Adi smiled. At least he didn’t call the nurse to have her taken away. With a great sigh, she felt a huge burden drop off her. For such a long time, she had denied her ability to see spirit animals, had been told that it was a mental illness, had to hide her true self. Honi’s father knew that spirit-walking was real. Now all she had to do was convince him that she also had the gift.
Over the next half an hour, she told him everything. He listened carefully, without interrupting, up to the point where she woke up. She had no idea what had happened to Honi after the spirit animals had attacked her at school. Now it was Jim’s turn to fill her in. His voice choked when he described breaking down Honi’s door, finding him unconscious and nearly losing him when the doctors weren’t sure if he would survive the night.
Adi listened with wide eyes. The last details of her journey to the spirit world came back to her. She remembered her anger when she’d realized that Honi might be gravely ill. That the only reason he could join her for such an extended time was that he was knocked out in some way, maybe even in a coma. She didn’t know at the time that she had been right. Honi was in a coma, and she was the reason why he had nearly died.
When Jim had finished, they sat silently next to each other, both watching the man they loved. Adi stole glances at Honi’s father every so often. His drooping shoulders and hanging head demonstrated his sadness and worry. Adi felt so guilty, she didn’t think she had the right to say anything or ask any more about Honi’s condition. After another few minutes, she pushed herself up off the chair, groaning a little.
Jim’s head rose. “I’m sorry, I never asked what you’re in for.”
Adi smiled a little. It was still hard for her to believe all that had happened to her. The truth would probably be the best option with Honi’s father. He didn’t look like he had a lot of tolerance for lies or excuses.
“I was attacked by spirit animals. Hyenas, to be precise. Your son saved my life in more ways than one.” She looked again at Honi’s still face and wished she had the right to touch him, hold his hand in front of his father. Honi was here because of her, and therefore she had no rights. None at all. Without her, he wouldn’t be at death’s door. She mumbled her good-bye to his father and slowly walked towards the door. Jim stood up and gently took her arm.
“Adi, wait. Nobody has ever been able to make Honi do something he didn’t want to do. If he put his life on the line for you, he did it because he wanted to. Because he loves you. Please come back whenever you want to. I’m sure he can hear it when you talk to him. I’ll let the nurses know that you have permission to visit anytime you want to.”
Adi met his eyes, and the warmth in them hit her hard. She tried in vain to hold in her sobs, and before she knew it, Jim held her in a tight embrace while she cried on his shoulder. It felt like a long time but was probably only a few minutes. The relief of not being blamed by Honi’s father, of being told that he loved her, was immense. When her eyes were finally drying and her sniffles stopped, she felt lighter than she had for a long time.
Sitting next to Jim Fisher, she looked at his son and suddenly knew that he would make it. There was no other option. He would wake up and smile at her, and together, they would finish college. There was still a long road to recovery, but she held on to the spark of hope that they would pull through, together.
Jim Fisher helped Adi back to her bed, tucked her in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Adi was exhausted at this stage. She barely managed to eat the crap that passed for dinner, and slipped into a dream state within minutes of her head hitting the pillow.
When she opened her eyes, she was back in amongst the high grasses. Everything seemed the same—bright blue sky, rolling hills, gentle warm breeze. Something was different though. She didn’t feel any negative emotions, no apprehension, no worry, no fear. The low-level terror, that had been a constant companion in the spirit world, was gone. There were birds, little critters scuttling on the ground, but no menace, no dread, no negative feelings at all. Adi sat up and looked around.
“Fancy seeing you here,” a soft voice said behind her. Adi quickly turned into the direction of the speaker. Honi stood large as life, a smile on his handsome face.
“Honi!” Adi squealed like a little girl and jumped up. With another high-pitched exclamation, she flung herself into his arms. Their mouths connected like magnets, and everything disappeared around her. He tasted so good, of sunlight and wood and ozone. She couldn’t get enough of it. For a long time, their lips and tongues explored each other. Every so often, Adi pulled away, looked at Honi with beaming eyes, and then crushed her lips against his again.
Eventually Honi pulled away. “Hey sweetheart, happy to see me?” he asked with a wink.
“You gotta ask? I met your father and he’s really nice. And Diepger is in big trouble, and so is my grandmother and—”
Honi interrupted Adi by pulling her tighter against his chest. “I’m glad you get along with my father. The other stuff isn’t important.”
“What’s important then?” Adi had to know.
Honi smiled broadly. “What’s important is that I love you. I love you so much. I may not make it back, but I’ll always love you.”
Adi frowned. “Don’t say that. Of course you’ll make it back. Your father promised me that you’d pull through.”
Honi shrugged. “I’m not worried. Even if I pass on, I know now that I’ll stay here and wait for you. And after you’ve led a rich and beautiful life with lots of children and grandchildren, you’ll join me and we’ll be together.”
Adi’s eyes were filling with tears again. “That’s not an option. I don’t want children and grandchildren unless they’re yours. You’ve gotta wake up, Honi!”
Honi kissed her quickly and thoroughly. She moaned in protest, then shut up and enjoyed his hands running up and down her back. “I’ll do my best, love.”
He kissed her again desperately and pushed his hands under her shirt to touch her bare skin. She shivered and tried to get closer to him. “Oh—uh,” she suddenly heard him say. Adi looked down and stared at fog rising from the ground, beginning to envelop them both.
“Remember, whatever happens, I’ll wait for you.” Adi looked up in alarm. Honi’s face drifted away, his cherry-black eyes burning into hers. She couldn’t feel him touch her anymore, and between one blink of an eye to the next, he was gone.
Adi woke up to another cheerful “Buenos días!”. Just like the day before, the smiling rotund Mexican lady placed her breakfast tray next to the bed. Adi made good use of her school Spanish and exchanged a few pleasantries with Consuela. She felt groggy and still tired. Then she remembered that she might be released today.
Honi’s dad had been lovely yesterday, and she was happy that his family seemed okay with them being together. Maybe today he might respond better. She so badly wanted him to open his eyes and look at her with recognition. Adi nibbled on some dry toast while trying to process her dream. Was it a dream, or had she walked in the spirit world using her gift?
She wished Honi were there to talk her through it. He was the expert, she was an untrained beginner. Slowly his words came back to her. They made her feel warm all over while at the same time they scared her. She didn’t want to imagine a world without him. She didn’t want to remember him, time washing out his memory like an old Polaroid, until she was gray and old and dead.
Please, let today be the day he wakes up! Adi put her monstrous gray morning robe on, wincing all the way. Her leg was better, but there was still a lot of pain. Never mind, she needed to see him. Resolutely, she pushed off the bed and made the slow, torturous way to Honi’s room.
Like the day before, she sat on the chair next to his unconscious body. No change, as far as she could see. Remembering Jim’s permission, she felt more at ease, less like an intruder in Honi’s room. She picked up his hand and pressed it against her cheek. She stared at him, willing him to open his eyes, to look at her and tell her it would be okay. His constant o
ptimism had been a source of irritation early on, but now she didn’t know how she would get through the next few days, or even weeks, without his support.
She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of his warm hand against her skin, the hissing of oxygen supplementing his breathing, the bleeping of the machines that measured his vitals. Where was he? Was he still fighting monsters in the spirit world? Or had her victory over the queen freed him? Why hadn’t he come back to her? Had the poison he had ingested done too much damage for him to ever return?
The physical pain that thought caused her made her hold on to his hand tighter. She squeezed her eyes together, and her whole face contorted in an effort not to scream.
Then his fingers twitched. At first she didn’t notice because she was so deep in her own anguish. Then they moved again, and this time, she lifted her head and stared at his face. She barely dared hope that it wasn’t her imagination, but as she watched, his eyelids trembled.
The heart-rate monitor sped up, and within seconds, Adi heard steps move quickly towards the little room. Nurse Holly rushed in, and before Adi could tell her about Honi showing signs of movement, he opened his eyes for a second. Holly took his vitals and Adi moved back to give her space.
After a few more seconds, Holly turned around and said brightly, “You can breathe, you know.” Adi let out a huge heave of air, and her head swam for just a moment. Holly still grinned at her and her expression was joyful.
“I have to confirm with the doctor, but it seems like he’s beginning to come out of the coma. That’s really good news.” She pointed at the chair. “Sit down until I come back with the doctor. Hold his hand and let us know if there’s any change.”
Adi sat back down and clutched Honi’s hand. She eagerly searched his face for further signs of waking up, but although his eyelids twitched a little, he didn’t open them again. Adi had heard that people in a coma could hear visitors, so she talked to him. Silly little things, remember whens, how she wanted him back with her. There was no response for a long time.
“Please Honi, I know you’re ready to wake up. Come back to me, I love you.” If she sounded desperate, it was because she was desperate. Then, weak as a kitten, his fingers curled around hers and squeezed lightly. Her eyes swam with tears, and when she looked up, she saw a large wolf standing next to the bed. They were back, the boy and his spirit animal.
The doctor confirmed what she already knew, that he was scoring higher and higher on the coma recovery scale, and that he would wake up soon. A huge cloud lifted off her mind. Diepger was gone, she would retake her exams, Mrs. Worthington had lost her power over her. Yet all of it paled in comparison to having Honi back. Their conversations in the spirit world had been a good start, but in the real world, he would recover fully, and then they could explore what they were to each other.
They were spirit-walkers, and although Honi had a headstart, she would catch up. The future looked a lot brighter than it had a few weeks ago, and she was ready to take on new challenges with this beautiful man by her side. Some hours later, Adi still sat by his bedside, smiling happily as she imagined their life together, and when she looked up, Honi’s black eyes were smiling back at her.
THE END
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Spirit Elfen
Book Two
1
Adi stared at the thick envelope that had been shoved into her dorm mailbox. She tugged on it lightly, but it had gotten stuck when the postman had forced it into the metal box. Oh boy, she had a suspicion what it might be. Her stomach dropped as she tugged harder. Damn it, how hard did that guy jam the letter in there! Adi used both hands and pulled as hard as she could.
The paper resisted for another moment, then gave with a protesting tear. Adi huffed, looking at the two pieces of envelope in her hand. At least only the outside was damaged. She freed a stiff, expensive-looking piece of paper from the wreckage. The intricate seal at the top, depicting St. Peter sitting on a throne in front of an impressive Gothic cathedral, made her pulse quicken. She knew what this was!
Adi quickly skimmed past the formal German greeting to get to the important bits. “We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Master of Arts program at Ruprecht-Karls-Universität Heidelberg. Please be advised that there will be an orientation event for foreign students from 3–5 October.”
Adi clapped her hand in front of her mouth to hold in a high-pitched squeal. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! She stared at the letter with wide eyes, giddy with excitement. The adrenaline rush made it impossible to stand still, and her whole body buzzed and vibrated. Another few moments of white noise, and reality washed over her like cold water.
Honi. Her eyebrows drew together. For a second, she’d forgotten all about him. When they’d returned from the spirit world, their relationship had grown in leaps and bounds. But lately, something had changed. For the last few months, they’d barely seen each other. Sure, they still had one class together, and Honi trained Adi once a week, but outside of those few hours, they went their separate ways.
In fact, she hadn’t seen him in days. Every time she’d texted him, she’d received curt, one-syllable responses. Resentment grew cold in her stomach whenever his name flashed on her screen. She was getting sick of his unresponsiveness.
Maybe that was the real reason Adi hadn’t shared her plans with Honi. She’d applied for the master’s program before she’d met him last year. The German university was in huge demand due to its extensive international program, and requests had to be submitted more than a year in advance. She’d applied on a whim and forgotten all about it. A couple of months ago, the acceptance letter would have thrown her into a serious tailspin. They’d been so in love and spent every minute together.
Now her resentment had grown to the point where taking a break from each other might not be such a bad thing. She loved him, but she hated being ignored. It felt as if something was pulling him away from her. Something he wasn’t prepared to share. A flash of irritation distorted her face before she took a deep breath and sighed.
Anger didn’t help. She needed to find him, talk to him and then make a decision. The leaden weight in her midriff popped when she reread the letter. Wow, Heidelberg. She had spent a few hours researching the place before applying. Oldest university in Germany, dating back to the twelfth century. Hotbed of student revolution in the 1970s. Young people from all nationalities studying and playing in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
Adi’s excitement returned, and she couldn’t help herself. She jumped up and down, pressing the piece of paper against her chest. If anybody saw her, so what! If she couldn’t express the joy bubbling inside of her, she’d explode. Better to release the pressure with a high-pitched squeal after all!
Back in her dorm room, Adi held the phone in her hand. She needed to make this call sooner rather than later. The letter lay next to her on the bed, promising her new experiences, but also bringing up old memories from her childhood growing up in Germany.
Adi’s eyes moved from item to item in the small room that had been her home for the last nine months. Everywhere she looked, there were indicators of how deeply Honi had dug himself into her life. The blanket she sat on, bought at a powwow Honi had attended last fall. Red with ocher diamond shapes, a black dragonfly woven in its center. Its colorful threads cheered Adi up every time she looked at it. The carved image of a wolf, representing Honi’s spirit animal, Ho’neo. The likeness was uncanny. She suspected that it had been carved by another spirit walker who’d been able to see Honi’s wolf. The artist had certainly caught the intelligence in the creature’s expressive eyes.
Her favorite thing stood on her bedside cabinet. Honi and Adi had visited Chicago last year, and Honi had taken a selfie on Navy Pier with the city skyline in the background. Adi reached for the silver-plated frame. They both looked so happy, Honi’s arm around her shoulder. His straight black hair reflect
ing the sun, his skin several shades darker than usual. Adi’s face was glistening and red from the heat, yet her joy was evident in her smile. What a difference a year made.
Adi swallowed hard, pushing down her sadness. She never doubted that Honi had loved her, still loved her. Yet something was different. Forcing Honi to sit down and talk this through was way overdue. He had changed, and now she’d been given a way out, a chance to take a break. Mind made up, she hit speed-dial and waited for her boyfriend to pick up the phone.
2
How did he always end up in the same place? Tall grasses around him, a forest in the middle distance, blue sky with white fluffy clouds. Total cliché. Honi had been coming to the spirit world for over fifteen years, and every time he went into a trance or had a dream, he found himself in this exact same spot.
He lay on his back, staring up into the sun through his eyelashes. His hand rose instinctively, shielding his eyes. What was the point of this? Ever since the traumatic events when Adi had defeated the entity that ruled this realm, he’d avoided coming here. Shaman John had to remind him again and again that ignoring the spirit creatures would have terrible consequences in the long run.
Honi knew that. He just didn’t care anymore. He had returned twice since last year, and both times, it had been boring. Where before, he’d encountered lots of different creatures, his last visits had been entirely uneventful. He shouldn’t have bothered, he thought. The problem was that while he could consciously decide to enter the spirit world, he couldn’t leave when he wanted. He had to wait until either he woke up, or something else pulled him back into his own reality.
Something tugged on his mind, like the insistent buzzing of a fly. At first he ignored it, but it grew increasingly uncomfortable. A particularly sharp wrench made him turn his head. Get up, get up! The words reverberated through his brain as a rough, cold tongue licked him from collarbone to ear.
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