“Don’t go.” I cup her face in my palms and gaze deeply into her eyes. I lower my lips onto her face and kiss away the drops of her tears. They taste salty and sweet, just like Holly. Her lips part in surprise and I inhale as she exhales. Then I lower my mouth onto lips and kiss her with all of my strength.
Holly
I guess I have been holding onto this secret for so long that I just can’t hold it in anymore. It spills out of me until I tell Chris everything. The pain of losing my mother. The guilt of being an unwanted lovechild. The frustration of living with a woman who hated my existence. I have never unburdened like this to anyone before.
Chris is so sweet and patient as he listens quietly to my story. I am surprised when he tells me not to go. Family is so important to him I thought he would tell me to forgive my family and learn to love them. I am even more surprised when he kisses me. I have never thought he felt this way about me.
He almost crushes me with the force of his lips, as if he is urging me not to go with his tight embrace. He tastes like cardamom and sandalwood. Deep, masculine, and sexy. He inhales as I exhale and I inhale when he exhales. It is as if we are breathing as one. I don’t want it to stop.
Eventually, he lets me go and we stare at each other with our chests rising and falling rapidly. He grabs my hands and pulls them to his lips. He kisses every single one of my fingers with relish. “You’re the most beautiful and coolest girl I know,” he exclaims. “I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he croaks as he presses his forehead against mine while holding onto my hands. “I’m afraid, once you go back, you’ll never come back,” he says honestly.
His skin feels nice and warm to the touch. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He makes me feel secure and happy. Is this what home feels like? Is this what love is? I wonder. My memories of homes are just a series of places I have lived in. The only time I have ever found peace and comfort is in this town.
The answer rises to the surface without me even seeking it. I am staying here with him. I am not going anywhere.
I take Chris’s hands and lead him to the bed. His hands are warm and big and wrapped tightly around mine. I sit down and pull him toward me. We kiss again, each time more passionately. His hands roam all over my body with an urgency that I have never seen in him. He breathes me in as if I am oxygen to him. He bends down over my hands and flips my wrists over. I almost pull my hands out of his grip in surprise. Instead, he flips over my wrists and plants light kisses over the scars there. I was a really unhappy kid, and I used to cut myself so I wouldn’t feel so numb all the time. I am now ashamed of those scars.
As if reading my mind, he says in a husky voice, “You’re so beautiful. Every inch of you is gorgeous. The scars make you who you are.” He brushes a strand of hair away from my face and kisses me again. His lips linger over mine, trailing downward toward my neck and chest. Slowly, he pulls my top over my head and my hands and arms immediately lower to cover the thick waist and side rolls that I am not proud of. Ever since I was a child, I have always struggled with food and my weight. It has only gotten better in recent years but I am far from the thin, statuesque models in fashion magazines.
His blue eyes darken with hunger as he takes in all of my bare body. His hot mouth covers one pert nipple while his hand kneads the other breast. Instinctively, I part my legs just a touch and moan. It feels so good to have his hands and mouth on me. Heat is running under my skin like hot currents. Everywhere he touches, it is as if my body is being activated by his fingertips.
Realizing the state of my undress and his lack thereof, I whisper to him, “It’s not fair.” And I peel his clothes off of him. I gasp as I reveal his broad chests and hard abs. It is amazing how some people just hit the genetic goldmine. He has the chiseled good looks of a Roman statue without ever needing to hit the gym.
I run my hands across his chest, brushing against the ample chest hair. He bites his lower lip and fights back a groan. I can tell that he is waiting for me to take the lead. He is ever the gentleman, but I can see the lust and urgency in his eyes. I don’t want him to be just his usual perfect self with me. I know that he is sweet and kind and all sorts of wonderful. But everyone has their flaws and they need to feel okay with their flaws as well.
For example, I have a buttload of flaws in others’ eyes. I am not the sweet, pretty daughter that my mom wanted who would help her hold onto the man she loved. I am not the thin, pretty ballerina that Cameron’s mom would have preferred. I am not the fake blonde with big boobs that society wants me to be. I am far from perfect, but I am happy to be me. Plain old me with my thick waist, nose piercing, and scars.
In the same way, I want him to be himself in the truest sense with me. I want him to abandon all reserves and be with me in the way he wants, any way he likes. I trace the lines of his mouth with my thumb and tell him, “I don’t want you to hold back.”
Chapter 4
Christopher
“I don’t want you to hold back.” Those are the sweetest words in the English language.
Growing up with two younger sisters, I have always felt that I need to be the responsible one. Being the only boy in the family means I don’t talk about how I feel as much. Be silent, be strong, be kind, those are the characteristics that define a man in my family. Unlike my sisters who can complain about a teenage crush or a failed exam, I have always held everything in.
It is not because my family isn’t open or loving with one another, but I always felt that I need to be in control of the situation. I am the one who needs to be responsible for my parents and sisters, and I can’t show any failings or weaknesses.
Eventually, what I show to my family and the world isn’t really myself at all. I always have to check what I do and what I say. I always have to be courteous, patient, and caring of others. To do that, I have to ignore what I want to do and who I want to be. Some days I feel suffocated that I just want to burst out of my shell. I want to leave all of this behind and go somewhere to start a new life. A life where I can be me.
I was fascinated by Holly when I met her. Her brazen words and unconventional sense of style showed me she didn’t care about what others think of her. When she confides in me about her past, her vulnerability only allows me to see her more as a real person. She puts me at ease because she is at ease with herself. I know that I can tell her about my sins and failings and that she would understand. I know that I can be myself with her, not Christopher Colton, the perfect son and brother that I have always tried to be.
I have been holding back for too long. Everything within me feels like it wants to burst out at once. My zest for life, my lust for Holly, and my desire to be close to her, all rush out at the same time. I want to hold her in my arms forever so we can experience the ups and downs of life together. At this moment, I know that I want her and there is nothing else that matters.
Carefully, I lower her on her back onto the bed and remove her winter leggings until she is completely bare in front of me. My eyes feast upon her gorgeous curves and her soft, flawless skin. The discomfort in my jeans has now reached the level of pain. I remove my own last article of clothing just as quickly and hover myself over her.
I nip at her ears, trailing my lips and tongue over the little metal rings of her various piercings. She arches her back as she moans, sending her large, round breasts bouncing in front of me. I bury my face between their warm, heavenly goodness and suck on the tender skin of her naked chest.
My fingers, deftly, prod into her tender folds. Her skin is so soft and moist there. I raise my hand to my face and taste her arousal with my tongue. Her taste is sweet, and it inflames my desire like no other. While on my hands and knees, I crawl lower so I am positioned between her legs and directly facing her mound. Her secret flower opens up to me like a rose in the morning light. Beads of her juices leak out like honey and I lick my lips in anticipation.
“You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen,” I pant.
A small noise gets c
aught in her throat and the only thing I can focus on is the pretty pussy in front of me. I lower my head over her mound and drag my tongue across her tender, pink petals. My tongue enters her, and she moans deeply. My thumb finds the hard knob of her clit and I rub it vigorously.
The room is quiet now except for the licking sounds that I am making and the small gasps between her labored breaths. Suddenly, her body starts to quake and I need to hold her down with my hands to keep her from jerking away for me. She cries out my name numerous times as I continue to lick and suck on her clit. As she finishes, her milky skin is colored by a sheen of warm pinkness. It is as if she is blushing from the inside and out. I have never seen a more gorgeous sight.
“No one has ever done that to me before,” she says with her breasts heaving.
“Really?” I raise myself on my forearms, quite pleased with myself at the moment. “That’s hard to believe. You have an amazing body.”
Holly blushes and her eyes flicker away from me. “I’ve, I’ve actually never done this with anyone before.” She raises her dark eyes at me, looking straight at me as she waits.
It’s not that I think Holly is “easy.” But she is extroverted and well-traveled. Even though those things have nothing to do with her relationship history, I just assume that she’s very experienced both in life as well as in the adventures of love. Needless to say, I am surprised to hear that I am her first. But at the same time, a sense of pride swells in my chest, as naturally as it would for any man with the girl he loves. I want to be the first man to claim her and I want to be the last.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” I whisper as I stroke her hair. At that moment, there is nothing I want more than her, but I’m only want to treasure her and savor her. I would never force her to do anything she isn’t comfortable with.
In Holly’s usual bold and straight forth manner, she wraps her soft fingers around my thick, erect cock and fixes her seductive dark eyes on me.
“I want you,” she declares.
Holly
“I want you.” I have never been more honest in my life. My honesty usually just scares other people away, but I can see the burning desire in his deep blue eyes, too. I know that he is fighting back his urges and letting me take the lead.
But I don’t want him to hold back, just like I told him. I want him to throw me across the bed, spread my legs, and claim me like he owns me. Sweet and gentle Chris, always full of tenderness and brotherly love. I want to bring the beast out of him. I want him to give as well as take pleasure. I want to feel small and protected, as I nestle into the crook of his strong arms. I want to feel like I belong to him and I want him in all of his masculine glory.
“I want you to take me,” I whisper as I trail my fingertips down the hard muscles of his body. His skin is taut and smooth. “Anyway, you want.” I am giving him permission to take control.
With a growl, he grabs me by the waist and deposits me on my dresser like I weigh nothing. With his thick arms still around me, he wraps my legs over his waist and aims for my entrance. I am already wet and ready for him. With one smooth stroke, he enters me. For that moment, I feel so full and alive. Every inch of my being is lit from the inside by him as if by a bright, warm light. I clutch his biceps as I shut my eyes and fight back a cry. The pleasure is almost too much.
“Did I hurt you?” There is genuine concern in his deep baritone voice. He does not move a muscle as he waits patiently for my answer. I know that this is agony for him.
I sigh and feel so content that he treasures me so much. With a coquettish grin, I open my eyes and with a push of my ankles on his back, I urge, “Harder, please.”
With his face buried deep in the crook of my neck, he plows into me. We slam together like two halves of the whole. I feel like I am surrounded by his body, his smell, his being. I can feel our body heat rising until it is as if we are melting together like two pieces of hot metal. Our breaths become more ragged and sporadic.
Suddenly, he pulls out of me and I grunt with frustration as I feel the emptiness as his thick cock leaves me. With a devilish grin, he flips me on my stomach to the edge of my bed and enters me again from behind. I love seeing him so alive and in control.
My face is pressing into my soft bed sheets as I feel each of his strokes pushing deeper into me. My wetness and his precum mix together as they drip down the inside of my thighs. With each stroke, his thighs slam against the soft flesh of my ass. Soon, the pleasure that has been lapping at me like small little waves starts to feel like an entire ocean that I am drowning in.
“Oh, Chris. Oh, Chris.” I cry out his name.
“You’re so beautiful. You make me feel so good,” he answers incoherently. He places his large hands over the back of my hands and interlocks his fingers with mine. I grip onto his hands as I feel the end is near.
Strange sounds escape my throat and I don’t sound like myself. I close my eyes and feel like I am blinded by a warm, white light as our bodies are smelt together. I start to shake from the core and out, and my fingers are still clutching his hands for support. It is as if I need to make sure he is still here. I am lost in a sea of pleasure and he is my only anchor. I almost feel faint from the intensity of my orgasm.
He groans deeply into the crook of my neck as his hips slow down. His arms are wrapped tightly around me now as he pumps into me for the last few strokes. His large, warm hands roam all over my shivering body, as thick jets of his cum empty into me and remnants of it drip down my legs like honey.
Chapter 5
Holly
Before I even open my eyes, I feel the soft brush of Chris’ lips on the tip of my nose. I want to pretend to be asleep for a moment longer, but my nose itches too much and I crinkle it. His laugh rings like bells and he swoops me up in his arms.
“Good morning, my Christmas Holly. Merry Christmas Eve!” He kisses me, so I laugh and finally open my eyes.
His dark brown hair is in a cute mess and his blue eyes are dark in the early morning light.
“It’s sooooo early,” I pretend to whine and wiggle against him.
His arms tighten around me as I try to get away from him. “Don’t move,” he warns me. “Unless you want to spend the whole day in bed.” His eyes glitter like the darkest sapphire. There is a wicked grin on his sexy lips. Even though it’s supposed to be a threat, the idea of spending the whole day with him in bed sounds delicious to me.
“Sorry that it’s so early,” he mumbles into my hair. “I have to go open the bookstore. There are always stragglers needing last-minute gifts. But I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”
“I’ll come with you,” I answer with hooded eyes. If I can’t stay in bed with him the whole day, I’d rather hang out with him at the bookstore, since I am currently on school break and have nothing better to do.
He makes me eggs and coffee for breakfast and then we walk hand-in-hand into town.
As soon as he opens the bookstore, a gaggle of college-age girls wander in and set themselves up on the tables as usual. As best as I can, I try to restrain myself and not give them the “evil eye of the girlfriend.” I mean, I know that Chris is good-looking, but don’t they have better things to do on Christmas Eve morning? I don’t consider myself to be a possessive queen bee, but a girl has gotta set boundaries when it comes to her man.
One of the girls, a leggy brunette with too much makeup on, keeps throwing dirty looks at me as I stand behind the counter next to Chris. I recognize her, she is always here to flirt with Chris. At some point, I swear that she is making snide remarks about me to one of her friends, who looks back at me and laughs with derision.
Just like the skinny blondes at the fancy prep school I used to go to as a teenager, the girls are openly talking smack about me. I’m used to it by now. My weight, my hairstyle, my piercings are all easy targets, but I’m not ashamed of who I am. Chris, bless him, is completely unaware of what is going on and patiently shows me a stack of books that needs
to be put into storage.
“You know, you don’t need to be here to help me. You should go home and relax or go to my parents’ house and hang out with my sisters,” he says for the eleventh time.
“No, I want to help out. Also, the faster you finish, the more time I get to spend with you.” I happily carry the books to the back room and start to put them back on the shelf alphabetically.
“Tiffany, should we leave?” One of the girls’ voices gets carried over in the air vent over my head.
“Why?” a snarky, shrill voice answers. I can imagine the brunette with her snarling, scarlet lips.
“Well,” I can hear the hesitance in her friend’s voice. It’s hard to honest to bitchy girls like that. They live in their own little worlds. “Chris’s girlfriend is here. I just thought-”
“She is not his girlfriend. Are you kidding me? That fat ass with the gross purple hair? No way!” she launches at her friend with a vengeance. The shame of being picked over by someone like me is beyond what she can bear. I smile and shake my head as I finish sorting the last of the books.
“I’m sure he’s just pitying her. Did you see her ugly clothes? Who does she think she is with that disgusting hair and piercings?” None of her friends answer. I shrug as I glance down at my old t-shirt and jeans that I threw on as I leave my apartment with Chris this morning.
“And-” she pauses dramatically. “He kissed me.”
“Really?” Several of them ask with excitement in their voices. “When? How? Tell us!”
“Well, yesterday,” she pauses coyly. “He was helping me find an economics book and, well, you know.” My chest feels tight. Could it be true? No, it can’t be. There is no way. But, the dark corner of my mind wonders, yesterday was before Chris and I even got together. Also, just because we spent one night together, it might not mean anything. I was the idiot who followed him to work and wouldn’t leave him alone. He is too nice and conscientious to push me away. Now I’m just pestering him!
Merry Christopher Page 3
