Nina’s voice was solicitous, but her eyes were hard black flints. There was a mockery in her tone that Adi only recognized because she was expecting it. Anger coursed through her, and she threw off Nina’s hand.
“Keep your hands off me,” she hissed.
Nina stepped back, raising her hands with a hurt expression. Adi had to give it to her—she was a good actress. She thought feverishly about how best to approach this. Something was wrong with Nina. Something beyond trying to snare Honi back. The spirit animals she’d seen since arriving had all acted out of character. And Nina’s was by far the worst.
Adi said slowly, “You’re right, I’m exhausted and a little homesick. You’re being nice to me, and I snapped at you. I’m sorry.”
Adi might have missed it if she hadn’t looked out for it, but Nina’s eyes flashed triumphantly. As if she was happy to have fooled Adi. As if, Adi thought defiantly. She had her number. Time to dig for some information.
“Can I ask you a question?”
When Nina nodded, Adi continued, “What do you know about spirit walkers?”
Nina laughed. “I know it’s a story told to kids to make them behave.”
“So you don’t believe it?”
“No. Should I?” Nina said, her black eyes boring into Adi’s. She didn’t blink once, and a shiver ran down Adi’s back. She was onto something.
“Well, Honi told me he was a spirit walker.”
“Oh yeah? And the Wasi’chu believes all he says?”
“The Wasi-what?”
Nina’s eyes stayed hard as she grinned. “Wasi’chu. That’s what we call outsiders to our community.”
Adi hadn’t expected to be welcomed like a long-lost family member, but being called an outsider hurt. She didn’t belong. Not even as Honi’s girlfriend. It wasn’t a new feeling for her, but being told so bluntly reminded her of all the times when she’d tried to fit in.
“Right. So you think he was joking around, telling me stories of spirit animals and his spirit quest?”
“He told you that? That’s only for the people closest to him,” Nina shouted. Adi stepped back, surprised at her vehemence. Gotcha. Just like that, Adi had put her own claim on Honi. Let’s see how you deal with that, bitch.
Nina visibly fought to control her temper. Adi’s eyes flew to her shoulder where the spinning spirit-animal shape had begun to separate. There were several creatures of different sizes, but all equally ugly. Adi watched in morbid fascination as the faces of a tiny gibbon, a kitten, and several large reptiles mirrored the fury on Nina’s expression.
When Nina turned her head back towards Adi, the animals did the same. When the girl opened her mouth, so did the creatures. And when Nina spoke, her voice was interlaced with subsonic vibrations that Adi felt in her throat and head, but couldn’t hear.
“I will only tell you once. You are not welcome here, Adi. You have no place here. Honi belongs to the tribe, Wasi’chu. You need to leave while you still can.”
There was no direct threat in her voice. She didn’t tell Adi she would die if she stayed here. But Adi felt the warning as acutely as if somebody had put a knife to her throat. The gauntlet had been thrown down. Adi would be happy to pick it up and strangle the bitch with it.
14
Nina stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the dishes behind. Adi took a deep breath, picked up the sponge, and scraped food leftovers from a plate.
“Hey, sleepyhead. You look very domestic, doing the dishes.”
Honi’s warm voice caressed Adi’s addled mind like a soothing balm. She lifted her head and turned towards the tall man standing right behind her. Honi gently took the sponge from her fingers and set it aside. Then he lifted her chin with a crooked forefinger and bent over her.
His mouth on hers drove all thoughts of spirit animals out of her mind. They’d only been here… was it only two full days? But they’d had precious little time together. Honi, who’d never cared about what people thought when it came to putting his hands all over her, had barely touched her since they’d arrived.
God, she’d missed his tongue, his large hands on her shoulder blades, the way he pulled her into his body. They fit so perfectly together, despite the height difference. Adi lifted herself onto her toes to get that little bit closer. Honi groaned into her mouth as her hips brushed against the front of his jeans. His hand slipped to her butt and squeezed.
“You might want to save this for another time, unless you want to give your mother and me a show,” a deep voice grunted from the door.
Honi dropped Adi as if she were on fire. She slipped, not expecting his reaction. In her effort to catch herself, she missed the edge of the cabinet, and her arm splashed into the sink. Honi had stepped back and wasn’t quick enough to catch her.
Adi’s feet went out from under her, and she wrenched her shoulder in an effort to keep upright.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she shouted as pain shot through her entire arm. Her very wet arm. Then she went down, nearly sobbing with the effort to keep herself from falling onto her ass.
“You do not use this kind of language in my house, Adi.”
Adi’s head shot up. She knew she had to offer a ridiculous picture. On her butt, one arm clutched to her chest, a huge water stain spreading across the front of her top. She couldn’t bring herself to care while pain flared in her shoulder joint.
Honi’s mother stood in front of her, anger written across her face.
She dropped her voice and hissed, “I’m glad to see you up—finally—but I don’t expect to walk into my own kitchen and hear what I just heard. I made my view clear. You have separate bedrooms for a reason. Until you’re married, there will be no… no making out. I know you Europeans think you can behave however you want over here, but there won’t be foul language or lewd behavior under my roof.”
Adi’s mind was spinning. What the hell was going on? They kissed. So what? Honi had never mentioned his parents were religious people. She knew that Oklahoma was part of the Bible Belt, but for some reason, it had never occurred to her that this might be an issue with Honi’s family. She turned her head and glared at him, anger rising hot in her throat.
Honi stared at his mother, equally aghast. Adi’s brows furrowed as she watched him. He was as shocked as she was. So his mother’s behavior wasn’t normal to him, either? She needed to get out of here, to try to wrap her mind around what had just happened. She was too angry to deal with his parents right now. Another word from either his father or mother, and she’d explode.
With her good arm, she pulled herself to her feet, ignoring Honi’s offer of help. She slapped the sponge into his outstretched hand with a grunted, “You finish up here. I’m done.”
Then she walked out of the kitchen, not even looking at Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, and kept walking until she was well away from the house.
The sharp pain in her arm had dulled to a pounding beat in her shoulder joint. She moved the arm and groaned at the pain. It wasn’t dislocated, thank goodness. Much worse was the ache in her chest. Nothing had turned out the way she’d expected. Everybody—everybody—hated her. Honi had stayed quiet when his mother had laid into her.
Adi understood how important his family was to her boyfriend. She’d lost her parents before she’d turned eighteen, and she still missed them every day. But surely, he could have said something? Instead of letting her sit on her ass, humiliated, basically being called Eurotrash by his mother.
The wind had picked up, blowing a torn newspaper across Adi’s path. There was quite a bit of trash—empty cans sitting piled against corners, cigarette butts littering the sides of the road. The breeze smelled like snow. Fresh, exhilarating, yet desolate.
Adi’s thoughts drifted towards dangerous ground. Honi had proven himself to be a faithful friend and lover when Adi’d been abducted to Faerie. He’d followed her to Germany when he’d realized something was wrong. But the reason why Adi had left Oklahoma in the first place was her boyfriend’s inner conflict bet
ween his love for her and his loyalty to his family and tribe.
When they were both far away from Honi’s homeland and had needed each other for survival, there’d been no doubt in his feelings towards her. She’d allowed herself to be dragged to his tribal lands. The place where he’d grown up and where he’d been welcomed home like the prodigal son. Where did she fit in here? If she couldn’t convince people she had a place here, could they even make it as a couple? Sometimes love wasn’t enough.
The wind turned to ice on her damp cheeks. Adi angrily wiped the tears from her eyes. He hadn’t come after her. Not even to check whether she was okay. Didn’t that say everything she needed to know?
Then she remembered how he’d protected her with his body, his life. How he’d been prepared to die for her. No, she couldn’t doubt his love for her. Something was going on in Heota. Something that affected the spirit animals and influenced people’s behavior.
Belatedly, she remembered that she hadn’t seen Ho’neo recently, either. Because Honi was a spirit walker, the wolf had more autonomy than regular spirit creatures. If he hadn’t been around, she had to find out the reason.
Turning her back towards the brazing gusts that seemed to increase in strength minute by minute, Adi wrapped her arms around her shivering body and walked towards the house. She knew what she had to do and didn’t want to waste a single moment.
15
Honi stood still, his heart heavy. His mother’s uncharacteristic attack left him immobilized with shock. What had gotten into her? Foul language? Lewd behavior? His mom didn’t swear often, but when she lost it, she could hold her own with the worst language he’d ever witnessed.
And when had she ever cared about him kissing a girl in front of her? She’d walked in on Nina and him making out before. He’d had his shirt off, and Nina’s bra had been hanging off her shoulders. His mom had shaken her head, grabbed a blanket, and thrown it at them with a gruff, “For God’s sake, cover yourselves up.”
That night, after Nina had slunk off, beet-red in the face, and not wanting to look him in the eyes, Honi had overheard his dad laughing aloud as his wife had told him what she’d witnessed. The only fall-out from the experience had been a rehash of The Talk. He’d been so proud of his parents at the time. It hadn’t been unexpected since abstinence before marriage was very much a white people’s concept, but still. Faced with the reality of their son macking on his girlfriend, they’d reacted exactly as he’d hoped they would.
When his mom had laid into Adi just now, his girlfriend’s face had paled under the verbal onslaught. Honi swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to intervene, but the damage had been done. Adi pulled her pride around herself like an exoskeleton and walked out. Honi hesitated for a split-second before moving towards the front door. His mom’s sharp voice pulled him up.
“Don’t you dare follow her.”
He whirled around, his anger building like a head of steam inside a kettle.
“What?”
The woman who had loved him from the day he was conceived, who had stood up for him again and again, at school, against the council, against her husband at times, regarded him with cold eyes.
“Let her go. She doesn’t deserve you. You would be much better off with one of ours. Nina would give you beautiful children. She understands you better than that one ever could.”
Honi stared at her. She hadn’t just said that. He shook his head as he backed towards the exit, away from this woman who he didn’t recognize anymore. If he opened his mouth, he’d say something he couldn’t take back. So he didn’t. Instead, he tore open the front door and ran outside.
“Ouch!”
Honi flung his arms out and caught Con before the slight teenager could fall on his ass with the force of the impact.
“Man, you seem to be in a rush.”
Honi glanced left and right. Adi was gone. Shit.
“Have you seen Adi?” he asked impatiently. When Con shook his head, Honi took his elbow and marched him away from the bungalow towards the village.
“What’s going on?” Con asked eventually.
Honi stopped and turned to face him. He didn’t want to air his family’s dirty laundry in front of the teenager, but he was still too upset to guard his words as carefully as he might otherwise.
“Adi ran out after my mother shouted at her. It was weird. My mom doesn’t get upset over little things, but she lost it for some reason.”
Con tilted his head and listened carefully. “I bet she didn’t mean it.”
Honi laughed; a joyless sound even to his own ears. “It doesn’t matter if she meant it. She upset Adi for no good reason. That’s not okay.”
Con nodded. Then he continued, “You know, a lot of people around here have been acting strangely. You remember our schoolteacher, Miss Winnie?”
Honi remembered her. She’d moved to Heota from North Dakota and had been teaching the village kids for decades. She could be strict but was always reasonable.
“Yeah, what about her?”
“She’s supposed to retire end of the year. No one knows who’ll take her place because so many families have moved to Lawton. There might not be enough kids next year, and they’re talking about shutting the school down completely.”
Well, that would suck. But it’d probably make sense to have the few children left in Heota bussed to schools in the next town. It was just the way the village was going.
“So Miss Winnie slapped a kid the other day. Right across the face. For nothing. We were all there and saw it. And guess who she hit?”
Con’s face was lit up with excitement. “It was Mena.”
He paused, but Honi didn’t show the right amount of scandalized reaction. Con rolled his eyes before continuing.
“Mena? The chief’s grand-daughter?” Oh. Oh!
“I know, right?” Con’s expression was full of shocked glee. “The chief shouted at her. Miss Winnie was sent home crying. She told Roger’s mom that she couldn’t remember a thing afterwards.”
Con turned serious. “That’s the weird thing, though. She isn’t the only one in Heota. Roger’s mom says people are acting strange all over the village and then don’t remember. Some guy from Medicine Park walked out of the library with fifty books in plastic bags. He dumped them into his car, and nobody noticed.”
“So how did they know he did it if nobody noticed?”
“Because he turned around when he got home and brought them back. He says he’s got no memory of taking the books. He was visiting his aunt and got the shock of his life when he opened his trunk. He brought them all back and donated a hundred dollars. They decided not to press charges, Roger’s mom says.”
Honi had no idea who Roger was, but the story sounded strange, alright. His mother’s behavior was so out of character, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Eventually he gave up trying to concentrate on Con’s chatter. He put a hand on the teen’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly.
“You know what? I’ll go back and try to talk to my mom. You’re right—she probably didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah, I bet she didn’t.” As Honi walked away, Con called out, “Maybe Nina knows where Adi went? She was outside the house before you ran into me.”
Honi hadn’t seen Nina but Con was right. If nothing else, he should talk to her and make double-sure she knew they were over. He hadn’t wanted to be brutally honest with her and had tried to let her down gently, but maybe Adi was right. Clearing the air with his ex-girlfriend wasn’t a bad thing, especially if his mom had this crazy notion that they might get back together.
Honi entered the kitchen, not sure what he’d find. The familiar smell of lemon-scented cleaner conjured up a domestic sanctuary. In sharp contrast, his mom sat at the table, her eyes red and swollen. She’d been crying, and his heart went out to her. Out of habit, he looked around for his mother’s spirit animal to gauge her mood. There were none.
As he went towards her, he skidded on the slippery suds. His arms went up in an a
dult startle reflex, windmilling for a second before he recovered his position. His mom was by his side in an instant, her arm reaching towards him, before she withdrew it and said, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Honi swallowed. He hadn’t expected an apology. The woman who had berated Adi and shouted at Honi hadn’t been his mother. It was as if she’d been possessed, replaced by an exact, yet scarily different replica. He chided himself for the over-dramatic image, but that was how it had felt.
His mom threw her arms around him. She seemed to have shrunk over the last decade. Honi had reached his adult height after his growth spurt at fourteen, although his skinny, lanky teenage figure had broadened over the years. His mother felt like a bird in his arms, her limbs fragile, her body insubstantial, compared to his solid bulk.
He buried his face in her wild mint-scented hair, the sweet-sharp smell reminding him of everything good in his childhood. When a tiny sob racked her body, he held her tighter, whispering reassurances. He couldn’t be angry with her. He loved her so much.
Yet she hadn’t mentioned Adi and only apologized to him. What if she couldn’t accept her as Honi’s girlfriend? He pushed the thoughts down deep. Yes, he could force a confrontation with his mother right here, right now. But holding her tightly, his eyes closed, the comforting scents of their joint past in his nose, he decided he’d wait for a better moment. When they both didn’t feel quite as raw.
16
Adi tiptoed towards the kitchen. She still hadn’t eaten, and her stomach felt like it was digesting itself. Judy had finished the dishes and was now talking to somebody on the telephone.
Adi didn’t want to see her, not now, and ideally not ever again. She heaved a huge sigh. She couldn’t really blame the older woman. Adi knew in her bones that something was off about all of this. Still, she’d rather wait until the kitchen was empty before raiding the fridge.
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