Everything was conspiring against her today. Even if she hadn’t been awake for a few days, this stupid class would put her to sleep! Between Diepger’s monologue, the bad air, and the heat building up from having the windows closed and the lovely sunny day outside, she didn’t stand a chance!
And now her skin started to crawl again. Her shoulders twitched, trying to alleviate the irritation by rubbing against the fabric of her shirt. At least it helped keep her awake for a few moments. This was really uncomfortable, she thought and contorted herself to reach a particularly annoying spot right between her shoulder blades. Adi growled as she rubbed hard. The boy next to her scooted over a little bit, further away from her. Thankfully the feeling of ants crawling under her skin went away as quickly as it had appeared.
Instead the sluggishness came back. Adi closed her burning eyes for a few blessed seconds. The next thing she became aware of was her limbs jerking. She briefly had a feeling of falling down a step, her leg kicking and her arms flying up to catch herself. The sound of giggling made her look up, and with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she saw all eyes on her. She must have nodded off again, only this time longer.
Diepger regarded her with a sneer, deep satisfaction in his eyes, as if she had confirmed something he already knew. He shook his head slightly but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Adi knew that this would get back to Mrs. Worthington yet again. It was too much. Everywhere she went, she was reminded of the inexplicable hatred towards her from her remaining family members. No matter how much she tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter, it did. It really did. It hurt like a bitch, being so alone in the world and knowing that there were people out there just waiting for her to trip up.
Adi grabbed her pens and paper and stuffed them back into her bag. Spirit animals were peeking out from behind shoulders and legs, staring at her. Without a word of apology, she got up and walked out of the classroom, ignoring the whispers and Diepger’s irritated huff. She avoided looking at Honi. She couldn’t handle the disappointment or maybe even disgust that she knew would be on his face. Adi couldn’t leave the building fast enough. Once outside, she walked faster and faster, as if trying to outrun her troubles.
She wasn’t aware of anybody following her until a hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. A shocked gasp escaped her, and she was about to scream at her attacker when she recognized Honi’s face. A mixture of anger and worry was clearly displayed in his expression, and it stopped her dead in her tracks.
“Dammit, I just want to talk to you! Can you please stop for a moment?”
Adi nodded, finding herself helpless against the sudden urge to be held by him. For a moment she wanted to believe that he could make everything better. Then she remembered her resolution to deal with her feelings for the young man after the exams. That didn’t mean that she didn’t feel a twinge of regret for the distance Honi kept between them.
The corner of her mouth lifted involuntarily in a weak smile as she said, “Sure, what’s up?”
“You tell me. What’s going on with you? You look terrible!”
“Thanks,” Adi replied dryly. “Is that how you talk to all the girls?”
Honi frowned at her, an unhappy crease appearing on his forehead. Adi felt guilty for putting that look on his face. She just had to get through the next two days, and then she could tell him everything.
“Fine,” she sighed. “I found a way to deal with the visions by myself, at least until after the exams. Trust me, I’m fine.” Honi raised his eyebrows skeptically. Adi rolled her eyes in response.
“I’m not saying it’s easy, but I’m handling it for the moment. Look, if you insist, you can try to help me again after exams, but until then, please trust me.”
“I do trust you.” Honi stepped a little closer. “But I worry about you. You got hurt last time.” He hesitated, then closed the distance between them. He pulled her against him into a tight hug and whispered in her ear, “I really like you. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you. Please tell me what’s going on.”
Adi shivered when his lips touched her earlobe and his warm breath brushed against her skin. Involuntarily, she sagged against his strong chest for just a moment before pulling back. Her stomach swooped when she looked into his eyes and detected nothing but concern and affection.
She hadn’t known until now how strong his feelings were for her, and with a jolt she realized she felt the same. Talk about bad timing. She didn’t want to see the disappointment in his face when she told him what she’d done, that she had jeopardized her academic future and maybe her entire life by doing illegal drug deals and taking pills containing God knew what. Too late for regrets—it was done, and she couldn’t stop now. As long as no one ever found out, she’d be fine.
After the exam, after the exam. The mantra went around and around in her head. Out loud she said, “I’ll tell you in a few days. Right now I need to go and study.”
She pushed against his arms, which still held her tightly until Honi let go. She stepped back and smiled at him. He opened his mouth to say something but she rose up on her toes and softly pressed her lips against his. Before he could do much more than inhale in surprise, she turned around and walked away. She glanced at him over her shoulder and waved. That was the last thing she remembered for a while.
The first thing that hit her was the smell. Gasoline, brake dust, motor oil. Sweat, fresh like after a run and stale like old gym shirts. A rumbling that traveled through the seat to her stomach. With every second, Adi’s awareness expanded, rising like a bubble drifting to the surface, until she knew where she was. The bus she sat on wasn’t going fast, so at least she was still in the city.
Frequent stops indicated traffic lights, and when she looked outside the grimy window, shops and cafes floated by slowly. An insistent ringing in her ears distracted her, and she must’ve really looked out of it because no other passengers sat next to her, even though the bus was full. An older woman looked at her with deep suspicion. She was clearly uncomfortable standing in the heat, a drop of sweat clinging to her overheated cheek.
Adi stood up and pushed through the mass of people towards the exit. When the doors opened, she inhaled with a huge sense of relief and savored the fresh air that cooled her burning skin deliciously. She stepped out of the bus, and an overwhelming sense of vertigo hit her just for a moment. Her hand shot out, balancing her body, before she lost the fight against gravity.
When the spinning sensation receded, she let go of the lamppost she’d been holding on to and tried to understand what she was doing here. She had only spoken to Honi a few seconds ago, so what was she doing downtown? She pulled out her phone to check the time and her eyes widened when she realized that she’d last seen him over an hour ago. She had obviously lost a huge chunk of time. A whole hour of her memory, gone!
Adi walked on unsteady legs towards the next bench and sat down. She put her head into her hands and fought back a rising panic attack. She felt completely vulnerable. Anything could have happened in that missing hour. What if she had walked into traffic? Or fallen down a flight of stairs? If the only thing that had happened was her getting onto a bus, she’d gotten off lightly. She could have died and not even noticed it! An involuntary sound escaped her and Adi quickly covered her mouth with her hand.
She needed to add “losing chunks of time” to the ever-growing list of side effects of the drug that Nathan had assured her was perfectly harmless. She didn’t know who was more stupid, Nathan for selling drugs or Adi for popping them. Two days, two more days, that was all she had to get through. Right now she needed to get home, to a place of safety, keep her head down, study and pass her exams. That was all that mattered.
Thankfully number 212 arrived within a few minutes on the other side of the street and Adi jumped straight on. She felt better, as if she hadn’t wandered the streets for an hour but actually gotten some rest. So when all hell broke loose, it came as a little bit of a surprise.
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She had barely gotten off at her stop when it started. A hissing was the only warning she got, and then searing pain lanced through the back of her neck. With a yelp, Adi jumped and slapped at whatever was hurting her. Her fingers connected with warm fur. She grabbed whatever it was, and claws tore out of her skin as she flung a small tabby through the air. The animal landed gracefully on its paws before tensing to launch itself at Adi again. Adi didn’t wait around—she ran.
Her feet pounded the pavement, her panting providing the rhythm for her panic. Something was different. She had gotten used to their occasional aggressive posturing throughout the week, but generally, the spirit animals had left her alone. Most of her time had been spent inside the library or her room, so her contact with people had been minimized for days. Today was the first time since she’d met Nathan for their back alley dealing that she’d been out and about. That was, what, four days ago already?
A streak of black made her flinch and she turned her head away reflexively. Sharp nails scratched over the side of her head. Adi cried out, and when she touched her hair, it was sticky with blood. A lemur glared at her and readied itself for another attempt. Adi looked around as more creatures assembled behind her. A cacophony of animal noises grew louder and louder and spurred her on to run faster. She was moving at a full sprint now. Her lungs were burning, but a glance over her shoulder told her that she couldn’t afford to stop. The situation was escalating.
This had to be what a dissociative episode felt like. Her eyes told her that there were a large number of beasts chasing her, but her brain refused to take it in. This wasn’t happening, surely? How had she ended up running for her life through streets full of onlookers who had no idea why the crazy girl was looking behind her in panic?
The burning pain of the scalp wound cut through her confusion as the snarling, barking and howling behind her grew closer. It was scary enough that she could suffer injuries in her dreams, but now she was being chased by nightmarish creatures that were out to kill her. So far her pursuers had been small, but now larger predators joined in. Adi didn’t stand a chance out in the open. If she wanted to survive, she needed shelter.
The college campus was coming up, and Adi sprinted across the large parking lot. She couldn’t catch her breath, her legs burning. When she looked over her shoulder again, she moaned in terror. A Bengal tiger, striped in white, orange, and black, gained on her with graceful leaps. It was so close that Adi could see its amber eyes fixed on its prey. Another few seconds and the cat would take her down.
Soft heavy footpads hit the asphalt right behind her. A waft of foul-smelling air foreshadowed her doom. An animal that size would rip off her arm with one swipe of its gigantic paw or crush her head inside its huge maw. They would find her body torn to pieces, and only Honi would know what had happened. Adi was crying now, tears of fear and anger streaming down her face. She didn’t want to die like this!
Growling filled her ears, and the rhythmic pounding behind her stopped. Somehow she knew that the tiger was midair and she dived for the only cover she could see. As she flung herself onto the dirty abrasive surface of the parking lot and slid underneath an old-fashioned Chevy, she felt more than heard the impact of an enormous body hitting metal and glass.
Adi cowered underneath her precarious cover and brought her hands up to her ears. A deep, sonorous sound, a roar that made her hair stand up in primeval fear, warned her that her pursuer hadn’t given up yet. The Chevy started rocking to and fro, the heavy car no match for the power and strength of a fully grown tiger. More predators wanted to join in the fun, yipping and growling. She had run out of time, and if she wanted to survive, she needed to move. Thanking the stars for her small build, Adi rolled out from underneath the car and put on one last desperate burst of speed towards the academic building right in front of her.
Just as she reached the door and grabbed the handle, a tearing pain nearly brought her to her knees. She tried to pull her leg away but couldn’t move. A hyena was holding on to her calf, daggerlike teeth sunk deep into the muscle, while a second predator launched towards her unprotected belly. Adi managed to twist her body out of the way, and the frantic animal, instead of eviscerating her, sank its teeth into the side of her hip.
The pain was unlike anything she had ever experienced. She could feel the two predators tearing her flesh. Adi screamed in terror and agony, and with a strength brought on by desperation, she dislodged the beast from her side. While the hyena readied itself for a second attack, Adi pushed her thumbs into the eyes of the animal still tearing chunks out of her leg. The creature let go and whined in pain before trying to grab on again. It had fallen back just a step, but that gave her enough breathing space to open the door, fall through it, and push it shut. A split second after the lock snapped closed, the door shuddered with the double impact of two predators that had tasted blood and were now desperate to finish the job.
Holding the bite on her hip, which had started to burn like fire, Adi put her weight on her good leg and attempted to limp down the long hallway. She was losing blood at an alarming rate. Her hands were slick with it, and looking down, she saw a puddle of crimson stickiness that grew quickly. She felt light-headed and suddenly found herself on her knees without remembering how she’d gotten there. Why had she not brought a coat? It might be spring, but she felt very cold. Why didn’t they heat those buildings properly, she thought before curling up into a ball. Where a moment ago there had been blinding sunlight, she now had the impression that somebody was turning off the light.
With a strange sense of detachment, she realized she was dying. As blackness crept into her vision, a warm hand lifted her chin. She tried to say something, call for help, move her lips, anything. Her eyes closed of their own accord, and in the last moments before everything around her disappeared, she was bathed in a comforting scent of wood and ozone.
Honi packed up his books. Thankfully this was the last of his required Anthro Method seminars before finals. The air in the small room with its flaking beige walls and brown nylon carpet smelled stale, like egg sandwiches. No wonder, since seven students and their professor had been cooped up in here for the last two hours.
He shouldn’t complain. Mr. Baker had gone well above and beyond his duty in inviting them to a final Q and A session in his office, but after going through reams of dry theory text, Honi felt mentally drained. His stomach rumbled, reminding him that he skipped lunch after his encounter with Adi. There were eggs, Canadian bacon and a lonely red pepper in his fridge—good enough for dinner. He had so much work left to do today, yet he couldn’t get Adi out of his mind.
He shook his head. Talking to the girl had not calmed his fears at all. If anything, it had made them worse. Her pleas to trust her had sounded desperate rather than reassuring. When she’d walked away, he’d had to step down hard on his urge to follow her and make her tell him what was going on. Close up, she had looked even more like she was high. She’d seemed slowed down somehow, and her eyes were dazed. Something was off. He knew her well enough by now to know that putting pressure on her would only make her dig in her heels. So he decided to wait for another opportunity to get closer to her.
A scream ripped him out of his thoughts. So close to finals, lectures were winding down, and even though it was still bright outside, most students had left. Honi got up, hoping that somebody was playing a prank in the hallway. But when he walked towards the noise, what he saw made him break into a run.
Two spirit animals threw themselves against the building door. He could hear their snarls and recognized the doglike creatures. A small body, curled into itself, was lying in a slowly spreading puddle of blood. Honi assumed it was a girl, and he looked quickly around to see who had attacked her. There was nobody else. He frowned in confusion, then walked quickly towards the girl. Spirit animals couldn’t exist by themselves—they were tied to their hosts. Weren’t they?
The hyenas had blood on their muzzles. Shit. If those beasts had attac
ked the girl, then that motionless body in front of him had to be Adi. Nobody else could see them, never mind be hurt by them.
“Oh my God,” he whispered as he knelt down next to her. He quickly felt her wrist and heaved a sigh of relief when he felt her heartbeat. Her pulse was thready and thin, but she was alive. The question was for how long. He scanned her body and swallowed hard when he saw her wounds. Ho’neo whined and pushed his nose against her temple.
That boy years ago had been torn apart by wild animals, John had said. The same thing had now happened to Adi. Her leg was mangled, still bleeding profusely. He needed to act quickly and stop the bleeding while he waited for an ambulance. Honi swallowed hard, then took a deep breath. He could freak out later—right now Adi needed him.
Honi pulled out his phone and called 911. He was proud that his voice barely shook when he explained that his friend had been attacked by dogs. As he knelt on the scuffed linoleum floor, Adi moaned weakly. Her hand twitched and Honi grabbed it. He tried to think without losing himself to a blind panic.
A quick look around told him that he was completely alone. Nobody else could help him right now. Adi was losing so much blood, the puddle beneath her was still growing. If he waited for the ambulance, it would be too late. For a moment he felt dizzy with loss and grief before he clenched his eyes tight. She depended on him, she was still alive, there was still time.
Honi didn’t hesitate any longer. He pulled off his shirt and quickly tore it into strips. Then he examined her leg. Blood had soaked into her jeans and there was no way he could get the fabric off. His priority was to stop the bleeding. The injury was severe, still oozing blood, with bone showing white and jagged through the ruined flesh. Honi moved to the other side of her body to gain better leverage. The wolf jumped back a little, not wanting to leave Adi’s side. Honi wrapped the fabric above Adi’s knee and pulled as hard as he could.
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