on the ground and covered her head with her hands, which were torn mercilessly. A sharp yelp made her look up, and she saw the wolf being beaten back by a cloud of creatures. They weren't birds exactly, more like caricatures of what some mad artist might conjure up.
Then an unbearable pain tore through her left eye. Her remaining eye stared in disbelief as a creature retreated triumphantly, clutching an eyeball with trailing nerves and muscles in its beak. Adi’s mind wailed in horror. This couldn’t happen to her, why her, never her! And just before her second eye was torn from her skull, her friend and protector turned tail and abandoned her.
Adi shot up straight in bed, her breath whistling through her heaving chest. Her exhales sounded like muffled screams to her, and it took her a moment to realize that she wasn't blinded. There were no birds or wolves or any other weird creatures in her bedroom. Adi grabbed for her phone and turned on the flashlight app. She sprinted towards the light switch and bathed the entire room in bright light. Her hands were shaking, and she poured herself a glass of water in order to calm down a little. The pain and terror still echoed in her mind. There was no way she would go back to sleep in the dark. Or at all. Ever.
Adi slowly walked towards her bed. The shadow under her bed had different shades and textures. It moved when her toe pushed against a sweater sticking out from the darkness. She gulped and her mind went into overdrive. What if there was something under the bed? What if it grabbed her ankles just as she got in? With that comforting thought, Adi took a giant leap and landed in the middle of her mattress. Her heart was racing. She pulled the covers around her heck, barely resisting the impulse to hide underneath them completely. Nope, the light stayed on. Definitely.
While her heart took its time to slow down, Adi tried to focus on something positive. She clutched her medallion while her thoughts landed on the irritating but seriously attractive boy Honi. What an odd name, she thought for a moment before she drily conceded that her name wasn't exactly the most usual either. Adalwolfa. Noble Wolf. Who would curse their daughter with a name straight out of a Prince Valiant novel, seriously?
Thinking of wolves, what about that wolf in her dream? Adi sighed tiredly. Before her dream had turned to all hell, she had felt so sa
fe with the large animal, so cared for, so… loved? Whatever. With a snort, Adi turned over, and as the nightmare drifted away like cobwebs, she tried to catch another few hours’ sleep before her alarm went off in the morning.
Honi often woke up from his spirit travels slightly disoriented. While his body slept, his spirit was busy navigating an alternative reality. He was used to feeling tired and not very well rested after those nights. This morning was no exception. He opened his eyes and stared at his dorm room ceiling. He had spent a couple of hours when he’d moved in sticking night sky constellations on the white-painted plaster. The eerily glowing sticky stars were a strange comfort to him and helped him remember where he was.
This journey had been particularly weird. Honi was used to strange visions, and John had explained in the past that the spirit world would never expose him to more than he could handle. This time though, he felt like he’d been pushed a little too far. Vague memories made him shudder. He tried hard to recall what exactly had made him feel so uneasy.
There had been a girl. His brows drew together in concentration. Not just any girl, Adi with her hair down and looking serene and happy. Ho’neo had merged with him for this experience. He remembered a strong feeling of belonging and an urge to protect. Honi smiled at the memory of her fingers caressing his fur, relaxing him. There was nothing sexual about the touch, and it had felt so nice, so peaceful. Her little body, even smaller when he was in his wolf form, curled up against him, her warmth against his flank, making him feel an overpowering instinct to protect, to love.
And yet there was still this unease, this dread. It made him itchy. Honi closed his eyes and did an internal check on his body. This was a basic meditative technique that had served him well ever since he was a young boy on his first spirit quest. He relaxed each body part in turn—feet, thighs, hips, belly, chest, arms, hands, and finally his face and head. The familiar routine calmed him and allowed him to try to assess what else he had experienced in his journey.
There was something else, something his mind wasn't yet allowing to rise to the surface. Honi frowned and tried harder. Little by little, the calmness drained from him again and was replaced with fear. A threat was coming.
Honi's teeth ground together and he willed himself to relax his jaw muscles. The dream images strengthened, and Honi's eyes flew open. He moaned a little at what he saw in his mind. Adi had been under attack, and he had tried so hard to defend her. There had been too many flying shapes. His wolf eyes hadn’t allowed him to recognize the animals, but they were evil and their intent murderous.
He threw his arm up over his eyes as if to wipe the images off his brain. Those birdlike creatures had hurt the girl, had plucked both her eyes out, and the wolf could do nothing but watch and suffer with her. Adi's screams echoed in his mind, and Honi rolled himself into a ball, whimpering as if he were still the wolf. He nearly threw up, swallowing convulsively to keep the bile down. Adi wasn't really hurt, he kept chanting over and over in his mind. It had felt real though, and suddenly he was overcome with a protective rage that slammed into him like a fist to the stomach.
He sat up in his bed and shook his head, trying to clear it some more. He needed to talk to Adi. Ho’neo had allowed him to experience these images during his spirit journey. There was a reason why he had witnessed the attack on her. That, together with her uncanny ability, the gift she shouldn't have, made him fear for her safety. He quickly splashed water on his face and cursed his long hair. As much as he loved the effect it had on girls and didn't mind the extra care he had to take with it, today he really just wanted to finger-brush it and get out.
Then he caught a glimpse of his face, the wild eyes and near-manic expression. It brought him to a dead stop. He couldn't go and meet Adi like this. Plus it was way too early. He needed to wait at least another couple of hours before he could try to barge into her dorm. He knew that they had another class together first thing, so maybe he could catch her outside the classroom before she went in.
He took his time with the rest of his morning preparation, brushing his teeth and throwing on a white T-shirt. He would have loved to wear something nicer, but he was completely out of clean clothes, and this was the last shirt that didn't smell like he'd worked out in it. So what? He wasn’t trying to impress her, right? Honi scoffed at the thought. Adi wasn't really his type at all—too small, too skinny, too pale. The reason why he wanted to rush to her side was because she needed help.
And yet—his wolf had felt an attraction to her. Honi knew not to ignore his spirit animal's intuition. Ho’neo had felt safe with Adi. Honi shook his head. He didn't want to examine this thought any closer. He quickly scanned the room for the wolf, but he was wherever spirit animals went to when they didn’t want to hang. Honi scoffed. Trust the wolf to disappear when Honi needed a distraction. He was too wired to stay in his room, yet a quick glance at his alarm clock confirmed that it was too early to talk to Adi.
So he walked. Campus security was used to him stretching his legs at weird times of the night. When he’d first gotten here, he’d been stopped a few times, but pretty soon everybody had gotten used to him walking around the large green space between the dorm buildings or even the park not far away. The place was so different at night. The daily chatter and clamor of students was replaced by different sounds, the barking of foxes, the melodic rasp of cicadas later in the year. Sometimes he felt like he was the only person alive on the planet. Tonight though, he wasn’t alone.
In fact, there were quite a few kids. Some swaying suspiciously after a late party, some working late shifts and getting home for a few hours’ sleep before late-morning lectures. And every single one had a spirit animal on their shoulder or walking with them. No amount of squinting or concentrating made them disappear. Honi hadn't experienced such a lack of control over his ability since he was a kid. Another question that needed to be answered. Right after why Adi had appeared in his dreams.
It was time to go back. Honi walked faster, feeling the night’s icy chill biting through his jeans. He cursed himself for forgetting his gloves and stuck his hands deep into his pockets. A loose thread kept getting stuck under his fingernail and he pulled at it with a scowl. His shoulders were hunched and he doubted the wisdom of stomping through the night instead of reading some books in his light-filled heated room.
It was pitch dark in the park, streetlights and traffic blocked by large trees and bushes. His imagination conjured up ominous noises and movements in the blackness that weren’t there. A cold breeze blowing down his neck—because he’d been too stupid to remember a scarf as well as his gloves—added to his growing unease.
Just as he decided to screw his dignity and break into a jog, the night became less impenetrable. Minute by minute, the pale light grew until the lifting fog revealed rocks and trees instead of distorted and hunched-over trolls. By the time he left the park and reentered college grounds, the sun was climbing over the city’s high-rises. As he stared, the light suddenly exploded above the last edge of buildings and blinded him with its intensity.
He blinked his eyes closed and smiled as the light broke through the night’s chill and warmed his skin. As long as the sun rose every morning, everybody living under it would get their do-over, John always said. Until they didn’t, a dark voice inside of Honi whispered. He shook his head at himself. Damn, he was negative this morning. John would kick him with that attitude. The thought made him smile. It had been a long time since John could best him physically. Not that that stopped him verbally abusing him if he felt like it.
Now he was chuckling to himself like a weirdo. Maybe he could call the shaman before class. John always rose early. Checking his phone, Honi blinked. Damn, he needed to get back, grab a bite to eat and get his books ready for class. He had lost track of time while talking to himself. A few minutes later, he was leaving the dorm when his cell phone rang. A quick glance confirmed that John had beaten him to it.
“What's up?" Honi asked casually as he crossed the sq
uare between the dorm buildings.
"Honi, are you okay?" The young man frowned.
"Yes?" he slowly replied, waiting for further explanation. John was silent for a moment.
"Something's happening in the spirit world. The spirits are agitated, and some of the younger kids have had really bad dreams..." Again he hesitated. Honi frowned. It was rare that the shaman was at a loss for words, and he seemed even more intense than usual.
"I had some worrying visions myself last night. The spirit world is restless," John finally continued.
Honi was thinking for a moment. Then he said, “I went spirit-walking last night. It didn’t go well.”
His mentor stayed silent, waiting for the young man to continue. Honi imagined John sitting in his kitchen with the old-fashioned pea-green phone connected to the wall with the spiral cord that always entangled itself. His wife Judy had threatened to cut the damn thing with her kitchen scissors if John didn’t upgrade it. Such a rush of bitter-sweet homesickness hit Honi that he needed to close his eyes for a moment and compose himself.
“I was there as the wolf.” No need to clarify where “there” was. “This girl I told you about? Adi? She was there too. We…" Again he hesitated. “We played. It was peaceful and she wasn’t afraid of me.”
Honi swallowed hard as the memories flooded his mind. “I don’t know what changed, but suddenly… suddenly we were attacked… she was attacked by these things, they looked like birds…”
Honi’s voice shook as he recalled the shock he’d felt when he had seen the misshapen creature holding Adi’s eyeball in its beak. Even though he knew it wasn’t real, her scream had torn through him, and even now, he felt like throwing up.
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